WHO WANTS TO BUY THIS SLIGHTLY USED DIAMOND RING?

(Thanks to David Keener)

Comments

[mudstuffin]

"To recover the missing ring, the Stark County Sanitary Engineer had to be called in. At about 4:15 p.m., sanitary workers sucked the ring out of Turk’s toilet."

hoo, boy. i suddenly like my job. a lot.

[funniegrrl]

Key quote: "... we alerted both jails that whenever he had a movement to scrutinize it."

[mudstuffin]

the only poop-sucking i do is figurative, not literal.

[mm]

the guy was fond of carrots??

[Chaz]

a Brentanos ring....

[Siouxie]

ewwwwwww

I'll pass.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

See. Poo(h) is worth more than they thought.

[Chaz]

to think, it all started when he swallow the lump of coal. He is so uptight he sh!t a diamond....

[russellmc]

Well honey, the good news is I got you that engagement ring you've always wanted... No, they're supposed to smell like that..

The bad news?...well.....

[Federal Duck]

“It’s pretty difficult for them to say they weren’t involved,” Zink said.

I think they're being pretty biased against the inmates. The so-called "investigators" made absolutely no mention of the Diamond-Barfing Toilet Fairies that have plagued the Detroit area recently.

[billinbossier]

I will never complain about my job again.

[Chaz]

sounds like a job for Mike Rowe (dirty jobs guy)

[writer132]

"Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."

[DeskDiva]

I thought that, too, writer. I loved Cameron Frye.

[JimmyDean'sFuckedUpCousinClyde]

Definitely an inside job, if you know what I mean.
The ring ought to be safe now that it's gone through the legal system.

"I'm Yours" . . . "Up Yours"----What's the difference anymore??

It would take a real asshole to let go of a ring that valuable.

[sthnbelle]

Chaz, I LOVE Mike - I'm trying to think up something to get him to my area, so I can marry him!

[Schadeboy]

"Instead, we alerted both jails that whenever he had a movement to scrutinize it."

Someone notify Mike Rowe.

[Schadeboy]

You know what I hate most of all? I hate it when I thought I read through all of the comments, then thought up my own really witty one, and post it, and then go back through and find that I didn't have an original thought after all. Right Chaz?

[Chaz]

I am famous for that (speed reading is not my forté)...

but today, y'all didnt read like 10 posts. Lazy points.

I love you guys!!!

[Addicted to 24]

Talk about your diamond in the rough.

[writer132]

Schadeboy: Thanks for the addiction! I've been playing Boomshine every day now. ;)

[Renee (the First)]

SNORK at Fed.

Also, Diamond-Barfing Toilet Fairies WBAExcellentNFARB.

[a different dave]

Watson:
However did this diamond appear in the prison toilet?
Sherlock: It's Alimentary, my dear Watson.

[Jessica R.]

This happened right here in Canton, Ohio. We are so proud of our smart criminals! I wonder why the Canton City School District is in academic emergency?

[Stevie W]

Color, corn, carrots, and consistency.

[Layzeeboy]

I know plenty of people who think they sh!t diamonds.

[Just Ducky]

Apologies to Gary Lewis & the Playboys:

Who wants to buy this diamond ring?
She took it off her finger now; she said it really stinks
This diamond ring doesn’t shine like it did before
And this diamond ring has a stench that you can’t ignore
So if you’ve got someone who won’t mind poo
This diamond’s for you.

This stone is genuine, it’s true; trust me
We fished it from the toilet down the hall in Cellblock C
This diamong ring used to be something beautiful
And this diamond ring can be cleaned; I’m not slinging bull
But if you’re smart, you’ll give this ring to your love
Wearing really thick gloves.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Everybody in the whole cell block
Was watchin' for the jailhouse rock.

[Laura Vona]

The part that cracked me up most is that the thing still had the price tag on it.
I used to sell fine jewelry and I've gotten a lot of wierd returns in my day but I would love to be a fly on the wall when the cops return this item to the buisness that rightsully owns it.

How the hell are they going to re-sell that?!?

'A diamond is forever' my ass.
*snork*
That diamond is done.

[I pooted]

I wouldn't care who pooted it out, for $30,000 I'll take it!

[qsman]

Hmm, I would love to be in the courtroom when this evidence was presented. The testimony of the guy who fished it out would rival the stink.

[harleen]

If anyone wants to buy a House in Long
Island, just contact me at [email protected]

[Laura]

Diamond ring for your beloved that doesn't burn holes in your pocket Choosing an engagement ring is never an easy task. One engagement ring that is slightly used...Maybe your girl will appreciate it. :)

[Matthew]

Gift something elegant to your loved ones this season
http://www.twin-diamonds.com/