UPDATE ON MOZART THE ERECT IGUANA
(Thanks to everyone)
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January 26, 2007
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Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
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- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
Hurts just thinking about it...His own fault for not following the instructions on the bottle!
Posted by: Captain Obvious | January 26, 2007 at 04:55 PM
Hey, how come we didn't get a picture of his "red, swollen erection"?
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 26, 2007 at 04:57 PM
Does this mean that Mozart will be singing soprano?
Posted by: estrogen centrale | January 26, 2007 at 04:57 PM
Even if I had 2 I would still consider amputation as the absolute last resort.
Posted by: Mot the Hoople | January 26, 2007 at 04:58 PM
Mozart: I told you Missy Lizard, iguana have a good time.
Posted by: estrogen centrale | January 26, 2007 at 04:59 PM
"It doesn't bother him. He doesn't know what amputation means," said vet Luc Lambrecht, adding that Mozart's sexual activity should be undimmed by the operation.
"I don't think so. That's all in his head."
Dr. Lambrecht -- Iguana Psychologist
Posted by: Kevin In JAX | January 26, 2007 at 05:08 PM
Mozart old buddy, keep a stiff upper, uh nevermind.
Posted by: fivver | January 26, 2007 at 05:12 PM
Are they going to call the "Romanian Surgeon from Hell" as posted in this blog January 19th to do the amputation? Seems like they should ....
Posted by: Sooska | January 26, 2007 at 05:12 PM
"He doesn't know what amputation means..."
Errr...I suspect that he is about to find out what it means..
Posted by: AFKAT | January 26, 2007 at 05:18 PM
He's a lizard, so, it'll grow back, right?
Posted by: Lairbo | January 26, 2007 at 05:20 PM
It's all in his head.
Got that right.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 26, 2007 at 05:22 PM
Yikes.
Reminds me of the time my companion reptile (a turtle) flashed me. ISIANMTU... I'd gotten her as a little squirt. One day, after I'd had her about 5 years or so, over her shoulder she looked me in the eye and proceeded to "let it all hang out." Several times. That was when I realized that she was really he... I could almost hear him saying, "If you call me Frederika* one more time, I'm going to scream!" He fooled the vet, too. When they're juveniles, only another turtle can tell for sure...
*name changed to protect the innocent
Posted by: JerseyGirl | January 26, 2007 at 05:23 PM
Not to worry, Mozart can still make beautiful music.
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | January 26, 2007 at 05:27 PM
ec - he'd be singing in falsetto...
Posted by: mm | January 26, 2007 at 05:39 PM
*snork*@ ec and Lairbo!
Posted by: CJrun | January 26, 2007 at 05:57 PM
Key Quote: "The good news for Mozart and his mates is that male iguanas have two penises."
Posted by: Cretin | January 26, 2007 at 06:23 PM
I dunno Jersey Girl, I think the turtle was probably trying to say, "Hey baybee, how ru? U wanna hook up t'nite, lol?" I would have gotten rid of that turtle.
Posted by: Beppie | January 26, 2007 at 06:28 PM
Blog geezers of the male persuasion -- all I can say is don't OD on the viagra. First lizards, then - who knows?
Posted by: ubetcha | January 26, 2007 at 06:33 PM
Mozart to doc - I donguana!
Posted by: Siouxie | January 26, 2007 at 06:39 PM
Oh that's what they mean by 'reptile brain!'
Posted by: CJrun | January 26, 2007 at 06:41 PM
I got flashed once by Keiko the whale (when he was in Newport). He seemed *very* happy to see all of the people who had come to see him.
Posted by: Kristina L. | January 26, 2007 at 10:12 PM
Iguana help the poor lizard, but how do you gila monster?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 26, 2007 at 11:24 PM
*tosses out his botle of Cialis™*
Posted by: AlanBoss | January 27, 2007 at 02:35 AM
Have I mentioned, "Pictures. Where are the damn pictures?"
Posted by: Dr. Doug | January 27, 2007 at 06:22 AM
Wow, Kristina...
Flashed (and splashed?) by a whale. Another apparent case of mistaken identity. Keiko is a woman's name in Japanese. ;-)
Walter, eat your heart out...
Posted by: JerseyGirl | January 27, 2007 at 09:17 AM
Posted by: Spiny Norman | January 27, 2007 at 02:43 PM
Don't they have two penises because they need two penises, or is one just a spare?
Do lady iguanas have two vaginas?
There are so many questions in science.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | January 27, 2007 at 02:56 PM
That does it.
I'm demanding to be reincarnated as a female iguana...
Posted by: Christine | January 28, 2007 at 01:02 AM
So, when those Cialis ads caution you to see a doctor if your erection lasts more than 4 hours, is this the treatment? They don't mention that in the disclaimers.
Posted by: BKing | January 29, 2007 at 09:42 AM
today is my birthday :)
not more to say :P
Posted by: TateRummaa2 | July 07, 2009 at 04:28 AM