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June 05, 2007

ACADEMIC UPDATE FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF ARKANSAS AT FAYETTEVILLE

Moo.

This has been your Academic Update from the University of Arkanas at Fayetteville.

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Sounds like something Dave used to do.

I really wish I hadn't read that before breakfast.

Or ever, probably.

*shudder*

Well, we never thought it was Big Macs.

um...what's in a cow's stomach??

grass. duh!

*hair flip*

I really wish I hadn't read that AFTER breakfast.

If they know what the cows are "grazing on" why do they need to know what it looks like after they ate it? *Shrug* Guess I don't have that scientific type brain.

Four inch tube? Bet it would make a dandy potato launcher!

Your mind and the blonde's are in sync, Prof ;-)

four inch tube = uncouth fiber

Which is exactly what they found. Mooincidence? I think not.

College students + ready access to inside of cow stomachs = KABOOM!

This has been your upcoming headline update from the University of Blog.

Hmm what exactly are you getting at Siouxie??

On a recent visit, Professor Ken Coffey pulls out the plug of a cannula with an audible pop and reaches a fist into the cow to reveal the stomach contents.

*pop*

*barf*

Were they studying my former girlfriend's innards? Did they find that slice of my soul she stole?

Oh, wait. Damn. This was an ARKANSAS cow. The aforementioned slice is still being hidden somewhere in Misery Missouri, then. Carry on.

Of course, up here in cheese country cannulated cows are an indispensable part of all anniversary celebrations.

hmmm nothing, Prof.

la la la

pad, don't you think "Cannulated Cows" wbagnfarb??

THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!!!

ACK and GACK!!!!

*puts Siouxie's name on the list of volunteers for cleaning out the cow stomachs*

If you left the plug out of one of the cannulae, could you get the correct oxygen / methane mixture in the intestines to actually get an exploding cow?

*gets vacuum cleaner ready*

Chris, just in case, don't light a match near one.

This research funded by a grant from the Richard Gere Foundation.

okay woudn't it be cool if like someone actually talked you into sticking your hand into one of those things you know on the side of a cow that like goes into it's stomach? you know? wouldn't it be cool if like you stuck your hand in there in all that wet grass and stuff and like another hand grabbed yours? or like it had teeth in there or something? wouldn't that like totally freak you out?

Dave, there are global methane emissions and terrorist squirrels going on in the world and you obsess over shtuff like this? Time to get a life! Or a rock band!

That's the way to up the ante, mud!!!

What's in a cow's stomach? I cudn't care less.

The animals are anesthetized and the operation is typically performed by a veterinarian

Typically? As in, not always?

And if you wanna see what a cow's been eatin', last I checked there's already an opening for that purpose. Just wait a little while...you won't even have to reach in.

Cannulated Cows WBAGNFARB

YES it would be, Baron ;-)

hmmm nothing, Prof.

la la la

pad, don't you think "Cannulated Cows" wbagnfarb??

Posted by: Siouxie | 10:20 AM on June 5, 2007

-------------

blurk - eww

Sorry Siouxie... my optical sensors are askew this morning... Out of coffee, and donuts don't dunk themselves.

I hear ya, Baron. I was just joshin'! good to know our great minds think alike. (or scary) ;-P

lemme askew somethin...

so they cow eats, vet removes recent meal through handy access, cow wonders why it's always hungry, poor thing. hey....... wait a minute! if anyone needs me, i'll be checking for cannullas.

hope this has nothing to do with canola oil.

Cannulas? Oh, those BUTCHERS!!! Oh, wait. That comes later....

*spews on mud*

*Phone rings*

"Dean's office."

"He got drunk and did what? Oh, crap. With how many cows? Sticking right out of their sides? Ok, let me think... I got it. We'll call it research into what cows eat. Yes, yes, I know they eat grass, but this is University research. If we play this right we could get millions is grants.

And you guys thought we were a bunch of hicks !! HA !!

I'm with you, cg. Poor little cows. There are just some things done "in the name of science" that are a little bit mean.

I am horrified! My alma mater Other schools will be pimping the government using cannulas for large sums of cash research.

Yep, the Weirdness Magnet has been amplified.

Hmmm, belated proofreading. Changes "is" to "in."

Adds a ".

Vacuums, dusts, lets cat out.

Is anyone else thinking abotu the diet industry getting their hands on this technology? Or is it just my incredibly warped mind?

They had cows like this at the University of Illinois when I went there in '88-'92.
-ME

They have cows like this at USU. My brothers have both had the opportunity to empty the cow stomachs and study what they eat. What they often do is empty the stomach completely, then turn the cow out to pasture. When it comes back with a full stomach they empty it again, to see which grasses/weeds/plants the cows prefer to eat. Just to be nice to the cows, they do put the half digested food back into their stomachs when the research is over, that way the cow isn't always hungry.

A few of my friends did this in High School

Yes an Agricultural High School. They actually had classes on chicken plucking. And even took a class trip to London (yes England) and visited the supermarkets to photograph the meat counter.

A few of my friends did this in High School

Yes an Agricultural High School. They actually had classes on chicken plucking. And even took a class trip to London (yes England) and visited the supermarkets to photograph the meat counter.

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