GIFT SEASON IS COMING....
(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr. We don't know why Ted was looking at this item, and we don't want to know.)
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(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr. We don't know why Ted was looking at this item, and we don't want to know.)
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Definitely TMI, Ted.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | October 26, 2007 at 02:12 PM
Doesn't everybody have one of these??
*cracks whip*
Posted by: Mistress Siouxie | October 26, 2007 at 02:15 PM
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Oh, come on. After a listing like THAT?!
Posted by: DeskDiva | October 26, 2007 at 02:15 PM
research for a practical joke, but we're not spending that much for a laugh. Besides none of us have a truck to move the damn thing.
Posted by: ted | October 26, 2007 at 02:18 PM
Sure, sure a "Practical Joke". We all believe you.
Posted by: Edgar Greenberg | October 26, 2007 at 02:19 PM
Hm. Ted - i'm just not buying that. Or your excuse, either. ;-)
Posted by: DeskDiva | October 26, 2007 at 02:20 PM
ted, dahlink - real bondage men don't drive sedans.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 02:20 PM
*Quickly backs away from Siouxie, and arms himself just in case*
Posted by: Edgar Greenberg | October 26, 2007 at 02:21 PM
Even if you wanted it... there is not enough disinfectant in the WORLD.
Posted by: Dave | October 26, 2007 at 02:21 PM
Maybe Dave will buy it for research for his annual Gift Catalog (that-I'm-sure-he's-doing-again). Then, Ted, if you've been very, very good, Santa will give it to you. In more ways than one.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 02:22 PM
Looks like a cross between and Airedale and a welding machine.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | October 26, 2007 at 02:22 PM
Very true, Dave. Get a new one.
ted, likely excuse.
Posted by: Siouxie | October 26, 2007 at 02:23 PM
Those ARE oil stains in the driveway, right? Maybe not from a car....sigh...
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 02:23 PM
If I put one of those out on my driveway the trash haulers would take it. And leave me a thank you note.
Posted by: Howard from Broward | October 26, 2007 at 02:25 PM
Can it be driven around to parties?
Posted by: CJrun | October 26, 2007 at 02:25 PM
Cheezwhiz - and thomas the tank engine
Posted by: mm | October 26, 2007 at 02:26 PM
CJ - it can be driven around to pasties.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 02:26 PM
The scary part is the operator's manual weighs more than the bench.
Posted by: padraig | October 26, 2007 at 02:27 PM
Exactly, Dave. For that price he should at least throw in a few boxes of Sani-wipes.
*shudders*
Posted by: ellie | October 26, 2007 at 02:28 PM
P.S. I actually have a similar appliance, but Art Deco vintage with a nice mahagony veneer. And, no IANMTU.
Posted by: CJrun | October 26, 2007 at 02:29 PM
You can get equally good results with eyebolts and rope. At least that's what I've heard...
Posted by: Hammond Rye | October 26, 2007 at 02:30 PM
some people think they can foist this tacky stuff on the public. da noive! and you're right about the disinfectant..... and um, wouldnt that be... cold? never mind. Ted, just stick with ogling women and giving away barry bumper stickers.
Posted by: queensbee | October 26, 2007 at 02:32 PM
I have the fantasy bondage bench, which is the standard bondage bench...
I'd like the deluxe model, please.
Posted by: Siouxie | October 26, 2007 at 02:33 PM
*hides whip*
*WAVES @ Hammie!!!*
Posted by: Siouxie | October 26, 2007 at 02:34 PM
So if you go to the L.A. craigslist and type in bench, there are multiple hits for bondage benches. Multiple! Is selling used sex devices/furniture common practice out there in la-la land?
Posted by: Abbe | October 26, 2007 at 02:38 PM
Five hunnert bucks and no built in beer cooler?!
Posted by: fivver | October 26, 2007 at 02:39 PM
*hands Hammie eyebolts and rope*
What?
CJ - I need pictures.
Posted by: DeskDiva | October 26, 2007 at 02:40 PM
Abbe, they all dated the same woman.
BTW, is it me or is the bot really pms'd today?
Posted by: fivver | October 26, 2007 at 02:40 PM
I wonder if he....delivers.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 02:40 PM
Annie, are you waiting on a... package?
Posted by: fivver | October 26, 2007 at 02:42 PM
Actually, Siouxie wanted to know.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 02:43 PM
P.S. I actually have a similar appliance, but Art Deco vintage with a nice mahagony veneer. And, no IANMTU.
Posted by: CJrun | 02:29 PM on October 26, 2007
************************
Hey there big guy, how YOU doin?
ISIANMTU
When I first read the headline, I thought it said "Goat season is coming". Then I read the article. Then I poked my eyes out with a spork. Then I poured bleach into the empty sockets.
Posted by: casey | October 26, 2007 at 02:45 PM
I think I also will need some of that disinfectant for my eyes and brain now. You know, what some people do in their private life, I really don't wanna know. I mean, what if your friend took you into their garage and showed you that and told you all the "things" they've done on it. YOu would never see them the same way again. Instead of saying, "Hey, there's Ted! (haha!)" you think, "Oh, ugh, there's the bondage sexer! I hope he washed his hands!"
Posted by: Wench Lizzy | October 26, 2007 at 02:47 PM
casey, I believe this contraption works with goats too.
Hammie told me.
Posted by: Siouxie | October 26, 2007 at 02:48 PM
Hahahahahahahahahahaha casey!!!!!!!! Girlfriend, I been MISSIN' you!!!
Posted by: DeskDiva | October 26, 2007 at 02:49 PM
Siouxie - that was baaaaad for you.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 02:50 PM
And Diva, I've been missing my mind.
Posted by: casey | October 26, 2007 at 02:51 PM
Certainly not in my fantasies!
Except for the medieval ankle stock, it looks like a combination walker/scooter (for when the legs get tired, ya know).
Posted by: daisymae | October 26, 2007 at 02:53 PM
Siouxie - that "thing," which will inevitably cause reoccuring nightmares, that you linked us to boasts nipple zippers!
And, BTW, The Nipple Zippers WBAGNFARB...or not.
Posted by: Abbe | October 26, 2007 at 02:53 PM
(private note to casey)(don't anyone look)(or else)
(pssssss?? Nov?? let me know!)
Posted by: Siouxie | October 26, 2007 at 02:53 PM
When I first saw Dave's headline, I accidentally clicked on the picture with Ted and the girl. I was curious how she would be worked into the Guide (and the Herald budget).
*Waves @ DD!!!!*
*Waves @ Siouxie!!!!*
*Notices whip and hides behind blogbar.*
Posted by: Hammond Rye | October 26, 2007 at 02:53 PM
what kind of accessories does the deluxe model have?
'four on the floor'?
Posted by: insomniac | October 26, 2007 at 02:54 PM
a bondage bench for your bondage b!tch. how thoughtful.
Posted by: crossgirl | October 26, 2007 at 02:54 PM
*snork* @ insom...he's obviously quite familiar with this equipment.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 02:56 PM
Annie, didn't I see something that looked like that in your garage? ;) In pastel?
Posted by: Eleanor | October 26, 2007 at 02:57 PM
P.S. I actually have a similar appliance, but Art Deco vintage with a nice mahagony veneer. And, no IANMTU.
Posted by: CJrun | 02:29 PM on October 26, 2007
mah agony veneer?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Posted by: crossgirl | October 26, 2007 at 03:00 PM
Abbe, that thing looks pretty creepy. But it's comfty. So they've told me.
El, Annie's "bench" has a built-in gun rack.
Posted by: Siouxie | October 26, 2007 at 03:02 PM
*still trying to figure out where Pastel, Ca is*
Posted by: fivver | October 26, 2007 at 03:03 PM
No, El. More of a taupe than a pastel. But Siouxie's correct on the 'gun rack.' That's what we call it anyway.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 03:07 PM
Doubles as a "boulder holder" too, Annie. Or so I hear.
Posted by: Siouxie | October 26, 2007 at 03:09 PM
LOL, cg!!
Hammie, Honey - you don't have to hide from me. *holds out empty hands* See? No whip!
And Abbe - maybe Nipple Zippers WBAGNFAjazzB. Kinda like the Squirrel Nut Zippers (NTTAWWT).
Posted by: DeskDiva | October 26, 2007 at 03:10 PM
Did someone call me?
Posted by: Goatse | October 26, 2007 at 03:11 PM
Um, no Goatse, no one called you. Go way before I lose my lunch.
Oooops, too late.
(private to Sx, nobody look...YEP!!!)
Posted by: casey | October 26, 2007 at 03:13 PM
Hmmm. Never saw it in that metallic color before ....
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | October 26, 2007 at 03:16 PM
Here you go, Diva.
Posted by: CJrun | October 26, 2007 at 03:17 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: DeskDiva | October 26, 2007 at 03:17 PM
CJ - If at first you don't succeed, relink, relink again!
Posted by: DeskDiva | October 26, 2007 at 03:18 PM
...you want real bondage ?
Posted by: Texas | October 26, 2007 at 03:18 PM
Oops!
Posted by: CJrun | October 26, 2007 at 03:20 PM
Tex - you look so cute in white.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 03:23 PM
makes mental note to never play doctor with cj.
Posted by: crossgirl | October 26, 2007 at 03:24 PM
*hooha puckers*
damn CJ (OBGYN)
Posted by: Siouxie | October 26, 2007 at 03:24 PM
Here ya go.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 03:26 PM
CJ is very confused. Are you Baptist?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 03:26 PM
fivver, I was beginning to think it was just me. I've been botted more today than I have the whole rest of the week.
Posted by: gjd | October 26, 2007 at 03:27 PM
*will not make a pun about cj and customer cervix*
Posted by: fivver | October 26, 2007 at 03:30 PM
Do that again, Siouxie!
Posted by: Hammond Rye | October 26, 2007 at 03:31 PM
*waves borrowed machete at Hammie*
Whut? It's for clearin' bush.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 03:32 PM
Tex - I was expecting a link to this.
And note to blogits: NEVER EVER EVER do a Google search on "hogtied" with your safe search off.
*swigs down brain bleach, borrows casey's spork to scoop out eye sockets*
Posted by: DeskDiva | October 26, 2007 at 03:33 PM
CJ always wanted to be an OBGYN, but he couldnt find an opening in the field.
Posted by: casey | October 26, 2007 at 03:36 PM
Dr. CJ @ your cervix!
Posted by: Siouxie | October 26, 2007 at 03:37 PM
Why do you need a bondage bench? Or whips and chains and all that other crazy stuff?
Why not just turn me over your knee and use a hairbrush? Trust me.... You will make your point just the same!
Posted by: Adult Delinquent | October 26, 2007 at 03:37 PM
DD.
....looks a little like annie with a better complexion.
Posted by: Texas | October 26, 2007 at 03:38 PM
Does that come with a case of bleach? Otherwise, EEEEEWWWWW. That is all.
Posted by: KOW | October 26, 2007 at 03:39 PM
It should be noted that "hooha puckers" WBAGNFARB.
(With the heavy metal band Speculum as the um, err, opening act.)
Posted by: Hammond Rye | October 26, 2007 at 03:40 PM
*SMACKS & SNORKS @ Hammie*
Posted by: Siouxie | October 26, 2007 at 03:41 PM
*snork* to casey! Hey, Tex, your ride is here.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 03:46 PM
Honestly, I don't know how to react to any of this.
I mean really, how is < ahref="http://www.extremerestraints.com/latex-bondage-balloon_604.html">this any different from this.
Also, Ew.
Posted by: Alfred Simon Fyodorovich | October 26, 2007 at 03:50 PM
Hammie!!! That was beeeyootiful!!
Posted by: DeskDiva | October 26, 2007 at 03:51 PM
So much for my halloween costume.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 03:51 PM
Alfred,
Did you see the episode of "Entourage" where Drama hooked up with a furrie or a plushie or whatever the heck you call em....
Funny stuff.
Posted by: Adult Delinquent | October 26, 2007 at 03:53 PM
It's only furrie the first time.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 26, 2007 at 03:54 PM
I need a space up there. Stat!
Posted by: Alfred Simon Fyodorovich | October 26, 2007 at 03:55 PM
AD- I saw the Drew Carey episode with that. He had to get really drunk.
Oh and I also found this.
Posted by: Alfred Simon Fyodorovich | October 26, 2007 at 03:58 PM
Thought you all would appreciate my taste in refinishing projects.
Posted by: CJrun | October 26, 2007 at 03:59 PM
Furfectly delightful, CJ.
Posted by: DeskDiva | October 26, 2007 at 04:04 PM
Actually, casey, I just don't like to mix business with pleasure!
Posted by: CJrun | October 26, 2007 at 04:07 PM
CJ- It needs varnish.
I am in a play called the Bald Soprano. We really do talk like the play, don't we.
Brando was a Furry.
Bad Blind Date
Posted by: Alfred Simon Fyodorovich | October 26, 2007 at 04:14 PM
yep, I just silenced everyone.
Sorry.
Posted by: Alfred Simon Fyodorovich | October 26, 2007 at 04:19 PM
OMG - You're doing Ionesco? I did a scene from that in high school with my buddy Mike! Ooh. Good memories. :)
Posted by: DeskDiva | October 26, 2007 at 04:21 PM
Alfred, it has beautiful hardware and details, but needs complete refinishing and reupholstering. Mostly, what it needs, is a bigger house; I don't have room for that or any other large projects in the house. Someday, I will get a bigger place and my 'recliner' can take its place of honor in the Pointy Ball watching room. It's actually quite comfortable, though I haven't figured out why the cup holders are all 90 degrees from usable. :-P
Posted by: CJrun | October 26, 2007 at 04:23 PM
CJ- I am certain the cup holders can be fixed.
DD- Yes, we are. I have to say, it is really difficult to do. My character is from Liverpool, and its tough to sound angry with that accent.
And the lines themselves are quite absurd.
Posted by: Alfred Simon Fyodorovich | October 26, 2007 at 04:32 PM
I keep laughing at every line I have to say.
"If you sell and Ox today, you'll have an egg tomrrow."
Posted by: Alfred Simon Fyodorovich | October 26, 2007 at 04:43 PM
I mostly remember a whole string of seemingly unrelated words bouncing back and forth between Mike and me. I think "Balzac" was one of them. It was kinda like word association.
The absurdity is the reason we chose the piece.
Posted by: DeskDiva | October 26, 2007 at 04:51 PM
I agree, the absurdity is quite fun. I am just having a hard time translating it. Or more precisely, turning off my translator.
It is a great deal of fun. We meet during Acting class and just act like we are having Tea.
All while saying, "Cacao trees in cacao farms do no grow coconuts they grow Cocoa!"
Posted by: Alfred Simon Fyodorovich | October 26, 2007 at 04:57 PM
I had a friend in a recent production of Samuel Beckett's "Waiting for Godot"...
It was a tad bizarre and hard to follow, but interesting.... Truly theater of the absurd....
Posted by: Adult Delinquent | October 26, 2007 at 04:59 PM
This is my first Absurdist, so I get all sorts of confused. I am used to understanding the characters by what they say, now I have to add in what ever I feel like and watch the cues. Very different job of characterizing.
Posted by: Alfred Simon Fyodorovich | October 26, 2007 at 05:07 PM
Why did it get so quiet all of a sudden.
Lots of comments.
Then nothing.
Posted by: Alfred Simon Fyodorovich | October 26, 2007 at 05:08 PM
Or not much anyway.
Posted by: Alfred Simon Fyodorovich | October 26, 2007 at 05:08 PM
If someone tried to give me one of these, I would be bound and determined to get my money back!
Posted by: Pirateboy | October 26, 2007 at 05:11 PM