A TIME FOR HUMANITY TO ACT

We cannot, as a species, sit by and do nothing as Paris Hilton is crushed under the heel of the boot on the leg controlled by the fat meaty thigh of tyranny. As the saying goes: "When they came for Paris Hilton, I did nothing. And when they came for Britney Spears, I still did nothing. And then they came for Lindsay Lohan, and I decided to have a beer."

Yes, this is the time to draw a line in the sand and either fish or get off the pot. You are probably saying, "But I am just one lone individual of average attractiveness. What can I do?" Plenty! You can go here and  join the morons concerned individuals working for the Paris cause. There is lots to do! For example, you can -- in the spirit of the Civil Rights marches of the sixties -- purchase apparel and gifts. Paris would appreciate that! Or you can sign the petition. Or you can write a letter to the LA County Prosecutors Office. Something like: "What kind of country is this that punishes a person for driving with a suspended license? Nazi Germany?"

But whatever you do, do something, and do it for Paris. Because if YOU were about to go to jail, can there be any doubt that Paris would be there for you?

Comments

[crossgirl]

what is this world coming to? justice!!!

[jon]

What can we do to add our heel to the crushing?

[Jeff Meyerson]

I agree, Dave. I personally offered the judge twenty bucks if he doesn't cave.

That should do it.

[jon]

And I see from their site that they have those special shirts for Siouxie, Diva, et al. ...

[Joker319]

They should be selling "Free Paris" panties, but then, nobody who supports this wears them anyway...

[Mikey123]

Capital Punishment!!!

[queensbee]

she's contacted Ahh-nold. we should all write to him.

[Heinrich the Lab Rat]

The jurist involved has a couple of great stories, including one on today's LA Times site.

Showing up late for court, not understanding the court ordered parole by being cited 3 times for DWS in a few months... hey, I think Paris Hilton might be channelling my brother when he was 22 -- just before the auto accident that put him in a coma and knocked off 30 IQ points.

Frankly dear -- I don't think you can afford to lose 30 IQ points. You wouldn't like to have a stainless steel jaw, either.

A lot of us were/are young and stupid and still grow up to one degree or another to be adults. Not always responsible adults, but adults. Take the 45 days standing on your head and return to society. Maybe you'll end up a better human being by being alive instead of dead.

[Kirsten]

I definitely need a Free Paris thong for Mother's Day.

[Cztheday]

You are right! We need to DO something! I DID something.
But it wasn't very pleasant or attractive.

[the world has a fivver]

Maybe we should have a concert to 'raise awareness'.

[Dave Watson]

I'd wear one. Slip a couple of raw Perdue chickens on my feet and VIOLA! I'm chick-wothy

[Siouxie]

Dave, I think you should donate part of the proceeds from the RBR's one-night gig tour to this cause. Who cares if children can read? Certainly not Paris!

I, myself, am buying the "I'm horny..." T-shirt that jon suggested. I'm sure that should help. Someone. Right??

[Suzy Q]

This is just a travesty! I'm losing sleep over poor Paris' plight. Whatever was that judge thinking, sending away an international icon such as Paris? I just look up to her so much! *sob* Maybe a t-shirt would help?

[Dr Acula]

The petition contains the following allegation:
"Furthermore, she was coaxed into signing a document"
She was coaxed! By Nazis! Justice for Paris!

[Siouxie]

In a related article, I read she's asked the Governator for a pardon. Here's what the article says:

Paris Hilton is now part of a grass-roots campaign to keep her out of jail.

In a message that went up Monday on her MySpace page and reported in the New York Post, the hotel heiress writes (in her own spelling): "My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!"

----------------------------------

We should all go an sihn it.

[artchick]

Paris' lastest excuse is that she got pulled over by the cops because she's so hot that they all wanted to ask for her phone numebr. I'd post a link to the story, but I'm too lazy.

[artchick]

I mean "latest". Geez, just talking about Paris makes you dumb.

[Glix]

I read that, artchick...she was saying that they don't even give her tickets, just want to talk to her. Well, apparently she got a ticket some time.

[George "The Awesome" Lucas]

I think this calls for a party.

[Stevie W]

Ha ha ha cute shirts, but I have one of these. But mine was autographed in person.
*beams ridiculously and irrationally*

[WriterDude]

1) Feed and care for my family

2) Continue to educate myself

3) Do whatever I can to ease the suffering of my fellow humans

4) Do whatever I can to keep Dog The Bounty Hunter out of the Mexican judicial system

...

2,038) Lend my support to spare Paris Hilton 1.5 months in jail.

Oh, look, at long last -- I have my priorities in order!

[Val]

"Free Paris"

Didn't we already do that during World War II?

[Moon]

I posted this in the other thread:

Gawker has some new T-shirts for sale.

They are already on backorder!

[Kathybear]

Yawn... Sorry, I only help real trailer trash...

[Kathybear]

Obviously this is a hot topic - the bot got me.Slow down, people! The bot is giving out tickets!

[Your Stalker...]

I, myself, am buying the "I'm horny..." T-shirt that jon suggested. I'm sure that should help. Someone. Right??

Posted by: Siouxie | 09:39 AM on May 8, 2007

Yeah, Siouxie. That'll help a lot. Thanks.

[Arequipa]

Stirring words from her petition:

The petition, which had more than 900 signatures by Tuesday morning, urges the California actor-turned-governor to pardon Hilton because she provides "beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives."

"If the late former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well, and we hope and expect the governor will understand and grant this unusual but important request in good faith to Ms. Paris Whitney Hilton," the petition says.

[Zoodle]

Okay. I'll probably be stoned for saying this but...Paris is an idiot who has "people" to do things for her. One of those "people" told her that she was allowed to drive for work purposes. She believed him.

I'm not sure that jail time is appropriate.

[Dr. Rickenstein]

"Free Paris"

Didn't we already do that during World War II?

Yeah Val and look how well thats worked out for us. Let Paris be crushed under the mighty jack-booted heel of Darth Bot!

[ScottMGS]

Zoodle, she should have had her "people" drive her, then.

[KOW]

I say June 5th we throw a party that makes cinco de mayo look like a tame garden party.

[WriterDude]

Zoodle, it might have been different if she had ever done anything remotely resembling work.

[MareBear]

I think she should go to jail simply because she thinks she "lends beauty and excitement to most of) our otherwise mundane lives."
I'll admit I lead a mundane life, but I couldn't give a flying fig what Paris does. And, maybe this is because I'm a girl, or because personality shines through, but I don't think she's all that pretty.
Then again, I don't have people telling me what to do/think. Maybe that's my problem--rational thinking.

[Zoodle]

Yes!! See, that was my point...she's used to NOT thinking.

Although Scott & WriterDude bring up excellent points.

*wanders off to sit in the "I don't give a flying fig" corner with MareBear*

[OkieDokie]

this is one of the great things about America - you can find any old stupid cause, print up a t-shirt, and probably become a millionaire in about a week.

/leaves to pout because I DIDN"T THINK OF IT FIRST!!!

[Adora]

My favorite sentence from the petition...

"Yet, Paris Hilton did not hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything, and yet she must do jail time."

Can we get a ruling on how many "yet"s are allowed in a sentence, please?

[Alien8]

Isn't there a group of rabid PTA moms who clamor for blood when ordinary people DUI? Why aren't they after her . . . oh, duh, that's right. She's on TV!!! It's all fictional.

[Desk Diva]

Very LTTG: Jon - I'm honored that you found a shirt for me! I'll have to order one right now.

[John]

I made an alternative petition:

http://www.petitiononline.com/89451231/petition.html