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February 23, 2007

MY FELLOW SOUTH FLORIDIANS:

It's time to act.

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Don't bother, Dave......I think it's buried in the Earth's core. Which would explain things like Loch Ness, Crop Circles and France.

Oh....and GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!

*waves excitedly - and then waves hand, too.*

Dave, how true that is! We need to send it over to Tancredo's home state.

*snork* @ the 'one glove and remaining cutlery'!

I don't know, Punkin. The magnet at the center of the earth might explain France, but does anything explain LA?

Mornin' Punkin!!!!!!!

Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.

Save my spot...time to shower!

Why, Siouxie? Is it crowded in your shower?

judging from my recent dates, i think i have my very own personal weirdness magnet.

cg- that's not the weirdness magnet, you are just flypaper for freaks.

We'll know Dave was right when the news reports that Britney has left rehab again and is moving to South Beach...

Sorry Dave, but here in Ohio we already have a serious weirdness factor..The 2004 election was ours to turn into a Laurel and Hardy routine, we have a river that once burned, Dahmer, Springer, Manson( Marilyn), butter cows, Paul Lynd.. I could go on.. It also affects our sports teams in such a manner that they are the best at imploding..Who choked the '95 World Series? The Indians.. And To whom did we give it to? Come on say it! The Marlins! All of our football teams have orange as a color.. The other factor is that a high percentage of your weird people are Ohio weirdness exports..They get old and move to Sarasota or Lakeland or some where else that leisure suits are readily available. So thanks for the nod to " The Queen City" at the end of your article, but I think we all know, you are our little brother of weird.. We gave you the Weird Magnet like a familial wedgie..We do not want it back.. Sauerkraut Balls anyone?

Dave, what you need to do is find the thing and reverse the polarity, but, please wait until NYC's multi-layered Trump-proof barriers have been completed.

Go ahead, of COURSE, and do what must be done to the Golden Glades interchange.

two things I noted...

1) there should be t-shirts that say "welcome to the weirdness capitol of the world: Florida"

2) that the office of Homeland Security will not like this article. Expect a visit Dave. :)

sean: good point. the DNA samples are on their way to cincinnati, which is btw where i grew up... ohio and florida. hmmm.

Yes, but has Florida voted for the state amphibian yet? (re: other thread)

Colorado has - The horned Tancredo

hmmmm, part II... dave was in PA which is RIGHT NEXT DOOR to ohio before he moved down here. maybe he sucked the weirdness down here with him, and some of it backlashed over into ohio... that's a good theory, don't you think?

sean, i have never met a transplanted ohio person who wasn't weird. no offense judi, as we haven't actually met.

Judi, West Chester is quite removed from Ohio. It might even be in a different country.

Dave and I were influenced by the same smaller, yet similar weirdness/creative magnet in SE Pennsylvania....but its different than that Ohio/Football hall of fame weirdness Magnet

The Florida Weidness Magnet, know from here on out as FWM, is altogether different. It is enhanced by the sun, which ampilies its magentic-a-tude. FWM wa sfirst recognized by those Indians who made the Miami Circle...and then again by Janet Reno when she protected Elian Gonzzales by pushing him out off the maagnetic pull.

FMW is somehting I embrace.

Judi, I think you are on to something.. Maybe the weirdness was blown from Ohio by a 'nor easter like an acid rain cloud from one of our luxurious coal burning facilites over to PA where Dave was staying and it rained it's weirdness down upon him , and he tracked it down to FLA on the soles of his shoes where it has grown, nay, flourished into it's present state of weirdness..

sorry for the double letters in some places. Its early. The sun hasnt warmed up the FWM yet

Who was the running back on the '72 Dolphins that went undefeated? Larry Czonka.. And where is Czonk from? Stow, Ohio.. Who was the coach of the '95 Marlins that beat the Indians? Jim Leyland, from.. Toledo, Ohio.. Jason Taylor? University of Akron.. It's stunning..

actually kinda surprise Dave didnt offer to send the magnet to Tancredo.....or would that just be redundant

maybe he was thinking of Toledo....which is close to Tancredo...but not actually saying the "T" word...

Y'all are merely ... weird ...

I like that in a blog ...

Cincinnati weirdness is just a different polarity. Let's not forget Pete Rose, Larry Flynt and of course, Marge Schott (God rest her dog's soul).

No, don't send the magnet to Tancredo. Life is weird enough here as it is.

I think Texas has its own weirdness magnet. The Bush family alone would seem to indicate it, but tons of strange news stories come out of Texas.

Could be causing issues in England as well, since the other 1/2 of blog articles are from various English sites

flypaper for freaks wbagnfarb

elvisonvelvet, in the hit song, " Come Back To Texas" from the group Bowling For Soup, where does the girl run off to with " some guy named Leyland"?

I wouldn't mind a little more weirdness in Cincy. It gets kinda boring here sometimes.

Dave, in listing all the other weirdness, you didn't mention the Herald Hunt!

and Claire Martin...where is SHE from?

I saw a special on magnetic anolomies, like that place where you roll up hill...that tourist attraction....I think there are plenty of them ...WM sights....

Stonehenge...Gloden Glades...that tourist place...Amsterdam...Times Square in NYC...Ohio...Tancredo's world...

Judi - Shhhh, don't give Dave any idea that You might be the weirdness magnet. He already said he wants to nuke you it. :)

wait...no one factored in that the Bermuda Triangle should actually by called the Golden Glades Triangle...

Oh Judi's a magnet...of a different kind...

there should be t-shirts that say "welcome to the weirdness capitol of the world: Florida"

Chaz, what makes you think they don't have them?

We've been down here several weeks and Dave does have a point (and not the one on his head). And he didn't even mention that every Florida driver - even the ones who aren't 90 year old men who can't see over the steering wheel - stays in the left lane exclusively because they are going to be turning left eventually.

She goes to Cleveland!

Dave, it is not just South Florida that is weird, it's the whole state. It just seems to get weirder the farther south you go.

you alls need winter. a blizzard. it will freeeeze the weirdness away.

Channeling MOTW who has been blocked!!!!

Punkin – Loch Ness was explained by Peter and the Starcatchers.

And speaking for myself, don't forget su.so.ca. weirdness: 200+ accidents when it drizzles, granola/yogurt eating joggers even in the rain, etc. :)

Another possibility, my mom's mom used to live in Florida. I'm just sayin'.

South Florida without the Golden Glades Interchange? Why that would be...great! Carry on!

Personally, I think Jack Bauer should be brought in to assess and rectify this situation. He is a magnet (yes, I said it) for all sorts of explosive devices. That way, we wouldn't have to buy the plutonium on Calle Ocho! Although I hear there's sale on at the Pluntoneria.

Sean, it's a sad fact that I don't know anything about any bands from recent years. I'm pretty sure I've heard of Bowling for Soup, but I couldn't tell you a thing about them. I'm pretty much stuck listening to songs from my youth, so crappy 80s hair bands. Good to see you found your answer!

Jeff I said CAPITOL...the weirdness capitol of theWORLD is Florid
its like the mecca for weirdos...thats how yours truely got here... my wife suggested moving here

throws an A up to florida and any other typos are magically fixed

Maybe further investigation is needed. Because, about 10 years ago, Chicago had a river that leaked and a bridge that fell UP!

Maybe it's something in the water!

YES NEW COLUMN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sean:

Wouldn't a Nor'easter have blown the Ohio magnet to Texas?

Dave

Is this your first plank in your heaving, juggernaut campaign for the Presidiocy?

Dave what brought you to Florida?

Great column!

Sean and judi, I'm an ex-pat Ohioan living in L.A. Whenever my family and friends from Ohio talk abou thow weird L.A. is, I point oout all of the weird news stories that come out of Ohio. Cincinatti crossed the weird line when they put their art museum curator in jail for obscenity.

Oh, and YAYYY!!!! Dave wrote a column!!!!!

LTTG, Sean, but I'll play part of a verse with you:

There's nothing wrong with Ohio
Except the snow and the rain
I really like Drew Carey
And I'd love to see the Rock and Roll Hall of fame

Nearly 44-year-old BFS fan here. Now that's weird.

*tosses a capital F up to make that "Fame"*

Writer Dude,

I heard a bit of that song one day and have been wondering who it is. Who's BFS? What's the name of the song?

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