BUMPER-STICKER SLOGAN DECISION

I have painstakingly reviewed all 16 million entries in the bumper-sticker-slogan contest, in consultation with a distinguished panel of experts consisting of Mrs. Blog, judi, and Mr. Gene Weingarten of the Washington Post. After literally weeks of thoughtful consideration, the panel and I have decided to go with the following slogan, which was one of the first ones sent in:

DAVE BARRY FOR PRESIDENT
Yes, of the United States

This slogan was submitted by "Dad-O-Lot," who will receive, as punishment a token of our gratitude, a bottle of this high-quality prank product, if we can figure out a way to send it without violating the Homeland Security Act.

There were many strong runner-up slogans, including:

-- "Or Are You Too Chicken?" from Steve Jens, who also submitted "Basically, He Wants Attention";

-- "The Rest of the World Is Laughing at Us Anyway," by Meanie the Blue, who also submitted "It's Not Like You Care";

-- "My Kid Is an Honor Student," by Chris Knight;

-- "If He Shoots a Lawyer in the Face, It Will Be on Purpose," by Beppie;

-- "Puttin' the 'Mock' Back in 'Democracy'," by JP;

-- "He's Actually a Black Woman," by gfunksizzle;

-- "Because Nothing Isn't Going to Do Itself," by tuxmask3.

...and many, many more excellent ones, including the one that you, personally, submitted, which I liked the best but which was vetoed by judi so blame her.

Anyway, our next step is to have the winning slogan printed on a bumper sticker, which ideally we will have done before election day. After that the campaign will really kick into "high gear" under the direction of the Campaign Field Coordinator, Mr. Ted Habte-Gabr, who will be out in the field doing his horizontal level best to gauge the mood of the voters.

Thanks to all of you who participated in the contest. Now let us join together in making this country a better place for me future generations.   

Comments

[Hammond (Vote for Dave!) Rye]

I demand a recount!

[crossgirl]

i knew you liked mine best. darn you judi!

[PirateBoy]

I demand that congress hold hearings, and feeble old men mumble the results at a press conference, while demanding further accountability, and the need for more hearings.

No, wait. We already have that.

[Steve (The 24 guy)]

First we all get Time's Person of the Year, and now this! Wow!

Congrats, Dad-O-Lot!

[Guin]

Congrats, Dad-o-lot! How much did you have to pay judi?

[AvidReader]

Woohoo to Dad-O-Lot! Although "putting the mock back into democracy" had me LOL.

[Dad-O-Lot]

WOOHOO!!!

I am already planning devilishly fiendish uses of the prize. I just hope it gets here before April 1st.

Mom-O-Lot, however, has already nixed any opening of the prize in the house.

and,

Vote for Dave.

[Boo Augustus]

In an act of guerilla marketing genius, I personally pledge to place a Dave Barry for President bumper sticker over every McCain/Guliani/Romney/Obama/Clinton/Edwards/Biden, et.al. on all vehicles parked in remote or not very visible locations where I could get caught. These things are free, right?

[CJrun]

There were many good ones, but Dad-O-Lot's was an early favorite of mine; congratulation D-O-L!!

[DavetheRed]

YAY!! I will gladly place one on my (what some really nice people would call) car.

[slyeyes]

Congrats, D-O-L>

Of course, it's too late to submit,

DBFP
He'll pooh-pooh the Gebremedhin-Wu way.

[kibby F5]

That's the spirit Boo! (And how's it going?)

Vote for Dave!

[OkieDokie]

put in my order for 10 stickers!

[Stevie W]

Way-To-Go, Dad-O-Lot!

Your prize inspires two more thoughts, which I think were not offered:

DAVE BARRY
What's That Smell?

and

DBFP
There's No Accounting For Taste

(By the way, has Gene's oosik been circumcised---at bot ends?)

[Chaz]

thats what I get for being sick on friday and monday...I missed being able to enter

[whitey tightey]

Sorry, but "hillary for president" still makes me snort on the windshield every time.

[OtheU(manity)]

WTG, D-O-L!

[Siouxie]

Congratulations, Dad-O-Lot! That was a great one. Course, if judi hadn't had vetoed MINE...you'd be contratulatng ME. No hard feelings though!

We're all in this together, working for one common goal, cuz it involves free beer. Right??

[Chaz]

this sound slike that movie with Robin williams....The common man is it?

[judi]

no, it's that other one, with kevin kline....

[Mot the Hoople]

*Sits in corner sulking*

[Meanie the Blue]

Dave, Michelle, Judi and Gene -

That was a phenomenally quick and decisive choice, and I deeply resent your obvious favoritism commend you on an excellent selection. However, the rapid speed and high degree of consensus does call into question your suitability for government service.

We will need to work on this during the course of the campaign, as I presume that having had two close runnerups qualifies me for an automatic Cabinet position, which is perfect as I could use a good upright armoire.

(Congrats and *SNORK*@ Dad-O-Lot!)

[Mikey123]

CONGRATS TO THE WINNER! I thought it was the best also!

[gfunksizzle]

Meanie, I assumed every runner up got a cabinet position. I mean, right?

I call Secretary of Agriculture, because just because I want to "work" in Washington doesn't mean I want to wear shoes.

Congrats, D-O-L!

[H. V. Fisher]

Congrats to Dad-O-Lot!

Despite the obvious results of bribery close nature of this race, I'm just going to wait until Dave asks us to help him come up with a campaign theme song. I have an entry which I can safely call "The Suitcase Nuke of Earworms," and not even Jack Bauer could stop it. :-)

[Siouxie]

I guess the rest of us that didn't get "runnerup" status, and therefore, won't be getting a cabinet or armoire positions, would end up as interns??

Or maybe some of us can be in the Secret "HUSH HUSH" Service! I've got my kicking-@ss boots and I can frisk the men. Some other perv Hammie Stevie Mot person can frisk the women.

[Stevie W]

"... qualifies me for an automatic Cabinet position."

MtB, I thought you'd be more interested in a cabernet position. Like, sideways.

[Hammond (Vote for Dave!) Rye]

Yay!

[Meanie the Blue]

Interesting you should mention that, Stevie.

While I don't believe in massive government, I propose that we establish a Secretary of Beverages, and, of course, I already have a qualified candidate in mind. If we have to sacrifice another Cabinet position (oh, say, Chancellor of the Exchequer), so be it.

[mm]

Yay Dad-O-Lot! Acknowledged master-of-the-day-so-far of the pithy witticism.
Congrats!
(You can see why I wasn't able to come up with the winning entry)

[Meanie the Blue]

But mm, you just coined a great tongue twister: "Pithy witticism" (which WBAwretchedNFARB)

[FleaBailey]

Congrats to Dad-O-Lot, whose comment that he hoped his prize would arrive by April 1 got me thinking.

Maybe that agency that gets so much mail on April 15 would like to experience your gift, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Just kidding. Really. Just a joke. Hello to everyone at the NSA.

[Dad-O-Lot]

Excellent idea FleaBailey. I may have to forego e-filing this year and send paper.

If anyone at the IRS is reading this, I am just kidding and would never do such a thing.

[Susan]

Oh...if only I had had one of the bumper stickers when I had to fill out my jury duty questionaire.

One question was, and I'm not making this up, do you have any bumper stickers on your car, and if so, what do they say.

[Siouxie]

*wouldn't dream of forwarding this post to the IRS @ http://www.irs.gov/*

*wants her free bumper sticker*

[Guin]

Oh...if only I had had one of the bumper stickers when I had to fill out my jury duty questionaire.

One question was, and I'm not making this up, do you have any bumper stickers on your car, and if so, what do they say.

Seriously?? I'd definitely be disqualified for my "DOG IS MY CO-PILOT" and "I love my country but fear my government" ones.

[Cheryl Howard]

Yeah! Yes, of the United States was one of my personal favs!

Will they be avaiable on the blog?

[PirateBoy]

May I please request a high-ranking Cabernet position?

If I don't get this, you shall all be forced to hear me wine.

[OtheU(manity)]

Wowser!

Never thot of the "bumpersticker" disqualification from jury duty ...

A person has gotta be careful with their ownselfs excuses, however ... a bit of the worng attitude and one might be cited for contempt of court ... ISIANMTU!

[Miss Chevious]

Congrats, Dad-O-Lot!

I'm thrilled that Dave, judi and Gene chose your slogan, it's hilarious!

Miss Chevious

[queensbee]

i'm guessing there was a lot of drinking, eh laughing, yeah, that's the ticket, whilst you folks read the submissions. now dave, you have a slogan, and a bumper sticker. you will need to get on C-span so you can spin, er, describe your platform.

[Meanie the Blue]

I'm thinking this for Dave's platform.

[marfie]

Way to go Dad-O-Lot! Yes, for winning. :-)

[mudstuffin]

favorite bumper stickers:

"eschew obfuscation"
"persecute those who question authority"
"my other car is also a piece of crap"
"i fart and i vote"
"i brake for hallucinations"

what can i say, i'm easy to please.

i don't use bumper stickers as i have found they prompt people with strong political leanings to yell spittle-flecked slogans at me

[Nurse Tammy]

I don't like bumper stickers on my car. Now, those static-clingy window whatsits, those I like.

*hopes that the DB4P slogan thingie will be offered in that form*

Funniest bumper sticker I ever saw was "do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup"

[gfunksizzle]

I am also in favor of non-permanent static-clingy whatsits.

Just thought I'd add my voice to the cacophony.

[Nurse Tammy]

Caca what? Oh... my bad. (shortage of scatological humor on this thread IMO)

[Clean Hands]

NT, that's one of my all-time faves, too!!!! LOL

[Hammond (Vote for Dave!) Rye]

My son bought me my all-time favorite:
WWCD-(What Would Cthulhu Do?)

[danceswithvowels]

Congratulations, Odd Alto Doot Lad Old Toad Dad-O-Lot! I must say the committee made a fine choice. Can I challenge St24G and whoever for Secretary of Anagrams? Or will there be a Cabinet for Real Ale?

[WriterDude]

Fear not the (presumably less costly) adhesive stickers, folks. They're not permanent at all. Just apply to a window rather than bumper/trunk lid/tailgate. Come the day you want to remove it, an extension cord and a blow dryer are all you need; heat it up and it'll peel right off. (Should a trace of adhesive remain, wipe it off with a dab of WD-40.)

This has been your completely unsolicited MacGuyver moment.

[Siouxie *Voting for Dave*]

Personally, I would like to be appointed Secretary of Affairs with Foreigners. That is a cabinet position right??

[Cheryl Howard]

And may I have a position too? Which ever is closest to the kitchen and wine cellar would be fine.

[writer132]

Darn, so I guess it's too late for...

DAVE BARRY FOR PRESIDENT
I just TUALIMM

or DBFP
Because America's already hit rock bottom.

or DBFP
He's better than "CATS."

[JP]

Dad-O-Lot, I just want to point out that, at least up here in MA, there is a second layer of humor to your submission, because all the news reporters have been reporting about the "first female president... of Harvard", but saying "of Harvard" softly and regretfully.

Nice job, boys and girls. If that doesn't get Dave into the OVal Office, nothing will, excet perhaps massive vote tampering on my part. Good luck Dave, and congrats D-O-L.

-JP

[JP]

PS, Dave, in case you read this, my preferred governmental position would be Secretary of Insertion of Humorous Words into Proposed Bills/Constitutional Ammendments.

[JP]

PS, Dave, in case you read this, my preferred governmental position would be Secretary of Insertion of Humorous Words into Proposed Bills/Constitutional Ammendments.

[Clean Hands]

I would appreciate an appointment to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms... After all, two outta three ain't bad.

[Cat R.]

Congratulations to the winner and the runners-up.

As for the Cabinet, the first appointee HAS to be Wyo , of course!

[Cheryl Howard]

CH, at the very least it is a very good start to a good party.

[Mr. Completely]

CH and CH - It just sounds like a good time waiting to happen, doesn't it?

[Cheryl Howard]

Mr. Completely, you have no idea. CH & CH happen to reside a very short road trip apart. ;-)

The Howards of Bend are always up for good excuse reason for a party.

[Jazzzz]

I'd like to be "Secretary of Cow Placing" (You know when you are riding around in the country, and you see a herd of cows looking soooo pretty, standing around here and there? Well certainly, they are not smart enough to know where to stand!! There are people who place these cows!!)

[Mike Weasel]

Aw man, I wasn't even aware of this contest... oh well. Congrats Dad-o-Lot!

I would like to respectfully request the job of designing the actual bumper sticker. Mad and I just got a shiny new iMac and I just got Adobe CS2 for it.

*gets to practicin*

[Cat R.]

I'd like to be "Secretary of Cow Placing"
Posted by: Jazzzz | 08:27 PM on February 20, 2007

*snork*

[LadyBug]

On my way home from work today, I spotted a bumper sticker that said

DON'T TAILGATE ME
or I'll flick a booger on your windshield

I mourned the fact that the bumper sticker slogan submission contest was over, for I would be delighted to own a bumper sticker (actually, I, too, am in favor of the staticky window whatsits) that read

VOTE FOR DAVE BARRY
or I'll flick a booger on your windshield

[ted]

Judi -- Can we go for 'top shelf' bumper stickers this time? The last thing we want is the other candidate's bumper stickets to be better than ours...

In unrelated news, I was delayed getting back to LA today, and missed the big Obamamamania in LA. A friend was taking me as her guest to some doings with every mucky mucky in town. I had planned on taking the Field Coordinator CA licence plate with me that reads Barry '08. You see Barack did go by Barry as a kid, and we thought we could get a picture next to him holding it, or possibly talk him into holding it. But alas, thanks to the airline biz, that didn't happen....

i did meet on my flight Pat Cadell, who some of you news junkies may recognize as a former campaign operative and frequent and intense MSNBC/CNN guest...and also a consultant to West Wing....

The polling will commence soon,

The FC

[weaselboy]

Congrats to DOL! I agree with the strategy of ordering hundreds and covering up the obviously dumb ones by "those other" alleged candidates. Fortunately, OUR candidate is NOT "articulate" or anything.

[Eleanor]

judi, I thought we were friends and Dave said he liked mine best, and I read Weingarten's piece in the Wash Post magazine every Sunday, so I really don't know what more I could have done.

Did I not send enough money? Is that it?

[MOTW]

Judi - How do we request a bumper sticker? SASE?

[ScottMGS]

MOTW, if I recall correctly, the only person I've seen giving out the bumper stickers is the Field Coordinator. Maybe we have to start buttering him up.

*combs new, longer-in-the-back haircut*

[Beppie]

I can finally say, "I appreciate the nomination, even though I lost and stuff."

[Dad-O-Lot]

Woohoo! I received my magnificent prize today. Signed and packed with an empty toilet paper roll.

I feel like a celebrity!

Now for some fun!

[Crystal]

Hmmmm, I don't know, but I think Hilary needs Dad-O-Lots help. Personally, I woudn't care if Dave sinks us to a Totalitarian regime, with the bumper sticker he has my vote.

[Land Rover Bumper]

he Lexus Land Rover Bumper did give names to their cars, instead consistently using letters and numbers to designate the coupes, sedans and the SUVs. With the Infinity Q45 being the flagship sedan, the Infinity found its place in the American market.The Infinity vehicles never did give names to their cars, instead consistently using letters and numbers to designate the coupes, sedans and the SUVs.

Thanks

Infiniti parts

http://www.iautobodyparts.com/land_rover/

[bert show prom dress sale]

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