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September 28, 2007


Tom is the first one they'd come for.

(Thanks to BillyJoeJimBob)

In Other Tom Cruise News: We have this breaking development.

(Thanks to Rayne)

This has been your Tom Cruise News Roundup.


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Gee, thanks for nothing- at least as far as I'm concerned...

How can someone make that much money and be dumber than dirt?

"The silence was filmed and now Cruise and the producers will go through the footage to identify the culprit, who is likely to be fired."

what will they be looking for... steam? a flapping skirt?

It was the dog, I swear!

but ... but ... but ...

If TC is a Scientology Theta (which one would assume), then doesn't that mean that he IS actually an alien on earth and that he would WANT the aliens to come and deliver us?

It's so hard to keep up

"Tom plays German hero Colonel Claus Graf Schenk von Stauffenberg in the wartime thriller..."

I hear nussing.....wait! Who had the sauerkraut?

He who smelt it ...

If he ever gets wind of who did this....

Actually this is a positive development. We just have to convince Tom that the invasion has begun and he'll lock himself up in his bunker so we won't have to see and hear him any more.

Someone thought he said, "a moment of slient but deadly".

oh, and LOL @ Sean...

He just makes it too damned easy.

:remembers when she thought Top Gun was the sexiest thing evah:


It looks to me like Tom has disguised the "bunker" to look like a tennis court. Very clever for an idiot.

Cruise missle incoming!

Downwind über alles.

I can't believe I just misspelled missile.

"If he ever gets wind of who did this...."

Yes, good one, Sean. "The answer, my friend..."

It's a good thing he has a Telluride estate. Tellurium really blocks those alien death rays.

Ich bin ein looniebinner.

This doesn't even come close to passing the Who Cares Test.

"It looks to me like Tom has disguised the 'bunker' to look like a tennis court."

What if Xenu plays tennis? Ever think of that, Tom?

(lol all o'youse).

I didn't do it, but spent a lot of time looking for the real killers farters. No one makes fun of me; why do you make fun of Tom?

Wait a minute: I thought they dropped him off here in the first place...

I, for one, welcome our new psychopathic overlords.

More evidence of the influence of the Colorado Stupidity Magnet.

Gassassin. What a great word!

*awards Stevie a Blogthread Achievement Snork (BAS)*

*wonders if you can get DNA from a f-a-r-t*

I think it was PJ O'rourke who once said that in Germany, f@rting is considered a compliment, and considering what they eat they'd be totally out of luck if it wasn't.

I suppose they'll be looking at the film to see who is smirking &/or giggling around the one individual who isn't... .

I, for one, hope he gets to the bottom of it!

It's well documented that farting causes a ripple in the space/time continuum. Texas Instruments have developed a ripple detector, it's available at Radio Shack for $19,95. Someone should tell Tom.

Major snorkage

Isn't Xenu the one the Scientologists revere? Why, then, a bunker to defend himself from his Ultimate Ruler Godlike Deity? I'm confused.

What did he do now, to upset Xenu? And is Xenu the name of his ex-pet gerbil?

Why wait. Lets ship Tom to Mars today!

He is already there:
Tom's Nuts

According to American magazine Star, a source said: "Tom is planning to build a US$10 million bunker under his Telluride estate. It's a self-contained underground shelter with a high tech air purifying shelter."

Nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...

Its still a fledgling science, but if they have audio of the fart, they can do fart sound analysis. Now all they have to do is feed everyone beans and... never mind.

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