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January 30, 2007


I'll have a column tomorrow providing a detailed report on Super Bowl Media Day. But here are some CrapCam&trade photos I took today.

I drove up to the stadium with my sportswriterette wife, Michelle, and we expected it would take forever on Interstate 95, but we got behind the Chicago Bears buses, which were being escorted by motorcycle police, so we zipped on up there. Michelle took this exclusive photo out the window:
Inside the stadium we could interview the players. I generally do not do this, because they scare me. This is as close as I wanted to get to Brian Urlacher.

By federal law, whenever you get large numbers of sports media persons together, you have to have food.


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you got brunch?


Dave, look like a blast. Was there beer?

Ok, so not first...but I may have been if I did not have to try and figure out what those stupid letters and numbers are that show up every time I post. AARRGGHH!

OT: My fifth grandchild, Hewitt, was born this morning.

So, do the Bears make some sort of donation to the police payroll? or is this your tax dollars at work?

Not that I'm bitter about wasted tax money or anything.

Dave, good thing you didn't get any closer to Urlacher than that. Had you been closer, he would have sensed your fear, then ripped you arm out the socket and beaten you senseless with the bloody stump. That's just the kind of guy he is.

Any bowl game without the SF 49'ers in it just isn't that super. This might be a good weekend to catch up on waxing the PirateMobile, since there won't be anything worthwhile on television....

Congrats Roller Gramma!!! I cede my "first" to you

Keep 'em Rollin' Gramma.

Blog, we hear the Press Box hotdogs are traditionally very good. Please check this out for us.

PirateBoy, it may be a long while till any worthwhile Super Bowls occur again, considering. At least they are geting closer to the point of winning half the games. ... sigh

Totally off topic, but I just got an email from a guy in Ghana offering to give me 20% of 25 million. I'm not interested in that, who needs money? What I am interested in is his request that I "please forgive me for my idignation". Should I forgive him?

casey, he was taking a dig at the nation? That's unforgivable.

Home now! Congrats Roller Gramma!!

Dave, did Michelle take those crapcam photoes in the locker room the we gals requested???

and photos too!!

random: I made a joke very much like yours about Urlacher in my column for tomorrow. Great minds think alike! Also, our minds.

so, about those locker room photos...

I-95 NEVER looks that empty!

yeah...how bout the locker room photos???

casey - nice to see Darren's working for the Nigerian consulate.

I like media day. They have these cute little booths that huge guys sit in, one in each, like at the zoo. But I always feel sorry for the guy sitting there with nobody around him, like he's the really lame sloth exhibit.

Dave, i don't know where Urlacher hails from (i could easily find out but i'm lazy and way too busy drinking beer) but he has all the qualities of a segment of the Chicago boys i went to college with we called the "WEO Boys" real Chicago (sha COH go) guys. guys who would chew the hood ornament off a Mercedes just 'cause it resembled a "peace symbol"

the "WEO" stood for "Where Economy Originates" the slogan of a Chicagoland supermarket of the early 70s, and was taken as sort of a battlecry by, as some others called them, the "dese dem and doze guys." guys who loved to fight and had no need for weapons, hey had fists, and feet, and, in a pinch, (some) teeth.

how the hell these guys ever ended up in a private college in Dubuque Iowa was beyond me, except that it was a Catholic school and well, their dads must have been "conected"

OMG!, I've been Darrenized! In my first post, the should be THAT.


He wasn't taking a dig at the nation. He said, "I dig nation." I.e. He really likes our country.

Why is journalist food always a make-your-own-sandwich bar, muffins in flavors people don't like (rubber cement/bran, anyone?) and lukewarm pasta salad? And yet we devour it like it's haute cuisine. Probably because we are poor. And by poor, I mean that I usually eat lint. Mmm, lint.

Dave, excuse me! The locker room photos!!!!!!

Gee, Dave, I sure wish Mrs. Layzee were a sportswriterette. You owe Michelle big time for this perc. Perhaps she'll take it out in trade. It's your duty to repay her, ya know.

Dave....do you really call her 'sportswriterette' to her face?

"Damn the Tancredos - full speed ahead!"

Thanks for clarifying, Bryan.

Look carefully at the first picture - to take it, Michelle had to lean out the passenger window and aim a shiny object (camera or gun?) at a couple of highway patrolpersons.....is that cop roulette or what?

Dave - I now know why nobody messes with you - Michelle's got your back.

rickh: probably the same company; in NC that WEO stuff came from Foodtown, which became Foodlion.

So did you and/or Michelle do the gracious Queenie wave out the window to all of the lesser beings as you passed them on 95?

Off topic - We need some one funnier than me to respond to some recent posts in the "Stinging Rebuttal" thread.

*zips in*


I'm in heaven. Dave *zipped*.

I feel like I've made a contribution to the betterment of society.

Color me happy. :)

*snork* @ damn the Tancredos!

Patrick, apparently those cold winters spark some hot tempers! And Loafer-Wearing Sissies would NOT BAGNFARB.

*rummages through Big Box of Crayolas® looking for one marked "happy"*

It's 12 degrees below 2.308 feet of snow - what else are ya gonna do in Denver in January but blog nasty stuff at the Post?

Hey, Annie, belated congrats to your son and his spelling bee performance! (Stoopid judge)

Thanks. Maybe someday he'll be writing for the...(wait for it)...Denver Post.

Perhaps not so great for him, but the Post would be better off.

Annie...congrats to the little guy. Same thing happened to me in 4th grade in a state capital bee. I got hosed by a judge who trusted his own memory instead of the cheat sheet with the correct answers in front of him. The kid who beat me broke his leg the next day. Near as I can remember that was my very first SNORK.

Layzee, did you have a buddy named Jeff Gillooly?

That was SUPER, Dave!

SuperDave?? Where??

up in the sky?

I't a bird..........(next)

On top of Tancredo,
All covered with goo
I lost my respect,
for Coloradooooo.

It's a plane...

"I't a bird"....I speak not well so tonite, huh?

Whatever you're drinkin', Jazzzz, I'll have some!


Is this Super Dave I see before me?
Crash suit gouted with blood?
Duck, let you miss me
Tumbling cycle aimed towards my thighs.

never mind jazz, i'll have what cj's having!

*snorks* all around

Annie - Sorry to hear about your son. Glad to hear that you are sticking up for him and helping him move on after this little battle was lost. Very unfair, but The Fair is where we ride rides and eat cotton candy. Reality is not fair.

A very wise woman told me recently that I was empowering my children by being involved. Kudos to you. Your boys will take 1st and 2nd place next year.

cg, I hope you're pulling our legs, but you really know that the great Super Dave was..., well he was that thing between Evel Knievel and Jack@ass!

Although I had a discussion with a youngster, recently, about demolition derby cars, because the youngster asked, and the youngster said, 'You mean they crash into each other?' Of course!

Danged MTV and videogames!

Look at that lovely, non-third world highway. That reminds me, I just wanted to take a moment to share these

Anagrams for "Tom Tancredo":
Not Democrat
Tom Cared Not!
Tater Condom!
Mod Acne Trot.
To Rodent-cam.
Tent Odor-cam.
Don MacOtter!
Mo' Rotten Cad
Nerd MacToot
Tomcat Drone
Taco Nerd Tom
Demon Arc-Tot
Da Corn Totem
Re: Dam Cotton
Damn Rec Toot!
Random Octet
Doormat Cent
Cod No Matter
Co-Ed Matron T.
Ted, Moron Act

My personal favorite is tater condom.

geez, kids these days....

no leg pulling here. somehow i missed super dave. probably too busy watching stupor duck.

Patchy, I'm partial to Taco Nerd Tom. Meanwhile, East Coast, Get Ready; House in 6 minutes!

cg, I'm sorry to hear that. Here's a brief on Super Dave.

House just tripped a running, screaming patient with his cane, then paralyzed him. You don't get action like that on '24!'

"Nerd MacToot"? sounds like a great name for the lead character in a new Dave Barry or Carl Hiassen book

CJ....Are you moving tortoises tomorrow? Torti...Tortilinni...Testortirone...Tancredoses...??

I am always wrong about these things, so lets make it a streak. I think that young actress is Marisa Tomei's daughter. She just seems to have her eyes.

Hey Dave, They mentioned your presence at Media Day on SportCenter, by saying "Even the American Idol rejects and Pulitzer Prize Winning Humor Columnist Dave Barry were there." That's high praise...

Dave was on American Idol? Who knew?

"WEO" stood for "Where Economy Originates" the slogan of a Chicagoland supermarket of the early 70s,

Huh. I sooooooooooo don't remember that. Jewel? Dominics? But then, I was a newlywed at the time and had other things to deal with; like whose turn it was on top.

So, Dave, still waiting on those locker room photos.

Jazzzz, to make thing's more interesting, I'm not. Just a great day, today and Thursday became more compressed. Now, Thursday, I get to do that and a dog and pony show. The good news is that I don't have to face Brian Urlacher.

Correction - Dave was on "American Idle." But then he moved to Miami and got a job.

/OT - btw - my son's teacher asked him how he did in the spelling bee, and he said, "3rd, but they misheard what I said."
Her reply - "Life sucks and then you die."
To a 4th grader. /OT rant

YAY Michelle!!! An action shot!!!

(I'm thinking an article from you about what it's like to be a female sportswriter would be a really fun read. How 'bout it??)

And you can tell us ALL about the locker room. We won't look, we promise! ;-P

Well, maybe a peek but we won't ogle.

I've always wondered why they always put dogs and ponies in a show together. Why not say, rats and alpacas....or parrots and weasels, or snakes and politicians??? I get tired of watching dogs and ponies, ponies and dogs, gheeeeesh!

Annie - that teacher might just as well have said, "I don't give a sh!t about you or how you feel." end rant

annie! i didn't know our kids went to the same school. small world!

jazzzz, i'm pretty sure in tijuana you can see the rat and alpaca show. oh wait, no, no, nevermind.

The dogs are for security and the ponies are for pulling the tent-poles up. I just wanted to say something before I go into Wednesday mode.

This blog is haunted by writers and if I'm indoors, I have to write many hours a day. I watched an amazing program tonight and I think those writers knocked it out of the park. My congratulations to the writers for House. If there are other television programs that good, I don't want to know about them. I have books to read!

OK Dave, you're saving it all for the column, aren't you? Anybody might think you were a Pulitzer Prize winning columnist who likes to get paid now and again. Hmmpf.

And for The War- I like Nerd MacToot.

I say we sic (sic) CJ on Darren.


Another Dave column?! Can this be? Is Dave coming out of "retirement'? Does this mean he'll be rejoining the media spotlight? Will he be wearing underpants while making the social appearances? (Good lord we can only hope so.) Someone alert the pundits. And Tom Tancredo!

Slightly confused, here.... (which is an improvement in itself, usually I'm really confused)
I thought the votes were in, the recount done, all hanging/swinging/pregnant chads (personally, I think the swinging chads are responsible for the pregnant chads, but I digress) were accounted for, and the decision was made... for an underwear-optional blog, social appearances or not. *sigh*

And Holy Tancredo! Another Dave column! *bliss*

It's Superbowl. In Miani. An irresistable temptation of the magnitude of say an exploding whale right in the neighbor's backyard, where it can be seen but you, personally don't have to clean up the mess.

coffee's on! What do we want for b'fast?

mm - I'll have the waffles, hold the spam.

Oh, and Mot: sorry, didn't mean to cramp your style! Propose to as many blogchicks as you like. We can all compare notes later on your style and creativity.

waffles sounds yummy. OK, we have waffles, I only have the Belgian-type iron. To go on top we have syrup, cinnamon honey, fresh sliced fruit, and whipped cream. Sorry, it's the can kind, but real. Alongside, we have the ever-popular bacon, spam for Hammie, and for those of us from the Philly area, scrapple, the Habbersett's&trade kind.

For all the purists out there (ok, it's me) there's whipped cream (non-canned) at my place. And I have a belgian waffle iron too, so maybe we can keep up with the hungry bloggers! :)

oooh yum, thanks NT. So now the canned whipped cream can be saved for backup. Or other activities best left unmentioned.

I think we can trust someone on this blog to mention those activities, mm. NNTAWWT, really.

"NTTAWWT" Sheesh... after a lengthy nap and tons of chocolate, I still can't type.

Oh, and I forgot - hot cocoa in addition to coffee. With Nurse Tammy's real whipped cream. Made with *gasp* whole milk. Yes, you can have both.

*looks in pantry*
We can even make that hazelnut cocoa made with whole milk, topped with whipped cream, and chocolate sprinkles.
My, aren't we decadent this morning?

Siouxie should be checking in soon, and possible Meanie and Steve. As well as Mot, but for an afternoon snack. Maybe we can put together a BLT for Mot.

NT, you've hit on my weakness. Heaven! And we aren't even going to consider ex... the e-word later to burn it off. This is blog breakfast and everything is full-fat and full-flavor with no calories. So dig in.

Hey, since blog calories don't count, why don't we make the cocoa with half-and-half? Yum.

even better, NT. And we might consider augmenting it. Brandy or rum? Frangelico? Kahlua?

Frangelico for mine. The hazelnut really appeals to me for some reason this morning.

Good morning ladies!! I brought some spinach quiche for the veggie portion of our breakfast. I'll have one of each (except the Spam™). Hazelnut cocoa for me, thanks! It's nippy here in Miami. And the weather's cool too!

Mornin' all, just got back from seeing clients in a gold mining area called Springs (go figure). It used to be a city in it's own right but has been gobbled up by Johannesburg's urban sprawl. mmmm "Urban Sprawl" WBAGNFARB.

I see nothing's changed on this blog, everyone's still waffling. NT yesterday I promised to try to refrain from proposing, but it's nice to get your official sanction nevertheless.

Anyway I'll have mine with syrup and cream, oh, and a large latte would not be frowned upon.

Mot, did you want that latte "augmented"?

Mot, did you bring anything shiny (gold) for us gals???

hrmph. i'm insulted that mot never proposes to me AND no one called me for breakfast. any waffles left?

sounds like dave had mucho fun yesterday at 'Media Day'. unfortunately, there are no locker room pictures acompanying the article. dang, more coffee is required.

*gives crossgirl stack of waffles fresh off the griddle*
*gives witchlesa an augmented coffee*

cg, plenty of stuff left! (don't worry..he hasn't proposed to ME either..ditto on the hmmph!)

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