YOU NEED THEM

(Via Gizmodo)

Comments

[sthnbelle]

Looks like a easy trip to the emergency room. No thanks.

[gjd]

DAVE SAYS WE NEED SHOES!!!

[FredinKC]

I also need a cracked skull. I could get both at once!

[Ellasmom]

Yikes! sthnbelle is right, I couldn't even get them on safely, let alone stand upright and move.

And the word of the day is Productivity!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Omigod - SHOES!!!!
*zips out to zappos*

[blurk]

Can ya make 'em go faster?

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

It would be better if, instead of cable controls it had BlueTooth™.

Or maybe a web interface (that we could hack and then make the wearer do REALLY crazy stunts).

[crossgirl]

do they come in black patent?

[casey]

Wow, those would look great with my light up bra and electric leather skirt!

[gjd]

*snork* @ DPChris. I was thinking they sounded fun until you brought that idea up.

[sthnbelle]

Well, in the spirit of productivity, Ellasmom....

[Siouxie]

HEY! shoes is shoes...

Even if it's shoes that can potentially kill you.

*joins Annie @ ZapatosRUs*

[gjd]

Casey, that's a pic. that needs to be on the Blog Halloween page.

[pogo]

Lemme guess - Batteries not included?

[casey]

gjd, I could show you a pic, but then I'd have to poke your eyes out. Unless you poke 'em out first.

[casey]

gjd, here's the site for the bras. My electrical buzzing skirt is patent pending (TM thingy) so it's still top-secret.

somebody do a favor for me since I'm htlmnop impaired?

http://www.enlighted.com/pages/bras.shtml

[gjd]

OMG, Casey, those are great! The scrolling message bra is too funny...just in case you don't know what you're looking at... LOL

*goes back to check sizes and prices*

[daisymae]

(rummages in box of old in-line/skateboard stuff for KNEEPADS, ELBOW PADS, WRIST PADS, HELMETS)

I think I'm of an age where I need body armor.

[Siouxie]

casey's bra linky

[Edgar Greenberg]

I'd rather take my changes with mechanical shoes.

[myrtlemay]

Are these solar-powered batteries? What happens if you ride through a puddle? Will these replace NASCAR?

[Annie Where-but-here]

EG - you going thru the 'change', too?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Body armor for daisymae. Could be fun.

[ScottMGS]

I'm sure somebody has linked this before on a shoes topic but just in case....

NSFW: sound, language, bad taste

[Bãrön vønKlýff]

KNEEPADS, ELBOW PADS, WRIST PADS, HELMETS?

What kind of kinky stuff are you into daisymae?

[ScottMGS]

That's one helluva chestchastity belt, there, Annie.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Too bad it didn't come (har) with a warranty.

[Siouxie]

Sheesh, Baron...the usuals kinks. She's missing the baby oil and feather boa though...which is strictly a matter of taste.

yes?

[casey]

Feather boas have a taste?

[Ellasmom]

Lighted bras, as if guys needed any help finding them. Good Grief.

[Siouxie]

casey, only on very messy situations (iykwim)(aityd)

[ScottMGS]

Ellasmom - they're mesmerizing and if you move smoothly enough we won't notice that you've slipped out of it, left it hanging on the dresser knobs and left the room.

[Annie Where-but-here]

...or taken your wallet...to pay for the dang batteries. Those things aren't solar-powered, ya know.

[Bãrön vønKlýff]

Siouxie, I can understand kneepads (hardwood floors), elbow pads (see kneepads), and helmet (headboard, wall, ceiling), but wrist pads??? What are they to protect against?

[Siouxie]

handcuffs.

that. is. all.

[casey]

Baron I have the answer for that. It's to protect her from cutting her wrists when she is inevitably left high and dry, iykwim.

[casey]

Oh. Well Sx, you must have better luck than me.

[Wench Lizzy]

Looks like they left out the testimonials that said "Now I have two cracks in my ass thanks to these..."

[ArcticAl]

Casey, you obviously must be going out with the wrong men is all I can say.

[casey]

Al, just jivin...seeing if I could get a rise (har!) outta you guys this morning.

[DeskDiva]

Hm, casey - I think if I got that scrolling marquee bra I could get the whole Bears roster on there at one fell swoop.

[casey]

Judging from the sharp turn this thread has taken, I would say these shoes will drive you straight into the gutter.

I'm so glad I'm innocent and pure and I have had nothing to do with this.

[DeskDiva]

I meant to add that it would be fun at ball games. Sheesh.

[Siouxie]

Question:

I haven't seen the video clips. They take too long to load and I'm not a patient person.

Why is the motor thingy on one skate/shoe only? That could be dangerous is your other foot's lazy and all of the sudden the skate takes OFF. MAJOR split!

owwww

[casey]

HAHAHAHAHAHA Siouxie!!!

That visual made me LOLer!!!

[Siouxie]

casey, me too. I don't know why we hang (heh!) with these pervs.

[wickedwitch]

that's why it's important to do your daily flexibility exercises Siouxie. you know the ones, the ones that go with the knee pads, elbow pads and the wrist guards.

[Siouxie]

wicked, Pilates for flexibility is one thing...but think of the "rug" burn!!

yeeeeoooooooooooooh!

(case, I was rolling while thinking about it too LOL)

[DeskDiva]

casey - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

[crossgirl]

*snorksnorksnork* at siouxie and casey!

[gjd]

It never ceases to amaze me, what happens to this group when we are left too long unattended without a new post.

[queensbee]

need em in patent leather pink... look out for that....................wall. ow.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Pervs, Siouxie? Pervs??!!?

I resemble that remark.

[mm]

*digs around in junk drawer, emerges triumphant*

Ok, I have my skate key, anybody need adjusting?

[wickedwitch]

mm, now we know that you belong in the geezer class with the rest of us.

[ArcticAl]

You want to make sure that they fit properly mm. Can you adjust mine?

[Annie Where-but-here]

That's why kegels are not just for breakfast anymore.

[mm]

Oh, definitely in the geezer bus with everyone else.

Al, those are ice skates. Just what were you needing to have adjusted?

[crossgirl]

didn't this guy have a pair of these?

[gjd]

You know, I think he did, CG. I wonder it iShoes blow up, too.

[mm]

uh-oh better look real close to see if there's a tiny "ACME" on the side, According to OtheU there's a catalog out with instant tunnel paint, and anvils and stuff...

[Shark Tooth John]

Give new meaning and more sport to the phrase, "Walk the plank!"

[Meanie the Blue]

I don't know blinking breastesses why, but I'm finding nipplights it difficult to concentrate on the talk about flashing! topic at hand (as it were).

[blurk]

*blink blink*

Huh?

[Siouxie]

*SMACKS Meanie*

better??

[Siouxie]

blurk...

[Meanie the Blue]

Hey, who turned out the lights?!

[blurk]

Whut? I was thinkin' 'bout them cool scooter shoes or whutever...

[mm]

Tell you what Al, if you want to bring your skate over here, I'll make sure it's adjusted to the correct length...
*grins evilly*

[ArcticAl]

Why mm I thought you'd never ask...

[crossgirl]

skips off singing, i've got a brand new pair of rocket shoes....

[DeskDiva]

Personally, I think I'd have a harder time controlling these than roller skates and the last time I had a pair of those on my feet, I wound up on my butt - or, more accurately, my elbow - with a spectacular bruise that took four days to surface. A theatre friend had a serious conniption fit when she saw it because she wanted to photograph it for stage makeup. :-\

[Siouxie]

lmao, cg! I've had that song in my head too!

GET IT OUT!!!

[mm]

at least roller skates have a toe stop for pete's sake. How do you stop these babies? I'm not feeling real comfortable with brakes. Give me regular roller skates, you could get a half decent fitted pair for that money. (Ladies - builds nice shapely leg muscles)

...i've gotta brand new pair of roller...CG!!! dern you!!

[casey]

I'm on my rocket skates to h3ll!

[ArcticAl]

You got a brand new key...

*humms along*

[Meanie the Blue]

Yeah, dern you, cg!

[DeskDiva]

You all have "Roller Skates" in your brain, I have Weird Al's "Nature Trail to Hell - in 3D!" WTF is wrong with me?

Please don't all answer at once.

[Siouxie]

*SMACKS Meanie...again*

[Siouxie]

Course, if that song were to be written today, they wouldn't be writing about roller skates and keys iykwim.

*I think that we should get together and try them out to see...*

*SMACKS self*

[Annie Where-but-here]

*smacks Siouxie*
I always thought they were alluding to that.
*smacks blurkie just because*

[Siouxie]

ow!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Sorry. I thought you liked that. At least, that's what I'd heard.