HEALTH HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Thanks to Alyssa Harley)

Comments

[sthnbelle]

Seems more like the "DUUUHHH" headline of the day to me....

[mm]

and how many obese children have they eaten????

[Bãrön vønKlyff]

I love bad editors...

So, watching TV ads make you eat 130% more obese children. What is the normal amount of obese children you should be eating? Is there an FDA requirement?

[Lairbo]

And that's British food these kids are scarfing down. Imagine what the stats are for the good-tasting stuff here in the ol' Fast Food Nation US of A?

[mm]

so that's what really happened to Hansel and Gretel

[DeskDiva]

YESSSSS!!! mm - you can join the Roving Band of Rogue Proofreaders, too!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I usually only eat one fat kid, but when I'm watching TV I have sometimes eaten three.

[Keilwerth LA]

TV never made anyone eat anything ever...
...piss poor parents on the other hand...

[«LabSpecimen»]

Obese kids taste like chicken.

[Siouxie]

I'm on a strict skinny kid diet.

[Meanie the Blue]

Kids. The other white meat.

[justkristie]

Jonathan Swift would be so proud...

[Keilwerth LA]

ah, a modest proposal reference

life is good

[Mot the Hoople]

Don't get many obese kids in this neck of the woods but Simon Cowell and the rest of the Idols team are working to change that.

[Meanie the Blue]

Kids were skinnier in Swift's time though. Not enough meat on the bones.

[Clean Hands]

"Get in ma belly!"

[Meanie the Blue]

*Puts baby back ribs on tonight's menu*

[Siouxie]

LOL CH & Meanie!!!

[Hammond Rye]

I personally find the obese children to be softer and retain a great flavor. They are far superior to the free-range children that you sometimes get at less respectable retailers.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

You actually shop for free-range children? Around here, we go "Chevy Hunting" for them.

[Siouxie]

Hammie, I personally prefer organic.

[baligurl]

Has anyone tried the Chinese kids? Oh, I'd just want another in an hour, anyway...

[baligurl]

Has anyone tried the Chinese kids? Oh, I'd just want another in an hour, anyway...

[Annie Where-but-here]

Gives new meaning to "Kid's Meal."

[baligurl]

frickin' bot...

[DeskDiva]

Yeah, yeah. BTDTBTTS.

[Annie Where-but-here]

again with the Swedish meatballs.

[DavetheRed]

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...

[val]

I hear fat kids are rather greasy.

[baligurl]

Maybe, Val, but I have a fat cousin who swears he sweats gravy in the summer, so that'd be handy.

[ken in jax]

You people need serious psychiatric help. However, I hope you don't get it. You wouldn't be nearly as funny...

[Annie Where-but-here]

ken, actually we could could use some humorous psychiatric help.

[posted by]

T.V ads don't make fat kids , Fat Billygoats make fat kids.

[Annie Where-but-here]

I didn't think tv ads had that many calories. Especially the Chinese ones. They're Lo Phat.

Now tv dinners....

[jimbolauski]

It's true I do enjoy my soylent green more after watching commercials. I never knew that soylent green was made from obese children though.

[southerncal]

Kiddie fois gras..........not in Chicago!

[Annie Where-but-here]

I'm sure they could find some way to exercise.

[DeskDiva]

ANNIE! That was really uncalled for. At least you could have found a guy with good thighs....

[Annie Where-but-here]

I know exactly what would drive them outside.

[Bethie]

It is clear that we need to destroy all food immeditely for the sake of humanity.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Sorry, DD - I wasn't staring at his thighs. Maybe this guy is more to your liking.

[DeskDiva]

Annie. NO. I prefer men with more well-toned thighs.

[Annie Where-but-here]

ok, she hates me. My work here is done.

[Annie Where-but-here]

simul with DD on that! I need a shower....yeesh.

[DeskDiva]

Heh heh. Just make sure Hammie ain't got no cams up....

[Annie Where-but-here]

Deskdiva has frightened all the boys away...again.

[DeskDiva]

*crosses arms over more than ample chest*

I HAVE NOT. PTHTHTHTHTH.

*pouts*

[Annie Where-but-here]

I don't get why you're crossing your arms over this.

[random thunking]

I'm not going to stand for all this linking to BM pix. Dammit.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Subtle, random. I still had to peek, though. Just for the scary thrill of it. *shudder*

[CJrun]

As a young punster I wrote and outraged paper that accused Jonathon Swift of being wasteful for not using all that was available, such as skinning them and making Kidd Gloves. I was gonna link to an explanation for non-geezers, but the online community all seems to think the phrase refers to treating gently, as you might a kid, as opposed to soft gloves made from young goats! Silly Interwebs!

[DeskDiva]

But I'll bet you'll lay down for it, random! ;)

[Annie Where-but-here]

CJ - try that now in school and you'd end up in a psych-eval class for a while.

[Siouxie]

Damn you people!! I have to come home to THIS???

Someone get me some tweezers?? I need to pluck my eyes out.

[baligurl]

Let's just wax'em, Siouxie.

[Stevie W]

LIVERPOOL UNIVERSITY?

I used to get fat at my school
The teachers that taught me weren't cool
You're holding me down
Making me round
Filling me up with your food

I've got to admit I'm getting fatter
I'm getting fatter
All the time
I have to admit I'm getting fatter
I'm getting fatter since recess time

Me used to be skinny young man
Me holding me wrist with one hand
You gave me some cheese
And now I'm obese
I'm growing as fast as I can

I've got to admit I'm getting fatter
I'm getting fatter
All the time
I have to admit I'm getting fatter
I'm getting fatter since recess time

[ScottMGS]

Toodles (or tatas as Siouxie says) - I'll be offline for a couple days. I know you'll survive and thrive without me. Have fun! Don't do anything I wouldn't do (which really wouldn't restrict you too much).

[DeskDiva]

Oh, Scott - but it won't be nearly as much fun....

*pouts prettily*

[Just Ducky]

*snork* @ Stevie!

Bye, Scott! We'll miss you!

[ScottMGS]

Yes, but think of how much fun it'll be when I get back. Sometimes the wanting is more fun than the having.

*strolls off whistling "Anticipa-a-tion is making me wait...*

[Stevie W]

Boy, you've gotten so overweight,
So overweight, in no time
Boy, you've gotten so overweight,
So overweight, in no time

I never show you the toy ads
I only show you the food commercials
And in the middle of the chocolate turtles
You break out

Boy, you've gotten so overweight,
So overweight, in no time
Boy, you've gotten so overweight,
So overweight, in no time

[CJrun]

Double Stevie *snork*, speaking of whom,

OT
I am looking for input on helping a non-computer brother pick out his laptop. Emphasis on music/ media. He's narrowed it down to maybe these two:

http://www.americanmusical.com/item--i-APP-MACBOOK-PAK.html

http://www.americanmusical.com/item--i-RAI-SKETCHPAK.html

Appreciate any thoughts, as I'm a Windows person with little media need.

EndOT

[Wyo Cowboy]

so I'm thinkin' we should just outlaw advertising.

's OK with me. I already know what I want, and where to get it. Life's not that complicated.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Wyooooo! If not for advertising, this blog probably wouldn't exist.

[Wyo Cowboy]

we would have somewhat less to blog about I suppose.

[CJrun]

Think of all the unemployed Snake Oil hucksters out west!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Yes. Thank goodness for idiots, without whom the world would be a bit less entertaining.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Simul-insult with CJ....great.....

[Wyo Cowboy]

Perhaps I was a bit hasty. Such a law may make the Super Bowl much less interesting.

[Annie Where-but-here]

If it weren't for the ads, I wouldn't care to watch the Stupid Bawl.

[Just Ducky]

Here I stand snack in hand
Stuff my face till I’m full
When it’s gone TV’s still on
Feel the Cheezit’s pull
Everywhere junk food’s glare
Full color display
I can see them taunting me
And I hear them say

Hey you got so wide; how much you weigh?
Hey you got so wide; how much you weigh?

How can I even try?
I can never win
Hearing ads, seeing ads
And I have three chins
Now I should just be good
Push those chips away
I’m so round; it’s unsound
Yet, I scarf down Lay’s

Hey you got so wide; how much you weigh?
Hey you got so wide; how much you weigh?

[CJrun]

*singes Duck feathers with Bic*

[Just Ducky]

QUACK!!!!
*plucks out singed feathers*
Watch where you aim that flame, there, CJ!

[Meanie the Blue]

Ah, I'm stuffed. Anyone for dessert?

[Wyo Cowboy]

Meanie, I love their chocolate! especially the eggs, they've got such cool prizes inside!

[CJrun]

Sorry, Meanie... that kid needs fattening up!

[CJrun]

And meantime, I'm a broken record... Mountain and West Coast, enjoy Tina Fey, a National Treasure.

[Siouxie]

*borrows El's zipper™*

Here's my very late and sick lame attempt...with my sincere apologies to Wacko Jackson Weird Al.

They told you ads will make you wanna eat obese kids
Don't want a skinny one, so get one with a lot of meat
Just gather up your friends for a tasty football treat
And eat it

It's yummy, it's goooooooood

So eat it (eat it) eat it (eat it)
Get your fat kid and beat it
Grilled on the barbie
Fried in a pan
Baked in the oven
Tastes just like ham

Just eat it (eat it) eat it (eat it)
Whatever you do, don't re-heat it
Some taste like chicken
Some taste like lamb
Tender and juicy
It's better than Spam

Just eat it eat it
munch munch chomp chomp
Eat it! eat it! oooooooooo

*returns the zipper™*

[Just Ducky]

*Ewwwwsnork* at Siouxie! You're so baaaaaad! ;-)

[Annie Where-but-here]

Guys, I want to share this story with you. I thought it took a lot of guts to write. The support it got from readers was amazing, too.

[Wyo Cowboy]

Sioux, you should stick around just a little longer some evenings.

Just sayin'.

;)

[Stevie W]

I want you
I want you so fat
I want you
I want you so fat, it's driving mr bats
It's driving me bats.

She's.....so.....HEAVY!!!!!!

[Annie Where-but-here]

who's 'mr. bats'? Is that like "Miss Daisy"?

[wxgurl]

OK, the kid in the ad earlier has some seriously white teeth! You can tell he has NOT eaten any of the candy he advertises.

As for me, I am on a lower fat diet, so only low fat kids for me.

Annie - you are right, that story did take a lot of guts to write. I am actually surprised that it was printed, and excited that it was all at the same time!

[Stevie W]

Goddammit I knew someone would pick that up. "It had to be you....."

[Annie Where-but-here]

wxgurl - check out the web board commentary -80 pages worth - finally exhausted the moderator!

Stevie - what can I say - it's what I do. ;^p

[Stevie W]

Anniething you can do I can do too.

*purposely modifying original line in chivalrous modesty*

[CJrun]

Yeah? Well I can jump a hurdle, even in my girdle!

Plus I notice everybody is being very shy about the 512 versus 1 Gig RAM or the 1.6 versus 1.8 Gig processor. Thanks, cowards,! I already have a dumb look on my face, must we pass this on to the rest of the family?

[Deskdiva]

CJ - I don't really want to know about your girdle. Just sayin'. ;)

[Just Ducky]

CJ, does that make you a hurdle-girdle man? ;-)

Can't help you w/the computer questions; sorry. My motto is: more power!

[CJrun]

I'm with you, Tim Taylor Ducky, but one has more power in the RAM department and the other has more power in the processor. I suppose that when he calls tomorrow, I'll weigh in with the faster processor in the MacBook, but I've never heard of Rain and music-types may have. ProTools is awesome software and it comes on the Rain. I just don't know which would be better for him. I'd take the Mac in a heartbeat with the faster processor and Office 2004.

[Stevie W]

Sorry, cj, I too must plead ignorance on the subject. If I had to pick, I guess I'd say do as I did when I was young - take the abacus that has more beads.

[Just Ducky]

Good luck, CJ!

Stevie: the abacus had already been invented when you were young? ;-)
BTW, good work on the Beatles songs! I couldn't resist chiming in!

[Meditrina]

CJ - I am (perhaps behind) thrilled that you are talking to assisting the challenged bro with said task.

Annie - that article: California is a trip. NTTAWWT.

[Just Ducky]

Nighty-night, all! Sweet dreams!

[wxgurl]

*tiptoes into blog...plugs in coffeepot for early risers...sits out hot, fresh, homemade cinnamon rolls...turns on fan to circulate the smell of coffee and rolls...waits for anyone else to wake up*

[Mot the Hoople]

CJ, if you get a chance to read this it might help. I bought a laptop when I was in the US, it's an HP Pavilion model DV6326US. It's specially geared up for multi-media applications and I got it at a fantastic price of $699 after rebates from Circuit City. I'm extremely happy with the machine and recommend it heartily. Basically it has 1GB ram, 120GB, 1.7GHz Intel Pentium Dual Core pocessor.

[Mot the Hoople]

Hi wxgurl, coffee smells good.

[wxgurl]

morning Mot! Things are very quiet here this AM. This is not normal for this group!

[Mot the Hoople]

Maybe some have to actually do some work for a change.