Post a comment
Your Information
(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)
« Previous | Main | Next »
You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.
As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.
Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.
Your Information
(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)
FIRST to say, Dave, that really needs an "I swear I am not making this up."
Posted by: Renee (the First) | February 28, 2007 at 01:11 PM
Okayyyyyy....
Posted by: Nurse Tammy | February 28, 2007 at 01:11 PM
Wasn't this an episode of CHiPS?
Posted by: Hammond Rye | February 28, 2007 at 01:12 PM
hmkay!
Posted by: Siouxie | February 28, 2007 at 01:13 PM
There's a country western song hidden in there.
Posted by: slyeyes | February 28, 2007 at 01:13 PM
that should probably lead the news, since the anna nicole stuff is already on page 10.
Posted by: queensbee | February 28, 2007 at 01:14 PM
Waitaminnit! Can you get posting credit for sending in a story you wrote? Someone hand me the rulebook.
Posted by: Hammond Rye | February 28, 2007 at 01:14 PM
so...many...jokes...my...brain...runneth over....
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 28, 2007 at 01:14 PM
...And a Darwin Award honorable mention....
Posted by: slyeyes | February 28, 2007 at 01:15 PM
Ooh, nice catch, Hammie!
Posted by: baligurl | February 28, 2007 at 01:17 PM
Jumpin' Jack Ash
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 28, 2007 at 01:17 PM
Whatever. That just happened last week to my brother.
Posted by: OkieDokie | February 28, 2007 at 01:17 PM
...Mom....Dad?
Posted by: Keilwerth LA | February 28, 2007 at 01:17 PM
C# or you'll Bflat on the bridge.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 28, 2007 at 01:18 PM
Hammie, I believe only Claire Martin can do that.
I'll have to check.
Posted by: Siouxie | February 28, 2007 at 01:18 PM
That's not the first hot sax to roll thru Lodi.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 28, 2007 at 01:20 PM
He's now singing the "Roller Skating Stripper Blues"
Posted by: Siouxie | February 28, 2007 at 01:20 PM
Another ordinary day in the life of a musician.
Posted by: Beppie | February 28, 2007 at 01:21 PM
*brain explodes*
Posted by: Crash | February 28, 2007 at 01:23 PM
Jumpin' Jazzer, Layla! You forgot to tell us all about the cop's family life and we don't have any idea whether or not that tow-truck driver is a Scientologist. Apart from that, nicely detailed!
Posted by: CJrun | February 28, 2007 at 01:24 PM
Well, since my camper burned me,
I've found a new place to dwell.
It's down at the end of Lodi town,
Called "Dumass Hotel."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 28, 2007 at 01:24 PM
Forget the week, that is the best opening sentence ever. It would also make a great scene in a Michael Bay movie.
1 week and no links. I might make it.
Posted by: Addicted to 24 | February 28, 2007 at 01:27 PM
Oh, Lord. Struck in Lodi again.
Posted by: WriterDude | February 28, 2007 at 01:28 PM
My favorite part is that the same tow truck driver showed up to tow the motor home that had pulled the big rig out of the garage. Is he the only tow truck around?
Posted by: mmmph | February 28, 2007 at 01:33 PM
I think that was in a short story. The one written by Richard Brautigan. And Philip K. Dick. And Dave.
Posted by: danceswithvowels | February 28, 2007 at 01:34 PM
You'd think this would happen to a drummer.
Posted by: slyeyes | February 28, 2007 at 01:35 PM
*snork* @ writerdude!
sly - a drummer for Spinal Tap. But they didn't say he was a drummer. They said he was a musician.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 28, 2007 at 01:39 PM
*Snork* @ WriterDude
Posted by: Hammond Rye | February 28, 2007 at 01:40 PM
"The coors beer can was apparently just a decoration."
That's like saying the "paint on velvet" of Elvis is just another painting.
Posted by: Baron of Gray Matter | February 28, 2007 at 01:55 PM
Well I saw the thing comin' down the road
It had the flapping door, one big fire.
I commenced to shakin' and I said "ooh-eee"
It looks like an RV-drivin’ Lodi-stripper to me.
He was a one-time, one-wheeled, RV-drivin' Lodi-stripper
One-time, one-wheeled, RV-drivin' Lodi-stripper
A one-time, one-wheeled, RV-drivin' Lodi-stripper
Sure looked strange to me.
Well it came over the pass and crashed into a fence
I said Mr. RV-driver don't roll into me
I heard him say in a voice so sweet
I wouldn't do that because I-focus-on-music-now-and-not-my-roller-skating-stripper-career…
He was a one-time, one-wheeled, RV-drivin' Lodi-stripper
One-time, one-wheeled, RV-drivin' Lodi-stripper
A one-time, one-wheeled, RV-drivin' Lodi-stripper
Sure looked strange to me.
Posted by: fritchbeetle | February 28, 2007 at 02:04 PM
Two comments; 1) This blog breaks at least 4 of the 5 posting rules listed in bold on that page. 2) You can take the trash outa the trailer but you can't take the trailer outa the trash. (for trailer read motor home)
Posted by: Mot the Hoople | February 28, 2007 at 02:06 PM
Hey, Mot!! I haven't threatened you...yet!!
Posted by: Siouxie | February 28, 2007 at 02:10 PM
*****SNORK******!!! @ fritchbeetle!!!!!!!
AWESOME!!!
Posted by: Clean Hands | February 28, 2007 at 02:12 PM
Clearly, the Bozos aren't taking the bus anymore.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | February 28, 2007 at 02:12 PM
*bows in appreciation of snorks*
Off to The Airport Job, folks. Have a good afternoon/evening.
Posted by: WriterDude | February 28, 2007 at 02:14 PM
You'd think this would happen to a drummer.
Combo guitarist/singer. Those guys have just half a brain at the start. Drumber would have burned up inside watching the bonfire.
Posted by: Olo Baggins of Bywater | February 28, 2007 at 02:20 PM
You know, people are constantly griping about stories not giving enough detail.
I think this one made up for it. Tried not to leave ANYTHING to the imagination....
Posted by: Clark Kent | February 28, 2007 at 02:30 PM
Dagnabit... the Impostor Baron keeps stealing my lines.
Posted by: Barøn vønKlyff | February 28, 2007 at 02:40 PM
Who is this impostor, Baron???
shall I get the hot wax ready???
Posted by: Siouxie | February 28, 2007 at 02:42 PM
Thanks CH. :)
Posted by: fritchbeetle | February 28, 2007 at 02:43 PM
Whew... that was a close one. Thank goodness that took place in Lodi, Calif., not Lodi, NJ.
*waves at Mot*
Have a wonderful visit with your kin, and get home safely, Mot.
Posted by: JerseyGirl | February 28, 2007 at 02:44 PM
Agghh! Hot wax!
Oh, not for me.
Carry on.
Posted by: Hammond Rye | February 28, 2007 at 02:45 PM
Very good one Writer Dude!
Posted by: Beppie | February 28, 2007 at 02:48 PM
"Baron of Gray Matter" showed up today. Not only is he an Impostor Baron, he seems to be psychically stealing all of my good lines.
Posted by: Barøn vønKlyff | February 28, 2007 at 02:51 PM
If I ever get in another embarassing position with the police, I'm giving them a false name. I don't ever want to end up on the wrong end of one of Dave's posts. (take that as you may)
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 28, 2007 at 02:53 PM
he's still here, Baron!
oh and that was GREAT fritchbeetle!!!LOL
nervous some, Hammie?
Posted by: Siouxie | February 28, 2007 at 02:55 PM
Yes, ma'am.
*Waves at Siouxie*
Would you like a cosmopolitan?
Posted by: Hammond Rye | February 28, 2007 at 03:04 PM
*takes the fifth*
Posted by: Jazzzz | February 28, 2007 at 03:27 PM
The most astonishing statement in the whole piece:
"There was no sign of alcohol involvement, Iniguez said, and the Coors Light beer can on the motorhome's dashboard appeared to be a decoration."
Posted by: KCSteve | February 28, 2007 at 03:40 PM
*beams*
Thanks Siouxie! :)
Posted by: fritchbeetle | February 28, 2007 at 03:45 PM
Earwig Alert: Lodi by CCR
Just about a year ago,
I crashed there on the road,
Seeking my fame and fortune,
Modesto's bars got old.
Things got bad, PB wrote this verse,
I guess you know the tune.
Oh! Lord, crashing in Lodi again.
It hurt when I hit the pavement,
I'll be waking up real soon.
I was just passing through,
near where they crashed last June.
I ran out of grass and munchies,
and borrowed some from my friend.
Oh! Lord, I'm crashing in Lodi again.
The man from the CHP,
said I was in the way.
Somehow I dropped my doobie,
ran off the road and swayed.
I woke up in Stockton,
Looks like my my RV's toast.
Oh! Lord, crashing in Lodi again.
Mmmm...
If I only had a dollar,
for ev'ry joint I've done.
And ev'ry time I've had to strip
While people there got ripped.
You know, I'd catch the next bus,
back to where I live.
Oh! Lord, I'm crashing in Lodi again.
Oh! Lord, I'm crashing in Lodi again.
Posted by: PirateBoy | February 28, 2007 at 03:49 PM
*Raises lighter@ PB*
Ooops.. oh, no....
Jump!
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | February 28, 2007 at 03:57 PM
Very good, PB!!!
Posted by: Siouxie | February 28, 2007 at 04:11 PM
PB, 10 extra points for the 3rd person reference to yourself
Posted by: Gadfly | February 28, 2007 at 04:17 PM
This sounds a lot like "Pulp Fiction"
Posted by: Jazzzz | February 28, 2007 at 04:25 PM
I agree Jazzzz
There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. I been sayin' that sh!t for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your a$$. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a mother(insert very bad word here)er before you popped a cap in his a$$. But I saw some sh!t this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous a$$ in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that sh!t ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.
Posted by: Addicted to 24 | February 28, 2007 at 05:43 PM
You guys are way too creative and clever. I will seek your assistance next time I'm trying to make a story more interesting.
Posted by: Layla | February 28, 2007 at 05:53 PM
Oh, and I had e-mailed Dave because I really think the guys in this crash could add to his band. Walter might be impressed, too.
Posted by: Layla | February 28, 2007 at 05:59 PM
Layla - kudos on an interesting lede with no dangling participles with which for to deal. Because if there were, we would have duly noted, lampooned, and flambeed it.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 28, 2007 at 06:02 PM
Wow! HE was the former roller skating stripper! Where in the world do you catch a show like that?
Posted by: nora | February 28, 2007 at 06:37 PM
wow..24 !!!.........cool
Posted by: Jazzzz | February 28, 2007 at 06:47 PM
Distressin' quote: ... making his way back to the overpass where his friend lay on the road ...
What'd his friend lay on the road?
An egg?
A bet?
His Fiancé?
Details (and photos), please.
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | February 28, 2007 at 08:51 PM
Who, what, when and where are all there in black and white,in less than 3 lines.
Only part that's missing is the "why?"
Posted by: Swoosh | February 28, 2007 at 10:29 PM
Yeah! Lodi! My hometown!
Posted by: Andrew R. | March 01, 2007 at 01:19 AM
*applauds fritchbeetle's earworm*
That's some instar you wrote there, fritchbeetle!
*shudders at PirateBoy's earwig*
Great sendup of Creedence, though. ;-)
Posted by: JerseyGirl | March 01, 2007 at 04:10 AM