NO ONE OF EITHER GENDER SHOULD READ THIS ARTICLE
(Thanks to someone called "Bones")
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FIRST to agree?
Posted by: marfie | March 05, 2007 at 06:04 PM
Speaking of my ex-wife.....
Posted by: Mike Pontillo | March 05, 2007 at 06:04 PM
Boy, two compelling reasons to have sex - death and "breakage".
Posted by: marfie | March 05, 2007 at 06:06 PM
Let me also add: ewwwwwwww...
Posted by: marfie | March 05, 2007 at 06:07 PM
My first post! Thanks, Judi!
I mean... um... I'm sorry.
Posted by: Bones | March 05, 2007 at 06:09 PM
Male spider: Hey, baby, wanna fool around?
Female spider: Put a cork in it!
Male spider: Okay!
Female spider: WTFBBQ!?!?
Male spider: ...Oh, that wasn't such a good ideeeeeeeeyyyyyaaaaahhhhh !!!!!
Posted by: Cat R. | March 05, 2007 at 06:10 PM
Dang, Bones, I was just about to send that!
Congrats anyway.
Posted by: pogo | March 05, 2007 at 06:15 PM
Hmmmmm. Not necessarily a bad thing.
Does it vibrate?
Posted by: Cheryl Howard | March 05, 2007 at 06:23 PM
I would need YEARS of therapy...
Posted by: baligurl | March 05, 2007 at 06:23 PM
Well, tampons work in a similar fashion....
I'm at work, but TypePad says they're (not there or their) working on whitelisting my ISP (gee, somehow that does not make me feel a lot better). Greetings to all.
Posted by: Kathybear | March 05, 2007 at 06:28 PM
"Did I leave something at your place the other night?"
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 05, 2007 at 06:31 PM
Let's see here... She's cruel and vicious and has all the power, he's doing everything he can to get in there and make babies...
Does this remind us of anyone?
Posted by: Bones | March 05, 2007 at 06:31 PM
Yikes, that's just like my ex-girlfriend. Except for snapping my dangly-bobbins off in her. Oh, and the post-coital cannibalism. And the 8-legged insect thing.
Ok, this isn't going where I wanted it to, but the fact that this reminds me of my ex-girlfriend at all says something. Although I'm not sure what. Am I typing out loud again?
Check, please!
Posted by: Federal Duck | March 05, 2007 at 06:40 PM
*S@A*!
Soooo, MP; are you saying she was awarded custody of the dangly bits?
Posted by: CJrun | March 05, 2007 at 06:42 PM
Spiderman, Spiderman,
Leaves behind what a spider can
Claims his turf -- weird surprise,
Blocks em' out - they can "eat his flies"!
Oh, S#!t!
There's part of Spiderman!
Is he strong?
Listen bud,
He's got jealous, possessive blood.
Can he swing
from a thread
Sure, but now he's a dud in bed
Oh, S#!t!
There's part of Spiderman!
In the chill of night
At the scene of that crime
Like a streak of light
She reacts just in time.
Spidergal, Spidergal
Been knocked up and she's mad as hell
WTF!? BBQ?!
Wait'll you see
What I'm gonna do!
To him, life was one great big bang up
But she gave him the final hang up
Dead dud, that Spidermaaaaan!
Posted by: Cat R. | March 05, 2007 at 06:49 PM
Look....I've already had enough trouble with getting things stuck in weird places..... "Check please!"
Posted by: Punkin (still walking funny) Poo | March 05, 2007 at 06:54 PM
(and *SNORK* @ Cat!)
Posted by: Punkin Poo | March 05, 2007 at 06:56 PM
*snork* @ cat.
Posted by: marfie | March 05, 2007 at 06:56 PM
Aw, shucks. I've been double snorked! :-)
Posted by: Cat R. | March 05, 2007 at 06:59 PM
Excuse me while I go throw up...........*uuurrrrrppppp*
Posted by: Jazzzz | March 05, 2007 at 07:07 PM
*Adds a snork @ Cat R*
Posted by: Just Ducky | March 05, 2007 at 07:08 PM
CatR...Tooooooooooooooooo frikin' funny !!!!!
Posted by: Jazzzz | March 05, 2007 at 07:10 PM
The randy, dandy spider was looking for a mate
After they met, she did retaliate
Out came the male, without his dangly bit
and the randy, dandy spider's life wasn't worth sh!t.
Posted by: marfie | March 05, 2007 at 07:25 PM
*snork* @ marfie - now he's REALLY an 'itsy bitsy spider, without his 'water spout.'
Posted by: Paris & Annie | March 05, 2007 at 07:33 PM
*snork* @ marfie!
Got a black widow spider,
I got a black widow spider
I got a black widow spider; holds me so tight I can't see
I got a black widow spider
She’s tryin’ to make a eunuch out of me
Turn your back on me baby, turn your back on me baby
Turn your back on me baby don't turn babe
Turn your back on me baby
You might just break off my magic stick
Don’t you bite on me baby, don’t you bite on me baby
Don’t you bite on me baby; burnin’ with poison, I moan
I’ll flee you so fast, widow spider, a piece of me you’ll own.
Posted by: Just Ducky | March 05, 2007 at 07:40 PM
JD - you're on a roll today! *snork!*
Posted by: marfie | March 05, 2007 at 07:43 PM
Thanks, marfie! As are you!
*flaps away*
Posted by: Just Ducky | March 05, 2007 at 07:50 PM
And the male spider cares about keeping other guy spiders away from her after he's dead because.....?????
Am I missing something here? Or is it the other way around? *chuckle*
Posted by: Eleanor | March 05, 2007 at 08:02 PM
Excelent point, counselor.
Posted by: Jazzzz | March 05, 2007 at 08:23 PM
Oh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practice to concieve.
Posted by: Beppie | March 05, 2007 at 08:32 PM
*Snork!*
Posted by: marfie | March 05, 2007 at 09:16 PM
Shout out to Beppie!
That's one of my favorite sayings, and how apropos here. Kudos!
Posted by: Eleanor | March 05, 2007 at 09:29 PM
Back from carpools....snorks all around!
Posted by: Cat R. | March 05, 2007 at 10:01 PM
hasty getaway
"Guns don't kill people. Husbands who come home early do." - Larry the Cable Guy
Posted by: Layzeeboy | March 05, 2007 at 10:08 PM
"By breaking off parts of their intromittent organs inside a virgin female," at this point, she's not exactly a virgin, is she? You wouldn't think that males would literaly die to have sex, but I guess spiders don't have many other options.
Posted by: Kristina L. | March 05, 2007 at 11:24 PM
WAIT a minute - Bones? Bones McCoy...is that YOU?
Posted by: Kirk | March 06, 2007 at 12:10 AM
Caught up, SNORK city!
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | March 06, 2007 at 09:36 AM
Try as I might, I can't come up with a "Dammit, Jim" joke for this.
Posted by: Estelle Chauvelin | March 06, 2007 at 10:23 AM
Thanks you for the kudos, Eleanor! :)
Posted by: Beppie | March 06, 2007 at 01:42 PM