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February 19, 2007

24

Here is this situation:

In last week's highlight, the evil terrorist submastermind Fayed drilled into Morris with a power drill -- it looked to us like a 3/8" bit -- and Morris, after giving it some thought, decided, hey, why not program those suitcase nukes? Fayed then activated one of the bombs, but Jack arrived just in time, and Chloe (it goes without saying) had the schematics (filed under "Nuke, Suitcase") so Jack was able to deactivate the bomb by -- forgive us for using technical terms -- turning it "off." CTU had set a perimeter up around the building, so of course Fayed got away. He went down into the sewers, where a helicopter was waiting. (Hey, we don't write these plots.) Morris was all sad and blue, but Chloe was like, hey, who hasn't, at one time or another, enabled terrorists to wipe out tens of thousands of innocent people in nuclear blasts? So by the end the two lovebirds were reconfabulating downlinks together again and it was soooo sweet.

Speaking of couples: McCarthy and his annoying girlfriend both got whacked. Edgar is also still dead.

The current evil terrorist supreme mastermind is (we think) somebody named "Gredenko," which sounds to us like a nickname for organic waste, as in, "Mom! The dog made Gredenko on the carpet!" Gredenko is planning to use the remaining suitcase nukes to Wreak Vengeance on the United States, or at least Los Angeles... unless Jack can stop him. But Jack is being thwarted by his father, Farmer Hoggett, who took Jack's dead brother Baldy's son Josh -- who we think might be Jack's son, because he (that is, Jack) and Baldy's widow Marilyn, who is hot but has the acting skills of a rutabaga, still have Feelings for each other -- hostage (that is, Josh is a hostage) and he (Farmer Hoggett) made Marilyn send Jack to the wrong house, where, instead of Gredenko, there was a bomb, which went off, providing pretty much the only highlight in the second hour last week, but, incredibly, not killing Jack.

Meanwhile in the White House Bat Cave Bunker, the Ally McBeal Weenie is joining the conspiracy to get rid of President Gary Payton of Your World Champion Miami Heat and replace him with Vice President Powers Boothe, which is fine with us because every time President Payton starts talking we find ourselves losing consciousness and waking up hours later face-down in the Cheez-Its.

Speaking of refreshments: It's time to get ready.

Special Note: We welcome Mr. Ridley Pearson, joining us from New York City for tonight's episode.

UPDATE: They never look behind the dumpster.

UPDATE: I love it when Jack says: "Interlace your fingers!"

UPDATE: Marilyn can't act, but she has excellent teeth.

UPDATE: Jack may have to shoot Marilyn in the thigh.

UPDATE: Jack wants a vehicle with a full tactical kit.

UPDATE: We've all been stupid, Jack. That's why we watch.

UPDATE: OK, just thinking out loud here: If Jack doesn't go to get Gredenko, whoever does go to get Gredenko will get creamed, and the suitcase nukes -- let us call them "suitnukes" for short -- will remain at large.

UPDATE: "Did you finish the vectors?" Those crazy lovebirds!

UPDATE: Farmer Hoggett is not the brightest bulb, is he?

UPDATE: The president was installing Vista.

UPDATE: Morris is going off the wagon.

UPDATE: Hey, you get drilled in the shoulder, you need a little something.

UPDATE: We're seeing Marilyn's full tactical kit.

UPDATE: I may have said this before, but the "Back to the Future" ad for Direct TV is really, really stupid.

UPDATE: Ally McBeal Weenie down!

UPDATE: There's always time for hallway subplots at CTU.

UPDATE: Morris's sponsor will turn out to be... Jack's father!

UPDATE: I think it's good when families talk things out like this, with guns.

UPDATE: I didn't metabolize the alcohol, either!

UPDATE: OK, really now, why didn't Jack ask for backup?

UPDATE: This is some bad writing, here.

UPDATE: PRESIDENT HANDBAG!!!

UPDATE: Wait... did anything actually happen in this episode? Or was it pretty much blah, blah, blah, blah... PRESIDENT HANDBAG!!!

UPDATE: Next week: A bomb and a needle. We now turn you over to the Amazing Steve.

FINAL UPDATE: According to the news, Anna Nicole Smith is dead. Anybody heard anything about that?

Comments

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First!

First!

*waves to Ridley*

Welcome!!!

Almost!

Welcome Mr. Pearson! I suggest that you have a pillow ready, as I have the feeling that the wooden dialogue generator will be working at full capacity this evening.

*SNORK* @ Edgar the uh...Whale!

Welcome, Ridley!

Does anyone think that this will be the season that there ISN'T a mole at CTU?

24 countdown checklist:

Wine: Check! As always, a dry red.

Dinner: Check! We will not discuss what it was.

Rational Thought: Suspended! I feel like I'm in the writers' room already.

Bloglit friends: Gathering! Welcome, Ridley.

Bring On the Wooden Diaglogue Generator and Random Plot Thingamajiggie, because I Am Ready!

I am also...almost, because it is not quite time yet...ready for TCH's grand intro. I shiver with anticipation...and...erm, other things.

Let's get it Onnnnnn!

I'm a teacher and had to make several calls to parents tonight. I couldn't reach a one. So I left the message: Call me back...after 9:00 p.m. (CST)

I usually shut off/unplug my phones during 24. I do not want to be disturbed!

To make it easy (on me)....tonight, when any of you think of something really funny, I thought of it first!!

*Zips in from the West Coast, waves to all Bloggits*

I have been a follower of your blogs for a few years and wanted to say "hi" and thanks for the laughs! You are all really terrific. Keep the fire warm and I will be back at 9pm, PST.

*Sets out a tray of Daggwood Sandwiches for her blog friends*


My readiness for tonight's events depends entirely on the frickin' bot guarding access to Dave's blog...which is far more effective at establishing perimeters than anybody CTU has ever had.

Die, frickin' Spambot. Die. Slowly.

Welcome, Ridley!Expect to have entirely too much to drink fun tonight.

I want to share my new dodge for keeping up with the insanity from the Mountain Perimiter Zone -- it worked pretty well last week. Begin viewing one hour behind you Eastern/Central folks. At first commercial break, pause the DVR and bolt to the blog, read all the comments/updates up to that point in the show. Repeat process at all subsequent commercial breaks, snorking beer on keyboard at least once per.

It ain't live, but it's as close as one can get in this time zone. As always, I ask that none of you folks let the writer from the LA Daily News find out that I
began watching. this season.

10 minutes to go -- have fun, people!

Welcome, Ridley!

I'm ready to go, and will post the summary as soon as I can after the show's over.

Thanks Blondie and welcome!!!

Oooh! Sandwiches! Thanks, Blondie! Dibs on the pastrami. Hello all.

...And yes, it would seem that the bot is on the job tonight.

(exits, muttering darkly and profanely under his breath)

Anybody wanna get a pool together for the number of times Jack yells "DAMMIT!" tonight, when he means something else entirely?

I'm going for two.

Yes, maybe CTU should hire the Spambot?

Welcome Ridley

Personal checklist:
Guinness? Check.
Guinness? Check.
Guinness? Check.
Guinness? Check.
Fettucini Alfredo and garlic bread? Check.
Perimeter set to keep cats away? Check.
Ready!

FINALLY. I've been waiting for this all day. I'm bored, I'm edgy, I had to work today and I've got acres of Italian homework to do before tomorrow. In other words, I'm in desperate need of some serious entertainment, blog style. You may fire when ready.

Meanwhile,

Dr. Romano
is still dead.

That whale....THARRRRRRRR SHE BLOWS!!!!

Hi Renee - during commercial breaks, I can help with Italian homework. Parlo un po.

I'm still giggling about SuzyQ's reference to "Bloglit" friends, does that mean we are "lit" by now!
*Swigs down Big Gulp of Guiness*

Oops, I fear I've angered the Spambot by my last remark. Which was meant purely as a compliment, Spambot, Great Guardian of Perimeters . . .

No class for me tonight. The girlfriend ain't feeling to great tonight but so far it looks like I get to be annoyed with 24 with the rest of you

Hello all! New 24-fanatic this season and blogger here. Heard some of the hype through the years, but season 6 got me hooked. Had to borrow the first 5 season DVD's from a friend at work to try to get caught up! My wife and I have already made it to the 10th episode of the first day, and that within two nights of viewing the DVD's! Just couldn't turn it off. 24 is indeed one of the best programs ever. Go Jack! Great to meet you all.

*waves happily at Gretchen*

Hi!

ok, i'm out of the bathroom so hopefully i'll have a bathroom-break-free hour of 24...much like the rest of the cast.

hi all

BTW, welcome Ridley!

Grazie, Gretchen!

Too late, Mary. Once angered, the infernal Spambot is slow to forgive.

REAL slow.

*waves at Suzy Q* Hello! Just 3 minutes to go!

man, the bot got me on the first post...this is going to be an annoying hour.

Dave - Your recap/status report heading into tonight's episode is hilarious! Funniest of the season!! Thanks.

Does anyone think that this will be the season that there ISN'T a mole at CTU?

"The great majority of moles are harmless, but in rare cases, moles may become cancerous."
--Mayo Clinic

Every name on the list of Gredenko's contacts is someone who works on the show. Really. Check it out!

Does anyone think that this will be the season that there ISN'T a mole at CTU?

"The great majority of moles are harmless, but in rare cases, moles may become cancerous."
--Mayo Clinic

There is no escape from, ntwrks. I hope you realize that

Wes, I feel your pain. I usually only get about 15 or 30 minutes on these nights anymore with the durn bot. CJRun gave me some new direction, which I followed like a good little bloglit girlie. We'll see if it helps.

How is this a "special night"?

Hi all!

I'm so ready with drinks aplenty, and wave a hardy "hello" to all bloglits.

Did someone say "perimeter"????

Oh, it was me!!!

*glug glug glug*

yay! Viewer discretion!

Imagine my surprise when Mace Windu in Star Wars II ordered a perimeter set up!

Viewer Discretion!


Bring on the indiscriminate random violence!!!

...I wonder if CTU has managed to find some more red-shirt SWAT guys yet? Between Jack and the nuke, haven't all of them died by now?

OH graphic violence!

Hi All and Ridley too.

I think we're going to lose WoosterGirl pretty early in the proceedings, folks . . .

I wonder if the Taco Bell lions will make an appearance tonite.

Carrrrrrne asada.

DAVE BARRY FOR PRESIDENT!
Vowing to bring more accountability to your corruptio---
WE INTERRUPT THIS PAID POLITICAL ADVERTISEMENT TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
!ROUH REWOP REUAB KCAJ
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by: JackSack™ and ChloeSack™, supporting Dave in the delicate spots as he runs for President in 2008!

LET'S GET READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLE!

This "extra extra special" intro to "24" is dedicated (again again) to blogit "Suzy Q", because she complains to be about it otherwise. Oh, and to Ridley as well...he's more special. For now. :)

I actually hurt myself when I looked at "Edgar!"

Hey, Woostergirl!

I'll have a drink to the perimeter, too!

Hey Suzy!

Mojitos tonight?

*SWOONS*

Oh, THC guy....you...really...pant, pant... outdid yourself tonight!

is Milo gonna die?

Marilyn is a seriously crappy runner. What's up with that?

Does anybody else hear an ice cream truck driving past during the opening credits...?

Gad, who wrote this theme music?

Hostiles in pursuit!

Mojitos? Sure!

looks like somebody should have spent more time on the treadmill at the gym

You can't blame yourself. Let me blame you.

Hi everybody!
No wine for me tonight. Still recovering from Daytona 500 yesterday.

I'm needing some thighshooting tonight!

I think they're being pursued by hostiles, too.

Can the hostiles hear the loud breathing and moaning?

Jack's mighty lungs will blow out that fire. Like Paul Bunyan!

We can spare a Milo. As opposed to Edgar croaking, the memory of which still brings a tear to my eye.

Marilyn is a wuse! (spelling?)

Is she gonna fall down, too?

Grandpa got a suite? With an LCD flatscreen TV? I want him to kidnap me!!!

So three terorists versus Jack. What do you figure the odds are that they don't get off a shot.

Ooo, Gretchen me too, me too!!!

Chuck, must you bring up dear Edgar at a time like this? *sob*

So three terrorists versus Jack. What do you figure the odds are that they don't get off a shot?

Go Jack!

I really wanted to go, but hey, there were bullets and stuff.

what a dipshit woman

Slam her head, Jack! shoot her thigh!

NEWSFLASH - Marilyn is TOTALLY useless. Almost Kim-like. (But kudos to whoever made her red lipstick -- that stuff has staying power!)

she looks like a screaming duck in a shooting gallery at the penny arcade

I don't think he likes the smell of garbage...

So long cheesy mustache

WHy is Jack shouting? Is the bad guy deaf?

she looks like a screaming duck in a shooting gallery at the penny arcade. What wusses these guys are INTERLACE the fingers? are they going to have to do a cat's cradle?

Is Jaws down? Or just fakin'?

Shoot him AGAIN, Jack! He's not dead yet!

Gunfire! At least we have some action tonight.

Drop your weapon!

Marilyn's acting is fatally wounded!

Serious fence-slap...and garagedoor slap!

Poor Edgar. I don't even watch the show (I just hang around here and snork at the comments) and I miss him. :-(

Well thank god his contract was secure.

Well thank god his contract was secure.

Joining late; pesto problems in the cucina. I'm watching the DVR and will catchup during the commercials.

Hi, Ridley!

whine whine whine

Jack said "NUKULAR"!!!!!!

*glug glug glug*

Oh, fer cryin out loud. SLAP HER, Jack! What is WITH all this soft stuff? Ick.

Look at Jack's hand! LOOK AT JACK'S HAND!

Nucular!

Wow what an exciting opening. I was expecting Milo to bite it thought.

DROP YOUR WEAPON OR I WILL USE MINE!

ha!

Don't blame that poor women she's a victim of FOX bad script writing almost as effective as the wooden dialog maker.

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