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February 20, 2007

THE NEWS MEDIA

Sometimes, we just suck.

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*hiccup*

oh and FIRST!!

Hat trick???

probably not cuz I'll get the stuuupid bot if I post too soon!

I can't think of any hiccough cures that involve sucking.

But I can guarantee that if she holds her breath long enough, they will stop.

Apparently they are getting tired of covering that pesky war in Iraq. If Britney got the hiccups, it might revive her career....nah, what am I thinking? Dead is dead.

Poor kid, hounded by the media.
Where are all the pictures? I DEMAND more details and graphics!

Waambulance... I like that!

Wow... a hattrick for Siouxie.

This girl has had hiccups for four weeks now and got a free, all-expenses-paid trip to New York out of it. I once had the hiccups. Does that entitle me to a trip to Cleveland?

you mean like snorkeling???

i wonder if i ate enough beans and 'kraut i could convince NBC that i have like permanent flatulence and could get four days expenses paid in new york.

Oo! Oo! I saw a show on this where the doctor cured the hiccupping patient... but I don't recall how.

One solution that was proposed (but he declined to try) was stimulating the vagus nerve rectally. I'm not sure that even four weeks of hiccups would be enough to make me want to have somebody shove a cold, slimy gloved finger into my nethers.

wonders how to make kids get hiccups. i've always wanted to go to nyc.

"We went to the media for one reason only

And that would be what? Fame or Fortune?

but now I just feel like she is being used,"

Well, duh!! The news media (with two exceptions) are even lower forms of life than lawyers (with two exceptions).

*wants to stimulate the bot with a crowbar*

I sure hope she doesn't shave her head.

DBFP
He sucks much less than the rest..

Maybe, if the rest of the News Media had wifely available crack, they wouldn't suck so much. Except on their pipes.

Maybe, if the rest of the News Media had wifely available crack, they wouldn't suck so much. Except on their pipes.

DP Chris, that sounded just wrong.

Twice, even. Curse the bot!!!

Check out the sidebar story about stealing meat, which, by the way, would be an awesome name for a rock band.

Don't you mean "that sounded wrong, NTTAWWT"?

Why not get the station in Oregon to run the story too?

Maybe some squirrels would help?

As I have said before, there is no problem that cannot be cured with the proper application of explosives.

*fondly remembers his coal mining days*
Hammie - yep and improperly applying them can be a hoot also.

Her mom, the family's chief wage earner, has to get back to work. She and her husband, their five daughters and his brother rent a TWO-BEDROOM home in north St. Petersburg.

No wonder she has hiccups.

Her mom, the family's chief wage earner, has to get back to work. She and her husband, their five daughters and his brother rent a TWO-BEDROOM home in north St. Petersburg.

No wonder she has hiccups.

A night out on the town with Paris and Lindsay should cure her. He11, she'll be gasping for air!

Blasted bot has hiccups.

ya'll are sick.

that. is. all.

Actually, one remedy worked for me:

Take a quartered lemon. Cover one piece with sugar, salt, and angastora bitters. Chew the entire piece and swallow. I think the throat goes into cataleptic paralysis.

She also wishes that everyone would quit walking up behind her and scaring the bejesus out of her.

whoa - gotta respect a blogger who uses 'cataleptic paralysis,' aka - 'spaz cat syndrome.'

Frankly, I'm just glad for anything that will get the media's attention off Anna Nicole Smith at this point....

I feel like this brave young girl sort of took one for the team. It saved having to throw some little kid down a well.... which was my next idea.

Yes, Annie, and Phil didn't even stutter when he typed it!

Phil, and if you take a few tekillya shots with that lemon, you'll forget about the hiccups...course something else may be coming up ...iykwim.

JD - how can you tell if someone stutters when they type? I have trouble talking and typing at the same time, never mind setting it to rhythm.

i have mental hiccups everyday..and no one covers THOSE

Personally, I'm tryin Siouxie's remedy. Should I wait until I actaully have the hiccups or would now be okay?

Siouxie, you say that like it's a bad thing somehow...

Cheryl, have you told your news buddy that we're not done beating up on him yet?

Cheryl, now is good. I'll buy the first round! cuz you're famous today...

CH, a few = not a bad thing
a few too many so you puke your liver = bad thing

and don't ask me how I know that...I just DO!

Did someone say they were buying?

Actually, the bot mugged me; that comment was meant to reply to the "sick" comment you made way up there...

ohhhhhhhhh...not a bad thing at all!

and yes, Hammie...I'm getting the first round in honor of my BFF Cheryl, who is taking me to the Oscars.

Yeah! Tequilla shots, BFF's and the Oscars! Its a good day.

Hammond, he'll eat it up. He has an incredibly good sense of humour. Not as famous as our Dave (for President! Yes, of the United States), but no less adored.

By the way, when do we get our bumper stickers?

I don't think we should let Jennifer Wee know about this guy.

Sometimes, we just suck....and sometimes we suck harder

I personaly blame this man.

Note to Siouxie it is not a Manilow link but it is scary.

Nope, not gonna look at Geraldo. Ain't gonna do it.

I've learned to Just Say No to At2's Ambiguously-Labeled Links. Nothing good ever comes of them.

*snork* @ Addicted & Geraldo "The 'Stache" Rivera!

psst..thanks for heads up! ;-)

Normally hiccups occur when you try to breath and swallow at the same time. There's a little flap that covers the windpipe when you swallow so you won't aspirate food.

My simple cure for the hiccups - which probably would not work for this poor young lady but which probably will work for you when you next get them - is quite simple:
Breath. Swallow. Repeat.
Really, that's it. Concentrate on taking a breath and then concentrate on swallowing. Repeat until the hiccups go away or you get bored, whichever comes first.

(Now let's see if the bot is still punishing me for posting a link the other day)

It's all about Mee, isn't it?

It's all about Mee, isn't it?

Stevie's developed an echo. Is that like hiccups?

stevie - Breath. Swallow. Repeat.
Breath. Swallow. Repeat.

Miss Wee would like to bid adieu
To hiccups; they won’t stop, it’s true
She wished she had a dime
For each and every time
Someone snuck up on her and yelled BOO!

Isn't there some celebrity out there, who could stage a fundraiser for this kid?

A sure-fire cure for hiccoughs in the OLD days ...

Stick your head in a bucket of water and take nine deep breaths ...

Supposedly, it's guaranteed to work ...

OU(), nice simuling w/you...

... um ... (hic!) ... yeah, ec ...

THE NEWS MEDIA

"Sometimes, we just suck."

We call those times "work hours".

Well, I don't know, I suppose a few of them could also suck for free.

This gal is my neighbor, more or less [I'd heard about the story, but didn't know she was from north St. Pete]. And my Dad met a man in Vietnam that had had the hiccups for a month and was able to cure him with the old family secret method. And, no the old family method did not have anything to do with beastiality, CH, so just be nice.

I suppose if I were a nicer Bloglit I would try to fight my way through the camera trucks and help her out. Instead, I could really use a cold beer. So I'll go with that!

[O/T to CH; were you getting the Bot before you inserted pasted text, ^up there? 'Cause that and posting links are sure Bot stimulants, from what I've seen.]

A husband and his brother live in this household of EIGHT, and they let the mother of five be the chief breadwinner as a waitress at Denny's! They are a couple of sweet guys.

Jessica, I'm right there with you. And 2 FEAKING BEDROOMS!!! How do they have room for important things like toys?!!

Jessica R - you said it - maybe she'll be serving CJ his beer tonight. Hope he tips her well, so her manfolk at home can buy themselves some.

I think the problem, and this is by no means a groundbreaking opinion, is that there is just way too many: hours of television, pages of print, and googles of website that need to be filled. Thusly, we get to hear about hiccup girl ten times a day.

Guaranteed hiccup cure:

Drink a glass of water while holding your breath.

Works EVERY time.

You're welcome.

Apparently the kid has a cell phone and a leather jacket. No wonder she has the hiccups - she can't keep her mouth shut....

And for that last comment the bot Captchaed me twice! Dammit...

You're right, Dave. Why can't these News people get a life? The Blog can write stories about toilets, toys, the gadgets on Gizmoto (too numerous to mention here) , and really interesting stuff -- I still laugh thinking about the time you linked to the Sparkle News in Mysore, and the whole story was "There is no Sparkle News today". Mysore may be still recovering from the web hits! Keep up the good work -- the Blog will overcome!

Kathyb: email me and tell me what browser you are using. I have mostly figured out the Bot; nothing in your post looks Bottable, so it must be something else.

The problem is that she is sooooo cute! And even cuter when she hiccups! It's cuteness squared!

/And no, I'm not a pedophile.

Guaranteed cure....succinylcholine.

Oh, and you will most likely stop breathing. But hey, no more hiccups.

What Mr. C. said, but drink the water from the wrong side of the glass while standing over the sink.

Foolproof.

If she needs a scare, she could click on


THIS.

I don't know if it cures hiccups, but it kept me awake at night for far too long as a wee girl.

Bonus blog points to anyone who can name that Creature Features dude. There were better pics, but they had the movie title in the name so I couldn't use them. No cheating!

She has a leather coat and a cell phone but is ok with sharing her bedroom with four sisters. ACK!!! Parents, stand up to your children, "NO, you may NOT have a cell phone; we are saving to buy a house!"

Here's the deal. Hiccups are caused by your diaphragm convulsing. (NO, NOT THAT DIAPRAGHM! Geez.) If, and this is a big if, you can get you diaphragm under control, you've got it made. It's right around your solar plexus.

And sometimes we just suck
When a teenage girl hiccups
And I have to close my eyes or see Miss Mee
Every time her tummy spasms
Ell DeGeneres orgasms
And I'm not sure that's a pretty sight to see...

Better last line...

And I'm not sure that's a sight I wanna see

(Forgive me. It's tired and I'm late.)

Hiccup, little Siouxie, hiccup
Hiccup, little Siouxie, hiccup
"The View," it wasn't so hot
They talked over me a lot
Without Star Jones
It's just skin and bones
And Rosie's kind of a snot
Hiccup, little Siouxie, hiccup
Hiccup, little Siouxie, hiccup
I wanna go home

awww Stevie...I'm honored!!! LOL

Thankeeee!

*hiccup*

Lol backatcha. But I have a feeling your hiccups and hers might have different causes.

thanks very good...

um...you're welcome???

I know of a possible cure. It's always worked for everyone I tried it on.
Have the poor girl email me.

"We went to the media for one reason only, but now I just feel like she is being used," Jennifer's stepfather, Chris Robidoux said about reaching out for help.

"She's not for sale. She's a human being."

What's the old punchline: "We've already established what you are--now we're just dickering over the price."?

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