CAT FLATULENCE AND GLOBAL WARMING

Finally, somebody is doing something.

Comments

[Nurse Tammy]

*looks at cat*
*looks at husband*
Which one creates more greenhouse gases?

[casey]

Pfftt. Scuse me.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I love how you can just pay someone and you suddenly become Green.

Eco-freakos should all just convert themselves into compost and stop sucking the oxygen that the rest of us could use.

[casey]

Chris: might I suggest a gumball and a cuppa java? How bout a nice back rub?

[wickedwitch]

DPC - speaking as an Eco-Freako, i don't worry about cat flatulence or grandmas' gas. i worry about more important pollution sources like power plants, factory and automobile emmissions.

[Val]

Would "Cat Flatulence" BAGNFARB?

[anon]

Hmm, I only sent that Friday, better late than never

[OtheU(manity)]

Some of this stuff is so ... ahhh, why don't they just put a cork in it ???

[casey]

Snork at OtheU

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

i don't worry about cat flatulence or grandmas' gas. i worry about more important pollution sources like power plants, factory and automobile emmissions.

Posted by: wickedwitch | 09:06 AM
______________

Which makes you a reasonable person. But anyone who wants to strap scrubbers to granny's "smoke stack" is in desperate need of compost conversion.

Apparently, I'm having one of those days. I'll be back after the gumballs kick in.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

I'm sorry, but cat flatulence is overblown. Mouse flatulence is more important.

[From another world]

* Ear Wig Warning *

Smelly Cat - Smelly Cat - What are they feeding you?

[wickedwitch]

FAW - funny how a Phoebe song can stick with you so long, especially such a bad one.

[the Yearning Heart]

For too long, cats have been getting a free pass.

OK, that was awful. I'll just get my coat...

[Hammond Rye]

Cat Flatulence is often a sign of poor or degraded caulking. A liberal application of a good quality silicone caulk (available at your local hardware store) will fix this common problem.

[The blog reader formerly known as Matt]

Birthday present for the guy who has everything (including a taste for beans)

[crossgirl]

see, see, i knew global warming was a serious issue!

[From another world]

Ham - Is this anything like the volcano that will shoot out the balls of concrete?

There she blows - yuck.

[Siouxie]

Good morning people!!

whoaaaaaaa! what's that smell??

[crossgirl]

casey, can i have chris' gumball and backrub if he doesn't want it? i'm having monday part II.

[Siouxie]

Has anyone blamed Al *Oscar weener* Gore yet??

[mudstuffin]

little pretty kitty oh so cute
curled and purring in your furry suit
languidly licking your little white boots
silently releasing the deadly cat-toot

you and grandma are the responsible lasses
for all of the terrible greenhouse gases
we,d better act fast before the poot passes
and tie you down and silicone your a55es

[From another world]

Wondering if Al Gore is the first human test project for Ham's caulking experement after seeing the amount of weight he has gained... Hum...

[casey]

Snork at Mud!

I guess I'll be in charge of handing out gumballs and back rubs today. I'm in a great mood and I dont mind sharing!

[DavetheRed]

*Applause* for mud, good one!

[Mr.Fisher]

Rock the Catbox, Rock the Catbox.

[Siouxie]

*stands in line for back rub*

oh and could you do my neck too?? it's a little stiff.
(no pun intended)

LOL @ mud!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

*gets on queue for casey's mood-enhancing ministrations*

[Siouxie]

Mr. F? great earwig! lol

[Chaz]

Hey, who stepped on a frog?

I have a dog I blame those sounds on

[Chaz]

"Cat Flatulence" can translate into something else....

[Siouxie]

Yes Chaz, I'm sure you're thinking of p*ssy fart??

am I right??

there goes the thread...

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I believe that's known as a 'queef'. How do those affect global warming?

[insomniac]

geezer alert
("for what its worth"-buffalo springfield)

something's happening here
what it is, ain't exactly clear
there's a man eatin' beans over there
i think he's fartin' more than his share

it's time we stop...
hey, what's that smell?
gramma and her kitty stink like h*ll!

odor lines being drawn
what'd you eat? are they soft or they strong?
old people squeaking just fine
getting no tax assistance from their behinds!

(chorus)

what a field day for the press
cleaning up an olfactory mess
doesn't matter how old you are
when Beano stock is worth more than your car!

(chorus)

your aroma strikes deep
from out your colon it creeps
it starts when your cat is afraid
it'll get blamed, they come and take it away!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

*Standing ovation SNORK and wild applause for insom

*Holds cellphone aloft

[Siouxie]

Very nice, insom! LOL

*gets ready for the geezer flatulence express*

[Mr.Fisher]

Thanks Siouxie, but as is in my tank, one you get trumped (Go Insom! Go Insom! Nice Buffalo Stampede there buddy) there's really only one thing left to do at that point. And that is point out that when playing scrabble, queef is only worth 17 points. Not as much as one might stink.

[insomniac]

*please, no holding lighters aloft*

*for your own good*

[Adora]

Okay, which of you wrote this in the comments section?

sarcasmo Says:
February 23, 2007 - 13:56

This means one thing. BUY "Beano" stock NOW!!!
JMR (The stuff works, and it was the subject of perhaps Dave Barry's funniest column-series ever!)

[Moon]

I love how you can just pay someone and you suddenly become Green.

Eco-freakos should all just convert themselves into compost and stop sucking the oxygen that the rest of us could use.

Hey, Dread Pirate, this is a scam perpetrated most likely by some right wing scum businessman to take advantage of sincere, but not bright, people.

Kind of like the scams perpetrated by right wing scum religious "leaders" getting money by taking advantage of sincere, but not bright, Jesus people.

The problem isn't religion or environmentalism. The problem is right wing scum.

[Moon]

I'm also worried about the use of the word "caulking" in reference to cat's butts.

[casey]

Siouxie, you just had to go there, didnt you?

[kibby F5]

*blames Al Gore*

[Siouxie]

*points at Chaz*

HE started it!

[kibby F5]

*constantly worries about wing scum*

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

The problem isn't religion or environmentalism.
There's a difference? They are both based (for any enviro-beliefs invented in the past 12 years or so) on faith and not science. (I'm a scientist, I should know.)

The problem is right wing scum.
I thought the problem was not-bright sheeple who only believe what the news media tells them to believe. ("I saw it on the Tee Veeee, so it must be true. Now hold my beer and watch this.")

[Stevie W]

Lol, mud, fisher, and INSOM!!!

[Meanie the Blue]

Oh yeah, alright.
Are you gonna cut feline cheese
tonight?

[Drum solo]
[Guitar solo]

And, in the end,
When the cats' wind breaks
It's equal to the bucks
Ming makes

[Siouxie]

Looks like one commenter is worried about the real problem.

upcountrywater Says:
February 23, 2007 - 15:27

That BETTER be a LOW flush toilet.

[Stevie W]

Meanie, your devotion is laudable.

[Siouxie]

LOL Meanie!! very nice!

[Hammond Rye]

Hmmm, I don't even think this needs modification:

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord, oh Lord

Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand
I've seen your face before my friend, but I don't know if you know who I am
And I was there and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you've been
It's all been a pack of lies

And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Lord
I can feel it in the air tonight, oh Lord, oh Lord
And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Lord, oh Lord

Well I remember, I remember, don't worry, how could I ever forget
It's the first time and the last time we ever met
But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, no you don't fool me
Because the hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows
Some stranger to you and me

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord
I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Lord, oh Lord
I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Lord, oh Lord
I can feel it coming in the air, I can feel it coming in the air
I've been waiting for this moment all my life, my life

I can feel it coming in the air, I can feel it coming in the air
I've been waiting for this moment all my li-i-i-i-i-ife
I've been waiting for this moment all my life, my life

[Mot the Hoople]

Let me get this straight. If I play my cards right I can get paid for not farting. *tries diffferent shaped rubber bungs*

[kibby F5]

*goes to copy machine to run off a few thousand "carbon credits"*

So? What's the going rate on theses?

[queensbee]

guys need to sign up for this thing immejetly. i only ever had one kittie who was flatulent. i think doggie farts are much worse. and much worse than people ones as well. ewww. what about horses, sheep, cows..... how much do they contribute to the destruction of the ozone, eh?

[Gadfly]

Plan B, Just
Flush

[Chaz]

I am what one would call a passive-agressive instigator

[Dr. Doug]

Gore will know the answer; he knows everything you know. He invented the internet (besides being an Oscar winner.)

[Moon]

There's a difference? They are both based (for any enviro-beliefs invented in the past 12 years or so) on faith and not science. (I'm a scientist, I should know.)

Really? So all those OTHER scientists are wrong?

/I'm a scientist, too.

I thought the problem was not-bright sheeple who only believe what the news media tells them to believe. ("I saw it on the Tee Veeee, so it must be true. Now hold my beer and watch this.")

Yeah, I know, that's why I mentioned that ("but not bright"). However, the "mark" is seldom sent to jail, while the scammer usually goes, if he or she gets caught.

[writer132]

I hear if you just toss a few concrete balls into the cat, the problem goes away.

[Gadfly]

Nice visual

[Mr. Completely]

Hate to be the one to point this out: Gore did NOT win an Oscar® - the MOVIE won the award, which went to its director Davis Guggenheim and producers Lawrence Bender, Laurie David and Scott Burns, and NOT to the "star".

[Siouxie]

Mr. C?? you mean Al is not an Oscar Weiner? ;-P

but he invented the Oscars, right?

[Gadfly]

I, for one, think global worming may be a valid approach to the problem of cat flatus

[Meanie the Blue]

I blame Davis Guggenheim, Lawrence Bender, Laurie David and Scott Burns.

[Clean Hands]

Gumball and backrub here, puh-lease?

(You might want to wear the gloves...)

[Nurse Tammy]

I've done scarier things.
*passes stash of gumballs to CH*
*gloves up*
*commences backrub*

I hope you have insurance, I don't work cheap. :P

[Mr. Completely]

I knew I was gonna hate pointing it out... sigh.

[Gadfly]

*not inhaling*

[Prairie Dog]

Catulence

[Gadfly]

puss 'n toots

[crossgirl]

*snork*

[JerseyGirl]

*stereo snork at Prairie Dog and Gadfly*

Um, forget about carbon credits. Not letting our cat eat turkey prevented the emanations.

*turns green (not Green) at the nauseating memory*

[OtheU(manity)]

Yes Chaz, I'm sure you're thinking of p*ssy fart??

am I right??

there goes the thread...

Posted by: Siouxie | 10:05 AM on February 27, 2007

Worng, Siouxie ... the thread "went" before we left home ... (about the time of NT's 9:02 post, to be specific ...)

[Meanie the Bluepoint]

Pull my paw....

[Gadfly]

Don't tell Maw...

[Siouxie]

scratch & sniff?

[Gadfly]

Here to Play Their newest single,....
Abyssinian Air Biscuits

[Meanie the Blue]

Litter box?

[Gadfly]

Sorry Meanie, I thought you were up on your all girl polka bands, of course that was
Kitty and the Trouser Coughs

[Meanie the Blue]

Didn't they used to tour as Lola and the Paintstrippers?

[Gadfly]

Yes, back when they opened for The Siamese Skidmarx

[Meanie the Blue]

I loved their version of Light My Fire!

How 'bout Cleopatra and The Stynx?

[Gadfly]

seems like they covered a Mason Williams tune too,....i'm trying to remember but somethings got my tongue

[Meanie the Blue]

I know the one...with the segue into Jumpin' Jack Flash, right?

[Jazzzz]

*wonders if it's too late for casey backrub*

[Reverse Barometer]

I just hang an air freshner on my cat's tail. Every fart smells like a whiff of pine.

If you like cats, come visit my blog:
http://reversebarometer.blogspot.com

[Brian]

Guys, these Al Gore fat jokes really aren't fair.

He's not fat, he's just sequestering carbon.

[Cheryl Howard]

Want to truly stop global warming, find a cure for my Great Dane's excess emissions.

[Mr. Completely]

We had one particular cat, Bogart, who... I don't know exactly what was going on in that poor guy's intestines, but OMG. He damn near farted in colors. Great green fart blossoms.

Whew. My nose STILL burns just thinking about it.

[Armstrong Hammer]

Global warming is a scam and many global warming reports have been fabricated.