ANOTHER VICTORY FOR THE DARK SIDE

This blog considered Gene Weingarten a friend. Until yesterday. Yesterday, on his Washington Post chat, he posted this photo:

This is a cute li'l baby squirrel Gene found on his neighbor's walkway. Gene of course rescued it and gave it a cute li'l baby-squirrel name, Cholmondeley (pronounced 'Chumley," says Gene).  (I will pause here while you vomit.) Gene gave the squirrel to Animal Rescue. It's a touching story, except that of course THE WHOLE THING WAS A SETUP BY THE SQUIRRELS. Is Gene such a moron that he believes this is all a coincidence? Does he think there just happened to be a cute li'l baby squirrel on the walkway next to the house of a Washington Post columnist desperate for material? Does Gene does not realize that he has played right into the paws of the little furred bastards, who, while he gives them cute li'l names, are working to destroy our way of life, not to mention attacking our law-enforcement officers and our children?

Thanks, Gene. Thanks a lot. This blog can't wait to see what you "happen" to find on your neighbor's walkway tomorrow.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Comments

[Eleanor]

I *heart* Gene Weingarten. ;)

[AmerInParis]

Gene's right -- the Brits pronounce it Chumley -- and it's soooooo cute! How dare you compare it to what's-his-name? ;-))))

[SW]

There are no squirrels in Iran. We do not have this squirrel problem like you in America.

[Betsy]

I'm sorry about the downfall of western civilization and all, but my first reaction is still, "Awwwwwwwwwwww!"

[Eleanor]

Is the squirrel dead? Looks dead to me...
Signed,
City Girl

[fivver]

And why is Gene still hanging out on his neighbor's walkway? Didn't they get a restraining order?

[AmerInParis]

"There are no squirrels in Iran. We do not have this squirrel problem like you in America."

Ooooh, nice one, SW! I've been fumming over that little comment of his since yesterday.

[SW]

Je ne comprends pas... what izz zees "fumming" of which you speek? Somesing you do in a smoker?

[daisymae]

Power outages, no squirrels in Iran, squirrels lying on driveways...where will it stop, I ask you?

(cute littel buggger, wasn't 'e?)

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Solution to the HATR problem. The young ones are more tender.

[Siouxie]

El, I'm with ya. It looks dead. Cute, but dead.

[padraig]

That squirrel's a mole.

[Mot the Hoople]

It's in times of crisis (like this) that one finds out who your true friends are.

[Eleanor]

private message to Siouxie, did you get my 2 e-mails the SECOND TIME??

Oops, I forgot something.

*zips in nunc pro tunc to 9:28a.m.*™

[?]

Cowlitz PUD ?

[crossgirl]

how could anyone resist? who wants to bet that one day sophie will rescue one?

[Siouxie]

El, got 'em!

[Punkin Poo]

*sends Siouxie & El to detention for passing notes*

[Boo Augustus]

All I know is that the squirrels are going at it like rabbits all around my place. Suddenly my yard has become a regular Sodom and Gamorrah for the little freaks. (Do you ever hear about Gamorrah without reference to Sodom? Seems kinda of unfair that Sodom gets all the press. What about the poor Gamorrahian?).

[Annie, In Charge of the Entire West Coast]

For such a cute furry beast, he's sure got some nasty sultana-tearing claws.
Me like. :)

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

how could anyone resist?

Posted by: crossgirl | 10:04 AM
-----------------
"You will be assimilated.

[Ken in Jax]

This squirel is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, He rests in peace! His metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-SQUIREL!!

[queensbee]

baby anythings are cute. its cute. but squirrels are rats with big furry tails. the power outages they cause when they get stuck in the transformer thing is surely worth their destruction. but then, they're G-d's creatures...awwww. what was HE thinking? or maybe it's Noah's fault for letting them in the ark. maybe they snuck in. hmmm. if we dont stop them, we will be overrun. help stamp out rampant squirrels.

[Wench Lizzy]

Awe, Gene is a sweet....um, stupid evil man!

[Wench Lizzy]

Yeah, they don't have a squirrel problem in Iran, but they do have a preference for goats.

[Nookee]

I've heard that some farmers get Cowlitz PUDs. I think they have to take Penicillin for it, so it stops burning when they pee.

[igloo]

I think the message is clear. Gene sleeps with the squirrels.

[Eleanor]

Sheesh, Punkin, that's a little harsh, doncha think? Or do you just want to be included? *giggles*

[Wench Lizzy]

I bet Gene would never name the next one, "Dave", since he is such a sweet, sensitive, caring man!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Ken, he's not dead, he's resting.

I bet Gene won't think it's so cute when his dad comes round tomorrow.

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

That picture is creepy....

When we were coming back from lunch yesterday, we saw a squirrel standing on its hind legs looking at something inside the back bumper of a car. When it saw us, it took off. I personally think it was looking for a place to hide illegal immigrant squirrels.

Anyway, we went looking for it, and it was laying on its stomach EXACTLY LIKE THAT PICTURE ABOVE on one of the concrete barriers in the parking garage.

Coincidence? I don't think so. I think this is a new squirrel tactic to make it look like they're just lounging around, with not a care in the world - until they pounce into action and take over.

[SpecialNobodie]

Um...Dave, if you're maligning Gene for writing about squirrels due to a dearth of material, what does that say about you? You're actually writing about someone writing about squirrels. Isn't that a tad hypocritical coming from a candidate for president? Oh...wait. Scratch that last bit.

Regardless, I think you might be a plant from the squirrel legions. I fear for my children. Except I don't have any, so I guess that's okay. :)

[SpecialNobodie]

Why is it that when you press the "Preview" button, you're shown another page with yet another "Preview" button. It's a good thing I'm not obsessive-compulsive, or I might slowly starve while repeatedly trying to preview my previewed preview.

[wickedwitch]

awwwwwwwwwwwww, such a cute widdle thing. how could you for one second think that he could be part of any conspiracy?

[Cholmondeley]

heh heh... I think some of them are buyin' the cute routine... exxxxcellent.

[Annie Where-but-here]

SpecialNobodie - YOU are writing about someone who is writing about someone who is writing about a squirrel. Thanks for not having children.

[Not My Usual Alias]

I would say that putting the critter on top of his column could be one of the following:
1. Very good product placement to encourage folks to say "awwwww" and associate the emotion with his column
2. An upgrade from the bottom of the birdcage
3. Part of a subliminal message intended to get more exposure for VPLs.
4. A way to get the goat of his friend without having to schedule a Weinermobile experience

Great marketing...

[sthnbelle]

And this after you judged his humor contest for him - that's gratitude for you!

[Betsy]

Steve...
Your post reminded me of the story a friend of mine told me a few weeks ago: she was waiting for a cab (here in Chicago) when a squirrel scampered up, sat and looked at her for a minute, and then flattened his furry self on the pavement. She said, "He looked like a pelt...like he was playing dead...EXCEPT HE KEPT RAISING HIS HEAD AND LOOKING AROUND...checking to see if his performance was convincing."

I forget where you live, but if it's the west coast, we have a StealthSquirrel crisis of national proportions!

[SpecialNobodie]

Annie, YOU are writing about someone who is writing about someone...blah, blah, blah. We could go on like this for days. :) And perhaps you missed my invisible smiley after my first paragraph? I've blurked here for long enough to know I'm not going to win a battle of wits with you folks.

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Betsy, I live in the midwest. We have a lot of squirrels around here. They might even manufacture them here. I'm not sure. I'm afraid to find out.

But I agree... There's more to this story than meets the eye.

I saw another one do this on a branch of a tree when I was on my way to lunch today. I looked right at it, and it had that "oh oh, he knows" look on its face, and ran off. Probably to tell the others.

[Betsy]

Steve...
Definitely time to *cue Twilight Zone theme*

(And they definitely 'manufacture' them in the Midwest -- I can see out my window to the roof next door, and watch the production lines start rollin' in the spring.)

[Annie Where-but-here]

SN- you are correct....and so on and so on... ad rodentia.... :)

[Eleanor]

Well Annie, SN conceded, so that makes him/her OK in my book. :)

[aaron]

looks like good eating

[!]

Why is it that when you press the "Preview" button, you're shown another page with yet another "Preview" button. It's a good thing I'm not obsessive-compulsive, or I might slowly starve while repeatedly trying to preview my previewed preview.?????

In case you want to fix it and check again.

[Austizle]

what the f**k kind of magazine does this guy read?