ADVISORY TO LONGHORNS FANS
Key Alarming Medical Phrase: "extensive damage to another man's scrotum."
(Thanks to BillyJoeJimBob)
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August 24, 2007
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Advice to anyone, not just Longhorns fans: Stay out of Oklahoma.
Posted by: Steve B | August 24, 2007 at 12:52 PM
Allen Michael Beckett, 53, who is known to mix metaphors, apparently confused "Grab life by the balls" and "Grab your problems by the horns."
Posted by: Brainy Jello | August 24, 2007 at 12:52 PM
Hell with 5 years; I suggest the death penalty.
Posted by: Mitch Connor | August 24, 2007 at 12:53 PM
Dunno, Mitch - 5 years in prison should get the ball-grabbing compulsion out of his system. I think some aspects of the golden rule apply on the inside.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | August 24, 2007 at 12:55 PM
Newest item on list of things I never want to experience: Hearing my scrotum tear.
Posted by: Hammond Rye | August 24, 2007 at 01:03 PM
oh, dear lord, he could hear it?? i wish that didn't make me think of velcro.
JU
Posted by: Johnny Urinalcakes | August 24, 2007 at 01:11 PM
If you tear ir reeeeeal slow, it kinda makes a popping sound. So I've heard. On a few occasions.
Whut?
Posted by: Punkin Poo | August 24, 2007 at 01:15 PM
Super-soaker filled with gasoline and a point of ignition device. Just sayin'.
Posted by: lilrascal | August 24, 2007 at 01:17 PM
Advice to anyone, not just Longhorns fans: Stay out of Oklahoma.
Posted by: Steve B | 12:52 PM on August 24, 2007
"ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE AN OREGON DUCK FAN"...
:-)
Posted by: not*my*real*name | August 24, 2007 at 01:18 PM
Now that I've uncovered my crotch, I can type again.
Maybe they can hook this guy up with the lady who set her husband's crotch on fire. A Russian jail might be just the thing for this guy.
Posted by: Nookee | August 24, 2007 at 01:20 PM
Nookee - what typing class did YOU attend?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | August 24, 2007 at 01:22 PM
He's a "touch" typist, if you know what I mean.
Posted by: bbescuela | August 24, 2007 at 01:28 PM
Let me be the first to say...OUCH!
Posted by: daisymae | August 24, 2007 at 01:28 PM
Annie, the one-fingered typing class
Posted by: Siouxie | August 24, 2007 at 01:29 PM
psssst...after you 'hook 'em' you're sposed to let 'em go!
Posted by: insomniac | August 24, 2007 at 01:31 PM
I can type ok.
I leave the dictation to others, NTTAWWT.
Posted by: Nookee | August 24, 2007 at 01:31 PM
Monkey steals the peach . . .
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | August 24, 2007 at 01:37 PM
Geez, I think the key phrase is when he described the sound of his scrotum tearing. He must still hear it in his nightmares. *SHUDDER*
Posted by: KOW | August 24, 2007 at 01:50 PM
*Snork* at MKJ and Hammie!
Yet another reason to thank God I don't have any balls.
Posted by: ubetcha | August 24, 2007 at 01:52 PM
Psssssst Hammie???
*RRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*
*WAVES!!!*
Posted by: Siouxie | August 24, 2007 at 01:53 PM
Men are so damn stoopid!
Posted by: Suzy Q | August 24, 2007 at 02:35 PM
My god, that is a perky newsteam. There is something weirdly disproportionate about the second guys head, though.
Posted by: Bethie | August 24, 2007 at 02:36 PM
Now that's what I call taking one for your team...sheesh!
Posted by: Laurie | August 24, 2007 at 02:49 PM
i am not a man of the male gender and yet, i'm nauseous after reading that. blechblechblech
Posted by: crossgirl | August 24, 2007 at 02:53 PM
Yikes. I would say the attacker should be given the thrill of hearing his own package ripping, but as he's from Oklahoma, he was probably born without a set.
Posted by: philinTexas | August 24, 2007 at 03:51 PM
It's not Oklahoma, it's those damned OU fans. They have a nasty rep everywhere. GO POKES!
Posted by: baligurl | August 24, 2007 at 05:19 PM
extensive damage to another man's scrotum are words which I never, repeat NEVER, hope to read in another sentence again.
*Mrs. Layzee...what the....GET AWAY FROM THEM....*
Posted by: Layzeeboy | August 24, 2007 at 11:53 PM
And, I must say, as a Pennsylvania Notre Dame fan I'd grab a Penn Stater by the jewels and tear 'em off...but they don't have any
Posted by: Layzeeboy | August 25, 2007 at 12:14 AM