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August 24, 2007

ADVISORY TO LONGHORNS FANS

Stay out of Oklahoma.

Key Alarming Medical Phrase: "extensive damage to another man's scrotum."

(Thanks to BillyJoeJimBob)

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Advice to anyone, not just Longhorns fans: Stay out of Oklahoma.

Allen Michael Beckett, 53, who is known to mix metaphors, apparently confused "Grab life by the balls" and "Grab your problems by the horns."

Hell with 5 years; I suggest the death penalty.

Dunno, Mitch - 5 years in prison should get the ball-grabbing compulsion out of his system. I think some aspects of the golden rule apply on the inside.

Newest item on list of things I never want to experience: Hearing my scrotum tear.

oh, dear lord, he could hear it?? i wish that didn't make me think of velcro.

JU

If you tear ir reeeeeal slow, it kinda makes a popping sound. So I've heard. On a few occasions.


Whut?

Super-soaker filled with gasoline and a point of ignition device. Just sayin'.

Advice to anyone, not just Longhorns fans: Stay out of Oklahoma.

Posted by: Steve B | 12:52 PM on August 24, 2007

"ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE AN OREGON DUCK FAN"...
:-)

Now that I've uncovered my crotch, I can type again.

Maybe they can hook this guy up with the lady who set her husband's crotch on fire. A Russian jail might be just the thing for this guy.

Nookee - what typing class did YOU attend?

He's a "touch" typist, if you know what I mean.

Let me be the first to say...OUCH!

Annie, the one-fingered typing class

psssst...after you 'hook 'em' you're sposed to let 'em go!

I can type ok.

I leave the dictation to others, NTTAWWT.

Monkey steals the peach . . .

Geez, I think the key phrase is when he described the sound of his scrotum tearing. He must still hear it in his nightmares. *SHUDDER*

*Snork* at MKJ and Hammie!

Yet another reason to thank God I don't have any balls.

Psssssst Hammie???

*RRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*

*WAVES!!!*

Men are so damn stoopid!

My god, that is a perky newsteam. There is something weirdly disproportionate about the second guys head, though.

Now that's what I call taking one for your team...sheesh!

i am not a man of the male gender and yet, i'm nauseous after reading that. blechblechblech

Yikes. I would say the attacker should be given the thrill of hearing his own package ripping, but as he's from Oklahoma, he was probably born without a set.

It's not Oklahoma, it's those damned OU fans. They have a nasty rep everywhere. GO POKES!

extensive damage to another man's scrotum are words which I never, repeat NEVER, hope to read in another sentence again.

*Mrs. Layzee...what the....GET AWAY FROM THEM....*

And, I must say, as a Pennsylvania Notre Dame fan I'd grab a Penn Stater by the jewels and tear 'em off...but they don't have any

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