WE HATE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS

An attack of toenail stones.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Comments

[Cat R.]

I've heard of toe jam, but toe gem?

[almne]

Eew, and she kept them?

[Cat R.]

"toe" is one weird-looking word

I need a coffee doughnut.

[Clark Kent]

Maybe she has super powers like on "Heroes."

A very sucky, lame super power, mind you, but still.....

[Mot the Hoople]

And "she had diamonds on the soles of her shoes"

[Mot the Hoople]

And "she had diamonds on the soles of her shoes"

[Mot the Hoople]

And "she had diamonds on the soles of her shoes"

[Just Ducky]

And they call her Twinkletoes.

[pogo]

"Her rubber-tapper mother Kamariah Komeng"

I think I know what that is, but it looks strange.

[Mot the Hoople]

This damn bot is freaking me out

[slyeyes]

Stones would play inside her toe
And where she trod,
a stone she'd throw
And she would ache
for a pedi but got stones.

La la la la la la la la la

[pogo]

And she had diamonds on the soles of her shoes,
And she had diamonds on the soles of her shoes,
And she had diamonds on the soles of her shoes.

Actually Mot, it sounds kinda poetic.

[Mot the Hoople]

Ok Bot. You win. I'll be seeing ya'all sometime.

[Phil]

What I LOOOVE to hear is a scientist claiming that something which is clearly real cannot be happening. Welfare bureaus, especially in India, do not pick up hospital bills unless the phenomenon is in fact occurring. She does indeed need to be studied.

[mm]

I thought Gemmy Toe-Jams WBAGNFARB

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Gosh and I thought my toe ring was progressive.

*snork* @ Ducky

[CJrun]

Mot, that was great, all three times! Cat, Ducky and sly, Yay as well!

Might those gems be Topaz?

[JerseyGirl]

Here's our snake story of the day, also courtesy of the _Straits Times_:

"70kg python that ate 11 dogs captured"

http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/nst/Friday/National/20070126080533/Article/index_html

Aside:
The first time I encountered the _Straits Times_ was in 1989 on a Garuda Indonesia flight. In one memorable story, a fruit vendor was arrested and charged with assault with a durian (big, spikey fruit) when a shopper declined to buy it or questioned its freshness or something. Assault with a deadly weapon for sure... Durians look like the head of a a mace.

[Just Ducky]

*snork* at CJ!

Twinkle, twinkle, little toe
How, I wonder, do gems grow?
Up above the knee, past thighs?
Can you make them any size?
Twinkle, twinkle, little toe
How, I wonder, do gems grow?

[CJrun]

Back at you, Ducky *wipes down BlogBar, lays out brown beers, red wines, and white mojitos*

[Just Ducky]

*picks up glass of Merlot*

Thanks, CJ! Can't drink too much--have to be clear-headed to see Dave tonight!

[Meditrina]

The goose who laid golden eggs has nothing on this chick.

[slyeyes]

Topaz -- LOL!

[Siouxie]

IF I'm gonna have stones coming outta my toes, they better be diamonds. and big ones!

[ubetcha]

"Her rubber-tapper mother Kamariah Kom"

Pogo, do tell.

[Meanie the Blue]

Hi, mom. How was rubber-tapping today?

Not bad, really. Same as usual, you know, but I wish they'd stop sending those weird New York City brands.

[ubetcha]

OK, my geezer mind is burnt out from too much OT crunching numbers this week. I'm waiting for some songster to do the one about "rings in her fingers and bells on her toes," with the camel named Clyde, or at least remind me of the name of the song. I'll think of it as soon as I post, hopefully only once, and make another Cape Codder. TGIF and I don't care if it's only 8 degrees.

[ubetcha]

*snork" @ Meanie

[Stevie W]

ubetcha -

"Ahab the Arab" by Ray Stevens

[CJrun]

For ubetcha:
[just what were you thinking of when you thought of...nevermind]

Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
To see a fine lady upon a white horse.
Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes,
She shall have music wherever she goes.

[Stevie W]

Or maybe "Little Egypt," also Ray Stevens.

[Stevie W]

Papa was a toenail stone
Wherever he laid his hat got ingrown
And when he died
All his fungus was alone

[PirateBoy]

From The Beatles "Come Together": She got toe-gem football?

Sorry, it was the best I could cobble together without feeling like a heel, or having to mention mitosis.

[Siouxie]

How does it feel
Right near your heel
To have fungus ingrown
Decapitated gnome
Like a toe nail stone.

*with my apologies to Dylan*

[Stevie W]

Muy bien, sxi, muy bien.

[Stevie W]

Linda Ronstadt and the Stone Toenails?

You and I
Wonder, can we call the big toe a 'thumb?'
Boy, can it smell. By the way, it's fun
Every time you play nice with me
Whoa, oh....

[Annie Where-but-here]

My name is Mucus,
I live inside your nose.
Hi - we're fungus!
We live between your toes.

And if you feel an itching
something that gets you bitching...

[Siouxie]

thanks, stevie...or should I say Stevie?? didn't mean to make you change yer name with the li'l stevie remark...

LOL Annie!!

[Stevie W]

...can't quite place Annie's melody, assuming there is one...

[Siouxie]

Stevie...be nice

[Stevie W]

That was not an insult.

[Annie Where-but-here]

1987....song is "Luka" by Suzanne Vega. It was about child abuse.
Our bass player would use it at sound check by singing her ownlyrics (my name is mucus, etc.). Yes, we were bad back then.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Luka.

[Stevie W]

Ah, yes, I should gotten it. Nice work.

Your bass player? Was this the church choir or something a little wilder?

[Annie Where-but-here]

all-girl band in LA...late '80's.

[Stevie W]

Was that YOU at that Bas Mitzvah I went to in '88?
I thought you looked familiar.

I'm looking for a bass player near northern OC. Got somebody for me? Hopefully with a voice.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Sorry - I lost track of all the band members in the '90's. Sally had a great voice though.

[Stevie W]

I'm interested to hear a little bit about your band...kind of music, line-ups instrument- and voice-wise, how far you took it, types of gigs, etc...(but I realize I might be putting you on the spot, so no offense taken if you'd rather not answer).

[Annie Where-but-here]

The Tomboys - pop-rock...played the local clubs - Madame Wongs, Troubadour, etc. We were on KROQ a little, had a fanclub, and in the process of signing with A&M Records when our guitarist decided to go solo. Sometimes I really hate guitarists. :(
basic set-up - bassist and guitarist sang leads, I was backing vocals and keyboards, and our drummer was great. We played live and for real, unlike the Bangles. Most groups were going for speed metal at the time, so it was impossible to replace the guitarist.
We used to rehearse at "Uncles" in the SF Valley, then later at "Coles" in Hollywood when a producer backed us. Played 29 Palms Marine Base once. That freaked me out a bit. Anyway, lots of fun.

[Stevie W]

Cool, tre cool. I'm jealous.

I grew up walking distance from the Troub and the Whiskey. I just goof around with 2 or 3 (depending on whether we have a bass player that week) other guys doing what I'd call geezer garage rock. The odds are 50/50 whether we'll ever get a paying gig. Many levels below you, then, but like you said, it's for the fun. And the chicks. Kidding - for the love of the music, of course.

Very nice.

[Stevie W]

"...he would like to have a chance to examine 23-year-old Siti Suhana Saadon, from Alor Gajah near here."

Toe Suhana
Oh don't send me back home
Cos I come from Alor Gajah just
To see your kidney stone.

[Dr. Doug]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, "Where are the damn pictures to follow the report?"

[Siouxie]

LOL Stevie...you're playing my song!

Annie! I can't believe I missed your gigs. I left CA in '84. *slgh* All *I* did was church choir.

[JerseyGirl]

If the lady has stones in her shoe, wouldn't she need a farrier?

[Stevie W]

Oh, yeah, and for the sake of completion, in grad school I was in a doo-wop trio and we did a few shows and parties (still no pay). Now THAT was fun.

Okay, self-indulgent commercial over. We now return control of your television set to you.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Stevie, you are a pun-nut! And I mean that in the best possible way.

[Stevie W]

Don't encourage me.

The Captain and Toenail:

Lint
Lint will keep us together
Think of me pinkie whenever
Some soft woolen socks tease your toes
Know how that goes
Don't mess around,
You just keep on your hose
Just socks
Argyle really suits you
Socks
Even in your boots you
Look so damm hot so let lint
Keep us together
Whatever...

I wool
I wool
I wool

[Annie Where-but-here]

I don't cotton to wooly earworms.
Don't be such a wooly bully!

[Stevie W]

Darn. I thought you'd like it. Darn.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Oh, I did. But now I got that dang song in my head.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Way cool Annie! Play us a solo. You play guitar too, right?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Yes, but not very well. My boys are learning guitar now. They assume everybody's mom is as weird as me. Bwa-ha-ha!

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Annie-I have an acoustic guitar which I pretend to play--at which time my husband pretends he has somewhere else to be.

*strum, stram, clink, clank*

[Cheryl Howard]

Siouxie you did the church choir? Ummmmm. ;-)

High five to all girl bands Annie!

[Annie Where-but-here]

^5
Cheryl - were you in a band?