OREGON

The Plenty of Spare Time State

(Thanks to DavCat14)

Comments

[Clean Hands]

I sweartagod if my state legislator votes for this, I'm gonna run against him next time around.

[AFKAT]

Double first?

[Esther]

I'm assuming this will be available dirt cheap.

[Siouxie]

There's more than one type?

[Edgar Greenberg]

The dirt on Oregon.

[jon]

We are trying to highlight the importance of soil to our state

Isn't soil important to every living system... not just Boregon?

[Edgar Greenberg]

Clearly you'd run against him. I mean you want to keep your hands clear, whereas he is venerating soil

[MareBear]

Up here in Minnesota, we've got a state muffin, grain, juice, and now there's a bill in to name a state amusement ride. It would be the Tilt-A-Whirl, which was invented here. Now, since this is a budget year, I guess it would be too much to ask that they, oh, say, fund the state agencies and programs before naming a state amusement ride.

[Schadeboy]

Thank you, Jon, I was just about to point that out.

[Hammond Rye]

Clean Hands: "Did you vote for Jory as the State Dirt?"

Legislator: "Why, yes I did."

Clean Hands: "Why did you do that?"

Legislator: "To finally shut up the damned fool who keeps proposing it. You can't just shoot idiots like that anymore."

Clean Hands: "Pity."

[Edgar Greenberg]

Jory to the world, the soil has come.

I don't know the rest; I'm Jewish.

[Schadeboy]

You gotta love gov'mint. Their always looking for ways to waste money. If I were allowed to use that kind of spending mentality in my home, I'd have a kick-butt entertainment system, all the power tools I could use, and a high-end gaming computer network instead of a house, food on the table, and clothes to wear. But I have a wife who keeps bringing up this weird concept called "priorities".

[Siouxie]

*Votes for CH for...uh...dirtbag Oregon State Legislature dude*

[Annie Where-but-here]

Lots of states have state dirts(my dad's a soils engineer). For instance, here's the state dirt for Colorado.

[Hammond Rye]

Nice try, AWBH.

[Edgar Greenberg]

Dirtbags!

In other news Dave Berry has been located. It is not known whether he wrote a book.

[DeskDiva]

CH - I'll move to OR just to vote for you.

[DeskDiva]

Clean Hands for State Legislator!
Yes, of Oregon!

[Siouxie]

LOL Annie...I was escared to click.

[Clark Kent]

Our Legislature here actually debated a bill to make Arkansas's the possessive for the state instead of Arkansas' which is what AP recommends....

This inane topic actually generated a half dozen letters to the editor pro and con, proving once and for all that some people REALLY need to do more drugs....

[Mary Juana]

speaking of drugs, guess what Oregon's state weed is

[Clean Hands]

Thank you for your support!

I'll be running on a platform of Love and Boogers.

[Siouxie]

That could get kinda sticky there, CH (iykwim)

[Clean Hands]

Yeah, what about it?

Oregon crop values:
1 Marijuana $473,972
2 Hay $346,751
3 Wheat $195,018
4 Vegetables $169,425
5 Pears $71,649
6 Sweet Cherries $42,747
7 Grapes $34,823
8 Peppermint $29,614
9 Apples $23,628
10 Hops $20,729
11 Cranberries $16,156
12 Corn $13,066
13 Sugarbeets $12,673 x
14 Barley $7,695
15 Oats $3,216
16 Beans $2,998
17 Peaches $2,448
18 Honey $2,291 xx
19 Spearmint $1,983

[DeskDiva]

And Gumballs....

[Esther]

ahem...CH, I believe that platform is already taken...

[Annie Where-but-here]

Clark - Jazzzz brought that topic up a couple of weeks ago. But keep going to those remedial reading classes. They seem to be helping.

Dude, don't bogart the jory, man!

[Esther]

You seemed to have that list a little too handy there...

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I'm guessing that #7 is grapes you eat and not grapes you ferment?

[Annie Where-but-here]

CH - half the items on your list are euphemisms for mj.

[Clean Hands]

Esther, I found the info via a quick Google search. :-P

Not sure, DP Chris...

[Siouxie]

10 Hops $20,729

That's your annual brewing budget, hmm?? CH?

[Clark Kent]

Leave it to Jazz to beat me to the punch.... dammit.

I usually only read the top entry when i have time to check in.... I"m probably about 1,200 topics behind this week...

[Clean Hands]

AWbh, I wouldn't know about that. :)

[Clean Hands]

Heh. I wish, Siouxie. No, I'm a pretty small-scale brewer, not more than a few batches a year.

[Esther]

...and the cost of naming dirt is roughly equal to the gross annual crop value...

[DeskDiva]

Personally, I was asspresuming that #7 was grapes of wrath...

[sthnbelle]

Since they have lots of spare time

[Addicted to 24]

This is what happens when you dont let people pump their own gas.

[Beppie]

And the politicians can be the official state dirtbags!

[DeskDiva]

HEY - But not CH! His hands are always clean!

[Clean Hands]

Well, Addicted, like the residents of New Jersey, folks who live here in Oregon aren't competent to pump their own, ya know? (Plus it makes for a terrific makework jobs program for people who have no marketable skills.)

Who else is shocked, shocked that Oregon has the fourth-highest gas prices in the country? Personally, I'm surprised that we don't come off worse than that.

[Joe Dirt]

COOL!!

[Clean Hands]

Well, Diva, that's why I'm not qualified to be a politician. :-/

[DeskDiva]

Sad to say. But you're the only one I'd vote for!

[sthnbelle]

And yet NJ is among the lowest - go figure!

[Edgar Greenberg]

New Jersey owns all the refineries and has only a 9¢ gas tax.

[Edgar Greenberg]

And if you take a bribe and then use a lot of soap, are you still Clean Hands?

[Clean Hands]

Fortunately, Oregon's Legislature has found time for other important topics.

[Clean Hands]

Edgar, according to this page, New Jersey charges 14.5¢/gallon, and Oregon 24.9¢. (Considering that the evil oil companies make about a dime a gallon, it sure puts the complaints about "obscene profits" into perspective...)

[Addicted to 24]

Well I get to pay 0.34 cents per gallon. I love my state, I love my state.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Doesn't Oregon have like zero state taxes? So they tax gas? And I don't believe you're allowed to pump your own there, either, so add service costs. Something about a Oregroanian not extinguishing his gumball and starting an impromptu Arco bonfire.

[Glix]

I knew it was around here somewhere.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Glix - "Houston Black soils are recognized throughout the world as the classic Vertisols, which shrink and swell markedly with changes in moisture content."

*dirty snork!*

[Annie Where-but-here]

Uh-oh - I sense an upcoming lecture from our own soils expert, CJ.

[Clean Hands]

We have no state sales tax, but believe you me, we do have state income taxes, metro region assessments, county and city property taxes, and even (until it mercifully died) a county income tax.

Every state that I'm aware of taxes gasoline, ostensibly to fund road maintenance and construction (though a lot of that money gets diverted into utopian mass-transit projects these days).

I'm not familiar with the history behind the ban on self-serve gas, but it's probably much as you describe. Hello, Darwin calling on line one.

[DeskDiva]

Ask him if he still stands behind his theory....

[silver]

Hey, also from Oregon here, but I am from the eastern part of the state.... you know, the one that people often forget exists. I believe teh ban on self-service gas was supposed to provide income for some sector or other of the workforce, which on this side of the mountains is dwindling.

Not that we need a state soil.

And Washington's income from weed is approximately twice that of Oregon's, according to WSU. Of course, they may have just taken into account WSU's campus, but whatever.

[Clean Hands]

You're forgetting about Reed College, silver - they consume enough to support most of Hawai'i's industry. :-)

[Data]

Well, I am definately not going to go to Oregon any time soon. Not that I was going to, anyway, what with pervert cops frisking you before you get onto airplanes. That and the fact that this only conferms that Oregonians have nothing better to do. No, that would be mean to say. Oregonian LEGESLATURES have nothing better to do.

[writer132]

State DIRT? [email protected] them!

[writer132]

Actually, AWBH, it was I who got the Arkansas apostrophe story posted. Dave even took a poke at me for accidentally sending it in twice. D'oh.

[Annie Where-but-here]

oops, sorry writer132. I guess Jazzzz's comments were more memorable.
(zzzing!) ;)

[Meanie the Blue]

I've been wondering if I would ever work this into the blog. In engineering school I took a couple of semesters of soil mechanics, with a distinguished professor whose name this blog would definitely never make fun of.

Presenting .....

[Repuda D Beuta]

what's wrong with that name meanie?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Oooh, I get it now..."Oregon"..."Oregano"...

[writer132]

Touché, Annie. Touché.

[Glix]

Annie, your *dirty snork* reminded me of:

TEN TIMES THE SIZE

The 6th grade science teacher asked her class, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" No one answered for a long time until little Mary stood up, angry, and told the teacher that she should not be asking 6th graders a question like that. She was going to tell her parents, who would tell the principal, who would fire the teacher!
The teacher ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Finally Billy stood up and said that the body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.
The teacher said "Very good, Billy." Then she turned to Mary and said, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
1) you have a dirty mind,
2) you didn't read your homework,
and
3) one day you will be very, very disappointed."

[Meditrina]

*snork* glix. Good one.

[Siouxie]

American Idol Update

I am now on a blogging strike until they boot Sanjay OUT!!

I hope to see you all tomorrow...

This has been your American Idle Idol Update.

[Siouxie]

oh and a non-blogging *snork* to Glix!

[Just Ducky]

*stimulating snork* @ Glix!

Mine eyes have seen the jory as I walk along the road
I am tramping through this reddish dirt where Christmas trees are growed
And I’d like our legislators to kiss big Australian toads
God’s truth, their brains are gone.

Jory, jory, that soil rules, yeah
Jory, jory, bunch of fools, yeah
Jory? What about our schools, yeah
God’s truth, this can’t go on.

I have seen the legislators when debating a new bill
They just love to listen to themselves; it really makes me ill
I think that we should introduce them to ol’ Fayed’s drill
Would he nuke Oregon?

(Chorus)

They had quite a conversation on the merits of this soil
Must be nice to have a job where you don’t ever have to toil
But the nonsense from these state employees makes my blood just boil
What a bunch of morons!

(Chorus)

These folks keep sounding like they all sustained blows to their heads
Thoughts of who will win the next election fill me full of dread
I wish we could appoint Jack Bauer to run things instead
He’d be nobody’s pawn.

(Chorus)

So once again our congressmen continue wasting time
They would rather ponder dirt than deal with poverty and crime
I say that we the people should not pay them one thin dime
Perhaps, then, they’d move on.

(Chorus)

[Siouxie *not really blogging*]

AWESOME Ducky!!! LOL

[D. Esker]

I am an actual geologist, with a degree and everything, and I have to admit that the concept of a 'state soil' is pretty stupid.

[Meanie the Blue]

Hallelujah! to JD! Can I get an AMEN!?

[Jazzzz]

amen!!!!!!!!

[Annie Where-but-here]

You got an AMEN.

[Mot the Hoople]

Annie, that's what I shout when I get a woody. AMEN

[Meanie the Blue]

Thank you, sisters and brothers of the First! Congregation of the Heavenly Oosik.

[Siouxie]

Jesus says AMEN!

[Edgar Greenberg]

Wow Siouxie, you must have really made your views heard. That must have been the shortest boycott ever.

[Meanie the Blue]

Praise the L0rd and pass the ammunition!

[Not Siouxie]

Whom is this Siouxie you talk of, Edgar Greenberg?

[Just Ducky]

Wow, thanks, gang! Amen.

[Meditrina]

Sweet Jesus! It's a full blown revival on the blog. I'll pass on the bread (carbs, you know), but pass the sacramental wine over here.

Amen!

[Siouxie]

Nite folks!! It's quite enlightening...as usual!

Sweet dreams to all

pssst....Edgar?? you didn't really think I meant it, did ya??

[Siouxie]

*throws a 'been' up there*

nytol

[Meditrina]

Meanie - I had no idea you are a DChicks fan. Love that song!

[posted by]

.

[Stevie W]

It's time to play....NAME....THAT....DUNE!!!

[crossgirl]

damn. i missed the prayer meeting. starts licking picking up communion cups and stray crumbs.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Sorry I missed the festivities last night, but this seems appropriate at this point...

Robin Hood: Rabbi, you seem to be on the side of good. Will you come and share with us some of your food, some of your council, and perhaps... some of your wine?
[Merry Men laugh]
Rabbi Tuckman: Council and food, that's well and good. But this is sacrimental wine! It's only used to bless things.
Merry Men: Ahhhhhhhh...
Rabbi Tuckman: [pauses] Wait a minute! There's things here! There's rocks, there's trees, there's birds, there's squirrels. Come on, we'll bless them all until we get vashnigyered
[drunk]
Rabbi Tuckman: Join me!
Robin Hood: Let's hear it for the Rabbi!
Merry Men: [Cheer]

[Siouxie]

And a *snork* to Chris & his Gay Merry Men!

[smith johnson]

HI

I like your forum

Oregon Alcohol Addiction Treatment