CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS OF THE WEEK SO FAR

It's currently a dead heat between Germany and Florida.

(Thanks to Cheryl Howard and Casey)

Comments

[Clean Hands]

Note to amateur criminals: leave it to the professionals, really.

[DeskDiva]

You're just on top of things today, Bro - your hat trick of a different sort!

[Mikey]

I think people this dumb should not be allowed to breed. Oh and Paris as well.

[Not My Usual Alias]

The Florida result is taking outsourcing just a bit too far.

[Clean Hands]

Just got lucky is all. Right place at the right time. We just wanted it more than they did, this time. *racks brain for the rest of the lessons from Bull Durham...*

[Clean Hands]

I have to say that I'm not surprised that they thief wasn't able to unload the car. After all, it was an El Camino, which (IMHO) is easily one of the five ugliest vehicles ever created by mankind.

[DeskDiva]

I have a worse one. Same idea - using a Mercedes. WHAT a sin.

[queensbee]

not even drunk. just plain stupid.

[Siouxie]

To both I say:

BRILLIANT!!!

[Clark Kent]

So the muggers took the victim's cell phone and traded her an old one?

Maybe this will start a new trend. Come home and your Playstation 3 is gone, but there is an old Atari with Donkey Kong in its place...

[pogo]

CH - the best quote from Bull Durham is not printable in a family blog. It began with "I believe in..."

[DeskDiva]

YESSS!!! I WANT an old Atari!!

*hopes to be burglarized*

*not really*

[pogo]

Oh, and the El Camino is the Vehicle of Choice among some folks, most notably those females wearing flannel shirts and tool belts. At least around here.

[foggiest notion]

The ugliest car ever made had to be my white '78 Ranchero with blue "racing stripes." It only grew uglier with age. However, someone was so entranced by the car that they stole it. It was found over a year later with the windows rolled down and reeling with moss, mold, even mushrooms growing on the floor.

[casey]

Some people just do not think their plans through, do they?

[Clean Hands]

Well, yes, pogo. :-)

[DeskDiva]

casey - often we call those folks, "males."

[Jeff Meyerson]

Ugliest car ever? Gotta be the Pontiac Aztek.

*shudder*

[Siouxie]

YAY for Cheryl & casey!!!

[pogo]

Jeff - good call on the Aztek. It won the Car Talk "Ugliest Car on the Road" contest a couple of years ago.

Fog - the other day I saw the first of teh Rancheros - basically a 1965 Ford Falcon with a pick up bed. They looked pretty good, but went downhill when they used bigger bodies for them, like the 67 Fairlane.

[Clean Hands]

Naw, I kinda like the Aztek.

[DeskDiva]

*stands in the "Azteks R Ugly" corner with Jeff*

[Just Ducky]

Yay, Cheryl & casey!

Way up on the ugliest cars list: AMC's Pacers and Gremlins.

[padraig]

I still think the Florida guy wins for being stupid enough to steal not just an El Camino, but a NINETEEN-SEVENTY-NINE El Camino, probably still had a little disco ball hanging from the rear-view...

But on the ugly car subthread, I have to nominate the Toyota Scion, motto: "For the driver who thinks the Honda Element is just too curvaceous." The Car Talk guys said they couldn't tell the difference between the Scion and the crate it came in.

[Just Ducky]

padraig, the crate was prettier. Oh, and the Scion had wheels.

I do not understand the appeal of those vehicles.

[Bethie]

The teenagers had never been in trouble like that before? And they probably never will again. That's a good message for wanna be criminals. Better hope you're not stupid, or it will be the shortest career ever.

[mudstuffin]

yo, the scion is dope! ya'll are just wack, is all.

the first time i saw an aztec, i stood for a good sixty seconds convincing myself that it wasn't a novelty like the oscar meyer weiner-mobile. that thing got ugly like rosie o'donell got butt.

[Siouxie]

*nominates her old orange chevy vega*

[DeskDiva]

*SNORK* @ mud

[Just Ducky]

Oooh, Siouxie, my college boyfriend drove a bug-green Vega. Poor guy.

[DeskDiva]

And then there was the microbus.

[padraig]

My brother drives a Pontiac Vibe, which is an Aztec wannabe, how pitiful is that?

Actually, come to think of it, he makes his wife drive it...

[DeskDiva]

Nah. It'd still be worse if he drove it.

[Clean Hands]

Hey now. Hands off the VW...

I guess what I like about the Aztek is that it is unique looking and it has some great utility features (such as rear-compartment access to the radio controls and a second power jack in back there, too).

[padraig]

BTW, Weinermobiles are NOT ugly, they are majestic. However, if you want to drive one you better remember that they are cop magnets.

Hmmm... that link might be worth a post of its own. I'll shoot that off to the Blog Meister.

[Siouxie]

Ducky, that thing was hideous...but it was my first car (after both my aunt and sister got through with it). FUGLY as it was, I loved it.

[padraig]

Ever hear of the East German Trabant? Even Russians wouldn't drive it. Yugo owners would laugh at them. Its only accessory was a rear window defroster, which owners claimed was most often used as a hand warmer.

[Siouxie]

wooo hooo! it's quittin' time!!

laters dudes & dudettes!

[foggiest notion]

My life's cars (which you may be free to judge on their ugliness': 1)1960 something chevy impala station wagon with red stripes. Was a toddler in the back seat fighting with my brother.
2) 1960 (or 70?) something blue plymouth valiant with "3 on the tree." 3) 1970 something country squire station wagon with fake wood looking side strips. Now, that was class. 4) My own first car: 1970 something ford pinto hatch-back (only $1999.!) And I might, not worth $1999. 5) Some kinda Avanti or something that my ex-husband was ga ga about because it had a genuine wood dashboard thing, but soon after bought, was demolished by an acacia tree that had the sense to fall on it. 6) Pontiac Grand Prix with "T-Tops", circa 19 something something. 7)Jeep Eagle", which I never got to drive because my first ex-husband never got around to rebuilding the engine like he said he would do. 8)The dreaded Ranchero, donated to me by a pilot who felt sorry for me. 9) 1985 (or was it 90 something) Mazda Rx 7, which at the time I needed to look cool driving around. 10) 2005 Nissan X-Terra (another attempt to look cool), pretty much a tin can that had a lot of rattles and no feeling of being safe. 10) The bestest car I have ever had and still have, 1996 Toyota 4-runner (much more stable than the X-terra).
K, so you can begin judging now.

[DeskDiva]

Yeah. I remember right after 9/11 the Weinermobile got caught on a restricted access road near the Pentagon. EXCELLENT headline of course.

[padraig]

Foggy, I can trump all of yours with one vehicle: a powder blue 1962 Rambler American with a push-button starter AND transmission. My father bought it for me for $250 with 17,000 miles on it -- in 1977!

I put 30,000 miles on it in two+ years and I still miss it. That AM radio had a great sound...

[GungaDan]

Back in my well spent youth, I had a Pacer and a Vega. The Vega beat a Ford Mustang in a road race. Handled amazingly well for such a lite car. I paid $200 for each.

Padraig, Rambler was a really great looking car!

[pogo]

A high school friend could barely stand to drive the family's only vehicle - an olive green and white 1959 Chevy Bel Air. His old man decided they needed a 2nd car and bought another one JUST LIKE IT!

But if I could have my red & white 1955 Ford Crown Vic back... *sigh* Many firsts occurred in that car.

[The blog reader formerly known as Matt]

Mmmmmm....Beeeeeeeer

My first car was a brown 77 Pontiac Safari Wagon, with wood paneling on the sides. The gas mileage was lousy, but the back seat layed down and had all sorts of room.

Which might have come in handy if I could have ever gotten a date. A desperate date with low morals.

[DeskDiva]

My first car was a 1979 Mercury Zephyr. Hardly anyone knows what those were. Think of a Hamm's beer version of the Ford Fairmont.

[DeskDiva]

Hey there, Dan! XMatt! Hope your day is going smoothly!

[The blog reader formerly known as Matt]

Reasonably smoothly. Spent all day trying to get parts and work for next week scheduled. It was rough dragging my butt out of bed this morning.

[DeskDiva]

Um, yes. It was. *whistles innocently*

[DeskDiva]

Er, MINE, that is.

[Meditrina]

Cyber s3x simuls really knock the wind out of ya, huh? Kids!

[The blog reader formerly known as Matt]

Mine coulda used the help though. Good thing I had hungry kittens biting me.

[DeskDiva]

Mine, too. The dog I'm housesitting was in the kitchen in her crate courtesy of my roommate or she'd have been walking all over mine to make sure I took her out. I still woke up one solid hour after my alarm went off. *grimaces* But I made good time. I was only 25 minute late. *hides head*

[CJrun]

Diva, as a complete (old) car nut, allow me to point out that the Ford equivalent of the Zephyr was the Futura....

[DeskDiva]

Really? I thought it was a knockoff Fairmont.

[GungaDan]

(((Diva))) Great thanks. How are your boo-boo's? Hope better today.

[Jeff Meyerson]

foggy: excellent bad car list. My first (of my own) was a 1971 yellow VW Bug that I paid $2,300 for and drove for 16 years.

Good times.

[crossgirl]

tosses a couple "b's" up there for gungadan's question.

[dialtone]

*snork* @ crossgirl !
My Dad worked for a plumbing company, and he was always pleased to drive the company car - a huge, ugly white station wagon with faucets mounted on the hood !

[Kathybear]

God,for real ugly take the Honda Civic - the original Honda, AKA "the football helmet on wheels". We had it once as a loaner, when my mom's car was in the shop. My brother was with us when we went shopping. We were the talk of the parking lot- people stopped to watch him get out of and out of and out of the car. He was folded up in the front seat and when we got back in it to go home, he said he would never ride in that thing again...

[Joben]

singing...

The front is like a car!
The back is like a truck!
The front is where we sit!
The back is where we... EL CAMINO!

[Kristina L.]

I agree that the Scion is an ugly looking car.