WHO SAYS NOBODY WRITES GOOD LITERATURE ANY MORE?

Not this blog.

(Thanks to Bill Bauer)

Comments

[crossgirl]

i'll pass on this one, but the "how to have sex in the woods", may be a good read.

[Siouxie]

can we use the book to wipe? is it two-ply? scented?

[Cookie]

Me too, cg. :)

[Siouxie]

"In the mid-1800s in the Royal Borough of Chelsea, London, an industrious young English plumber named Thomas Crapper grabbed Progress in his pipe wrench and..."

*snork*

we will not make fun of people's names....

[Nurse Tammy]

cg - that one could be summed up "avoid the poison ivy. Also, mosquitoes. *shudder* And... don't ask me how I know this, but whipped cream attracts ants.
*looks innocent*

[Gadfly]

If you do that in the woods and nobody smells it does it stink?

[Siouxie]

Gadfly, maybe you can find the answer in this one:

"Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart by Jim Dawson"

[KCSteve]

We actually have this book. It is well written, informative, usefull, and acknowledges the snork-worthiness of the subject.

If you might ever go camping - or wind up with no water / power / etc. for a week or so - it's worth picking up a copy, just in case. Some things you don't want to learn by trial and error.

[Dr Acula]

There was a whole half hour on this very subject on the BBC a few weeks back, which is major value for our compulsory, taken-at-gunpoint licence fee. Apparently, when you shit in the desert you must, repeat must, burn the t-p afterwards. Just remember this next time.

[csaey]

I know it's been said, but it bears (down) repeating...

key phrase: poop packer?????

[ken in jax]

I've pooped in the desert many times. Very simple procedure. Dig hole. Poop in hole. Throw TP in hole. Put dirt back in hole.

[Gadfly]

just so you know, poop packer doesn't google nicely at work.

[random thunking]

Did someone say Bear Down?

[mm]

so KCSteve is the book about how to manage while camping, or about Thomas Crapper and the invention of the toilet?

[Jane Reinheimer]

BIDEN THE "BLOVIATOR" HAS LOTS TO SAY
AS HE READIES HIS RUN FOR THE WHITE HOUSE

By now you've probably read about the senator from Delaware's description of boma boma O'Bama in Biden's interview by Jason Horowitz in the New York Observer. Get this -- Biden says O'Bama is "the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."

Okay, by his own admission, Biden admits to a tendency to bloviate.

Well, Mr. Bloviator, I think you did more than that. Haven't you learned anything from your ill-fated run for president in 1988 that from the time you announce your run for the Ovals, everything that comes out of your mouth becomes a quotable sound byte?

In just one single sentence, you probably turned off every well-meaning, articulate registered voter in this country who is African American. There just went 15% of the voters in the United States. Bye Bye Mr. Bloviator.

Oh, and incidentally, the Bloviator pulled out of his bid for the White House in 1988 because of some little problems with plagiarism.

So how can he be a bloviator and a minimizer at the same time?

He summed up his opinions about all the Democratic presidential candidates with this little power speech: "They may be politically right, and I may be politically wrong. But I believe I am substantively right, and their substantive approaches are not very deep and will not get us where I want to go."

Huh?

Is he a lawyer too?

Well, it turns out that he is. He graduated from the Syracuse University College of Law in 1968 and practiced law in Wilmington, Delaware, before beginning his illustrious congressional career, following a brief stint at local politics -- city/county council or something like that.

Oh yes -- the Bloviator has something to say about all his opponents. More about that later.

What a guy!

P.S. Bloviate is a compound of the word "blow" -- as in "to boast" -- or what we, here in America call "blowhard." And since Americans are also great language-lifters, we give it a fake Latin ending -- kind of makes it very self-important. (World Wide Words)

I like another word that is a synonym of "bloviate." That is, absquatulate. That's a far better word for mega-squats to be using. But then, I can think of another word that rhymes with absquatulate.

Just sit down and be quiet, Joe.

###

[Gadfly]

she said "mega-squats"

[Hammond Rye]

Make sure you burn that.

[mm]

Ummmm.
I'm from Wilmington, Delaware, and I'm vitally interested in the issues of the state, but this really isn't a political forum. Take it to DelawareOnline and you will find lots of folk like yourself who want to discuss politics.

[Gadfly]

"but this really isn't a political forum"

weren't we just talking about some important tissues

[Joe Malin]

This book has been out since 1993, and you just notice it *now*?

Actually it's a really good book that makes you think about the impact of humans versus everything else.

[mm]

I was waiting for somebody to make a joke. Thanks, Gadfly

[Nurse Tammy]

Poop, politics... I can see how someone might get those confused...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Bill, better be careful, brother Jack is on the warpath!

[mudstuffin]

psst! (whispers) hey! who's jane? is she on the right blog? (and snork to gad & ham)

[Esther]

Did anyone else read the Ben Franklin "Fart Proudly" excerpt at the bottom?

[Gadfly]

Nurse Tammy, according to ken in jax we can sling mud in the desert as long as we bury it after

[Annie Where-but-here]

is a 'mega-squat' what Jane just did to this thread?

btw - this is not a book you want to check out of the library. You KNOW where it's been.

[Siouxie]

whoaaaaaaa! did I walk into the wrong blog???

[Annie Where-but-here]

Siouxie walks into a blog. The blogtender says, "Why the long face?"

[mm]

mud
*whispers*
I don;t think so. According to her site she's a licensed clinical bloviator from Illinois.
(apologies to all licensed clinical counselors)

[Siouxie]

*tried to absquatulate this morning but was a bit constipated*

Benefiber™ anyone???

[Lairbo]

Sxie: We were talking about shit and somebody started in on a politician. Easy mistake.

As far as the book goes; didn't anyone else ever have or read the Boy Scout Manual?

[Siouxie]

THAT's why, Annie. ^

[Esther]

Jane, as a friendly reminder, we are here to talk ABOUT sh*t, not to talk sh*t.

[Edgar Greenberg]

Jane, ya make less sense than me. And if you want big words, try nucleophilic substitution or carbocation or density functional theory.

[Gadfly]

did anyone go to Jeff Meyersons link and notice the obvious gunshot scar on Jacks right thigh?
(not that i was looking and NTTAWWT if i was)

[George Olive]

Actually, absquatulate means to leave hurriedly, with the implication that one is being pursued. Example "The Representative from Colorado absquatulated with the latest Miami Herald column."

[Йеммы (Jemmy at work)]

Boy, and I thought I had trouble keeping comments relevant!

I feel better now. Thanks, Jane!

[Matt]

I own that book!!!!!

[Annie Where-but-here]

wait...are you saying that we have to bury Tancredo in the woods?

[Hammond Rye]

Or burn it if you're in the desert.

[Gadfly]

*still waiting for the explanation of why it is so crucial to burn it in the desert*

Does it have anything to do with doubly endowed iguanii?

[Esther]

Reminds me of the time I accidently posted a parenting question about one of my 5 kids on - yes - an infertility support message board.

In addition, I was then added to a snail-mailing list and for the next year received a brown-paper covered magazine for infertile couples.

My husband got to it first and nearly passed out.

[csaey]

Esther, LOL!!!!

[casey]

Can someone please remind me how to spell my name?

[Hammond Rye]

caesy

[Hammond Rye]

Sorry, I may have a slight concussion.
csaey

[Gadfly]

c easy?

[Esther]

KC?

[Ford79]

Check out the book reviews at the bottom of the page. I had no idea there were so many different ways to spell "defecate."

This is why we have the s-word. Even Tancretins can spell it.

[The blog reader formerly known as matt]

May have to burn TP in the desert, but for glaciers, you're supposed to pack EVERYTHING back out. On the bright side, weight doesnt increase, it just changes form.

[Siouxie]

Hammie, you should have absquatul gotten the hell outta that thread!

[The blog reader formerly known as matt]

Oh, and you burn it in the desert because the low humidity helps preserve it.

[Hammond Rye]

I know.
You forgot this.
*Hands Siouxie whip*

[Gadfly]

ahhhhhhh,
finally the answer to "poop packer"

thanx TBRFKAM

[Gadfly]

preserve it for,.........?

[Nurse Tammy]

ISIANMTU - the bot just made me type "gaswvr".

[Meanie the Blue]

Just look out for those yellow glaciers.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Gadfly - for posterior posterity.

[The blog reader formerly known as matt]

Preserve it for that irritating next door neighbor's porch.

[Gadfly]

and then burn it??

[Annie Where-but-here]

As my Irish Nana used to say, "Sands preserve us!"

[mudstuffin]

(cancels trip to glacier) thanks for the tip.

[Gadfly]

(cancels all outdoor trips for the rest of life)

[mudstuffin]

there once was a man - "Nerd MacToot"
that fouled his new swimming suit
(it was really Tancredo
that pooped in his speedo)
but since he's illiterate it's moot

[Beppie]

Fart Proudly was an excellent book! Ben Franklin was really the Dave Barry of his time, beer drinking and all! He even made fun of nerds.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

crotch-accessible clothing for women

I want to know more about this. I can sh¡t in the woods just fine without any help, thanks.

[Nurse Tammy]

*snork* @ Mud.

[Hammond Rye]

I seem to have read somewhere that accumulated biowaste (poopsicles) is actually becoming a hazard on Mt. Everest and other extreme mountain peaks

[Siouxie]

LOL mud...good one!

[Hammond Rye]

"extreme mountain peaks" does in no way refer to Siouxie, Punkin Poo, or Nurse Tammy.

[Nurse Tammy]

*whew*
*checks for biowaste, just in case*

[KCSteve]

mm

As the others have (sort of) told you, the book is just what the title says - an instruction manual. The reference to Mr. Crapper's invention is historical reference as to why most of us no longer know these things.

[Gadfly]

doesn't Hammond have rolls of film filled with "mountain peeks" ?

[Siouxie]

uh...thanks Hammie...I think.

[Nurse Tammy]

Siouxie, I'm sure Hammie has only the utmost respect and appreciation for our extreme mountain peaks for us.

[Hammond Rye]

Words cannot describe the respect and adoration that I feel.

[Cookie]

I'm kind of hurt that Hammie didn't mention mine. :(

[Lou Bricant]

This book has been in our guest bathroom for 9 years (2nd Edition, revised). It is the only book in the bathroom.

My wife is a very patient woman.

[mm]

*snork* at DPC and
ty KCSteve
and everyone else for saving me from the rant I was about to launch into back there...

[Siouxie]

*did not know that wood crapping was a lost art*

is that like basket weaving?

[Siouxie]

(((((((Cookie and her peaks))))))))

They're real and they're SPECTACULAR!!!

[Hammond Rye]

Sorry, Cookie, my error. Any help that I can provide in support of this cause can be counted upon.

[Nurse Tammy]

Cookie, if you want to "talk" to Hammie, here's the towel. If you want the whip, you have to ask Siouxie.

[mudstuffin]

psst! (whispers) hamm - don't forget casey.

[Siouxie]

*thinks he better include all blogettes if he knows what's good for him*

[ubetcha]

Unfortunately, my peeks have eroded so I don't feel left out (much).

[Nurse Tammy]

Yeah, Siouxie, I think that's a good idea. Especially because we still have my dad's Boyes rifle... Armor-piercing...
Hammie, hurry, before one of us decides it's PMS time...

[Stevie W]

Please don't squeeze the sasquatch.

[casey]

Why mud, you made me blush! Thanks for remembering me.

[Nurse Tammy]

Is it just me, or does "squeeze the sasquatch" sound vaguely dirty?

[Siouxie]

lol, stevie

[Gadfly]

But you can absquatulate sasquatch all day long

[Hammond Rye]

Yes, all blogettes! If I have left anyone out, it is due to a concussion I received on another thread. Any blogette who requests individual respectful adoration, please send an 8x10 glossy photo to the Hammond Rye Life Enrichment Fund, PO box... Oh, sorry, it's the concussion, truly it is.

[crossgirl]

yup, i was left out again. i feel very forgettable today.

[Hammond Rye]

Awww, CG. You are never forgotten.

[mm]

cg - I get left out too, but then I'm just a "regular" type girl, as opposed to the "impressive" proportions some of our other ladies sport...

[Siouxie]

Hammie, here's mine.

I hope this will do ;-)

Siouxie's 8x10

[casey]

Gadfly: snork for you waaaaaay up there re: c easy.

Esther: I'm texting you a cookie, you win the prize today. "Casey" is a reference to my initials, "KC". Would you like chocolate chip or white chocolate macadamia nut?

[ubetcha]

If I knew how to post a jpeg, i'd send you my wonder woman from back when I was peeked.