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February 22, 2007

U.S. SENIORS

Don't mess with them.

(Thanks to MOTW)

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Yep our seniors are the greatest. Just never get between them and their slot machines in vegas. Trust me I learned that the hard way.

Grandpa kicks @ss

put him in a headlock and broke his clavicle
D@mn

Dave....are you smoking crack?

The dude died from a broken collarbone??? Must have been broken Jack Bauer style, shoved through his eye socket.

WOW. I just hope word of this gets around to other thugs. Caveat robbtor.

Guess they didn't know Rambo was a part of that tour group.

more than likely a large vessel was severed by the broken bone and he bled to death. Could have punctured his lung, but probably wouldn't have died from that. "reap what you sow" comes to mind

Ya know, since 9/11 it's just going to be harder to get away with terrorist-like activity on a vehicle.

Senior citizens fighting and killing would-be muggers in Costa Rica? It's stories like these that keep me reading this blog. Where else would I pick up something like this?

The feel-good story of the day.

I don't know, Momo...maybe an Elmore Leonard novel!

*snork*

"CSI: The Love Boat" will be following shortly.

WTG, Grampa!

I love the part where they just let them get back on the boat and leave without even giving their names. Them bad guys are bad, but the good guys are quite good.

Costa Rican authorities said they did not plan to file charges against the tourists, who left on their cruise ship after the incident.

"They were in their right to defend themselves after being held up," Hernandez said.

AARP will probably give them an award.

Snork, CH - and why aren't you writing for 24?

Now I can get in on my own again, but not with spidersneak! Oy.

He probably hit him with his Walker....Texas Ranger.

snork @ annie!

They weren't going to let a couple of thugs make them miss the 3:00 before-dinner buffet.

I totally thought that said US Senators. I couldn't figure out why foxnews didn't have the story.

Geesh, I need to learn to read.

Me too KD, until just now when you said that. It all makes sense now

Senators would have broken his filibuster, not his clavicle.

snork @ annie!

The blog should send them lifetime passes for the Geezer bus.

*books trip to Costa Rica. Changes date of birth to 196707 so I may travel safely.*

go here now:

http://umtv.miami.edu/offthewire.php

or maybe not. i can't figure it out!

I got no sound.

Or Dave. Although pleasantly content to quietly hang out with Judi...

Judi, as a Presidential Assistant, you need to figure out immediately how to blame the opposing candidates and parties.

Meanie - simple - just say they are anti-humorists.

Sounds as though there is a no-nonsense legal system in Costa Rica. Nice!

(I could probably research that and find out the legal system in Costa Rica sucks, but I won't.)

*hits Annie Double snork key*

"Walker....Texas Ranger."

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha annie.


Got Fiber?

Wondertwin powers activate! Form of: prune!

*joins the "Thought it was Senators Club*

AND, I thought it said that they were retired servicemen FROM the '70's. I had highly witty remarks about going to the tropics in their full-metal jackets, etc.

Nevermind.

Excuse me, I have to go. Emily Litella is calling to discuss Russian Jewelry.

"a retired U.S. serviceman whom officials estimated was in his 70s..."

Agent double oh seventy-seven, licensed to kill. But restricted to daytime hours, and with corrective lenses.

"...their tour bus entered a dangerous sector known as Cieneguita..."

Anybody else think this is a little suspicious?

StvW: I had the same suspicious thought about how they wound up in a dangerous sector on a bus tour. I suppose somebody's already questioning the driver. I just hope it's an old gringo who knows seven ways to kill a guy by breaking his clavicle.

The phrase Hernandez said Segura had previous charges against him for assaults. sorta gives new meaning to that advertisers' cautionary statement, "Batteries not included." ... do it not?

did the thugs call the driver by his first name? Hey, Esteban...uhhhh gringo, si gringo.
Inquiring minds and such....

Stevie W... now that was hilarious... read your post to my family ~

what?? SteveW said sumtin' funny? who knew? (even the bot *snorks* at SteveW)

Yay! I'm back on! Off topic note to anyone who is "blocked" from posting---they told me that someone with my ISP was a spammer therefore they blocked everyone from that ISP (brilliant) so I got blocked. You can just send your ISP number to the web address judi gave somewhere in the January archives (sorry, I should have remembered that!) and it will fix you up.

Well you’re the tough old cookie; retired military
You broke bad guy’s heads, like the one in front of me
That’s OK, let’s see how you do it
Put up your cane, and get down to it!

Get him in a headlock!!
Why don’t you get him in a headlock!
Get him in a headlock!
‘Bye, Jose!

You come in with some seniors; you don’t have hair
But that’s OK; you’re like a bear
Knocked him down; caused him great pain
He won’t get back on his feet again!

Get him in a headlock!
Why don’t you get him in a headlock!
Get him in a headlock!
‘Bye, Jose!

*snork* @ jd!

*SNORK!*@ Pat Geritol.

Costa Rican Coroner #1:"Look, the old dude sent the creep's collarbone right through his carotid artery."

Costa Rican Coroner #2:"Then what are these tire tracks on his chest?"

Costa Rican Coroner #1:"Must be a prior injury."

simul with the Meanie at this late hour. Too bad my teeth are already in the glass on the nightstand.

Another good one from disco, disco duck!

*ducks*

oops

Ty, mofo, and jazzz, but I was inspired by annie's Walker. Hers was funnier than mine. This time.

Pssssst. http://umtv.miami.edu/offthewire.php
Dave is wearing a blue shirt.

Stevie - maybe this time, but...oooh, something shiny!

Thanks, gang! Annie, I feel honored to have received TWO snorks from you today--my work here is done!

(BTW, who's disco?)

The 'something shiny' was Dave's smile. Not that it should matter, but dang, he does NOT look over a minute over 40. Must be all those beers preservatives.

*EL SNORKS*

JD and Pat Benafiber!

nite everyone! time for this geezer to get some rest.

Thanks, Siouxie--and *snork* at Pat Benefiber! Sweet dreams!

Annie, I thought the same thing when Dave was here last month. He must have some secret to looking so youthful. Hey, Dave should write a book about "Dave Barry's Secrets of Perpetual Youth," or something like that. If Dave would be interested at all in someday writing a book, that is.

And, on that note, I will say nighty-night to y'all, and flap off to bed!

nite - jd. Wouldn't that be cool if he wrote a book? He might need help with it. Hmmmm-
"Dave Barry's Beauty Secretions"
-live in Florida - anyone under 70 looks young by comparison
-laugh at people - it's good exercise
-it's the humidity, stupid
-act like a kid, look like a kid
-have joy...and cheetos

*wonders if these seniors were from Miami*

*nope, the muggers weren't shot*

lol, the both o' youse.

Do you know the way to San Jose?
I’m gonna go there soon. I’m gonna ride the geezer bus.
Do you know the way to San Jose?
I’m gonna make damm sure, that they don’t take a thing from us.

Gonna visit Costa Rica.
It’s about a thousand miles from home
Try to steal my wheels, it’s your collarbone
Don’t you think of lifting my hubcaps
Cos all the cars
That pass thru here
They aren’t worth
Busted kneecaps

I’ve got lots to spend in San Jose
I brought a lot of green. I’m gonna get a good hotel.
They have naked French in San Jose
Anywhere there’s a beach, you’re gonna find their Eurosmell

Gringo dough is such a magnet
When you travel, care is such a must
That is why I hide my bills in my truss
Safety’s number one on any trip
At night my cash
Soaks with my teeth
The cup sealed up
With Poli-Grip

Do you know the way to San Jose?
Wo wo wo wo wo, wo wo wo wo wo
Thump thump thump
Wo wo wo wo wo, wo wo wo wo wo
Thump thump thump
Wo wo wo wo wo, wo wo wo wo wo
Thump thump thump...

Hi Stevie (*snork*, BTW)!
It was gettin awful lonely in here.

Hi, Tammy ... Stevie ...

Merely stoppin' by before I fall asleep ... been mostly blurkin' ... might hafta actually do some werk tomorrow ...

Y'all are both doin' a fine job of keepin' me (and a bunch of others) amused ... keep up the good werk ...

*yay*

*snork - he called this werk. It is work if ya do it fer free?*

Nite, all. Gotta get my beauty sleep and get ready for a pun-filled, pants-optional, meatless Lenten Friday. Plus my *snork @ Stevie* button needs new batteries.

simul with the Nightshift Nurse - think the boys are watchin'? Actually, OtheU says he has a real job. Not like the rest of us trust-fund babies.

Barney Lenten?

Arf. Goodnight all.

Trust fund? Where? *swivels neck quickly, narrowly avoiding whiplash* Drat, I think I left mine at the cleaners or something.

Dang. Missed a late-night Annie-simul by that much.

btw - when the day shift is on this blog, punning away while I'm working, I am sooo jealous. Me need funny job. Soon. Before I tancredo somebody's clavicle. Because a mind is a terrible thing.

Ooh ooh. But I did get a Tammy-Annie sammie. Eat yer hearts out, guys.

Arf

oh,my - a Tammy-Annie sammie doggy style simul. That'll wake up the breakfast club.

lol...and your little dog too.

GOODNIGHT!!!!

Annie, do you think Stevie can handle that?
*snicker @ self for "handle"*
*pictures day bloggers gnashing teeth in despair for not being part of a Tammy/Annie sammich*

mmmm.......sammich....hungry.....

OK, this diet thing sucks! Need food now. Just hoping an old geezer isn't guarding the snack machine. I don't want my clavicle broked tonight.

wxgurl - try not to smell my cholesterol deathburgers... or listen to the sounds of my arteries clogging. You might get mad and hire an old man to break my clavicle.

And who're you calling an old geezer wxgurl?

Mornin' bunnies.

Mot, not you!! Just the crazy guy next to the machine...wait, that might be you!

I broke down and had cheetos...who needs a diet anyway!

Favio is surely of no more concern to you but I think Gumede (or whatever the name is) may just be pissing you off right now.

"South Florida Giant Underground Weirdness Magnet" explains a lot. Now that I've read Dave's expose, I can sleep soundly... or not.

*wipes down blogbar, puts out basket of hot cross buns*

*puts unleaded and high-test on to perk*

You are right! We now have Gamede and Humba in the Indian Ocean...what a crazy life!

Did you hear if Favio did any damage? Not familiar with that part of Africa, but I know it's winds were estimated at 115kts as it made landfall which is much higher than we are used to seeing!

JG, I'll have some of that, I love warm, angry lumps of raison encrusted dough . Are you up late or up early?

mmm...hot cross buns...sounds more like a workout video name! Seriously, I have to get off this diet kick.

wxgurl, Cheetos are my downfall, too. ;-)

As for Gamede and Humba, would it help if Jack Bauer shot them in the thigh? Unless American senior citizens on vacation are available for clavicle-busting...

Mot, catch!

*slides hot cross buns down the blog bar, along with butterdish*

I'm up too late again... We have to stop meeting like this. ;-)

Here, wxg... a couple for you, too. Think of them as an antidote to the die in diet. ;-)

Coffee, anyone?

It hit at a place called Vilankulo, where I spent some time when I was very young. The winds gusted up to 120 kph, the highest ever recorded there. Unfortunately the local populace live in shacks that can never withstand weather like that. There has been much flooding in Mocambique which Favio has exacerbated somewhat.

I'm drinking tea now JG, any more coffee and they'll have to scrape me off the ceiling. It's just gone 11:30 here.

I hear you, Mot. Same thing happens to me.

Thanks for the buns JG, I like the fact that we can say they are calorie free!

Mot, thanks for the update. American news did not feel that it was worthy to report, but it seems like it should be bigger news.

*sits out teapot for all*

I am switching to Chamomile so I can sleep when I get off work this AM. I still have 3.5 hours to go!

wxgurl, don't get me up on my soapbox about the insular attitude of the American mass media. If it didn't happen in the US, it didn't happen at all. Is it therefore surprising that 67% of high school kids couldn't even name the adjoining state let alone any country outside the US.

I used to work for the media, and I left for a reason. Seems like all they want is US interests, and the rest of the world be d@mned...I think we need a bigger soapbox, Mot!

*Gets out new coffee maker and turns it on for the early crowd, bot seems happier with this*

Hmmm... I blame my literacy on British schools, where I started out my education. That doesn't quite explain my younger sibs' surprising erudition. That might possibly be blamed on them wanting to keep up with their evil older sisters.

I live in the state of Confusion, the neighboring state is..... the state of Chagrin!

Philosphical question of the day: how many blogits can dance on the top of a soapbox?

I also taught middle school briefly before diving back into weather, and the kids didn't know the capitol of the state we lived in! I about fell out of my chair! Luckily, it had a seatbelt for my protection.

Thanks for the chamomile tea, wxg...

I figured the hot cross buns would be apropos for Lent. I think they traditionally were eaten on Good Friday only. I like them warmed up a bit and slathered with butter.

Hmmm... better get Mot some of that chamomile tea stat... It wouldn't do for him to blow a gasket before he gets to see that gorgeous granddotter.

Mot, I agree, many Americans are woefully ignorant about the rest of the globe. When I was a whippersnapper, we had geography classes and learned stuff like the principle exports of Peru... I think that nowadays people are so overloaded with disjointed bits of data that they just ignore anything that does't affect them directly... unless it's bad weather in South America that wipes out the coffee crop...

I enjoy reading the London Times online to get news and views not ususally seen in the States.

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