« Previous | Main | Next »

September 24, 2007


Once upon a time, there was a baby. His daddy wrote a column about the baby finding really disgusting things on the floor and putting them in his mouth. The daddy suggested stockpiling semi-disgusting things to use in trade, to get the really disgusting things away from the baby. This made the s.b. laugh and laugh, and write down the daddy's name in case he ever wrote something else funny like that.

The years go by. The daddy writes more funny stuff about the boy playing with He-Man toys, the boy and his diplodocus, his first day of school, and his experiences with Little League, helium, helicopters, middle-school parties and, of course, the weinermobile. The s.b. laughs.

Then one day, all of a sudden, the boy is teaching a class at the Miami Herald. About a program he wrote. It's a very useful program that lets us put stuff on a map.

But it is definitely not funny. Not funny at all.


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

YAY Rob!!!

awwwww they sure grow up quickly.

I had to tell my kids who The Beatles were....

(where's my walker?)

the boy playing with his diplodocus,

I hope you told him it is a normal and healthy part of growing up.

And geezerhood. Blurk told me.

of course that was poignant. definitely poignant.

*packs up the Depends™ and Geritol™ and climbs onboard*

*SNORK* @ fivver!

No walkers for me. I want one of those things you ride around on.

So, this program is the Herald's version of "Where in the World is Dave Barry"???

i remember the diplodocus, and the carnivore at the beach frightening german tourists. i remember the bicycle accident and death killer of doom taking a plastic laser gun in the eye. i remember it all and it's not funny cause it happened to me too.

not funny at all.

Sounds like it. Just don't call him Carmen by mistake. He doesn't like it. cg told me.

Rob sure has aged. But I like his do-rag.

Annie?? that's not Dave?


I couldn't get the thing to work at all, so I don't even get what I don't even get. I'm applying for the Geezer Bus (What's Left of My) Lifetime EZ Pass.

AARP ('scuse me).

Hey, thre are only two pins in the whole map (I zoomed out to a global view). The Blog must not be strumpeting very hard. Of course, cheerleaders might help him strumpet harder.

... um ... I obviously missed part of that ... (screen & dealie, but nuthin' happens ... sorta like my ... um ... nevermind ...)

Must be becuz I'm old ...

Or did I mention that already?

Ooops, make that three pins.

*fumbles around looking for reading glasses*

*tries to remember where he left the geezer bus and if the left turn signal was still on*

Duh, Jeff. Of course it was on. It's been stuck in that position for months.

Random, I was thunking the same thing. Perhaps Dave just doesn't care anymore.

OMG, Rob invented MapQuest! (An excellent thing to mention when he runs for President in a few years.)

Congratulations on your cool map!

If you click on the 'hybrid' map, you save energy.

No matter how old Dave gets, he's still with the blue shirts/sweaters! Some things just never change.

Sure Annie, click on the hybrid and save energy. It's that kind of thinking like that is driving the ever-growing smug problem

Dave's kid wrote Google?

How can I get my reading glasses to speak up so I can hear them?

random - i thought you meant Smaug.

okay, i changed it, since the 4:10 interview is now over, which makes it easier to see the events tomorrow ;)

Smug, Smaug, Smush.

I'm still not seeing it. Is it supposed to be something Dave's son did? It still goes to the map.

shhhhhhhhh!! Rob's in the Defense Intelligence Agency...very hush hush top secret program.

Does the boy in question still inform his father that he (the father) shouldn't say the "s-word?"


Whut map?

Wow, fiv! I haven't seen that in AGES!! I remember seeing that years ago on actual film somewhere. Oh, man....

... um ... so ... it's a download ... then it's incomprehensible computer gibberish ... considerin' that this is sumhow related to "National Defense" ... why am I not surprised?

DD, sometimes I'm absolutely terrified amazed at what comes floating out of my brain.

BTW, G$ has a 'Women of Ninja Warrior' marathon on!

well, maybe you already know how to do that, wench lizzy, but i didn't know how to create a map with things on it that i tell it to put there, and have it be online.... rob wrote a program that allows us to do this. and i thought it was pretty cool. sorry!

I have no idea what Rob did, but kudos to him just for growing up. Now, can his Dad? We hope not.

Oh, NOW I know what he did. Very smart guy. And cute, too. (Said the very dirty minded old lady)


Oh, man, fiv - I won't be home until almost Jack-time tonight, either!!! POO (not Punkin)!!!

Personally, I LOVE how your mind works. :-)

judi, I'm assuming this is just for The Herald, right? Now we can follow Dave's Strumpeting Tour on the map! it's way cool.

yeah, i did a bigger one for the next book tour but i'm not blogging it til this one is over! ;)

btw?? did he ever mention the plantation event this morning?? lol

you're gonna have to start sticking post-it notes on his forehead.

yeah, i did a bigger one for the next book tour but i'm not blogging it til this one is over! ;)

Oh come on judi. Please Please blog it now. Just this once. Pleaaaaaase?

Oh, he did the map! Sorry, that completely went over my head, lol! Very nice. Being the son of Dave Barry, I was expecting some video game where squirrels get offed in the most inhumane ways. My bad!

Can someone help me find the Iraq and the Asian countries?

I'm only getting the map, too. :(

Ubetcha - Apparently, from what I've a$$ertained, Rob built these really huge push pins that Google can see from space, and stuck them in random parts of Florida.

Performance art, I think.

SW is having trouble with his continence.

It's one thing to write a propellerhead progam. It's quite another, wayyyy tougher thing to translate that program so that 'normal' people can use it. Kudos to Rob!

Hey, Rob, next map, instead of pushpins, can you use boogers? Just a thought.

Rob wrote a program so he can keep track of his Dad?

Is that so he can calculate when to end the house party to start cleaning up after Dad's been away away strumpeting?

lol Punkin!

Bet they're hell to switch.

GDPS - Global Dave Positioning System


Yay, Rob! And many snorks to all!

For the Amazing Steve, from way up there:

Mr. Steve, you’ve got a lovely walker
Chrome looks sharp; it goes with your gray hair
But it’s sad; you can’t pop wheelies now
Nurse made it clear enough: all wheels stay on the floor

Walkin’ about, talkin’ oh, so loud, well
No need to shout, we know you feel so proud

If Nurse thinks that you’ve been laying rubber
Peeling down the hall when you go sup
Don’t let on you overturned her cart
She'll bring you to your knees, and you’ll never get up

Mr. Steve, you’ve got a lovely walker
Mr. Steve, you’ve got a lovely walker
Mr. Steve, you’ve got a lovely walker

It's one thing to write a propellerhead progam. It's quite another, wayyyy tougher thing to translate that program so that 'normal' people can use it. Kudos to Rob!

(Posted by Annie ... sumwhere up above there ...)

So ... Annie ... whut yer sayin' is ... becuz I can't use it ... I'm not 'normal' ... eh?

(I know ... if the Hsu Fitz ...)

"SW is having trouble with his continence."

Watch it, aw. I hear you put the 'tart' in Antartica.

sw - you just say that so I'll correct your spelling of Antarctica. But I did put the 'f-u' in 'fun.' Once.

Pins a Merit Badge on Annie for "Spelling Proficiency and Adaptabilityoscitynessism, along with Superb Punnability"

Whoopie, so Annie can spell. *hrmph, hair flip*

I have ginormous tatas.

*not that I'm competitive in ANY way*

*bOOb flash*

Punkin - you'd put an 'I' out with those things.


The loaded tatas thread is back there.

<----that way.

*back to Dancing with the has-been never been wish they would have been Stars*

one two cha cha cha

That's a really BIG wiener! It took a long time to come up.

Siouxie, you put the "ha ha ha" in "cha cha cha." :-)

*snorksnork* @ Moon! (for the double entendre, you know)



can't wait for my boys to grow up enough to be useful like dave's!

Moon - speak for yourself. Took me no time at all to get it up to speed.

Annie, you must have really good batteries...just sayin' ;-P

The weinermobile is a hybrid? Like with batteries and tofu? Izzat what you mean, Siouxie?

um..yeah...that's exactly what I mean, Annie.


OMG! This is what sons do.... orienteering and computer geekage. I survived a 5 point argument on "Why I need my own hand-held GPS unit," tonight.

Please do not tell him about tofu/hybrid weiners. ;-)

Well, peeps...I'm outta here. Gotta get my beautimous sleep before meeting up with ec and his Daveness tomorrow.

Hasta tomorrow!!!

pssst - Med - if you have to give in on that, get him the cell phone with the built-in gps locater in it. That way at least you know where he is, or where the phone is when he loses it.
-Hints from Hell-wheeze

LOL, Annie. You have asthma?

Yeah, I actually knew his cell phone is hooked into the matrix. He never carries it though.....

Come to think of it, the cell phone will be the tell tale sign of GF status. When he starts sleeping with it, I'll know.

Just like his Dad. Humph. ;-)

Aaagh! Thank goodness for family-plan phone bills and reverse look-up phone #'s.

Can we legally put a locator device under their skin yet, like we can do with our pets? It'd only sting for a second.

*Finally arrives with HUGE number of medals to pin in Punkin' Poo ... it was a long and difficult trek to haul all those HEAVY items this far ...*

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.


Post a comment

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)

Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise