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June 13, 2007

SQUIRREL TERRORISM UPDATE

Yet another vicious and unprovoked attack.

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Geriatric Squirrel Killer WBAGNFsomething.

Finally someone whacks one of these obnoxious beasties....

and yet, stephen king has yet to address this horror in novel form.

and yet, stephen king has yet to address this horror in novel form.

Keep reminding him crossgirl and I'm sure he will.

Careful examination of this photo proves that this was, in fact, one of the Mossad's highly-trained Nazi-Hunting Squirrels, and that he was on a mission to sniff out and then viciously attack fugitive Nazi Nut-Hoarder (and, to quote legendary Nazi-hunter Simon Wiesenthal, "total asshole") Alois Brunner, recently spotted in Passau shopping for sausages. Brunner's aging but still-spry personal assistant leapt to the runaway Nazi's assistance, clubbing the Attack Squirrel -- whose training and deployment is said to have cost the Mossad $2.6 million in funds borrowed from the U.S.'s Bomb-Sniffing Bee Program -- before it could complete its brave mission.

Officials at the Mossad could not be reached for comment.

One of my coworkers is recovering from a squirrel attack. In attempting to avoid hitting a squirrel (the coworker was on a bike) he swerved, only to have the little demon run straight into his spokes. He flew off the bike and dislocated his shoulder. Do y'all remember that Geico commercial where the squirrels high five each other for causing an accidnet? I have the feeling the squirrels were doing that.

Sounds like the squirrel came off a little worse for the wear in your friend's case, though. Bike accidents are no fun. I know.

eat fuzzy death disgusting pink land sloths

AGAIN with the acorn shells on my keyboard? Got to stop leaving that window open by the laptop...

The link in that story is definitely worth following, for an earlier excellent squirrel invasion incident

Give it up for the Raucous Storming Squirrels!

The previous story they linked to involved a mother squirrel and her children. So now they have started using Hammas tactics. THE BASTARDS!!!!!

Hey, Ron - keep it in your pants, willya? ;-)

I'd like to point out that our elderly appear to be, forgive the expression, bad-asses. From killing bandits with their bare hands in Costa Rica to a former beauty holding thieves for the police to this man taking on the squirrel menace, armed merely with a crutch. I applaud our elderly and hope they don't use their apparently formidable powers for evil.

The elderly gentleman lives (or lived, depending on what the next squirrel does to avenge his brother/sister) in Germany - he ain't one of "ours", unless, of course, you are a German-American...

Well, coincidently, I have German in me, but I think after four generations and my rather mixed heritage, I don't think I could qualify as German-American. I am American Mongrel really.

I didn't realize the Squirrel Menace was global. Maybe the president should appoint a czar or something. (I just wanted to say that)

They are the greatest generation--Tom Brokaw was right!

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