HARRY-POTTER-RELATED QUESTION OF THE DAY
Last Friday night when the s.b. and her son were off to a major chain bookstore (instead of Books and Books because we live in Broward but don't tell Mitch) to get our Harry Potter Book 7s, said son decided to stop for a dark chocolate shake at a local restaurant, which we shall call Snake N Snape.
The teenager at the drive-thru asked him, without preamble, "Do you have ketchup at home?"
Now, he had ordered a shake. Just a shake. But he dutifully answered, "Yes."
The s.b., being the nosy type, leaned over and said, "Why do you want to know?"
And the girl replied, "This woman was just here and she asked for a lot of ketchup 'cause she said she doesn't have any at home. So I gave her a whole big bottle, and she took it! Just took it and drove away. That's so ghetto! I didn't think she was going to take it! It's so ghetto!"
To which the s.b. replied, "Well, I have ketchup at home but if you'd offered me a whole bottle of it for free, I'd've taken it too. I mean, why not? It's free ketchup."
And she said, "That's so ghetto!"
The question: What else would this work with?
Haagen Daz? Please tell me it would work with Haagen Daz!
Posted by: Bethie | July 27, 2007 at 04:24 PM
Any more of you at home? (But only if she was really cute.)
Posted by: Buford | July 27, 2007 at 04:25 PM
I don't have any diamonds at home....
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 27, 2007 at 04:26 PM
Men? I mean - if you handed me one, I wouldn't hand back just a few parts, you know. Well, unless I was finished with him. There wouldn't be much left then, you know.
Posted by: DeskDiva | July 27, 2007 at 04:30 PM
Maybe you could take in an empty ketchup bottle and ask for a refill. That would be less ghetto.
Posted by: CJrun | July 27, 2007 at 04:31 PM
Ketchup,bleah! Nutin' but sugarized red dye #4.
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | July 27, 2007 at 04:47 PM
I am new here. Is s.b. Dave? Is this his wife? If it is Dave, why is he referring to himself in the third person? How is this related to Harry Potter, other than it was on Harry Potter Day?
Also, did the ghetto person who took the ketchup order anything else? Or did the ghetto person just take the ketchup.
P.S. Taking a #2 on the side of the road after you are potty (not Potter) is ghetto, in my humble opinion, but then I would be insulting those of the ghetto, and that is just not nice.
Posted by: Laurie | July 27, 2007 at 04:48 PM
Throw "trained" up there for me, would ya?
Posted by: Laurie | July 27, 2007 at 04:49 PM
But I didn't have any at home.
Posted by: So Ghetto | July 27, 2007 at 04:49 PM
MKJ - I disagree. Ketchup is the only condiment that will improve the taste of almost any food. Some foods require it. Eggs, for instance. Potatoes benefit from it, but don't require it.
Ketchup has more than just sugar and red dye, too. It also has high fructose corn syrup.
Posted by: Schadeboy | July 27, 2007 at 04:50 PM
Disregard Post. I just realized s.b. is Judi, in which case, it all makes sense now.
Posted by: Laurie | July 27, 2007 at 04:51 PM
theres really nothing you could add to ketchup to make it better - except fries
Posted by: Rick | July 27, 2007 at 04:54 PM
'round here we add ketchup to baked beans and also to haddock.
I say "WE" because I have seen others do this besides me.
I know y'all must have your own weird-things-to-add-ketchup-to stories...less hear'em!
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 27, 2007 at 05:17 PM
Ketchup, chili sauce and grape jelly. Best sauce for little smokies EVER.
Posted by: DeskDiva | July 27, 2007 at 05:20 PM
One time in college (when I was poor and downtrodden), we were trying to bake a cake at the frat house (which is pretty bizarrre in itself) and realized we didn't have any sugar... or money.
We went to the nearest, uh, Schmendy's, and went in and grabbed handfuls of sugar packets from the condiment counter, shoving them in our pockets. We actually ended up with more than the needed two cups.
I realize this was inherently evil and wrong, but it DID take us a long time to empty all those packets into the measuring cup. That was our penance....
Posted by: Clark Kent | July 27, 2007 at 05:21 PM
When I would take her to her favorite lunch spot, Schmendly's, my Granny would take home her gently used napkin and ask that her leftover chips be "bagged to go".
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 27, 2007 at 05:32 PM
I guess the weirdest 'food additive' I ever saw was at breakfast time in our company cafeteria. There was a woman at the condiment bar dumping (and I mean DUMPING) hot sauce into her oatmeal.
Posted by: fivver | July 27, 2007 at 05:44 PM
i think it's been working for candy corn, except nobody likes that stuff
Posted by: Keilwerth LA | July 27, 2007 at 05:45 PM
*GAG @ fivver*
*giggles @ Punkin's granny*
Posted by: DeskDiva | July 27, 2007 at 05:58 PM
I blame Snape.
Posted by: Siouxie | July 27, 2007 at 05:59 PM
but Snape probably had good reason....
Posted by: nora | July 27, 2007 at 06:03 PM
"... she asked for a lot of ketchup 'cause she said she doesn't have any at home...So I gave her a whole big bottle, and she took it! Just took it and drove away. That's so ghetto! I didn't think she was going to take it!"
What did you think she was going to do with it? Pour it into the ash tray?
Posted by: SW | July 27, 2007 at 06:05 PM
my mom makes a ketchup/brown sugar/vinegar sauce for 'chipped ham' that is to die for.
Posted by: judi | July 27, 2007 at 06:07 PM
"Condimentia eliminatum!"
"Reductio ad Tomatum!"
Posted by: SW | July 27, 2007 at 06:09 PM
ketchup and mayo - a most perfect combination for everything!
judi, that sounds really good too. (now if I only knew what "chipped ham" was.)
Posted by: Siouxie | July 27, 2007 at 06:14 PM
Fivver, are you sure it was oatmeal and not grits? The only way grits are ingestible is if they're smothered in Tabasco.
Posted by: Guin | July 27, 2007 at 06:20 PM
Mr. R. puts ketchup on Thanksgiving turkey. That is just wrong. Especially since I make such good gravy.
SW, you are right -- If she said, I need a lot of ketchup, and the server handed her a bottle, well, of course she thought it was for her! Sheesh! What was she supposed to do, open all the packages and add it to the food right there in her car?
And I am knee-deep in the 7th Harry Potter book right now, fighting for time with my daughter. We waited for a cousin to send us the British version, and it finally arrived Wednesday. This is my guilty pleasure. Well, that, and "Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" (No, I am not.)
Posted by: Cat R. | July 27, 2007 at 07:03 PM
Whut else would this work for?
Well ... banks have drive-up windows ... Money?
(I could always lie a little and say I had some at home ...)
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | July 27, 2007 at 07:05 PM
Accio ketchup!
Posted by: nora | July 27, 2007 at 07:11 PM
Yum to ketchup and mayo mixed. Add a little pickle relish and you have Thousand Island dressing, which goes with anything. :)
/end cooking hint for the day
Posted by: Eleanor | July 27, 2007 at 08:10 PM
"(now if I only knew what "chipped ham" was.)"
altogether now:
spam spam spam spam
spam spam spam spam
wonderful spam! BEAUTIFUL SPAM!
Posted by: mudstuffin | July 27, 2007 at 08:41 PM
Kettchup with eggs, Punkin.
*snork* at Stevie.
Yes Laurie, 's.b.' is 'stealth bloggerette' Judi.
But I still don't get why he thought it was 'ghetto' unless she appropriated the ketchup at gunpoint.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 27, 2007 at 08:46 PM
I need to know. Was this ketchup refridgerated?
Posted by: Cheryl Howard | July 27, 2007 at 08:49 PM
I need to know. Was this ketchup refridgerated?
Posted by: Cheryl Howard | July 27, 2007 at 08:49 PM
Echo?
Posted by: Cheryl Howard | July 27, 2007 at 08:50 PM
Hey Mud. Chipped ham is NOT spam.......it is a Western PA specialty. It's a cooked processed ham, sliced paper thin, bought at the deli counter. It's really good with mayo and tomato on a sandwich.
Posted by: Coconuts | July 27, 2007 at 09:19 PM
Hmmm. I wonder if the nosy "That's so ghetto!" drive-through girl at "Snape N Snake" was the same one Dave posted on a couple of weeks ago, who was working at a Wendy's when a customer got so mad at her "rudeness" that he got out of his car and punched her in the face.
If so...that would explain a lot. And kudos to Dave for his superior anger management skills.
Posted by: Wes S. | July 28, 2007 at 12:15 AM
Hmmm. I wonder if the nosy "That's so ghetto!" drive-through girl at "Snape N Snake" was the same one Dave posted on a couple of weeks ago, who was working at a Wendy's when a customer got so mad at her "rudeness" that he got out of his car and punched her in the face.
Posted by: Raley Alex | July 28, 2007 at 11:28 PM
I am reminded of the story that members of the cast of M*A*S*H tell. Harry Morgan, who played Sherman Potter (not Sherman Morgan, who played Harry Potter) would knock on dressing room doors and yell, "Do you have a woman in there?" When the the reply was "No," he would say, "Hang on, I'll send one in."
Posted by: AlanBoss | July 30, 2007 at 12:49 AM
Ketchup reminds you of Col. Sherman Potter being a pimp?
Issues man...Issues.
Posted by: The Almost Great Brian | July 30, 2007 at 07:08 AM