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March 12, 2007

SQUIRREL TERRORISM UPDATE

Finally, the story is starting to get national attention.

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Eeeek! I don't want to be the first one in Miami to be attacked by a suicidal squirrel!

Flaming rodents from the sky,
they crash the grid and then they die.
Squirrels that burn by day or night,
Leaving us without our light.

Burning fur upon their head,
they bravely jump and wind up dead.
One hundred squirrels today will test,
but only three win 'Tyson's Best'.

*c'mon coffee, work dammit*

fivver - that is EXCELLENT!!
You don' need no steenkeeng coffee.

Fine. Now I can have nightmares about hundreds of squirrels marching with little green berets and little M-16s and little claymores and little entrenching tools and little...

Sheesh...that squirrel guard isn't even wearing a uniform. No wonder it doesn't work.


*Heads for coffeepot, humming "Undercover Squirrel Guard.."*

Suicide Squirrels would be an excellent name for a rock band, right?

Two snaps up for fivver.

Peter Smallwood. Repeat that to yourself, and just try not to snork recall this blog's policy of not making fun of names.

The real story is a guy with the unfortunate name of "Peter Smallwood".

Dang it, Meanie! You beat me too it!

I must be a half cup of coffee ahead of you, Bep.

Peter Smallwood & the Suicide Squirrels?

This is serious, you guys. We actually had one of the lil critters get fried on the electric line in our yard. Yum, it was tasty!
TJ, Decatur, Georgia

TJ - I used to live on Mimosa Dr. (off of Kirk Rd.). Happened to me there too one Saturday. Was slowly waking up when there was a loud explosion and the power went off. Really wrecked the mood.

why not let the squirrels bury the wires....

Finally, the story is starting to get national attention.

True, it is national attention, but it is in USA Today. It might as well have been in the National Enquirer. True, USA Today is only slightly more believable, but at least people read the Enquirer.

*snork with acorn and oak leaf clusters @ Staff Sgt. fivver*

A little while ago I looked out my kitchen window to see two of the little critters gallivanting on my front porch and in the garden. The weather's warmed up, and they're out looking for food. Oh, joy...

A couple of years ago, our condo development was re-sided with vinyl. The squirrels used to run up the old cedar siding, but now they can't get a grip.

Encouraging hawks and falcons to hang out in one's neighborhood would go a long way to naturally controlling the squirrel population... as long as they don't self-immolate on the electric transformers.

We've been told that the wires can't be buried in north Georgia because of the "piedmont."
http://georgiawildlife.dnr.state.ga.us/assets/images/148.png

Also described thusly: "The Piedmont Province contains a series of rolling hills and occasional isolated mountains. Rivers and ravines are found throughout this province."

This sounds really lovely but what they don't tell you is the Piedmont Region involves ginormous slabs of granite just a few feet below the dirt in your yard. Ha ha! We've had two 80 ft red oaks fall, one on our house, because there isn't enough room for their roots. (Unfortunately, these giant trees don't LOOK dead so you don't know they're fixin' to fall on you.) If only a few of them fell directly on the squirrels, it would help our cause.

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