INCREDIBLY STUPID "BOYFRIEND"¹ OF THE DECADE
¹Of a woman who is unclear on the concept
(Thanks, more or less, to Siouxie)
INCREDIBLY STUPID SPOUSE UPDATE, also thanks to Siouxie.
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*Quickly removes all chop sticks from drawers and puts on safety glasses...*
And first?
Posted by: ArcticAl | July 05, 2007 at 04:40 PM
Is it wrong that I'm laughing hysterically?
Posted by: KOW | July 05, 2007 at 04:40 PM
I'd say he was unclear on the concept too, but I'm guessing he didn't see that coming. (She probably snuck up on his bad side...)
Posted by: Clean Hands | July 05, 2007 at 04:40 PM
Wow - a three-way simulfirst. This really is a Thursday, isn't it?
Posted by: Clean Hands | July 05, 2007 at 04:41 PM
Darn! And I missed it!
Posted by: DeskDiva | July 05, 2007 at 04:47 PM
Funny that the contributor and/or poster of this story,
judi/siouxienot mentioning any names, being women, focus on the devotion of the man rather than the nastiness and cruelty of the woman. Isn't it.Posted by: SW | July 05, 2007 at 04:50 PM
So far...
Posted by: Doug-O | July 05, 2007 at 04:51 PM
Well, SW, in their defense, the guy did wait six years after the first chopstick to complain about it. Most fellows I know would have wrapped things up with a call to the police right then.
Yeah, the woman was wicked, but the guy really is a dolt. And now, for a song:
This one goes out to my one-eyed love
This one goes out to the one I left half-blind
A simple poke; a chopstick to the mind...
This one goes out to my one-eyed love
Posted by: Clean Hands | July 05, 2007 at 04:55 PM
sw: wasn't the footnote clear enough for ya? ;)
Posted by: judi | July 05, 2007 at 04:59 PM
Footnote?
*squints with his one injured good eye*
What footnote?
Posted by: ScottMGS | July 05, 2007 at 05:03 PM
HEY Stevie!!
I mean really..."poke my eye out once, shame on you...poke my eye out twice..."
and a *snork* @ CH!
Chinese food anyone?? guys??
*thinking of adding chopsticks to own arsenal* hmmm
Posted by: Siouxie | July 05, 2007 at 05:04 PM
That's the downside of chinese food...poke an eye out...a couple of hours later, you just feel like poking another one...
Posted by: AFKAT | July 05, 2007 at 05:07 PM
Well, love is blind. Eventually.
Posted by: Lairbo | July 05, 2007 at 05:08 PM
LMAO Lairbo! how twueeeee.
I'm sure he was thankful she didn't have a knife at the time. Both times. *chop* *chop*
Posted by: Siouxie | July 05, 2007 at 05:10 PM
Obviously, these people never read the bible. One, it does not say, "If his eye offend thee poke it out." Two, you're supposed to turn your other cheek. Three, you need to consider the speck in your brother's eye, not the chopstick in your other eye.
Posted by: ScottMGS | July 05, 2007 at 05:18 PM
Siouxie, I think the first time would have sufficed (unless he had it reattached).
Posted by: ScottMGS | July 05, 2007 at 05:19 PM
... or if he was playing the pepperoni gag. Then he would have deserved it.
Posted by: ScottMGS | July 05, 2007 at 05:20 PM
*zips in*™
I love this woman! The worst thing I ever did was *almost* run over my now ex-husband with a VW Bug in the middle of the street!!
*feels bad that she never thought of the chopstick/eye trick*
Posted by: Eleanor | July 05, 2007 at 05:21 PM
eye! eye! Scott!
he'd be stupid enough to reattach and go BACK to her.
Posted by: Siouxie | July 05, 2007 at 05:21 PM
Woooot!! a *zipping™* simul with El!!
I hear ya, sistah! The woman is a role model.
*hands out chopsticks to all the gals*
Posted by: Siouxie | July 05, 2007 at 05:24 PM
*covers eyes and stumbles back to work*
Posted by: ScottMGS | July 05, 2007 at 05:26 PM
Excellent ditty, Clean Hands!
Posted by: Bethie | July 05, 2007 at 05:27 PM
LMAO at El's almost run over "accident"!
Posted by: Siouxie | July 05, 2007 at 05:34 PM
*accepts chopsticks from Siouxie*
*finds fortune cookie on blogbar*
"Keep one eye on philandering mate. Remember! Love is blind."
Anyone drop this?
Posted by: DeskDiva | July 05, 2007 at 05:46 PM
Two days later, he sought medical treatment and filed a police report against Po, whom he had dated since 1993.
Two days later?
I'm taking this as yet another sign that she didn't pick this guy for his smarts (or maybe she did, IYKWIM)
Posted by: KCSteve | July 05, 2007 at 05:49 PM
**SNORK** @ AFKAT!!!
Posted by: Clean Hands | July 05, 2007 at 05:56 PM
KC
His real name is Win P.Wong.
Posted by: Mikey | July 05, 2007 at 06:06 PM
KC
His real name is Win P.Wong.
Posted by: Mikey | July 05, 2007 at 06:06 PM
>The worst thing I ever did was *almost* run over my now ex-husband with a VW Bug in the middle of the street!!
Guess you call that The Hate Bug.
Posted by: Edgar Greenberg | July 05, 2007 at 07:18 PM
Kwok = Moron in Chinese?
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 05, 2007 at 07:28 PM
So did they break up or what?
Posted by: snif | July 05, 2007 at 08:14 PM
It was a greaat day, Siouxie! It was a weekend afternoon, all the neighbors were standing around outside watching.
I stopped about a foot in front of him, left the car in the middle of the street and dramatically stormed back into the house.
Too bad it was before video cams were everywhere. I'd probably be on YouTube. ;)
Posted by: Eleanor | July 05, 2007 at 09:41 PM
What would you expect from a woman named after a Teletubby?
Posted by: Appletonian | July 05, 2007 at 11:17 PM
That explains it. He said, "Again, again."
So she kweaned his kwok.
Posted by: SW | July 06, 2007 at 12:09 AM
El, you ROCK! I would have been cheering and clapping!
Posted by: Siouxie | July 06, 2007 at 08:16 AM
I have four sets of chopsticks that I got free from a winery called "Sella & Mosca" - the tag says "La Cala wines with a sense of place...Sardinia. Perfect with seafood." Who knew I would be dealing in weapons of mass destruction? And free, too....
Posted by: Kathybear | July 06, 2007 at 10:27 PM