FUNERAL GOT YOU DOWN?

Cheer up! We've got dead squirrels!

(Thanks to Joe Wells and Russell Mc)

Comments

[casey]

I'm happy!!

[Edgar Greenberg]

Dead squirrels will cheer anyone up.

[Suzy Q]

What the hell kind of crack are these people smoking? I think I need some!

[casey]

"This is to show kids when they come for a funeral and they cry"

The poor kids won't be able to cry. They'll spend the remainder of their lives in a corner, crouched in a fetal position, rocking back and forth.

[Edgar Greenberg]

Hey you used my quote. I feel honored.

[Hammond Rye]

OK, that link has changed wording three times so far!

Oh, and that guy is very disturbing...

[Edgar Greenberg]

Look kids if you keen on annoying me with yer endless cryin', it won't be squirrels in them exhibits ya hear.

[casey]

Sam Sanfillippo: sounds like he done fillippoed right outta his head.

[Nurse Tammy]

Yeah, it'll be Darren, right? *snicker*

[Sam Sanfillippo]

Darren? Who's Darren?

[Siouxie]

hehe...stuffed Darren....

[Mot the Hoople]

I don't think I ever needed to see topless squirrels doing a girlie review, this after Siouxie's 8 x 10. This is weird shit man.

[sirena]

I hope Darren is finally off his period(s).

[casey]

The following is courtesy of Placebo:

Dead squirrel/monkey in the place to be
Riding in a rocket to a planet of sound
in a funeral home, playing poker in drag
An increase in population of a hundred percent

Dead squirrel/monkey in the place to be
with a chemical peel and a picture of poor Aunt Mary
out on a limb in the carnival of me
raising the temperature one hundred degrees

we're sown together
she’s born to mesmer
beside, astride her
I die inside her

[Siouxie]

awww Mot...you like???

*blushes*

[casey]

I think I just made myself sick.

[casey]

I think I just made myself sick.

[casey]

I think I just made myself sick.

[sirena]

casey's really sick, you guys.

[Siouxie]

*slaps casey*

better???

[casey]

&$%#!#$ BOT!!!

[Mot the Hoople]

Sooz, this town aint big enough for the both of us, it's either me or yor hair that's gotta go.

[Nurse Tammy]

Ahh... just one more time before I go to sleep. Ready, Siouxie, mm (if you're stil blurking)?

*preparing to whack the bot*

[Siouxie]

*flashes bot*

[Nurse Tammy]

casey - isn't a triple-self-simul just a bit much? You're not a gymnast, are you?

[Nurse Tammy]

*WHACKWHACKWHACKWHACK!!! BLAMM* Oops, I think I shot the evil spambot. *Wish I thought of that before!*

*evil grin*

[Mot the Hoople]

The bot is beginning to show signs of sentience again, sic Wonder Woman on to it.

[Addicted to 24]

Where was this yesterday when I went to the funeral of my

[Siouxie]

Mot, I was wearing a wig sheesh...

the rest of me is real though. *wink*

[Addicted to 24]

take two

buddy Noah?

[KCSteve]

Did anyone else catch the fact that we're talking about a zombie funeral director?

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

The current manager explained: "We're happy to have Sam and his collection here, but when he dies we'll be just as happy to stuff Sam and add him to the collection."

[Siouxie]

I'm sure Sam would be pleased to rest amongst his critters, Chris.

[estrogen centrale]

DPC, from the photo of him, looks like that might have already happened!

[Olo Baggins of Bywater]

Not only that, but a zombie funeral director who wears a red blazer.

[Mot the Hoople]

Stuffed Sam Sanfillippo, is just too much Alliteration for my tired brain.

[estrogen centrale]

Mot,
Cross your arms on the desk, put your head down, and take a zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[Stevie W]

"... he says he was briefly declared dead in 1944 when a large shell exploded above his unit."

That happened to me once when I was cracking walnuts and I dropped one in my lap.

[Mot the Hoople]

EC, not long now as it's edging up to midnight in this here neck of the woods. Oops! maybe I should stay out of the woods, Thomas Crapper's lurking about in them thar woods.

[estrogen centrale]

Sweet dreams, Mot...

[Sam Sanfillippo]

Did I tell you bout that time back in 1943. I was a private in the army. We waz in Africa at the time. Uh oh geez, grandpa's gettin old.

[Christobol]

This really should cheer people up.

"Just as this squirrel has been stuffed and placed in a fun position for the entertainment of all, your gramps is now stuffed and sitting on Gabriel's bookshelf in a gratuitously silly pose!"

[Sam Sanfillippo]

All I got left are me squirrals and me memories, and I'm losing them too.

[Christobol]

These props also help the people speaking at the funeral.

"Speaking of stuffed beavers, one time in college, and this was before Jeff met Emily..."

[Annie Where-but-here]

There once was a large garden gnome,
That was mooning a funeral home.
"Oh, that's just sicko!"
"No, that's Sam Phillipo,
He passed, now he's stuffed full of foam."

[Christobol]

"Relax, Jimmy! Those squirrels aren't REALLY eating your gramps nuts! They're stuffed squirrels! I just set 'em up that way for fun!"

[mudstuffin]

"we're sown together
she’s born to mesmer
beside, astride her
I die inside her"

er... nice work, casey

(rocks back and forth sucking his thumb)

[Stevie W]

"...a squirrel rocks back and forth in a chair while smoking a pipe and reading a book..."

Dave wrote a book?

[Annie Where-but-here]

something I never thought I'd say (today, anyway)-
-All those dead animals need catchy titles.

[Stevie W]

Ben Stiller is buying the movie rights to "Night at the Funeral Home" as we speak.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Why did the squirrel cross the road?
screeeeech - whump!

Ooops....hey, Sam - we've got a fourth for poker.

[Meanie the Blue]

Someone on this blog had a recipe for stuffed squirrel a ways back, no?

[Annie Where-but-here]

The Sixth Sense meets Over the Hedge:

"I see dead weasels."

[Stevie W]

lol, aw.

Sam Sanfillippo on Mel Brooks:

"We don't need no stinking badgers."

[Annie Where-but-here]

btw - I feel compelled to mention that this is located in the same town as my company's corporate headquackers. Let's just say that I've seen a couple of those stuffed squirrels at meetings.

[Esther]

I don't know about you, but the sight of a squirrel as a road pizza always cheers me. One less bugger looting the bird feeder...

[Sam Sanfillippo]

And then the road pizza squirrel can be given a durn cute little bow, and be displayed eating a pizza.

[bookbabie]

Why, why, all the discrimination against squirrels (and people named Darren) on this blog?

[Cat R.]

Loved this movie

"Call Starkist!"

[Stevie W]

"...and be displayed eating a pizza."

Lol, sam. You still got it.

[Annie Where-but-here]

bookbabie - Dave has uncovered a terrorist plot by squirrels, yes, squirrels, to undermine our great country by short circuiting our electrical system. Tancredo is trying to put the kibosh on Dave's furry expose by discrediting Dave as '3rd world.' After all, 'tancredo' is Italian for 'walnut.'

[Annie Where-but-here]

Sam, I see the squirrel more as a pizza delivery guy-
"Dominuts, may I take your order?....sure, what's your address? ....Oh, nuts, that's across the street, isn't it?....sigh..."

[Stevie W]

After all, 'tancredo' is Italian for 'walnut.'
--------------------
Tom Tancredo is not now, nor never has been, anywhere near my lap. (Including at 4:37 pm today.)

[Annie Where-but-here]

relax, Stevie - it's only kinky the first time.

[Stevie W]

Wasn't that a failed Texas gubernatorial campaign slogan?