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February 28, 2007


A jazz musician was injured Friday after jumping from a burning motor home driven by a one-time roller skating stripper from Lodi.

(Thanks to Layla Bohm)


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FIRST to say, Dave, that really needs an "I swear I am not making this up."


Wasn't this an episode of CHiPS?


There's a country western song hidden in there.

that should probably lead the news, since the anna nicole stuff is already on page 10.

Waitaminnit! Can you get posting credit for sending in a story you wrote? Someone hand me the rulebook.

so...many...jokes...my...brain...runneth over....

...And a Darwin Award honorable mention....

Ooh, nice catch, Hammie!

Jumpin' Jack Ash

Whatever. That just happened last week to my brother.


C# or you'll Bflat on the bridge.

Hammie, I believe only Claire Martin can do that.
I'll have to check.

That's not the first hot sax to roll thru Lodi.

He's now singing the "Roller Skating Stripper Blues"

Another ordinary day in the life of a musician.

*brain explodes*

Jumpin' Jazzer, Layla! You forgot to tell us all about the cop's family life and we don't have any idea whether or not that tow-truck driver is a Scientologist. Apart from that, nicely detailed!

Well, since my camper burned me,
I've found a new place to dwell.
It's down at the end of Lodi town,
Called "Dumass Hotel."

Forget the week, that is the best opening sentence ever. It would also make a great scene in a Michael Bay movie.

1 week and no links. I might make it.

Oh, Lord. Struck in Lodi again.

My favorite part is that the same tow truck driver showed up to tow the motor home that had pulled the big rig out of the garage. Is he the only tow truck around?

I think that was in a short story. The one written by Richard Brautigan. And Philip K. Dick. And Dave.

You'd think this would happen to a drummer.

*snork* @ writerdude!

sly - a drummer for Spinal Tap. But they didn't say he was a drummer. They said he was a musician.

*Snork* @ WriterDude

"The coors beer can was apparently just a decoration."
That's like saying the "paint on velvet" of Elvis is just another painting.

Well I saw the thing comin' down the road
It had the flapping door, one big fire.
I commenced to shakin' and I said "ooh-eee"
It looks like an RV-drivin’ Lodi-stripper to me.

He was a one-time, one-wheeled, RV-drivin' Lodi-stripper
One-time, one-wheeled, RV-drivin' Lodi-stripper
A one-time, one-wheeled, RV-drivin' Lodi-stripper
Sure looked strange to me.

Well it came over the pass and crashed into a fence
I said Mr. RV-driver don't roll into me
I heard him say in a voice so sweet
I wouldn't do that because I-focus-on-music-now-and-not-my-roller-skating-stripper-career…

He was a one-time, one-wheeled, RV-drivin' Lodi-stripper
One-time, one-wheeled, RV-drivin' Lodi-stripper
A one-time, one-wheeled, RV-drivin' Lodi-stripper
Sure looked strange to me.

Two comments; 1) This blog breaks at least 4 of the 5 posting rules listed in bold on that page. 2) You can take the trash outa the trailer but you can't take the trailer outa the trash. (for trailer read motor home)

Hey, Mot!! I haven't threatened you...yet!!

*****SNORK******!!! @ fritchbeetle!!!!!!!


Clearly, the Bozos aren't taking the bus anymore.

*bows in appreciation of snorks*

Off to The Airport Job, folks. Have a good afternoon/evening.

You'd think this would happen to a drummer.

Combo guitarist/singer. Those guys have just half a brain at the start. Drumber would have burned up inside watching the bonfire.

You know, people are constantly griping about stories not giving enough detail.

I think this one made up for it. Tried not to leave ANYTHING to the imagination....

Dagnabit... the Impostor Baron keeps stealing my lines.

Who is this impostor, Baron???

shall I get the hot wax ready???

Thanks CH. :)

Whew... that was a close one. Thank goodness that took place in Lodi, Calif., not Lodi, NJ.

*waves at Mot*

Have a wonderful visit with your kin, and get home safely, Mot.

Agghh! Hot wax!

Oh, not for me.

Carry on.

Very good one Writer Dude!

"Baron of Gray Matter" showed up today. Not only is he an Impostor Baron, he seems to be psychically stealing all of my good lines.

If I ever get in another embarassing position with the police, I'm giving them a false name. I don't ever want to end up on the wrong end of one of Dave's posts. (take that as you may)

he's still here, Baron!

oh and that was GREAT fritchbeetle!!!LOL

nervous some, Hammie?

Yes, ma'am.
*Waves at Siouxie*
Would you like a cosmopolitan?

*takes the fifth*

The most astonishing statement in the whole piece:
"There was no sign of alcohol involvement, Iniguez said, and the Coors Light beer can on the motorhome's dashboard appeared to be a decoration."


Thanks Siouxie! :)

Earwig Alert: Lodi by CCR

Just about a year ago,
I crashed there on the road,
Seeking my fame and fortune,
Modesto's bars got old.
Things got bad, PB wrote this verse,
I guess you know the tune.
Oh! Lord, crashing in Lodi again.

It hurt when I hit the pavement,
I'll be waking up real soon.
I was just passing through,
near where they crashed last June.

I ran out of grass and munchies,
and borrowed some from my friend.
Oh! Lord, I'm crashing in Lodi again.

The man from the CHP,
said I was in the way.
Somehow I dropped my doobie,
ran off the road and swayed.

I woke up in Stockton,
Looks like my my RV's toast.
Oh! Lord, crashing in Lodi again.

If I only had a dollar,
for ev'ry joint I've done.
And ev'ry time I've had to strip
While people there got ripped.
You know, I'd catch the next bus,
back to where I live.
Oh! Lord, I'm crashing in Lodi again.
Oh! Lord, I'm crashing in Lodi again.

*Raises lighter@ PB*

Ooops.. oh, no....

Very good, PB!!!

PB, 10 extra points for the 3rd person reference to yourself

This sounds a lot like "Pulp Fiction"

I agree Jazzzz

There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. I been sayin' that sh!t for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your a$$. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a mother(insert very bad word here)er before you popped a cap in his a$$. But I saw some sh!t this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous a$$ in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that sh!t ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.

You guys are way too creative and clever. I will seek your assistance next time I'm trying to make a story more interesting.

Oh, and I had e-mailed Dave because I really think the guys in this crash could add to his band. Walter might be impressed, too.

Layla - kudos on an interesting lede with no dangling participles with which for to deal. Because if there were, we would have duly noted, lampooned, and flambeed it.

Wow! HE was the former roller skating stripper! Where in the world do you catch a show like that?

wow..24 !!!.........cool

Distressin' quote: ... making his way back to the overpass where his friend lay on the road ...

What'd his friend lay on the road?

An egg?

A bet?

His Fiancé?

Details (and photos), please.

Who, what, when and where are all there in black and white,in less than 3 lines.

Only part that's missing is the "why?"

Yeah! Lodi! My hometown!

*applauds fritchbeetle's earworm*

That's some instar you wrote there, fritchbeetle!

*shudders at PirateBoy's earwig*

Great sendup of Creedence, though. ;-)

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