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February 19, 2007


It's distinctive.

(Thanks to Cheryl Howard)


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"Did he get distinctive prison garb when he was booked?" one asked.

I'm Famous!!
Someone please start the 15-minute timer.

WTG Cheryl!!

Definitely distinctive.

note to self: start printing "kick me gently" signs

He's distinctive

I'm going to print that distinctive blog entry out using a distinctive font, and mount it in a distinctive frame. I just need to find a distinctive place to hang it in either my distinctive home or distinctive cubicle in my distinctive office building.

Chris, you've got 8 mins left.

Kick me gently
Kick me slowly
Take it easy
Don't you know
That I have never been kicked like this before

some are born to distinction, others have distinctiveness thrust upon them.

ha ha ha that word's funny cause it got 'stinc' in it.

*puts on kicking-@ss boots*

ok, Hammie...turn around.

Awww, Hammie, you say the sweetest things... :)

Poor Barney...it just wasn't good writing, that's all. Also, I counted 5 uses of 'distinctive.'

Umm, err, I was referring to the article.
Nice boots, Siouxie. Are those metal spikes?

btw: "barney lerten" = "Lenten Bar Rye"
"Brr, ten yen ale" also
"Beery Lantern"

glad i could help

I heard he had a good style,
distinctive in its way.
And so I went and read it,
to lighten up my day.
And there he was this news guy,
distinctive in every waaaaay.

Strumming the keys with his fingers,
distinctively churning out news.
I'm kicking him gently with this blog,
kicking him gently with this blog,
kicking his whole butt with this blog,
kicking him gently...with this blog.

Wow, very distinctively meta! Blogging about an article about a blog item about an article... My head hurts. Somebody hold me?

Dear Mr. Lerten:

Now that you have been sensitized to the overuse of descriptors, may we introduce to punctuation?

This > "." is a period. It is used, often times, more than once per paragraph. This useful tool will allow you to separate independent but related thoughts/ clauses and form paragraphs.

This > "," is the comma. It is used within a sentence to indicate a brief pause.

This > :P is just silly, but I threw that in anyway.

You should try these unique and distinctive tools!

You're [not your] Friendly Blog-editors.

CH - I think that means the blog just crawled up inside it's own nether regions and disappeared.

I looked it up, and "unique" and "peninsula" aren't synonyms either.

Just in case anyone is wondering.

In fact, I'm going to start a website for words that aren't synonyms for unique.

I just need something to make it distinctive from all the other ones already out there.

Sounds like barney is distinctively passive aggressive.

Ohhhhhh...sorry, Hammie...my bad.

and yes, metal spikes. are there any other kind??

fivver, awesome!!!!

And purple and green

OK, here's my first use of *snork* on this blog, thanks to CJ.

good one, fivver

To quote Mr. Lerten--
"..a wee bit defensive here: Is using.."

Mr. Lerten: a colon does not signify the beginning of a new sentence. You should not be capitalizing "is".

Please continue to read this blog for more advice that will be useful to you in your career.

Damn! We're getting Pineville all riled up this morning!

SNORKOL at christobol (hey, does the bol stand for 'barfed out loud'?)

fivver, that earworm was distinctively and gratuitously cruel.

Let's feed this to the bot and see if it makes him spew six numbers and letters. It does! It does! See, fivver, you even made the bot feel ill!

Were the six letter and or numbers unique or distinctive?

It's actually Prineville. Named, according to Wikipedia for a Barney Prine. Coincidence? I think not!

Actually Imastranger - On this blog a colon signifies the beginnings of a Tancreado.

Quick, Sioux. Have the Liesol ready!

What if the six letter/digit combo was BOTH unique and distinctive? Hmmm? What then?

unique - Synonyms: unequaled, unequalled, unparalleled
incomparable, uncomparable

The rest of the universe of words out there are pretty much not synonyms.

Then your post will wind up in bot hell and you'll wind up with a case of bot rage.

Hey! I've got an idea! Can we sic the bot on Tancredo???

While we've got the thesaurus out would someone look up another word for thesaurus?

... and the bot made me type "frrq52." If I were "52," I'd be very, very afraid now.

ok...who let one rip??

I hear the Secret Service is beginning to take notice of people persecuting Tancredo.

OMG, I made the column, by name, no less!! I feel very..."distinctive".

Sorry, fiv, thesaurus are extinct and they left no other words.

Pogo - We'll be alright. There's no law against ridiculing him relentlessly for his absurd statements.

congrats, marfie!

"Persecuting," as in mocking mercilessly for his moronic miscues? Or "persecuting," as in sending an evil bot his way to make him type six semirandom numbers and letters before he makes each public statement?

When he fails to be re-elected, losing his seat to a Spanish-speaking immigrant, I can't wait to hear him sobbing, "They tuk are JARBS!"

Med - there's no law against it, but the Secret Service is a branch of the Treasury Dept, as is the IRS. They can make you suffer. Ask Tricky Dick's enemies.

*zips in*

WTG, Cheryl! Would that we could all do this well.

Follow along here: Cheryl gets credit from Dave for an article she sent in and then - in the article she gets her name as well!!

How often has that ever happened?

Cheryl, come out of hiding and take a bow.

Cheryl rocks! She is woman, hear her roar.


I'm not really sure what the 'bol' stands for, but it just can't be "barfed out loud", since it is a source of family pride that we are nearly silent barfers.

Most of you have heard the legends of Lady Smythewycke, who was said to have single handedly saved England by quietly vomiting in her shoes. How she managed it, and indeed, how her distinctively near-silent urping helped save a country, to this day remains a mystery. And one I care not for, as she was no relation.

Anyway, I think it stands for "bravely oblong legs", which I at one time thought was unique.

pogo - Didn't know that. Has anyone told Dave? He might want to be more cautious with his missives.

Silent barfing is, indeed, a prized trait.

I, for one, cannot listen to someone barfing out loud without feeling at least queasy myself.

silly me, i always thought "christobol" was an anagram for "coils throb".

I admire silent barfers, as I am a Sympathy Puker. I hear it, I do it.

Would that our quiet puking were a noble trait. However, its foundation is vice, not kindness. As it is told, an early forebear was cursed with a genetic predisposition to barf while kicking dwarf ponies. Rather than give up this family tradition, he learned to regurgitate more quietly, thus preserving his ability to sneak up on said animals.

Also, "bol" may stand for "brazenly ogles lilliputians" as far as I know.

Way to go Marfie! You made the news! That was a good comment by the way.

Thanks Beppie!

I thought Christobol was a play on "Crystal Ball" and that we had a soothsayer in our midst...

@#%*#@ bot!!!! Ginzu Knives, Vi@gra, your overdue account, comcast, hot $tocks....Take THAT you heartless machine!!!

I feel MUCH better now...

Oh Dear Lord, I think I may have sicced the 'bot on myself permanently with that last rant..er...post.

yep, I did. D@mn...

I thought there was something funny about that article. I just couldn't put my finger on it (52 times).

OMGosh! Posted twice on the same blog story!

*deep bow & a little curtsy* *sniff* "I'd like to thank Dave and Judi for this incredible moment..."

Also. I wonder if this will in any way affect the space-time continuum?

Go, Cheryl! Go, Cheryl!

Go, Marfie! Go, Marfie!

[Wow, people read this blog, huh?]

Blogging about blogging. What a weird world we live in.

Snork @ CH. And also. Hmmmmmmmm?

Sorry, stranger: I believe Barney was correct to capitalize after the colon.

YAY Cheryl!!!

Cristobol is bloggish for "color bits", i.e. quiet barf.

Cristóbal is Spanish for biscrótal Lost Carib.

Christobol is pukegrammer for "Cobol shirt".

Also, mud, I think I will use "throb coils" as my secret agent name.


StevieW, as a professional editor, I disagree with you and Barney on this one. That is a compound sentence and those don't get capitals after the conjoin-er. Sometimes you'll see loose capitalization in the case of captions or titles, but that sentence was just part of the "article".

But if you like, we can agree to disagree.

StevieW, as a professional editor, I disagree with you and Barney on this one. That is a compound sentence and those don't get capitals after the conjoin-er. Sometimes you'll see loose capitalization in the case of captions or titles, but that sentence was just part of the "article".

But if you like, we can agree to disagree.

LTTG, but, YAY, Cheryl, and congrats, marfie!

Also, Mr. Lerten: It wasn't the use of the word "distinctive" four times in an 8-paragraph article that was noteworthy; it was the use of the word "distinctive" three times in one sentence that attracted attention. That, and the fact that the sentence in question was, itself, also a whole paragraph.

Well, I left a 'you' out of mine and leaned west towards Stevie for a capital after the colon. I'm sure the missing 'you' was wrong, now I have to go look up the colon [dang]....

Well...this is Wikipedia and I trust it thoroughly, but since it agrees with all of us, I'll post it:

"In English, a colon may be followed either by a capital letter or by a lower case letter, as the author prefers (unless a capital letter is necessary for a proper noun).[citation needed] No particular consistency is required within a given text, although it is assumed that use of both capital letters and lower case letters after colons, in a single given text, would serve some purpose in communicating the author's desired meaning, rather than simply reflecting carelessness."


Okay, I'll go for that, CJrun. In my world, "desired meaning" conveyed by capitalization might be a quotation or a well-known phrase or adage of some sort, as opposed to the next run-on thought in a writer's mind.

Mojitos all around? The sun is almost over the yardarm here.

Did anyone here read Eats, Shoots and Leaves? I think that would have the definitive answer, but I'm not going to look through it again.

*accepts frosty Mojito* BTW that should have been "...don't trust it thoroughly...." I don't trust Wikipedia at all, but also don't own a copy of Fowler's.

El, I LOVED Eats, Shoots, & Leaves!

For Cheryl:

Barney tried to put us down
(Blogging ‘bout my blog submission)
Just because we kid around
(Blogging ‘bout my blog submission)
Things we said he thought were cold
(Blogging ‘bout my blog submission)
Hope he gripes again; we’ll get bold
(Blogging ‘bout my blog submission)

My blog submission, my blog submission, Barney

He won’t take advice, no way
(Blogging ‘bout my blog submission)
Won’t try those big words we all say
(Blogging ‘bout my blog submission)

He’s trying to defend his composition
(Blogging ‘bout my blog submission)
He can’t, blogging about my blog submission
(Blogging about my blog submission)

My blog submission, my blog submission, Barney

*waves torch and jumps around* @ Ducky!

Cj -- "now I have to go look up the colon."

Sounds like a job for a proctologist.

Interestin' that y'all should mention Fowler's, CJ' ... I merely happened to be checkin' it out before I saw your post ...

I've only looked @ my Third Edition copy, tho I could check my First and Second Editions, if need be ...

From the entry:
As a mark of punctuation (as distinct from a term of rhetoric) it was adopted in English in the 16c. Henry Beadnell's Spelling and Punctuation (edn. of 1919), a standard work at the time and one of Fowler's sources in 1926, remarked that 'it is used to separate those parts of a sentence which have very little dependence on each other in construction, or which are only removed one degree from complete intependence'.
Fowler expressed his own view of the function of the colon more amusingly than helpfully: 'the colon ... has acquired a special function, that of delivering the goods that have been invoiced in the preceding words; it is a substitute for such verbal harbingers as viz, scil., that is to say, i.e., etc.
The most satisfactory guidance is given in Hart's Rules: 'Whereas the semicolon links equal or balanced clauses, the colon generally marks a step forward, from intorduction to main theme, from cause to effect, premiss [sic] to conclution, etc. ...

There's more, but that should suffice (one may merely hope) for the immediate usage moment ...

The entry from the First Edition is briefer, but quite interesting in its premise.

Me too, Just Ducky! Now I'm reading Talk to the Hand, her next book, which isn't as good, but still very amusing.

For those of you who would like to know more about how the title came to be, here's the story:
She has called it Eats, Shoots and Leaves , a title which comes from a joke in which a panda goes into a bar, asks for a ham sandwich, eats it and then takes out a revolver and fires it into the air. When the publican asks him what on earth he is doing, he throws a book on to the bar and growls: 'This is a badly punctuated wildlife manual. Look me up.' The barman flicks through the book and, under the relevant entry, reads: 'PANDA. Large, black-and-white, bear-like mammal native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.'

Congrats Cheryl.

Dave,isn't it cool to have this kind of impact!

So are the Secret Service looking for Tancredo persecuters to persecute them or to enlist them? Maybe they're sick of Tancredo, too.

El & Stranger-My understanding is that capitalization after a colon is not correct, unless it’s followed by a quotation of dialogue. However, in the case of a thought, the writer can choose whether or not to enclose it in quotation marks. Is that sentence a direct quote, or is it Barney’s thought that he chose not to enclose in quotes. I could see where there’d be room to question.

This is just my understanding, based on The Elements of Style, and also on this web site.

That said, since Stranger is an editor, I'd probably trust that judgment. ;-)

Fires up lighter for Just Ducky performance.

Thanks, CJ and Cheryl!

Merely so that the question stays (somewhut) alive, here's whut the AP Stylebook has to say about usage of the colon (in punctualtionalistismness):

(Italics are mine)

colon (:)
• Capitalize the first word after a colon only if it is a proper noun or the start of a
complete sentence: He promised this: The company will make good all the
losses. But: There were three considerations: expense, time and feasibility.
• Colons go outside quotation marks unless they are part of the quoted material.

That explains well what my sense of the issue was. (How's that for a convoluted sentence?)

I also looked at the following website, the first entry that came up when I googled "colon capital."


However, stranger gets points for the "agree to disagree" sentiment.

Stevie W, Stranger, et al.:

My sole point in citing these several references wuz to merely point out that there would seem to be several standards or norms (not Norm's) by which one might choose to operate when selecting "proper" techniques of usage. Specifically in this instance, words that follow the colon.

It all depends upon which "style" you wanna use ... then, go ahead and use it.

(I still thot the entry in my First Edition of Fowler's was the most intriguing ... merely sayin' ...)

Folks, you are amazing. It reminds me of when our sheriff and a county commissioner were fighting, via postings on an article I wrote on Bend.com, and i kept updating the article to reflect their latest exchange, which prompted another exchange, ad infinium.

Anyway, as much stuff as I write in a week, some, ahem, less perfect language will ALWAYS happen. But I really did try to take the comments in the good-natured way they were offered.

BTW, me and Cheryl are old friends, we served on a neighborhood association board together a few years back. She sent me a "kick me-gently" sign to wear today, but my buttons are so large and illuminated, nobody really needs that.

I thank you all for the advice and the very hearty laughter - I used to LOVE reading Dave's columns aloud to the missus, the best monologue in the paper, bar none. I'll try to visit regularly, and if you do the same over in my neck o' cyberwoods, even a fraction of you, the page views will soar and I will be rewarded with riches beyond measure! (Okay, maybe not, but it'll feel good just the same;-0

Barney the "distinctive" (ahem) reporter
KTVZ.com-Bend, Oregon

PS - the blog entry on my site has now been updated to point to and relate a bit of THIS fun exchange. I've also added a link to the video where I talked on-air tonight about this. So now you can see me, even if I can't see you;-)

"I used to LOVE reading Dave's columns aloud to the missus..."

So that explains why she left...

(Just, kidding, Barn. You're playing to a tough crowd here. We know grammar. And we know how to italicize.) Keep up the good humor.

*applauding Barney Lerten for being a good sport*

Barney ... hi ... would you happen to be any relation to that old feller my dad often talked about, Barney Barnsmell?

I wuz never quite sure where he lived, a mere few miles away, apparently ... I only caught glimpses of him on a few occasions, and never got a good look at his physiognomy, but he could always be relied upon to contribute a certain ambiance to any gathering of Elevator Annual Meeting crowd or Friday night dance ...

Merely curious ...

Nah ...

I watched your video link, and I don't think there's any familial resemblance to our Barney ... he appeared to be much taller ...

Oh ... were you sitting down? ... um ... nevermind ...

Hey Barn, just a thought...

Have you ever considered running for Vice President?

Stevie, we know Grammer? who's Grammer?

Barney, Hi!! and welcome. Please do come in often. If everyone that Dave made (good natured) fun of, were as good of a sport as you are, we'd have no Tancredo problems.

Tancredo? I guess I could do a search to find out what that .... hey, where's the search box around here?

As for running for Veep, nope. Why do you ask?;-)

Mornin' blog. *waves to Barney*

*would endorse Barney for Veep* although we'd have to inquire whether he had any musical talent. If so, he'd likely be out of the running.

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