« Previous | Main | Next »

September 07, 2007

IF THIS BLOG WERE NOT ALREADY RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

...we would definitely be working to elect Lee L. Mercer Jr., because of his position on Current Issues.

(Thanks to Memepool)

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

He is perfect. If he doesnt make sense then you must elect.

Besides he wouldnt be the FIRST lunatic to be president.

Well, he makes as much sense as any of the candidates.

(Other than His Daveness, of course, who makes nonsense - and does a glorious job of it.)

Was this website written by Nigerians wanting us to help them get money?

All your votes are belong to us?

But he wrote it's instead of its. I just can't vote for him now. Nope.

LOL, Mr. Mercer! Brilliant website!

Oh, wait - you WEREN'T being funny? Oh.

Another argument for putting Haldol in the drinking water.

Put the country back to work building roads...I mean criminal law...! The rest of what he said I understand perfectly.

lilrascal - that's what frightens me about you. ;-P

I would love to hear him speak.

Key Quote:

"There is some concern about the U.S. Government Religions enforcements. I will enforce the U.S. Government Religions enforcement regulating its enforcements itself with its regulations pertaining to itself and according to its enforcements."

this guy is a shoe-in.

I'll bet he sounds pretty darned much exactly like he reads....

as in - open mouth, stick a shoe-in, mud?

Also is it just me or does he look like Ving Rhames. Also does this mean if we dont vote for him, he will get medevil on our asses?

No 'Great Communicator' tag for him...'Indistinguishable Lee'.

i have been sitting her for some time now trying configure a meaningful contribution to this discussion that would both contribute in a substantive and meaningful fashion to the dialoue that contributes meaningfully to the configuration of substantive and meaningful discourse. but of course, i stopped.

"Tear down this...barnyard fence."

Hey, at least this guy is extremely consistent in his "positions". Apparently the thinking that went into them was along the lines of "Ok, here's the template. Let's fill the blanks with ... "Religions"; ok, that one's done. Let's fill the blanks with ... "Environment"; done. Let's ..."

Policy-making via (dumb) software. Gotta love it.

Has anyone read his reasons for running?

#49
49. To Prove the United States Government killed my sex life, my wife sex life, my daughter-in –laws sex life both may sons and other of my family members sex life with Espionage Experimentation and Espionage Exploitation sex killing.

He writes with exactly the same phrasings my ten-year-old autistic son uses. (This is not a criticism per se.) It's seriously spooky.

Hmmmm. After reading a news item about George W. saying in his speech that he was attending the OPEC conference instead of the APEC conference, and visiting Austria instead of Austrailia, I wonder whether or not we would really notice any difference if you elected this guy.

Also #56

56. To Prove Jeb Bush is all in my house with disease.

I thought, at first, surely he is jesting, but have come to the conclusion, he is just a major dumbass.

*Borrows El's zipper to zip in with a Rugby World Cup update*.

Major upset, Argentina beat France 17 points to 12 in the opening game.

*Zips out*

I am sorry but I cant help myself.
#70

70. RELIGION PROGRAM TO WORK AMERICA. The program has solved everything in the world such as 1. All the crime 2. The lack of world peace 3. All the poverty 4. All communications 5. All prejudice 6. All phenomenons guaranteed to be true by the United States Army. This is a U.S. Army FBI ROTC religion program. This made all of my Doctor’s degrees.

Also he is currently endorsed by Ann Richards.

Thanks, Mot. Interesting.....

If, by some remote chance, this guy is actually elected, then I'll be moving to Canada.

BRILLIANT!!

Dave, since you will be winning this election, you should offer him the VP position or Secretary of Redundancy.

I am the third son of four sons from that matrimonial union. My mother had an additional son and daughter.

"...that would make a total of ..lesee...add the 2 and carry the...uh...more than they started with."

I hadn't realized that Fisher-Price® was offering online Ph.D.s these days. Then I read his material.

Med, tomorrow it's New Zealand against Italy, that should be one-way traffic.

As far as this thread goes, I thought Africa had cornered the market on people with political aspirations who consistantly murdered the English language but it appears the US is way ahead of us in this as well.

. The United States Federal Congress has encouraged me to want to become President of the United States so that I can do what the President of the United States of America is supposed to do and complete the federal and military government biography and autobiography...

So...he's a writer too?? rut roh! watch out, Dave.

He could just proclaim himself as the true "Manchurian Candidate" and probably win on the name recognition alone....

Unless the voters actually saw the movie.

Former Minnesota Vikings coach Dennis Green and Mr. Mercer would get on famously. One of my favorite Denny quotes is "Nobody plays like we play when we play like we play." Honestly. I kind of miss him; at least we had him to make the games interesting.

I kinda like this one:

25. To Prove I will be the 2nd Negro President of the United States of America in 2008 in my Business Commerce Intelligence National and International.

Whut?

This guy couldn't even make it as the president of the Ebonics Association.

*ducks, runs like HELL*

I am proud to say that I was born a Negro American Citizen...

Why do I keep thinking of Steve Martin's The Jerk - "I was born, a poor black child...".??

*snork*

There is some concern about the war in Iraq. I know of U.S. government evidence that the war in Iraq is illegal and it can be solved through me representing the United States Government with a peace treaty. I know there are notations in my ROTC Biography of a guarantee from Iraq through me for peace to the war in Iraq and that Mr. Hussein is innocent of his charges...and I plan to tell him once I become President.

*stunned silence* Wow.

Let me check...no, I'm not on drugs. Maybe if I was, I would understand that.

*switches to Democrat JUST to vote for this dude*

too friggin funny!!

Now we know what Miss Teen South Carolina did on her summer vaction; write this guy's website.

[ps: I think this is a hoax. There was a Lee Mercer in the SBA but not this guy]

When America sneezes the rest of the world catches a cold, what scares us non Americans shitless is that we have no control over who you guys over there elect into office. George W is a prime example.

He's too modest. I understand he also invented the internet.

All I could think was that this must be some kind of code. Unfortunately, I am too tired to try to solve it at this time. Besides, all it will say is, "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."

Nice metaphor, Mot. But as you well-know, it is extremely difficult to read through the BS, or in the case of this thread, make any sense of the candidates..... much less know or predict with accuracy how they will handle the job. George W is a prime example.

Maybe we should hook the Presidential candidates up to stress-test (lie detector) monitors during the debates. Now that would be some reality TV worth watching!

46. To Prove Governor William Perry is killing me and my family very seriously said the Texas Congress 3-28-07 10:36 p.m. I have denotate Governor William Perry as a perpetrator into Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence and Prarie View A& M University for Killing, Espionage, Sabotage and other crimes.

---------------------------
(The TX Gov is RICK Perry)
but if you're being killed very seriously, I guess that's worse than comedically?

Well Siouxie he has been talking with Ann Richards why wouldnt he also talk with Sadam. I also bet he chats on the phone with Elvis, Jim Morrison, JFK and Lord Xenu.

LOL, licorice!! Do you have Ralphie's decoder ring?!

To prove that you need to pay the American Citizens before I die.

Ok..now we're getting somewhere..

And PS - William "The Refrigerator" Perry was a HELL of a defensive lineman for the Bears!!

Hey I am already getting $100 from Apple, but I am willing to get some more.

It's fast approaching the witching hour so I'll say good nitol.

Happy Nyquil to you Mot.

Niters, Mot! Sleep well. It was good playing with you today!

In honor of Candidate(?) Mercer and Gov. Rick ("Just Call Me William") Perry:

I heard he gave a good talk, I heard he had a style.
And so I came to see him to listen for a while.
And there he was, this governor, a stranger to my eyes:

Causing my pain, that right-winger
Wrecking my life with his words,
Killing me seriously, for so long,
Killing me seriously, he’s so wrong
Ruining my sex life with his words,
Killing me seriously all day long...

licorce: nicely Christmas Story tie-in.

It also made me think of Blazing Saddles: "Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, but it expressed a courage that is little seen in this day and age."

Another hit rocketing to top by JD.

*snork* @ Jeff for Blazing Saddles. Such a great movie--Cleavon Little was amazingly funny.

Jazzzzie! Thanks--LTNS! How's it going?

I have solved every crime in America and the world for the last 15 years dating back to before Christ.

REMEMBER A GANGSTER IS A TERRORIST. THE BUSHS ARE GANGSTERS.

Lily Tomlin: "Is this happening or is it the hash?"

51. To Prove to you citizens you do not know what and how I am suppose to do for you and what and how I am suppose to do for the United States of America’s Government National and International.

I'd have to say he's right on this one.

As a part of my continuing eduaction,

Don't that just say it all?

snork snork snork! And I quote from his site:
The continuation of my biography background experience, graduate education and political experience is being held because of a Lack of authorities debriefing funds and interest for their liability to me.

I am in a stalled police debriefing with the Houston Police Department waiting for me to sue to complete my debriefing for my background biography with them in the United States Army Military Intelligence Academy Camp Bullis San Antonio, Texas The University of Texas ROTC to West Point Military Academy U.S. Navy doctorate degree in Police Science.

You just can't make this stuff up! *Falls outta chair laughing*

Aww man...the Chinese Spammer strikes again.

Go away li'l spammer!
Anyway, this guy's website is proof that you shouldn't use Babelfish to translate Martian.

Siouxie, get out the machete!

as you wish, Ducky!! (btw...loved the song!)

*gets the machete*

chop suey anyone????

As a part of my continuing eduaction,

Don't that just say it all?

Posted by: Mr Death | 07:17 PM on September 7, 2007

Mr D, I believe the candidate was thinking about the Rolling Stones.


I can't get no ed-u-action, I can't get no ed-u-action
'Cause they lie, and they lie, and they lie, and they lie
I can't get no, I can't get no

When I'm writin’ my concerns, and the man come say to me, “Lee, yo!”
He's tellin' me more and more about how I should run the nation
Enclosed I’ll find a big donation

I can't get no. Oh, no, no, no. Hey, hey, hey
That's what I say
I can't get no ed-u-action, I can't get no ed-u-action
'Cause they spy, and they spy, and they spy, and they spy
I can't get no, I can't get no

When I'm in ROTC, and the man comes in and tell me
How right my captain be
But, he can't be the man 'cause he doesn't know
The same government as me

I can't get no. Oh, no, no, no. Hey, hey, hey
That's what I say
I can't get no ed-u-action, I can't get no ed-u-action
'Cause they’re sly, and they’re sly, and they’re sly, and they’re sly
I can't get no, I can't get no

When they’re spyin’ round the world
And I'm provin' this in my tinfoil hat
And I'm tryin' to win this race, you tell me
Lee, you better come back, maybe retreat
'Cause that guy, Dave Barry, has you beat
I can't get no. Oh, no, no, no. Hey, hey, hey
That's what I say. I can't get no, I can't get no

I can't get no ed-u-action, no ed-u-action
No ed-u-action, no ed-u-action.

OK, test post after 3 hours of installing Office and updates.

But I arrived for the Stones!!

(let's see if this dang thing woiks)

Well, in this case I'd have to say our friendly neighborhood spammer's gibberish fits right in.

Covered all the usual Chinese spammers' bases, didn't he? All except (dare I say it?) the shoes.

You are coming in 5x5, CJ.

Mr. Mercer, OTOH, more like 2x4. As in, it seems his cranium collided with one.

Yay, CJ! I feel your pain.

Apropos of which, thanks for your help with my wireless issues a while back. The router eventually went south in such an odd way it took me a while to convince support that it was in fact the problem (as opposed to 2 of my 3 systems flaking out simultaneously). But they sent me a new one, and all's been fine since.

*snork* at "2x4".

OT, semi interesying\

I'm surfing on an aircard with Shmerizon (have for awhile), but now using IE 7 instead of FireFox. The latest version of IE is kicking bootay compared to FF. My aircard never worked properly when I first tried IE 7.

I have three separate websites opened and very nice speed/no clunkiness. If anybody else seems to be having FF clunkiness, maybe check out the latest IE updates.

End OT\

TY, RWH.

"Cranium Collision" WBAGNF the feeling in my skull after reading his "stuff".

It's the kind of stuff that once you start reading you almost can't stop.

Real or not, does it matter? As long as it entertains the blog, is there a higher achievement?

I think not.

Thank you, Mr. Metcalf.

OT, but just plain funny\

I'm running a half-way house for unreconstructed hippies, having my older brother stay with me awhile as I drag him into the 21st century. He got a Mac, but I figured it out. He now understands how to use it and how to use the internet. I carried my laptop into his part of the house to show him what I could now do with IE 7, but he was busy... with his camera cellphone and his digital camera aimed at his Mac screen. Yes, that's two hands. He had the Mac camera set to capture him and the other two images (phone, camera screens), but no way left to click on the Mac to take the picture.

He was trying to bring a foot around and click with a toe.

I have created a monster. I think my work is done here.

Nice job, CJ. Good to see you're prepping for the hunt..... there will be many monster-creating opps. Are you crashing at Sioux's? Can't wait to meet you in person!

You gotta feel for the guy: look at how many times his mother has died.

"67. To Prove these perpetrators are trying to stop me from running for President of The United States. They are Vice-President Dick Chenny, Former Vice-President Al Gore and their Assessors. They keep killing my mother and our family the evidence is on my mother’s and our Criminal Intelligence Electronic Surveillance Health Recorder. I do not want these perpetrators to kill my Mother."

But at least it's a *bi-partisan* effort to keep killing his mother...

Well, thank goodness both parties can agree and unite on a serious "issue".

Med, the only time I ever gambled, I put a ten-cent piece into a slot machine in Jamaica when I was a boy. I got a jackpot and decided I would never get that far ahead again.

I did a treasure hunt, once. Early in college I had joined a fraternity (DU) that doesn't haze; they required that pledges complete a Hunt.

We had to do many things, including getting a picture of us mooning in public. I talked my fellow pledges into building a pyramid of all of us, in front of the busiest street in the city, on the front steps of the university administration building. At noon. Without pants.

After a day of that and a night of celebrating, some of the guys that became our fraternity brothers that night, told us that our submission for the treasure hunt had been the best they had ever seen (!), maybe the best in history of the second-oldest Greek house. We won!

I am hoping to get a slot like Sio, working near a booth, or something, and cooking. If I stay at Sio's, the only practical thing is to ride the Metro in, not very conducive to feeding the troops. If I think there is any chance of parking in downtown, I want to pass out brochures (or whatever), cook, and be a spectator.

If I think I can park somewhere, I want to be on the east side (opposite of Sio or EC) at the beach and just cross a bridge into downtown. If that proves impractical, I would love to crash at Sio's, on the patio, where y'all can pile couch cushions up the sliding-glass door to protect you from my snoring! I'll be more amused if I'm allowed to cook, downtown or at Sio's.

There is some concern about the Dave Barry weblog enforcements. I will enforce the Dave Barry weblog Regulating its enforcements itself with its regulations pertaining to itself and according to its enforcements.

Thanks, Lee. I'm so relieved. Gumball?

*snork*@ Lee!

I like William Perry as Governor. Remember "The Refrigerator" from his NFL glory days, anyone?
Here in Kalifornia, we have Ah-nold, the Gropinator. Which one is worse?

The Govenator at least amassed a fortune by looking tough and firing off blanks on a set. Rick Perry shoots blanks on a set looking tough...then he's elected again and starts being a prima donna. Oh, and TCU over Texas later today. Trust me on this. (prepares exit strategy posting in case of emergency.)

The Govenator at least amassed a fortune by looking tough and firing off blanks on a set. Rick Perry shoots blanks on a set looking tough...then he's elected again and starts being a prima donna. Oh, and TCU over Texas later today. Trust me on this. (prepares exit strategy posting in case of emergency.)

Dang Bot! PHHHTTTTT!!!!

"Even when I was little, I was big."

Now that'sa quote.

The Fridge

Mr Mercer... would those weblog enforcements be National and International?

(all three)

Excellent, Ducky.

Mercer has it all wrong. He should be running for Secretary of Defense. He can confuse our enemies into submission.

Anyone remember "Being There" with Peter Sellers?

I wasn't there. That's my story, blahblahblah. You can't prove anything...........Oh!!!! You mean the movie???..............no

Guin, I kinda remember "Being There". Very funny movie!

I think John Lennon said it better than Mr. Metcalf ever could.

Goo goo ga joob!

very good, Jeff

Mornin'Mr. Jazzzzzzzzie!!

1 2 »

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise