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June 27, 2007

UM, OK, BUT....

...how do they know which ones are poachers?

(Also thanks to Janice Gelb)


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More cautious? ya think?

Poached, fried, or just eaten raw, intruders are always a welcome addition to the crocodile diet.

And first. Whoo hoo. Can we use this method to deal with teenagers and kids with those stupid wheel shoes in stores? Croc moats?

"Unlike guard dogs, crocodiles cannot be tamed and are ferocious and can attack anyone in the swamps," he said.

no sh!t Sherlock!

This should work out well....

Hmm, this reminds me of a movie plot . . . in fact, several really bad, B-movie plots. They never ended well . . . accept for the rogue scientist trying warn the capitalist riverfront realestate developer not to build that retirement community next to the river and the plucky blond news reported and/or assistant to the capitalist riverfront realestate developer who falls in love with the rogue scientist and become a champion of his cause (and also falls down several times and almost gets eaten, stung, bitten, etc.)

Wait, the crocs bred in captivity are more fierce and aggressive than their counterparts in the wild? That's got to be sort of embarassing for the wild crocs, doesn't it?

"Nigel, did you see that? One of those new Sanctuary fellas just bit a tourist clean in half!"

"Bloody hell, I was just going to blow bubbles in the water at her until she ran off."

"This is depressing."

"Oy! Sanctuary boy! Leave us a nibble, yeah? Maybe an arm, oo that thigh looks quite tasty..."

"Did you see that? What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, but he must have picked it up from the humans. I didn't even know our fingers would bend that way."

"Cheeky bugger! Why don't you go back to Sanctuary, you bully! We can handle things down here!"

"Roll over and show him your belly, Brian, go on! Like you did to those poachers the other day..."

"He's coming this way, Nigel. I think we might better skidaddle."

"Now see, it's saying things like 'skidaddle' that gets us in trouble with the guv'nor, I wish you wouldn't say things like 'skidaddle,' Brian. We have to be more...Brian? Brian?"

Maybe the villagers could use golfers as decoys....

**SNORK!!!!** @ Wender.

Phil - you took the words right outta my mouth!

Wender, if I wore a hat I would doff it to you.
Growing up in Florida, we were always taught to rub a gator's belly should we come across one. Thankfully, I never had to test this, but I've a feeling that had I met an alligator in the wild, the exchange would be something along the lines of "Aiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!" fopllowed by a snap because I hadn't actually moved and just made him mad.

When I was living in Punta Gorda in about 6th grade, our friend Beverly went to our neighbor Hank's front door during her early morning walk to tell him what a great prank it was for him to have this big fake gator on his front walk.

He said, "What fake gator?" and Beverly nearly had a seizure. Seems she'd stepped over a live 6-footer on the way to his door thinking it was plastic. It never moved a muscle. They beat a hasty retreat into Hank's house where they called animal control. Good times, good times!

I'm all for this if we can use that annoying child of Steve Irwin as a test subject.

What? Have you SEEN that child in action?!



bad suzyq!!

Growing up in Florida, we were always taught to rub a gator's belly should we come across one...

wait a minute....i was taught to rub a gator alumni's belly. i think i've been had.

cg, I'm thinking that if you rubbed a gator alum's belly, you will be had soon thereafter. NTTAWWT.

sweep. sweep.

Did the sweep work?

Growing up in Florida, we were taught that if you held the gator's mouth shut, it didn't have enough jaw-hinge strength to open its mouth to bite you. How you accomplished this was left to our imaginations...

-- A proud uppercase Gator

Croc's motto: Eat 'em all, and let God sort them out!

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