SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

Comments

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Three dog years or three people years?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Derek Benton, 62, and his brother David, 53, were found guilty of providing their pet Labrador, Rusty, with an inappropriate diet.

Uhoh, half the parents in America are guilty of that.

[Punkin Poo]

Okay, Vet's wife "weighing" in here....when will Congress (or some intelligent form of government - oxymoron aside) enact some kind of legislation whereby people who want either pets or kids have to take and PASS a rigorous training course?????

Women are popping out kids like puppies - with 3 or 4 or 5 different men, and treat the kids like poop, and responsible folks who would do ANYTHING to give the world to ONE baby have to spend months taking tests, getting trained, having their backgrounds checked - all so they can pay out the nose for a baby.

It's killin' me.

Ok....resume funny fat dog jokes.

[crossgirl]

good thing the guy was a crane operator, must have needed his skills to hoist the dog up for his walkies.

[Punkin Poo]

Did the article mention how many "stone" the owners weigh? Cause I'm guessing about a two-story house's worth...

[jon]

FYI..
69.8 kilograms = 153.882659 pounds

That's a large lab!

[Meditrina]

DING DING DING

Punkin hit it right on the nose. Big, fat, overweight doggie nose.

[casey]

Well, I hear walrusi have been exercising to control their weight...maybe Rusty should try out their plan.

[Stevie W]

They've already signed Rosie O'Donnell for the pic. They just can't decide which of the three starring roles to give her.

[Punkin Poo]

Med - Thank you..... *bows*

[Punkin Poo]

Stevie w - Trump's hair can star as the dog.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Dog was seen chasing this cat veery slowly . . .

[crossgirl]

*bows* or *bow wows*?

[Stevie W]

Lol, p-poo. Now if we can write in a few roles for some Miss-USA-gone-wild types we got a sure fire winner.

[Punkin Poo]

crossgirl....you callin' me a dog?? :)

[crossgirl]

no ma'am, just trying to lighten up this heavy subject.

[Meditrina]

On a lighter note, there's a new fat farm hosted by the RSPCA.

Guaranteed to lose weight on a high protein, high fiber diet that tastes like Sh!te. "Mud" masks, mani/pedis are optional, but scooping poop isn't.

[Punkin Poo]

good, crossgirl, cuz I'd hate for us to get into a cat fight!

(The boys just don't deserve to see that. At least not for free!)

[Meanie the Blue]

Eleven stone equals 154 pounds, and 1 British pound currently equals 1.939 dollars. Therefore Rusty weighed $238.61. At roughly $12 a case, Rusty weighed nearly as much as 25 cases of beer.

I hate to say this, but the only solution is to switch Rusty to light beer.

*Hic*

[Wyo Cowboy]

I wish meanie had been my math teacher, now it all makes sense.

[KDF]

Man.

Doggie Weight ==> British currency ==> American currency ==> Beer, all in one fell post swoop.

*applauds, assumes the role of German Olympic judge and flashes the "9.9" card for Blue*

[Stevie W]

Ona and one and one is three.

[KDF]

Further scoring explanation: 1/10th deduction was taken because as Meanie well knows, light beer is never the answer.

[CJrun]

*snork @ cg ^ 'walkies'*

What terrible journalism! Where's the obligatory oosik reference?

OK, back to chores and play....

[Meanie the Blue]

*SNORK!* at Stevie w's (unintentional, I presume) crossing of Lawrence Welk with the Fab Four.

[diverdowndoc]

*Southern judge holds up 10 card*

[bookworm]

CJ, under all that fat can they find an oosik?

So will it become human cruelty to allow your spouse/kids to get overweight soon?

[Meanie the Blue]

*Is troubled by the notion of someone wanting me as their math teacher*
*Is even more troubled by the notion that Insom IS someone's math teacher* ;)
*Is grateful for the generous scoring of the German and Southern judges*
*Awaits disqualification by the West Virginia judge, i.e., Prof. Insom, for my as-yet unnoticed miscalculation*

[mm]

so now the dog's lost 3.5 stone, *quick mental math* means he weighs about 105lbs. That's still a big dog. And I agree with Punkin - that's abuse.
Although we do have a fat cat, she's nowhere near twice what she should weigh. And then there's our Great Pekingese (new breed, IBW=27lbs) but he's not fat, just huge. And... wait,someone's knocking...
*looks out window, sees RSPCA van*
Uh oh...

[diverdowndoc]

Meanie- we judges of the female persuasion didn't catch the miscalculation because we can't do math- all our lives we have been told that this ___________________ is six inches.

[mm]

LMAO @ diver...

[Meditrina]

LMAO/ROFL Diver. That was a 10 according to the Midwestern judge.

[Meanie the Blue]

(*SNORK!*)

Can't believe people would hoodwink you like that, ddd, when that is plainly eight inches. (Maybe a bigger .... monitor might help?)

[diverdowndoc]

Or a magnifying glass?

[diverdowndoc]

and some tweezers.

[Glix]

*Tosses Milky-Cat in the bathroom, displays leaner kitty Teggie for all to see* No, no overweight kitties here!

(I don't know what's wrong--we feed them exactly what the bag suggests, and they don't eat scraps or sneak people food.)

[mm]

downer alert!!
we're joking about our hefty pets, victims of too much "love." But I just read this about a unprincipled doctor who evidently will do anything to make a buck. I can't seem to get rid of it so I'm sharing the misery. I'm so mad I could spit! Sorry.

End of downer. I'm counting on you guys for that..

[Meanie the Blue]

*Wipes face*

I understand and share your rage, mm. I wouldn't mind testing a few devices on that doc.

[mm]

maybe we can get Jack to shoot this guy in the, uh, thigh. Yeah, that's it.

Then this__would be six inches. I'm sure the blog can think up even more gruesome consequences...

[CJrun]

Nope. Not gonna go there on this fine Saturday. Wouldn't be prudent.

[Cheryl Howard]

Egad. I read that sotry about the doc yesterday.

Kinda makes a person wanna duck tape one of Edward squeaky toys to his neck and give him 2 minute head start to begin running. You know, just as a teaching example.

And Edward being our 135 pound Great Dane (without an ounce of chubb) who is VERY possesive of his toys.

[Cheryl Howard]

Cj! Speaking of dogs I have been meaning to ask you some Roomba related questions. Like have you been able to modify one to not choke on dog hair?

[diverdowndoc]

When I was first out of medical school and starting my internsip, we had a lab in which you learn and practice procedures that are required skills for Trauma certification. Pigs were used (anesthetized and sedated), and I initally refused to do the lab(I am a vegetarian, and though we were not required to eat the pigs afterwards, I still had big ethical issues with my personally having a hand in killing a pig that didn't deserve it.) The surgeons running the lab bullied me into doing it. Since we were learning life-saving skills and were killling the pig during the process, by the end of the day I was in there with both hands on the pig's heart trying to keep it alive. No one else was wroking so hard.

I decided that day that I would not be doing it again.

When I switched residency, I had the same thing come up- this time with dogs. I had been through this before, and I flatly refused. It had taken me a year to get over killing the pig, and I d@mn sure wasn't killing a dog for medical demonstration purposes. It is a credit to my residency director that he supported my decision and did not try to bully me. I knew my ethical line at that point, and I had crossed it with the pig. The other residents said that they all felt horrible and the ones with dogs at home said that they felt their animals' disapproval.

I do not object to the use of animals in general for true medical research (cosmetics are a different issue), but I sure wish we could test medical procedures and experiments on less innocent life forms- say, congresspeople.

I need a vegetarian gumball, now.
/end rant

[casey]

Personal to Siouxi: If you see this, please email me, I have something I want to talk to you about.

THX!!!

resume snorkage please.

[crossgirl]

we had a lab in which you learn and practice procedures that are required skills for Trauma certification.

so glad you followed that up with the lab being a pig, and not a labrador. i was expecting the worst!

kudos to you ddd!!

[crossgirl]

back on topic,
the name of the motion picture can be lardie, come home!

[mm]

diver -I had the same problem in pharmacy school. They allowed me to write a detailed description of the procedure instead, for which I have always been thankful. I was also glad to be on the ED50 side of the lab versus the LD50, even if there were "just mice." And rats. That's what provoked my insane labrat escape post on an earlier thread (with your inspiration of course.) But I do have some fond memory of those labs. Testing for the ED50 of ether, we eventally were all quite silly and laughing. I can't imagine why, I'm sure it had nothing to do with all that ether in the air. And there were a few lab mice and rats that "got lost" in labcoat pockets, too,

[mm]

*snork* at cg, but would the film star the lab "Rusty," the cat "Hercules," that skunk that's stranded in Canada, or one of our (much more svelte) pets?

[insomniac]

*Is even more troubled by the notion that Insom IS someone's math teacher*
lots of someones! and i get paid for it,too!

*has to mark blue down because $238.61 would only be about 20 cases at $12/case*

at the department of parental certification:

"i'd like to take the parent test please"

"do you have a learner's permit?"

"yes, i've only been parenting with a licenced parent present, and not after dark"

"o.k, let's see your logbook., you've changed 120 diapers, answered the same questions 45 times without raising your voice , and helped make three school projects the night before they were due."

"when is the road test?"

"in 5 minutes, you're going to be an all-day chaperone on a field trip to Disney World."

*shudder* "o.k. , by the way, why is there an x-ray machine by that exit over there? shouldn't it be by the entrance?"

"those people failed, hopefully it sterilizes them."

[CJrun]

ddd; I was on a neurosurgery research track and decided to go to grad school for marine science, for those reasons.

Cheryl, if you caught the 'Finally' post, yesterday, those are made from a model I-Robot is selling, specifically for people to modify. To me, the size/ shape/speed/mobility of the existing model is terrific- I don't want to change the critter too much, I want to modify the collection bin and a docking station. The beast can be programmed to head to a docking station when it's getting full [around twenty minutes in my 'Lab tests,' where I borrow my friend's living room, occupied by two yellow Labs ]. So, this second docking station would have a connection to a separate vacuum unit; think the opposite of a mid-air refueling. I am so getting myself one of those modifiable units to play with, as mine is fine for my dog-less house, so I don't want to be cutting holes in it.

[mm]

CJ - you and my husband together would be frightening pair. He used to be a research physicist. We have some interesting "invented" items at our house, too.

Oh, and *snork* at your "mid-air refueling" in reverse.

[Meditrina]

Guys and gals, thank you for your perspective of medical school. I am sure it was no fun whatsoever.

I am not in that field, other than being the occasional patient and a parent of patients with ongoing health concerns. But as a patient, I am relieved that students must practice on mammals, other than humans. I, for one, would not want to be the body you practiced on for your first attempt.

So, as hateful and ugly as it is, using animals in place of humans seems to be a reasonable alternative in this case. Perhaps this is one of those necessary evils. Not dissin'. Just sayin'.

[diverdowndoc]

*snork* at insomniac's test

[CJrun]

Speaking of practicing, may I present the iRobot Create. This was the base platform for the hamster vacuum and the get a beer from the fridge models.

Gotta run; Evil Partner In Crime's birthday, which means beer to be slurped, food to be eaten, as well as the designing of barges to carry RVs along scenic waterways!

[Stevie W]

...or Rin Tin Ton.

[crossgirl]

high fives stevie! good one!

i would like to buy the blog a round of drinks. i have officially and almost completely rid my home of christmas decorations. i expect the boxes to make it from my room to the attic sometime before the superbowl and the outdoor lights should be down pre-easter. quite possibly a crossgirl family record!

[ShyJan]

CG,
I'd like a tall glass of Pinot Noir, please

[Siouxie]

*zips in a min*

*snorks*

Stephen King's "Peugeot"

btw, casey?? emailed ya!

*zips out* (thanks Cookie)

[BT]

But as a patient, I am relieved that students must practice on mammals, other than humans. I, for one, would not want to be the body you practiced on for your first attempt.

Strike a blow for rational thinking. I'm glad someone said it.

BT

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Well, I haven't read this entire thread, but...Insom's a math teacher???

[insomniac]

ack! outed again!

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Well Insom, it sounds wrong to say that I have a whole new respect for math teachers, because frankly, I can't do math and am in awe of anyone who can. But now...to found out math teachers (or at least one) also have a mind-bending sense of humor???!!! It's just so unfair.

*Wishes I knew Insom when I was flunking algebra in high school.*

[Stevie W]

Don'y get carried away. Insom once told me he thought "pre-calculus" was a dental school class.

[KDF]

crossgirl, you're not alone, I'm still workin' on Christmas cards.

They contain a "Happy New Year" type greeting, but I'll be happy if they're in the mail by President's Day.

[daisymae]

I'm with LBFF..."insom's a math teacher?"

Although now that I think about it, that's no more ridiculous than that I, an English major and arithmetic impaired individual, am Finance Manager for a company that does over $8M/year in business.

Insom, you'll love this. A conversation at work:

Coworker: How do I figure out how many people I can have in the course to be at 96% of the course paid in full?

Me: Divide the number that are already paid in full by .96.

Coworker: No!

Me: Yes.

Person: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

Coworker figures, looks at me like I'm from another planet: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

Coworker: How do you know this?

Me: It's called Algebra I. Did you go to high school?

[diverdowndoc]

Male docling is having his birthday party tonight and I have a house full of screaming 9-year-olds (male docling is also 9- not 40, like Michael Jackson). Female docling, who is a little younger, comes running away from them periodically screaming that they are doing something to her (hitting with pillows, particularly), when the story really is that she instigated it. *sigh*

Anybody got the bar open yet?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Poor ddd...
*pours ddd a 'kiddy-chill' (vodka with a juicebox)

Hopefully more med schools will be using this soon. Cost vs. conscience, I guess.

[OtheU(manity)]

... um ... sorta wonderin' about the link posted by mm (and subsequent comments by ddd and others) ... I'm not sure of the downer/upper/sideways aspects, 'cuz I'm readin'/learnin' from a somewhut bewildered/curious POV ...

Whut seems to be described in this link appears to be quite similar to the procedures used to stabilize (and preserve/protect the life of) my co-worker's wife, when she had the aneurysm last month ... [Update on her condition: She's now at home, resting/recovering comfortably, with no apparent loss of memory or muscular control/function] ... the way it's been described to me was that the Drs. @ Minnepoopilis used ... " ... coils, to repair and/or strengthen" ... the blood vessels in which the aneurysms [three of them] were found.

This procedure was not totally successful, in that the need arose for them to also use other techniques (don't exactly remember whut I wuz told about that part) to correct some problems with the largest and most persistent/resistant-to-repair aneurysm ...

So ... my question(s) might have most to do with the nature of "if they already know how to do this, why are they testing on animals" ... or, possibly "maybe this is a 'new, improved' version of the same deal?" ... or ... um ... "I'd really like to discuss some of this, more, with some folks ..." ... or ... "if this procedure saved her life, and his sanity, how did they develop it in the first place, and were animals used to test it and ..." and ... (related to that last item) " ... if it saved her life, is that a bad thing?"

Sorta ... ambiguously ... confused ... somewhut ... and not necessarily advocatin' any particular slant on the whole concept, or endorsing/chastising the folks in the linked story ...

(NEbuddy wishin' to discuss with, or enlighten moi ownself on any of above subject matter is welcome to use my email addy instead of takin' up space here on the blog ... but, put somethin' in the "subject" line, so it doesn't get trashed by the junk filter, or by me, when I see it ...)

[mm]

OtheU - they weren't testing the product. They were doing a sales demo. That is what made me so angry. Testing of new drugs and products occur on animals and, I believe, rightly so. This was, in essence, a stimulated aneurysm and euthanized animal so that the doctor could show off his stuff.

[OtheU(manity)]

Oh.

OK.

Much clearer, now ... if I'd've read your post more carefully, and the story more carefully, I should've caught that.

My mistake.

Hopin' y'all understand my ... um ... stoopidness ... in the conversation ... (chalk it up to creepin' oldness, if not somethin' else ...)

[CJrun]

Very late note to this thread, but a true one. When I was 16 and my family moved to the US I was prepared to go to college, because that was what they told me. A math teacher, Ms. Kalevas, pulled me aside and asked me if I was sure that's what I wanted to do. She convinced me to do the impossible, to put myself back and attend high school for another year. [admit it. you wouldn't have] The year after I finally graduated, Ms. Kalevas was named NC High School Teacher of the Year. A great lady, deserving of a toast!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Perhaps. But does she know how to put a tv back together?

[AlanBoss]

All I can add is....

"Coo Coo Katchoo."

[OtheU(manity)]

"Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio ...?"