« Previous | Main | Next »

October 15, 2007


In last week's episode, Jack Bauer was sentenced to 48 days (or 1,152 episodes) in jail.

No, wait, that's what happened to Jack in real life. What happened here on the blog last week, in the mind of the Amazing Clue-Detective Steve, was that Jack ended up in an episode of Bewitched and ended up, after the traditional flash of light, in a gravel pit. Edgar is still dead. We give you now The Amazing Steve™.   


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

24 – Two Days Later – Hour 21

The following takes place between 3 pm and 4 pm

3:00 pm – Jack, Bill, Morris and Chloe are standing in a large pit with gravel all around them.

Morris says, “Did Darrin say what I thought he said? He created an ad campaign against CTU? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of.”

Bill says, “CTU has been around in one form or another for longer than we’ve all been alive. I figure that from the way Samantha, Darrin and the rest of those people were dressed, it must have been the early 60s. Why would they need advertisements for stopping CTU from being created?”

3:02 pm - There’s a loud scream.

Chloe says, “Well, it’s about time!”

Morris says, “What? You were waiting for a scream?”

Chloe says, “No, don’t be stupid. I mean it’s about time we hear a man scream. Usually it’s just women. I’m getting really sick of that, Jack. Jack?”

3:03 pm - Jack is already running up a dirt ramp to the top of the pit, and the others follow. Once he makes it out of the gravel pit, he stops to look around. Off in the distance there’s a tropical jungle, with some kind of commotion happening. A man and two children are running away from something Jack can’t see.

He runs towards them as they disappear into the jungle and out of sight. There’s still a lot of yelling which becomes more distinct as Jack gets closer. He hears a man yell, “Holly! Will! Keep running! Run to the cave! RUN!”

As they yelling fades, Jack stops at the edge of the jungle, uncertain of where to run next. Chloe, Morris and Bill catch up to him. Before they can say anything, Jack motions for them to stay quiet. Something hisses, a twig snaps and the bushes rustle nearby.

3:05 pm - Jack lunges towards the noise, disappearing into the jungle. Jack yells, “I have you now!” The rest of the group follows him. A few yards away, they find Jack on the ground wrestling with something that looks like a humanoid lizard. He starts to punch the lizard in the sides and it says, “Stop! Stop! We’re just joking!”

Jack jumps up and away from the lizard, completely surprised to find out that 1) A lizard can speak, and 2) that a lizard jokes. He says, “What is this? What’s going on?”

The lizard slowly starts to get up, reaches up, and removes his head…it’s a mask! It’s a teenager. “We were just joking! We didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”

3:06 pm - Chloe steps closer, and examines the mask. She says, “This is a rubber mask! This kid is wearing a rubber suit!” She turns to the kid, “What did you think you were doing? You could have gotten hurt!”

The teenager says, “It’s all a joke! Those people came here and started camping out in the jungle a few weeks ago. A bunch of us at school thought it would be funny to try and scare them, so we bought these rubber suits. We go into the jungle and make hissing noises to freak them out! We were just trying to have fun! We didn’t mean to hurt anyone!”

Bill says, “Jack, he’s just a kid. He’s not even with the people we’re chasing. Let him go.”

The teenager’s eyes grow wide as he stares at Jack and says, “You’re Jack? I promise I’ll never do this again!” He turns and runs into the jungle.

Jack starts to run after him, but stops when Chloe says, “Jack! He’s just a kid! Let him go!”

Jack says, “Yeah, but he recognized me! How is that possible?”

No one has an answer to this.

3:09 pm - Morris finally asks, “Do you think we’re supposed to help the people in the jungle?”

Jack says, “I don’t think so. Maybe if I had caught up with them. They are just campers. I want to know why that kid thought he recognized me. I think that’s what we’re after. Let’s go back to that gravel pit, and go beyond it. I want to see what’s out there. Let’s go.”


3:14 pm - The group has walked past the gravel pit, and continues to what looks like some sort of town. The buildings appear to be made of rock.

Bill stops and says, “It is all clear to me now! All of it!”

Chloe says, “You know why the terrorists are doing all these things?”

Bill says, “No, but I always wanted to say that.”

Chloe punches him.

3:15 pm - Morris says, “There’s something weird going on here… and I mean weirder than normal. These homes look like something out of history. I mean like ‘Bang rocks together to make sounds’ history.”

Chloe says, “You mean like the 50s?”

The buildings are stone, the fences are stone, and even the mailboxes are stone. Bill says, “I bet they don’t take things for granite around here!” Chloe rolls her eyes.

3:17 pm - A man wearing an orange animal skin with black spots stands near the edge of the street. Jack approaches him and says, “Sir, can we ask you a few questions? We’re a bit lost. My name is Jack…”

The man interrupts, “YABBA DABBA DOO! No need for introductions! I know who you are! I’m a big supporter of yours! The name’s Flintstone. Fred Flintstone! Come on in!”

3:18 pm - They all walk into the house. A woman is placing a pile of huge ribs on a kitchen table. Fred calls to her, “Wilma!”

The woman looks startled to see the group. Jack says, “I was hoping that…”

The woman looks surprised, "It's you!"

Jack looks surprised, "What do you mean…"

The woman says, “Wait until Betty hears about this!”

3:19 pm - She walks over to a table and picks up a ram’s horn, and makes a phone call. Chloe sees something on an end table that draws her interest. The woman says, “Hello, Betty? This is Wilma. You’ll never guess who’s here! Jack Boulder! Yes! In our house! Sure, you can come over!” She hangs up. “They’ll be over in a few minutes. Are you hungry? Have a seat!”

Jack says, “No ma’am. That’s OK. We just have a few questions.”

Chloe stares at the pile of ribs. “What the heck are these?”

Wilma says, “Those beaver ribs are just Fred’s dinner. I bought them at the butchers.”

Chloe says, “Beaver ribs? How big was it? It must have been huge!”

Wilma says, “No, just normal size.”

Chloe says, “What did you cut them with, a chain saw?”

Wilma doesn’t understand, “A what? No, just my usual beaver cleaver.”

3:22 pm - While this is going on Morris calls Bill over, and hands him a rock. Bill says, “You handed me… a rock.”

Morris shakes his head, “Take a closer look!”

Bill turns the rock in his hand. “It’s a… Pretty rock?” and takes a step back away from Morris.

Morris says, “Look at it!”

3:23 pm - Bill looks at it and is surprised, “Hey, this is a camera! He looks at it, and sees a door on the back. A small bird with a chisel and mallet is inside the camera standing in front of an easel. Bill says, “You’re telling me this bird chisels a picture when you take a picture? That’s remarkable!”

The bird shrugs, “Eh! It’s a living”. The bird grabs the camera door and slams it shut.


3:28 pm - A bird squawks, and a woman and a short man come into the house. Wilma is very excited in introducing them to Jack as their neighbors Betty and Barney Rubble.

Barney says, “Glad to meet you!”

Betty says, “Happy to meet you!” She steps closer to Jack, take a good look and then says, “But Wilma! This isn’t Jack Boulder! Jack Boulder has a more chiseled look!”

Barney looks more closely, “Hey! Betty’s right! Who are you people?”

Jack says, “I’ve been trying to tell you. My name is Jack Bauer, not ‘Boulder’. My friends and I are tracking down some bad people. Have you seen anything out of the ordinary?”

Fred says, “Besides you? No nothing.” Barney, Betty and Wilma all agree with Fred.

Jack says, “I don’t understand. Usually we’re here to help someone.”

3:32 pm - Standing over at the end table, Chloe speaks up, “Oh, this isn’t good. Jack! Take a look at this newspaper… er, newsrock!” She hands it to him. It shows the headline, “Big Speech At City Hall. The picture below the headline shows a man that looks remarkably like Jack.

Jack says, “I don’t get it. What’s wrong?”

Chloe says, “That article says that there’s going to be a big speech today. Jack Boulder is going to give his presentation to this city council and protesters are going to be there also.”

Jack says, “I still don’t get it.”

Chloe says, “Jack! He’s giving a speech about forming CTU! The advertisements that Darrin made for the terrorists… I bet they’re going to try and stop him!”

Bill says, “And if they stop CTU from being formed now…”

Chloe and Morris say (at the same time), “We won’t have any of those fun gadgets to play with!” They look at each other, and say “Jinx!”

Jack says, “It’s worse than that! There won’t be any perimeters and the terrorists will take over the country!” He turns to Fred, “Do you have a car I can borrow?”

3:35 pm - They run out to the garage. Fred’s ‘car’ has two huge cylindrical boulders for wheels, a couple of large logs connecting them, and an animal skin stretched over some branches, forming a roof.

Jack says, “How am I supposed to work this thing?”

Fred says, “By using your feet! …You’re not from around here are you?”

Jack tries to move the car by using his feet, but can’t budge it. “It won’t move.”

Fred says, “Well, of course not. What are those things on your feet?”

Wilma says, “Why don’t you just let Fred drive, courtesy of his two feet? A couple of you will fit in the front, and the rest and sit on the board on the back.”

3:37 pm - Fred jumps into the car, and Morris and Bill go around to the back. As they drive away, Morris asks Bill, “So… Wilma or Betty?”


3:43 pm - There’s a large crowd at the city plaza. Up on a podium, a man is addressing the crowd.

Fred says, “That’s Mayor Talc. He’s introducing Jack Boulder! YABBA DABBA DOO!”

Chloe whispers to Jack, “Why does he keep saying that?”

3:45 pm - Mayor Talc says, “And without further dabba do….er, I mean ado, I’m pleased to announce the formation of CTU: The Cro-magnon Tactical Unit. I’d like to introduce you to: Jack Boulder!”

While the speech is going on, Jack spots a group of protesters. He tells the group to stay where they are while goes to find out what they’re up to.

Jack Boulder addresses the crowd, “Thank you, Mayor Talc! I’m pleased that the city council has helped us form CTU. We’ll have the latest in technology, and will be using all the latest techniques: Looking at rocks, throwing rocks, finding out where the bad guys are hiding their rocks, and keeping them from getting really big rocks…”

3:48 pm - Jack sneaks up behind the protesters, and just as one raises a gun and shoots, Jack tackles him. Jack Boulder falls on the stage. People scream and run

Jack turns the man he tackled over. The man doesn’t struggle at all. Jack Boulder comes running off the stage towards Jack. Chloe, Morris and Bill run over too. Boulder says, “Good job, citizen! Let’s interrogate this guy! I have some pebbles I want to shoot into this guy’s thigh!”

Chloe says, “We’ll get him to talk! Throw me a taser!”

Boulder reaches into a pack he’s wearing and throws Chloe a piece of rolled up carpet and some socks. He tells her, “Throw it on the ground, and rub your feet back and forth…then touch him.” He sees Chloe’s expression and says, “…Hey! It’s just a prototype!”

3:49 pm - The man who shot Boulder doesn’t seem concerned about being captured. He just looks at a watch on his wrist, and smiles. There’s a countdown timer on the watch. Jack jumps up and tells everyone to get out of there. What’s left of the crowd scatters… and the next moment the man disappears. Jack screams in frustration.


3:55 pm – The police run around and make sure that everyone’s OK. Jack Boulder has been taken away to have his shoulder looked at. Jack says, “Why can’t we hold on to these people?”

He hears a metallic voice behind him. “It’s because you keep ruining my plans, Jack.” He turns to see a dark hooded figure standing on top of a nearby building. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

Jack yells, “Who are you? What are you doing here?”

3:56 pm - The figure on the rooftop says, “Let’s just say that I have a personal score to settle with you. Plus I’m almost out of men because you keep ruining my plans.”

Jack yells back, “You thought going back in time would stop CTU?”

3:58 pm - The hooded figure says, “You really aren’t seeing the big picture, Jack. I don’t just want you dead; I want you and your little CTU friends gone for all time!”

Chloe rolls her eyes and yells, “Couldn’t be a little MORE melodramatic, could you?”

The figure points something at them. There’s a bright flash.

3:59 pm - Jack, Chloe, Morris and Bill are standing next to two white poles.

4:00 pm - Time’s up!

Worst. Edgar. Link. Ever.

that's a lot to read during Monday Night Football, but I'm sure it'll be worth it.

Thanks again, Steve.

*wonders if the two white poles are Ligocki and Legerski.*

That was the grossest series of pictures you've ever shown, Dave!

(will read episode after Heroes)

The Edgar picture was Sooooooooooooooo wrong! Will also read after Heroes.

Good Golly Miss Molly that Edgar picture!!!!!!!!! I may need a lobotomy!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*goes back to reading and eagerly awaits the appearance of Chaka and the Sleestack, which WBAGNFARB, of course!!!!*

*sweeps, first*

*sweeps again*

*sobs LOUDLY*

Oh, Steve, WHY?! You faked me out!! YOU FAKED ME OUT!!!

*continues reading through blurry eyes*

Nice, Steve. I was with Wyo, in Gdansk.

That Edgar pic told me something: there is a limit to beer gut. Once that thing gets past his knees, he'll tip forward.

*snork* @ "beaver cleaver"

OK, Steve, EXCELLENT fakeout. You deserve rocks thrown at you kudos for that.

*snorks* for the "beaver cleaver" which WBAGNFA s3x toy, ;-) and for the "prototype taser." WOOHOO!

3:32 - PERIMETER! *drinks*

Hey, Dave - you know I love ya. Could you go a little easier on poor Edgar and the fat jokes? Some folks just is the way they is. :-)

Well, "beaver cleaver" also WBAGNFA johnson. Just sayin'. ;-)

OK, Diva, go to your room for that one. Wyo is watching the Giants/Falcons? I'm a Pointy Ball fan, but even Little Round Ball is lookin' more fun.

I won't mention the score, 'cause maybe Punkin' will peek out from under her Blankie.

Nice job, Steve.

Incidentally "Jack Boulder and the Rocks" sounds like a prehistoric band or a really lame preschoool story.

Yes, Sir, Dr. Johnson. *snicker*

I'm also watchin' Giants/Falcons and wondering why.

In keeping with Blog policy, I will not be mentioning that the BoSox have a Center Fielder named Coco Crisp.

His name is not actually Coco. It's Covelli Loyce Crisp. Much more dignified.

Good job Cleveland! And good job, Fox, scheduling it so that it would be over at a reasonable hour.

Time for me rest up for another episode....

That is a LOT of Edgar!

*SNORK!* at Amazing Steve Petrifiedowicz.

Hey, Coco Crisp came up through the Indians farm system. He got his full time job in center field with them when they traded away Milton Bradley. I'm not even kidding about that for all non round ball fans.

Oh, and another great episode Steve. Unlike the real 24 writers, your plot seems to be getting better and better each week.

Rockies 6, D-Backs 1 bottom of the 4th.


Nice for the Rockies! I'm on their side.

*flaps in for a moment*

Well, someone has to say it: Steve, you ROCK! ;-)

Go, Rockies! Nighty-night, y'all!

*flaps off to bed*

*rimmmmmmmmmm shot for Ducky!*

Ok, outside of a scant number of Red Sox nation in our gang, can we officially name the Rockies the Blog's team of destiny. Seems like most everyone is behind them at this point. Just askin'.

Good by me, but you're up against Punkin on this, ya know. Do you really want to take on her and her girls? She could really put some hurt on ya with those things. ;-)

Hey, I was just looking for a majority vote on the team we should support since most everyones teams came up lame and either didn't make the playoffs or choked like dogs. *see pictures of the Cubs as reference*

Man...and I was on your side until that low blow. Way to kick a chick when she's down, Doc. *shakes head*

Hey, the Cards, Astros, then Cards again represented the NL in the World Series for 3 straight years. Your beloved Cubbies got in and did what they alway do...fold up like a cheap date....I mean tent.

"always" not "alway" my "s" key is being a bit of pain in the rear right now.

Like user like keyboard. ;-)


I just spen 4+ hours in the ER getting 5 stitches in my minimes eye. She wiped out on the porch and fell into the storm door as it was closing.

And what kind of hospital closes its cafeteria at 5 pm, just before dinner hour?

And what kind of ER tells you 1 hour amd then you wait for 2 1/2 hours? We don't live in BFE.... if you told me it would be "awhile", I would have found an alternative provider..... not been held captive in a foodless, cramped waiting area for the duration of the evening!

I know shite happens, and if you are not in critical/dangerous peril, you are not a priority. But kindly communicate with me, and i will seek treatment for my child elsewhere. There are other choices in a metro area. Don't leave me hanging, dangling..... I effing hate that!

And my son hadn't eaten since breakfast due to new seating arrangements at lunch. He melted down when his food had hairs in it (yes, multiples) at 9:30 at night, and he hadn't eaten in 14 hours! Who can blame him? He has 0% body fat, no reserves.... total melt down.

Someone shoot me.


That is sooooo crappy. Which ER were you in?

How bout we just send Jack to shoot everyone else in the thigh Med? I feel your pain. My step daughter had such bad stomach cramping she couldn't walk down stairs so we called for the ambulance. They took her to the ER on a Wednesday night in Angleton Texas and she had to sit in the waiting area for an hour and 20 minutes. And she came in an AMBULANCE! Nuff said.

The good news is I have been a parent for 23 years of child life, and this is my first escapade to the ER.. I know, I am lucky, blessed even.

But Dayam. Work with me, people. If I get there before 5, shouldn't my needs be addressed before bedtime? And shouldn't food, other than candy bars and cokes, be available to me and my children?

Is this unreasonable? They don't sell candy and cokes in the schools anymore. Is there not a nutritionist on staff to require healty choices in the vending machines/only option? Oh, and a soda was bargain priced at 1.25. Am I effing in NYC? WTFBBQ?


Med- Blam?

Every time I have gone to an Emergency Room, I had priority. So I don't know what to say. Get your kid some Orange juice and a granola bar. Stat!


Thanks, Diva and Ric. I am fried after the ER stress, followed by the meltdowns. My kids are so thin, they don't have any "reserves." They just melt down and are inconsolable. Yelling, crying, and really bad attitudes. And it is completely due to diet/calories/starvation and misery. They got NO body fat... lucky them, right? But when push comes to shove... they lose it and completely go vesuvious.

ON me. Yikes. Dad is in Ft. Lauderdale. And she will have an amazing shiner tomorrow. Headache optional. But yowsa. My son was ready to call 911... and I was in the car, on the way, unavailable. Talk about catholic guilt. This grownup thing sux... big time.

Thanx, Al. I'm not sure if I am amazed or appalled at your ER experience. Care to share the details? I need a laugh. ;-)

And Al, I tried to do better than "fast food." I went to a drive through with pizza and spaghetti and meatballs. When we got home, the spaghetti was full of hair. black, nappy hair. We couldn't eat it, and the dog grabbed the pizza out of the patients' hands..... we all "went to bed hungry."

I am ready for the sun to rise tomorrow. In so many ways.


Is anyone bartending tonight? I am ready for a blogarita. This parenting thing is tough.

Med - this isn't gonna wreck your trip is it? I mean I know your kids are your priority - no question - but I hope you will still be able to go. Where are they staying while you're gone?

Also - just in case you have another trip to take, I've always had good luck in the ER at Research South (formerly Baptist). Never had a wait there, even for a mildly burned hand, which they actually thought was much worse than it really was.

GEEEEROSS on the hair! I had the same thing happen in a chicken fried steak some time ago - IN the chicken. I have no idea how, but they were wiry, stiff black hairs. NASTY.

*doubles the 'rita recipe and puts it in front of Med with a box of chocolates*

Thanx, Diva. I sure hope not. She is the toughest one of us all. They are supposed to be with Dad this weekend, but after talking with my folks tonight, I wouldn't be surprised if Nanny swoops in.

The weird thing is that my sister is picking up D from school so he does not ride the bus. She saw the fall, stopped, but did not see the BLOOD. Sis lost her cell, so I couldn't call her when my son was completely freaked out and wanted to cal 911. A neighbor (i called) went over and calmed everyone while I was in transit.

The completely hilarious thing is that my son told me, in a completely adult voice: "Mom, don't speed. I am holding down the fort until you get here." Man, that kid knows me to a T.

Frozen thin mints. With a side of red wine. Thx.

Is it ironic that my X is in Miami?

There's an X in Miami? *examines her alphabet again* ;-)

Irony is THE joy in life, isn't it? *sigh* Sucks.

Thin Mints™ comin' up.

Med, if she swoops in to stay and anything gets weird and she needs a local line for whatever, give her my cell number. I'm on call for ya. If you don't still have it, email me.

Thx. I am gonna take my own advice to my son and go to bed. Things always are better in the morning. Unless you have 5 stitches, a black eye, and an irrate mom ...... sigh.


Night, Med. Take care of yourself. Hug the minime.

Med- Although the first thing that pops into my mind is a story that is far scarier. - Read "The Bath" by Raymond Carver. Yes. To the point that I honestly thought he had hit me. He didn't, but it was very accurate- Instead, I will tell you the time I was playing hide and go seek.

My friend Jason had a great yard to play the game in. I was hiding out in the grass, slowly moving forward. His Grandmother spotted me, and thought I was an invading Communist. She began to scream at me. I thought she was joking. Then I hear some strange sounds. I realized that she had just shot at me with someone's rifle.
I honestly thought it was hilarious. My friends Dad helped me to my feet, he asked if I was ok. I thought I was doing great. I told him I was fine.
He told me I needed to go to the hospital. I said I was fine. He told me to look down. I was bleeding. I really have no idea what happened. The next thing I know, I am waking up in my room, with some bandages expertly placed on my stomach.

To this day I can't figure out if I was dreaming or it really happened.

{{{{{{MED}}}}}} and a chaste peck on the cheek from across the oceans.

Ouch. Med, that's inexcusable. The cafeteria, I mean. My hospital isn't even a major hospital and the cafeteria's open until after midnight. The ER wait depends on what Darwin dished up, really. Still, (((Med)))

Med, hope you and the kids are doing better now.

Sounds like you had a terrible night yesterday. But hopefully things are better now.

Med, I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that. I've had plenty of horrific experiences waiting around in the ER but always managed to find an open cafeteria.

Hope mimime is doing better today. (((((((((Mary)))))))))

Oh and btw, Dave. That Edgar picture is just BARF worthy. Thank you. I don't need to eat today.

*will go read now*

psssssst Wyo?? I also thought about the poles being ...Poles Or they could be in the middle of a football field...hmmm

{{{Med}}} Sometimes it is just noooooot faaaaaaaiiiiiirrrr having to be the grown up. I sure hope all are doing better after a good sleep and a good b-fast.

Sometimes it is just noooooot faaaaaaaiiiiiirrrr having to be the grown up.

hey....you stole my whine!!

hey med, by christmas you'll have a good story out of this. not that that helps now...for future ref, if you ask, at least at my hospital, they can find a snack for you to keep kids from melting down.

Hey! Let's not for get the Indians! We've had a break-out year, too!

Med, been there, done that! At the World-Renowned (just ask 'em!) Cleveland Clinic, no less! Daughter broke her arm/wrist skating at a skate park. Kept said information from me until all the Med-Check-type places were closed so it's off to the ER. Kept us there all night, first waiting on x-rays and then waiting for the hand specialist to come in to look at the x-rays.

My only consolation is that the doctors missed a night's sleep, too! We didn't get home til after 5:30AM. Daughter healed fine and still has full range of motion in the affected wrist. Important for a musicain who plays guitar!

I hope your daughter healls quickly!!

{{{{Med, MiniMed & Son of Med}}}}

Hope you're all a bit less frazzled and better fed this morning. BTW, I've got some extra body fat I'd be glad to donate. Just let me know. ;)


That sucks. As for your NYC reference, sadly you are 100% correct. We went to the ER exactly once and after sitting there for over 2 hours next to a poor young woman whose contacts had fused to her eyeballs (or something like that) but was still waiting, we left.

Hope she's doing better.

And (segue time), speaking of Edgar, I hope everyone saw him alive and well last week on "Ugly Betty."

And in other Edgar news:

He is wrapping up his movie which he directed entitled, "Dough Boys" which was filmed in and around the Bronx.

What else would it be called?

That misplaced comma was not mine, by the way.

Ohio Nora: any team that can beat the Red Sox has my vote.


Orphan: Maybe you're next shouldn't be a mere comma, but rather an apostrophe. They're always getting stuck in places where they're not supposed to be. In fact, rumour has it that they're is someone on this blog who is going to go nuts reading this.

I think apostrophes' right. There often found wear their not needed. More sew than comas.

Med, I gave up on ERs and just went to work for a Doc. Usually after one of my "cowboy oops" moments (as Annie likes to call them) I get diagnosed and treated in her kitchen.
Medical treatment AND food.

Whose to say? We can show up wear were not supposed to be and they're times when were supposed to be in place and choose not too.

Who needs punkshayshun anyway's?


blurk!! you've become famous!

Blurks write why waist thyme punkchewaitin when theirs bigger ishoes two tackle:

I loves me my !!!!!!!!!!!!'s!!!!!!

Jeff - Ouch. You hurt me.


Been there. But for myself.

Was unloading the dishwasher one night and found one of my wine glasses had broken. I pulled the bottom tray way out to reach in and get the piece of glass that had fallen to the bottom, steadying myself with my left hand on the still wet door.
Well, my hand slipped and I fell forward - onto the utensile holder. I leaned back and saw the handle of a knife protruding from my left upper chest.
Fun. So, of course, being very Jack Bauerish, I pulled it out. It was only a short blade, no too deep, but the blood started to gush. I was home alone and I grabbed the dishtowel on the counter, put in under my shirt, over the wound, and drove myself to the ER.

By the time I got there, my shirt was so bloody, it looked like I'd been shot or something. I checked in at the desk - the woman just kinda glanced at me and calmly took my insurance info., then told me to have a seat. So I did. There were several little boys in the waiting room wearing soccer uniforms, (waiting for a teammate who had broken his leg). They just kinda stared at me and my bloody shirt in horror.

After about 15 minutes, my dishtowel was soaked thru with blood, so I went to the woman at the desk and said "Could I get something to sop up this blood?" She gave me a 2x2 gauze pad. I swear.

I turned and went to the triage nurse and demanded something to put on my wound. I did get a bigger pad and a towel, but I still had to wait. 2 hours.

At least the bleeding stopped by then and I finally got stitched up.


someone said shoes?

Punkin...wowsa! Good thing the "girls" were there to protect you.

Annie and Mr. Completely emailed me to inform me of my famousness. I wasn't tryin' to get famous. Honest. Just doin' my part to make the world a bra-free zone.

And all "humanity" thanks you.

Amen, sister.

If it *is* Land of the Lost, this is going to be the first time you used a show I never watched, Mr. "Who Needs Twin Peaks Anyway?" Now, if it was Land of the *Giants* ...

Please don't tell me the guy in a mask at some point will say: "Jack, I am your father!!!"

No, Thundrax, they already did that one on the regular show.

I know, he is assumed dead in the last season... but is he?

The comments to this entry are closed.

Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise