24 ADVISORY

As some of you may recall, last year, when the 24 season ended on TV, it continued on this blog, thanks to the clinically insane awe-inspiring efforts of The Amazing Steve, who each Monday night continued to present a detailed summary of the ongoing plot of the show, which was going on only in his mind. Steve has advised this blog that he plans to continue that tradition this year, so tonight at 9 Eastern Central Mountain Pacific Daylight Perimeter Time we will present a brief summary of the situation, followed, in the comments, by The Amazing Steve. Feel free to join us.

Comments

[DeskDiva]

STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

[ArcticAl]

YAY Steve! I don't have to switch to heroin after all!

[Guin]

All Hail Steve!

[Punkin Poo]

I much prefer Steve's version!

YAY STEVE!!!!!!!!

[DeskDiva]

And **SNORK** at "us."

*sings*

Here we come,
on the internet
we get the funniest posts from
Annie, Punkin and Siouxie...

Hey, hey, we're Dave'd Boogers!
We come to Dave's to monkey around,
But we're too busy posting
and puttin' every'body down....

(Well, OK, just the Twitney Trio, really, but....)

We're just tryin' to be snarky,
so come and watch us blog and play,
cuz we're spread across the nation
and we've got somethin' to say.

Hey, hey, we're Dave's Boogers
You never know where we'll be found
So you'd better get ready, DAVE!
We may be comin' to your town...

(LOOK OUT MIAMI!!!!)

[Dr. Rickenstein]

Oh my kids are going to hate me, (stealing their valuable World of Warcraft time and such) but HOORAY!

[homeybeef]

and then we send steve's season to fox and tell them to film it?

[DeskDiva]

Heya Doc! Drop a line if you get bored today. :-)

OH, homeybeef, if only they'd LISTEN!!!!! You don't suppose we could hire Kiefer Jack to shoot 'em in the thigh if they didn't, do you?

*she asked, wishfully*

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Steve, we're trying to TAKE THE DAY OFF! It's Memorial Day, where we ponder the memory of "24" seasons past...

[Val]

You people are crazy.

(I feel very comfortable here).

[Val]

I just have a quick question. There are 2 squirrels in my backyard right now. They are pretending to drink water out of the pond but they keep looking towards the house. Should I be worried?

[DeskDiva]

HUSH YOU, Andy! If Steve wants to post, WHO are WE to prevent him!!

Steve, Sweetheart, Darling, Loveofmylife, you just pay him NO mind a'tall. Post whenever your li'l heart tells you to. :-)

*beams at Steve; sticks tongue out at THC*

[GungaDan]

Great tune Diva! I nominate it for blog anthem!

[GungaDan]

Run Val! They are setting up a perimeter

[Dr. Rickenstein]

Val, they could have brought a giant Humbodt squid in as hired muscle to get ya on your next trip out to the pond. Be afraid, be VERY afraid.

[DeskDiva]

Heheh, Val. We've SUCKED you in like a Hoover!!!

And as for the squirrels,

1. Do you see any canisters?

2. If you have a firearm, can you get a bead on their thighs?

C. GDan pegged it - it's a PERIMETER!! DRINK!!!

[DeskDiva]

**snork!** @ the Doc. How's you today? I never did get you yesterday - just the teen and tween at various times. :-)

And THANK YOU, Dan. :-) WHY do I ALWAYS forget to say THANK YOU?! *smooches Dan*

[Dr. Rickenstein]

and its Humboldt, but whatever. I have to work today so PHHHTTTTT at proper spelling! Oh wait, I never acknowledge that rule any other day. *pours self a fresh glass of non-alchoholic Dr. Pepper*

[DeskDiva]

Heh. So - are you at least having a respectably good time at work, or will you need a cheering up call in the afternoon?

By the way, Doc, teenboy was feeling bored last night 'bout 9-ish, so he chatted a few mins with me. Hope 'sok. Told me he was completely bored with absolutely nothing to do. I assume he had no girls online. ;-)

At least tweengirl types in complete words instead of consonants only. :-D

[Val]

If a squirrel perimeter is anything like a CTU perimeter, I think I'm safe :)

And I love the idea of a squid in my pond. I could be the first on my block to have one :)

[Wes S.]

Thank you, Steve; you just may have saved us all from "24" withdrawal symptoms.

*genuflects toward computer screen*

We're not worthy...we're not worthy...we're not worthy...

Just please leave Awwwdrey in a coma, 'kay?

[Dr. Rickenstein]

Well Diva, I suppose it's ok. Be wary tho, he is a 14 year old boy but thinks he's 24 and smooth with the ladies. Val, CTU perimeters are the only ones which do NOT work so I would keep your guard up. Squirrel perimeters are bound to involve trees and hiding behind bird feeders and such.

[Dr. Rickenstein]

If memory serves me correctly, Audrey is pregnant and in a coma. Surely Steve wouldn't go for a PREGGERS ZOMBIE AUDREY terrorizing L.A. would he? What was I thinking, of course he wouldn't. That would be what the normal "24" script writers have planned for next season.

[DeskDiva]

'Sall right. It was less than 7 mins and I probably bored him anyway. We talked about climbing trees. He suggested I should not do it because he fell yesterday. LOL. (Um, that's LOL at the idea of me climbing trees, not him falling.) I said there must have been no girls online for him to talk to, so he said, "I'm talking to YOU." (I spelled that out. His version was more like: "LOL tkg 2 U"

Heh. At which point I informed him I'd left girlhood in the dust. Funny how he had to go pretty quick after that comment. ;-)

And *SNORK* at your Zombie Awwwwdrey. At least she wouldn't be whining!!! (IS there such a thing as a whiney zombie? OH, geez. I do NOT want to be giving the writers that idea!)

[DeskDiva]

Oh, and DEAR HEAVENS NOOOOOOOO!!!! Dude, CHLOE is pregnant, AWWWWDREY is just an incoherent whiner in a coma.

[Wes S.]

Chloe is preggers, Awwwdrey is comatose, and worst of all Jack is going through a serious emotional crisis. I'm shuddering to think of Jack in therapy...actually, the only thing that comes to mind is the "hit the pillow" scene from Analyze This.

Unfortunately for Jack, pillows don't have thighs.

I suppose we could just give Jack what every middle-aged man wants when he's having his midlife crisis: a red Corvette and a hot young girlfriend that's young enough to be his daughter. Except if Jack goes that route, he'll hopefully find a pretty young thing that's smarter than his daughter. Or Awwwdrey, for that matter.

And isn't a spy, mole or terrorist. He's had crappy luck in relationships, hasn't he?

[DeskDiva]

Wes, how hard do you think it would be to FIND someone smarter than Kim or Awwwwdrey?

Let's get him a hot young nurse. That would work.

[Tori Lennox]

Great!!! Steve, the producers should hire you as their primary writer!!!

[ScottMGS]

Y'know, after all the, um, stress that Jack has been through in just a couple days you'd think he must be suffering from PTSD. He's even become a bit (?) unstable. Seems to me the writers should send him to The Village to mellow out.

[DeskDiva]

**SNORK!** @ Scott. Love it!

[ScottMGS]

Hey, DD. I'm glad to read that your head is feeling better. I'm starting to recover from my youth con weekend. My chest cold really killed my energy level and taking my 3am shift after little sleep probably won't help me clear that up.

[DeskDiva]

ALSO glad to hear that nobody got caught doing the unmentionable. ;-)

[Just Ducky]

*texts Robitussin ™, tissues, and cough drops to Scott*

Did the kids have a great time?

[DeskDiva]

Heh. When I was a kid we ALWAYS had a great time. And trust me, Scott. There were still kids engaging in less appropriate activities. You just didn't catch them. ;-)

[Wes S.]

Oh Lord, Jack as The Prisoner. Too funny...

Although as long as we've got the Wayback Time Machine out, wouldn't it be funny to drop Jack into the middle of an episode of The Avengers? One of the good original episodes, with Diana Rigg kicking ass in leather and Spandex? Now there would be a good match for Jack...

"....Hullo, Mrs Peel, we're needed...hmmm, what's this?"

(*Steed picks up a note*)

"' Dear Steed, off saving the world with this intense Yank fellow named Jack Bauer. Back in 24 hours. XXX OOO Mrs. Peel.

P.S.: There's a fellow locked in the pantry who tried to kill us. Please check the bandages on his thigh, will you?

P.P.S.: Jack says you really ought to trade in that silly bowler hat for a Stetson. I agree.'"

"What the devil?! That little minx!"

(*Steed opens the pantry door, yanks the gag out of the mouth of the battered, bound, thigh-shot enemy agent inside*)

"Owwww! Not so rough, guv'nor! I'll talk, I promise! Please don't shoot me in the other thigh - oh wait, you're not that scary Jack bloke. Whew. Could you help me with my thigh? By the way, you know that bowler hat and umbrella makes you look sorta like a poof - OW! OW! Quit hitting me with that bleedin' umbrella! Hey, wait-"

"Oh, check your own bloody bandages."

(*Steed slams the pantry door, shoots the lock, then looks around in consternation.*)

"Well then...what the BLOODY HELL am I supposed to do for the rest of the episode!? I'm not a bloody babysitter!..."

Emma Peel would have been a great match for Jack. Lord knows that all the women that have actually been part of Jack's life in "24" were either flaky or brainless...except for Nina, who turned out to be a traitor.

And Nina still rates as the best of the bunch.

[ScottMGS]

Well, there were the six kids playing spin the bottle in the common room at 4am but all they were doing was kissing. I was in and out every couple minutes (warming up tea, getting munchies, etc.) so nothing too untoward was happening.

[Jeff Meyerson]

OK, Scott, but I don't see how this will help Jack relax.

DD: Squid Perimeter - GNFARB?

Have at it, Steve. Even half asleep you can't be worse will be a lot better than the so-called real writers on the show.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Steve - this IS gonna be the musical review version you promised us, right?

[Bethie]

Thank god! I was starting to use my free time to do bad things! Now I can go back to being good again!

[DeskDiva]

Hee hee. Yeah - you just didn't know about the kids in the closet there, Scott. ;-)

EXCELLENTLY done there, Wes!!

[Annie Where-but-here]

simul with Bethie who, because of our Amazing Steve, is turning away from a life of crime. And ArticAl, who can, because of our Amazing Steve, now use his heroin money for better things. Like shoes.

Stop writing, Steve, and people will go bad faster than an Awwdrey subplot. Just sayin'. :^|

[DeskDiva]

Jeff - EXCELLENT NFARB!!

[DeskDiva]

They just don't make movies like they used to. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. 'Nuff said.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Hey, Steve, here's an idea. Post the story...in REAL TIME! Do one post every minute... :) That'll let us all do live commentary to it. :)

[Annie Where-but-here]

oooh, andy...as a left coaster, me like that.

[Meditrina]

Hey Diva! Good morning.

[Nurse Tammy]

*humming discreetly in background*
happy birthday to meeee...

Very nice of the whole country to take the day off to help me celebrate.
*fires up blog grill and opens blogbar*

[Dr. Rickenstein]

Well a very Happy birthday to the Good Nurse! Hope the rain is staying away from your parade today. Wes, I knew it was Chloe that was really preggers, but there was a thread on here last week that dealt with Kim Raver being pregnant. Needless to say I was just revisiting a bad joke from last week. (note to self: still doesn't work a few days later...)

[DeskDiva]

Ummm....Are you somewhere in the South Pacific there, Med? ;-) Musta been a late night!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAMMY!!!!!!

And Andy, I had that same thought! I LOVE it!!!!!!!!

[Nurse Tammy]

*sips double blogarita*
(Rain is officially illegal in Vegas, you know. The showgirls hate having to dry out all those plumes.)
Soooo, who's up for ice cream cake?

[GungaDan]

Happy birthday Nurse Tammy!!!!!

[KDF]

Amazing Steve,

As much as we all wish that Jack Bauer would thigh-shoot the 24 writers so that you could single-handedly replace them (well, double-handedly -- we need you at full typing capacity) I think that your status as an official and invited contributor to Dave's blog is in fact, an even better gig. :)

Woo hoo and WTG!

[Cat R.]

Nurse Tammy:
(your birthday card)
credit: Sandra Boynton

[Dr. Rickenstein]

I would agree KDF. As a matter of fact, I think the blog owes Steve a HUGE raise after this past season of "24". Wait, he does get paid doesn't he?

[GungaDan]

Happy Birthday Nurse Tammy

[ScottMGS]

Cat, that's one of my all-time favorite b'day cards.

...Hippo birdies two you!

[Meditrina]

Cat - My sister has a mug I gave her with that logo on it. LUV IT!

Hope your birthday is wunderbar, NT.

Yes, Diva, it was a late night. Had a great time catching up with my old squeeze. We had an argument last night though - over who was using whom for the deed. It was hilarious.

Not often a relationship starts out just for THAT and becomes a real friendship. I guess you never know.

[DeskDiva]

Cat - that IS my all-time favorite!!! I LOVE Sandra Boynton. :-)

[DeskDiva]

DAYUM, MED!!!!! Whew!!

[Meditrina]

Yeah, he is a swseetheart. Too bad he moved to Des Moines. :-(

We just had a few drinks last night, and then he went to another bar with his "guy pals." I saw some guys walk in and thought "Satan himself" would be there soon, so I bailed and went home.

[Meditrina]

*pulls down errant s*

I know, hover twice. click once. and there is still no #3.

[DeskDiva]

Heh. And here I thought you meant last night.... ;-)

[Just Ducky]

Happy birthday to you, dear Nurse Tammy
I hope that your day packs a whammy
May you have lots of fun
And I suggest, when you're done
That we all hop a plane to Miami!

[Val]

Happy birthday, Tammy!

(Love the poem, Ducky!)

[Meditrina]

No, Diva. Not last night. I may have had the inclination, but God, in her infinite wisdom and wicked sense of humor, sent Auntie Flo to watch over me and keep me celibate safe. Big sigh.

[Cat R.]

*SNORK* at Auntie Flo.

[DeskDiva]

HAHAH!!! SMART, that God....

[DeskDiva]

Delightful simul there, Cat!!!

Have a good day?

[Wyo Cowboy]

Diva, thanks for mentioning me on the last thread.

[Cat R.]

Diva, I was just going to post that popping in and out of the Memorial Day thread was a really nice way to spend the day. Yep, we've got the pool open, and HEATED, and I might just brave the elements and jump in myself soon. I only swim when the water is spa-temperature -- like Med says.

Has your headache stayed away?

[insomniac]

happy birthday nurse tammy!

[DeskDiva]

Wyo, ANYTIME. You're a wonderful man, and I'm proud to know you. Just hope I can actually meet you one of these days. 'Course we'll have to make some music together when I do. ;-)

(Um, that's LITERAL, folks.)

*looks up tickets out west*

[Cat R.]

Holy crap!

Mr. R. just heard this on the news, so I Goodsearched it.

Seventeen alumni showed up for their 70th high school reunion in Billings, Montana.

I'm feeling pretty chipper and youthful right about now!

[Wyo Cowboy]

we only had about 45 in my entire graduating class. The chances, (considering the inbreeding) of even 5 of us makin' it 70 years are... ummmm. slim.

[Cat R.]

We had 675 (or 625, I can't remember). I almost chickened out of going to my 10-year reunion. I was shy in high school and am still pretty shy now. But I'm glad I did. I met Mr. R. there that night. We didn't know each other well in high school, but we met as I was leaving the reunion at the end of the evening, and, as they say, the rest is history.

[ScottMGS]

Somebody from the KC area please tell me this is not what makes KC barbecue famous.

[Wyo Cowboy]

Scott, caught an article about you via Annie's site. You're a good man, indeed.

and as for burnin' books, I think it's safe to say, "If Hitler tried it, maybe there's a better way."

Just sayin'

[Cat R.]

Oh, Scott, that's beyond sad.

This is only one of several charities trying to round up used books for impoverished countries.

And Oprah had another person on her show recently who was doing multiple book drives -- the guy was a millionaire who gave up his jet-set lifestyle and decided to devote the rest of his life to supplying books where they were needed. When you saw the film clip of how the school kids grabbed each and every book coming off the truck and clutching them to their chests, it just broke your heart.

And this guy's burning them.

I understand his frustration, but there has to be a better way of getting attention and drawing the charities to find him.

[Meditrina]

Wayne began burning his books in protest of what he sees as society's diminishing support for the printed word.

Okay, this makes sense, HOW????? I'm guessing this guy didn't actually read the books. He just used them as coasters for his PBR and Boone's Farm, or as door stops, or perhaps an armchair built out of books. Sheesshhh. The weirdness magnet is pulling KC in now.

[Cat R.]

Oh, Scott, that's beyond sad.

This is only one of several charities trying to round up used books for impoverished countries.

And Oprah had another person on her show recently who was doing multiple book drives -- the guy was a millionaire who gave up his jet-set lifestyle and decided to devote the rest of his life to supplying books where they were needed. When you saw the film clip of how the school kids grabbed each and every book coming off the truck and clutching them to their chests, it just broke your heart.

And this guy's burning them.

I understand his frustration, but there has to be a better way of getting attention and drawing the charities to find him.

[Cat R.]

I was got by the bot.

[Suzy Q]

The Amazing Steve
Soldiers on in hiatus
Is Awdrey dead yet?

[Meditrina]

Cat - Bingo!

[Cat R.]

I'm guessing Dave and Ridley won't be strumpeting in Kansas City anytime soon. Unless they bring fire extinguishers.

[ScottMGS]

Thanks, Wyo. As Popeye said, "Ah yam what ah yam." Some people think we're crazy (they're right). Mutual commitment to a relationship is a powerful force. However, until everyone that looks like we do is treated equally, we'll be seen as second-class citizens.

Re: the books - good point.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Happy Birthday, Nurse T! And many more.

We had 1206 in my graduating class. I didn't go to my 40th reunion.

[Wyo Cowboy]

off topic, to Med:

have you tried any Three Blind Moose wines yet?

Hmmmmmmm?

[DeskDiva]

*sigh* I know. I'm in a great position to answer this question, Scott and Wyo, since I live in KC AND I work in a library here.

Prospero's is a great little bookstore, but part of the irony here is that THEY didn't have places for these books, either! Space is at a premium. BELIEVE me. We have to be super careful about what we accept because we have VERY limited space available.

It's a shame the owners there didn't think about, oh, GIVING THEM TO HOMELESS SHELTERS, NURSING HOMES OR BATTERED WOMEN'S SHELTERS, the lousy bum. >:(

[ScottMGS]

Cat, I like "Got by the bot" better than "botfocked". Thanks!

[Meditrina]

Indeed, Wyo. And you know how I loves me my grape juice.

[DeskDiva]

CAT EXCELLENT POINT!!!

I never even gave that a thought!!!

I think I shall send this information on to Prospero's. Better yet, I'll walk it in the damn front door. >:(

[ScottMGS]

DDiva, I hope he finds out about Cat's link (Books For Africa) and decides to stop grandstanding. Or, better yet, starts grandstanding for something like Books For Africa!

[ScottMGS]

Dang! Missed a psychic simul with you by a minute, there, Diva!

[Cat R.]

You know, I'm getting madder. It took me less than ten minutes to find the link to Books for Africa. (Probably less than 5, with 5 minutes of floating in the bot-ether to post it -- twice.)

Methinks this guy didn't holler loudly enough, or doesn't want to really give the books away as much as sell them, albeit cheaply. Well, what do they say? Negative publicity is still publicity? Or something like that?

Well, off to supper-by-the-pool. Mr. R. "cooked" two days in a row -- yesterday grilling, today doing the pizza run. I can get used to this! Carry on, blogits!

[Wyo Cowboy]

My house is a haven for wayward books. several thousand.

Oh yeah, and two cats. I'd sooner burn the cats, if ya know what I mean.

[DeskDiva]

Publicity at all costs, I guess. Maybe those of us in KC should ALL walk this info in the door. Or at least notify the KC Star.

[Meditrina]

Cat - Good 4 U. Sounds like you have a keeper. Diva - what's for dinner? Time to open the blog bar. What's everyone havin'? I'll fill in in Sioux's absence

[Wyo Cowboy]

Talisker's the ticket, tonight. thanks.

[ScottMGS]

Wyo, we have boxes of books that we moved to our current house 13 years ago and never unpacked. Somehow, the bookcases are overflowing again. Whenever I say something like, "we have too many books" I get a look that says, "you're talkin' nonsense."

[casey]

Having spent time in a battered women's shelter, I will endorse your donations of old books. Course, the place I spent time didn't really have very many literary ladies there, but I was there and I'm litersomething, I mean, I can and enjoy reading and all and was bored to death and ended up babysitting other people's kids while they went to their meetings. Long story short...donate your used books folks!