WHAT IT SHOULD PLAY IS THE TWILIGHT ZONE MUSIC
(Thanks to Steve Pietrowicz)
(Note to support staff: "Classical" music?)
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November 30, 2007
KILLER CELL-PHONE UPDATE
Turns out it was not the phone that killed the guy. It was a truck. We are always getting those two things confused.
(Thanks to Howard from Broward and Brainy Jello)
SPEAKING OF BEER:
(Thanks to Phil Snyder
THE GREAT BEER HEIST
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and John Regan)
THEY HAD BETTER BE INSIDE CLEAR, ONE-QUART RESEALABLE PLASTIC BAGS
(Thanks to jon harris)
KIND OF LIKE WHAT LED TO THE BOSTON TEA PARTY, EXCEPT IT'S TOILET PAPER
(Thanks to Trent Whitney)
THEY ARE UP TO SOMETHING
This morning, in my driveway, I found this:
HO HO HO
Santa has to wear a seatbelt.
Key Quote That Made This Blog Think of the Previous Item: Every Christmas Eve he whizzes around the world...
(Thanks to Siouxie)
EVEN BETTER THAN WALKING AROUND WITH A GIANT NETWORK FOLLOWING YOU
Cell Phones Locate London Loos
Key Quote: The council said it hopes the service will stop people from urinating
in alleyways, saying some 10,000 gallons of urine ends up in
Westminster streets each year.
Reaction To Key Quote: Yuck.
(Thanks to many people)
IT'S GOOD TO BE A GUY ANTELOPE
Key Quote: Some males are so forcefully pursued by pushy females that they refuse the advances of previous partners.
(Thanks to gfunksizzle)
HOLIDAY MIRACLE
Lost Bracelet Found Inside Chicken
(Thanks to DavCat and xmnr)
November 29, 2007
GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
Give it up for: Sick Ram and the Ancient Bioweapons
(Thanks to again to -- speaking of sick -- CJRun)
WE CHOOSE TO LOOK AT THE UPSIDE
(Thanks to Larry Martell)
OK, BUT...
...most guys already have one.
(Thanks to jon harris)
WE WOULD HAVE DONE IT FOR HALF THAT
Scotland pays $250,000 for a new slogan.
(Thanks to CJRun)
DANG
For a moment there, we were excited.
(Thanks to Laurie)
MAYBE THEY'LL REDUCE THE CHARGES
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
SOPHIE'S NOTE TO SANTA
We found this propped up on the sink in the guest bathroom, which I guess is the one Sophie figures Santa would use.
NOW WE KNOW IT'S THE HOLIDAY SEASON
The bocken cam is up.
(Thanks to Baron vonKlyff)
CRUCIFIX OF THE DAY SO FAR
(Thanks to Art Chimes, who observes: "Hail Mary, full of bytes")
ATTENTION, RESIDENTS OF EARTH
You might want to think about moving.
(Also thanks to Siouxie)
SPLOTT, CARDIFF
(Also thanks to DavCat)
WHAT ABOUT THE RETURN POLICY?
(Thanks to DavCat and gjd)
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
(Also thanks to Siouxie)
'TIS THE SEASON
...for drunken moose.
(Thanks to Siouxie)
WHY WE NEED GUYS
Guys do useful stuff.
(Thanks to weaselboy)
THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
Now they're using arsonist armadillos, which would be a good name for a rock band.
(Thanks to DavCat)
November 28, 2007
A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE WILL BE SENT...
...to this major appliance.
(Thanks to Gretchen DeJarnett)
WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS...
...is often alcohol-related.
Key Quote: A fracas broke out at Hogs and
Heifers Saloon on Monday night when a little person in an Oompa Loompa
costume took offense at being called a midget.
(Thanks to Mike)
FOOTBALL-COACH NAME OF THE DAY SO FAR
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
THE NEWS FROM ENGLAND
Madonna has been baaad.
(Thanks to Laurie)
WHY THEY DON'T SHOW THE ENTIRE MACY'S THANKSGIVING PARADE ON TV
(Thanks to Russell Mc)
MEN:
Whatever you do, do NOT click here.
(Thanks to Claire Martin, a woman)
THE PAST
It can come back to haunt you.
(Thanks to Tom in Maine)
ATTENTION, COUPLES WHO WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER
Here you go. Literally.
(Via Gizmodo)
ATTENTION, RUSSIAN RAILROAD PASSENGERS
(Thanks to Expat Canuck)
FLORIDA
Where Even the Litter is Different
(Thanks to Chaz Schlueter)
EXCELLENT NAME FOR A BAND
Inseam Blowout and the Combat Pants
(Thanks to Nancy Lambert and DavCat)
LEGAL RULING OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to Siouxie)
BUSINESS NEWS UPDATE
(Thanks to Joshua Evans)
NOT EVEN CLOSE
According to this article, researchers estimate that the average woman spends a total of three years getting ready to go out. This is ridiculous. I personally, have waited longer than that in a single evening.
(Thanks to Lardog)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(Thanks to DeskDiva)
CREEPING FASCISM UPDATE
Soon we will have no fundamental human rights left.
(Thanks to Siouxie)
ADVISORY TO VIRGINIA MOTORISTS
(Thanks to DavCat)
November 27, 2007
MEMPHIS
(Thanks to Weaselboy, who cites this Key Quote: “They come to the window, 'Tap, tap, tap.' I'm still ignoring them," Brisco told WMC-TV. "I guess that just pissed them off worser.")
WE'RE CALLING OUR TRAVEL AGENT
(Thanks to John Regan)
SARASOTA COUNTY COMMISSIONERS
(Thanks to Jennifer Johnson)
WHOOPS
(Thanks to Greg Snow)
SPORTSPERSON OF THE WEEK SO FAR
Key Quote Indicating Naivete or Cluelessness on the Part of Authorities: Authorities don't know why Clifford E. Clark III, 47, of Knoxville, allegedly put three bullet holes in the Redflex Traffic Systems camera.
Maybe he thought it was a coyote.
(Thanks to Mike)