FOR THOSE WHO REALLY LOVE NEW YORK

(Thanks to Michael McNelis)

Comments

[ShyJan]

First?

[wingpup]

Second.

[mudstuffin]

ahh, nothing is a bigger turn-on than a municipal prophylactic device.

[Stevie W]

Start spreading the news...

[Siouxie]

Will it be apple red?

[Stevie W]

Suggested name: The Hudson Ribber

[croket]

I was thinking it would be pink...

[mm]

that fellow who got lost for 5 days earlier this week could have used one of these...

[mm]

I've seen family planning ads on the sides of busses, but this is just bass ackwards

[Just Ducky]

They should imprint those condoms with pictures of K-Fed and Twitney.

[Siouxie]

lol, stevie

or the "The Man Hat On"

[fivver]

Maybe for the NTTAWWT folks a brand named 'Queens'. *ducks*

[Siouxie]

The Man Hat'n sounds better

*look at my pen*

*ZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP*

lol, stevie

or "The Man Hat'n"

[Just Ducky]

Siouxie, did you clicky-thingy me????

[Siouxie]

hmmmmmm no, Ducky...course not.

[Lairbo]

The best way for them to gauge "usage" is by how many of the discarded wrappers they find tossed on the ground. I wish that was a joke. I can just imagine the poor shmo municipal worker whose job it becomes to troll secluded areas of city parks scouring the ground for "Market Research".

If they don't name them "Coney Island Whitefish" or "Hudson River Whitefish" they're missing out on a branding goldmine.

[Just Ducky]

I meant flashy-thingy. Are you sure???

[pogo]

The Bronx Bomber?

[Just Ducky]

I think Siouxie's on the right track; they should be red, have a picture of a big apple on the wrapper, and the slogan would be "An Apple A Day Keeps the Doctor Away."

[Jazzzz]

*snork* steve w.......Ducky, you read my mind with K-d!ckhead.

[Lairbo]

snork @ "Bronx Bombers". Mets fans could use "The Amazin's".

[Jazzzz]

For those well endowed guys."the Long Island"?

[Just Ducky]

Ooooh, Jazzzz, you read MY mind with "Long Island."

[Hanna]

3rd leading cause of death in the city? Isn't that an epidemic?

Note to self--cancel vacation plans including east coast.

[Clean Hands]

Just gotta make sure you pronouce that with the accentuated "g," Jazzzzz.

[Lairbo]

Jzz & JstDky: I had held back proposing the name "Shlong Island." I see now how wrong that was.

For sophisticated, literate types, there'd be the "Eustace Ticklers."

[Beppie]

Yeah, there's a souvenir you want your mom bringing home after her trip to New York.

[CJrun]

Lots of *snorks* in here!

Coney Island Foot Longs?

And for you NY gals planning on pulling a train, may we interest you in our Subway series multi-pack?

[pogo]

psst hanna - you'd probably be ok so long as you don't, uh, drink the water? If you get my drift.

[pogo]

And for the more effeminate, we have The Staten Island Fairy.

*knows he's going to hell*

[Just Ducky]

*snork* at Lairbo--you Trollope!

[fivver]

hanna, I'd also stay out from...

Under the board walk
out of the sun

[mm]

the "tube"?
Honestly, I can't think of a less glamorous image of NewYork to use for their "brand" than the subway They need something like
Broadplay, Dark Place, Primed Square, Grand Central PlayStation, etc.

[fivver]

mm I'm thinking of a Statue of Liberty theme, but the details just won't come.

[Jazzzz]

"the Empire Steak"?

[Just Ducky]

Yonkers Bonkers? Or Yonkers Wonkers?

[mm]

"the Statue at Liberty"?

[Just Ducky]

The Yankee Hanky-Panky?

[Mr. Completely]

For the newly-arrived immigrant types who don't yet have a command of the English language, how about just a picture of a subway train entering a tunnel?

Too Freudian?

Sort of OT: I once found it necessary, a long time ago, to get tested for sexually transmitted cooties, as it were. (I was young and single.) On my way out after receiving the results (I was clean), I was handed a brown paper sack FULL of condoms. When I got home and emptied the bag, I noticed they had EXPIRATION DATES on them. I thought to myself, "A sackful of condoms that'll expire in a year? I don't need that kind of pressure!"

Also sort of OT: Condoms can make cool balloon animals.

[puzzled]

Pogo, good one. Does it make sex safer for gay guys if they use condoms?

[Hanna]

Expiration dates are fun. I worked with a couple who had major fight because he bought a box of condoms that would expire in a month, and she felt it was too much pressure because they were on a tight budget and could not afford to waste things.

[NRA]

Ewwwww, no. I could never ride the subway again, not after where it's been.

[pogo]

puzzled - Yeah. You been livin' under a rock or sumpin?

[Meanie the Blue]

Can't believe I haven't seen "New York Giants" yet.

You'se are slippin'.

[Jazzzz]

Meanie...Doh!

[pogo]

MtB - I thought of that, but is it still general knowledge they were once a NY team?

*fondly remembers the KC As*

[Meanie the Blue]

BTW, I can never stop laughing every time I hear or read "Yonkers", ever since someone told me it sounds like a place that guys fear getting hit.

[puzzled]

No rocks. But, your reaction tells me I should find one...

[random thunking]

puzzled, of condoms make for safer gay sex. They use them up in queens.

[Edgar Greenberg]

Wow I have got to keep my pseudonyms strait.

[Meanie the Blue]

And your homonyms too.

[random thunking]

throws a "course" up there

[Edgar Greenberg]

Oh it's strate is it?

[Stevie W]

They come free in the Homonym Suites in the Poke-oh-nos.

[pogo]

Sorry, puzzled. Rough week here. Must have come out through my fingers.

[From Another World]

Good morning all...

[Edgar Greenberg]

Streit?

[pogo]

Welcome to the Free Association Dimension.

[Danny]

Found this at; http://www.cyberslayer.co.uk/jokes/joke0337.html Cracked me up.
Toyota Condoms: Oh, what a feeling! Who can ask for anything more?
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flinstones Vitamins
Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.
Point and Shoot!
Ford Condoms: The best never rest. Have you Driven a Ford Lately?
Chevy Condoms: Like a Rock.
Jeep-Eagle Condom: There's Only One Jeep (sold in singles only)
The Saturn Condom: A *Different* Kind of Condom
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish
everybody did?
NY Lotto Condoms: 'Cause, hey -- you never know.
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
Energizer Condoms: Keeps going and going ...
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always the Real Thing.
Diet Coke Condom: Just for the taste of it
Lays Condom: Betcha can't have just one.
Bud-Lite Condom: Where's the Love Man!
Honda Motorcycle
Condom: Come Ride With Us
7-UP Condom: The UN-Condom
Iomega Condom: For All Your Stuff
Microsoft Condom: Where do you want to go today? We are universally
compatible.

[casey]

Condoms are entertainment:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/271804/the_condom_plant/

[CJrun]

*snork* @ stevie.

On one side of the wrapper, Lady Liberty. On the obverse:

‘Ay, lonely lads, wanna romp?’ asks she
With slattern’s lips. ‘Gimme your turgid, gal-poor,
Your throbbing manhood yearning to burst free.’
Don’t discard this wretched refuse on our shore.

[Dr. McCoy]

pogo read my mind: I'm waiting for the Scenes From Yankee Stadium series.

[Siouxie]

LOL CJ!

[insomniac]

slogan? "no nude dorks in new york?"

stop spreading the clap
put these on today
you want to wear a condom from
new york , new york
those sagging "fun girls"
you're pronging today
might give a souvenir from
old new york
you don't want to wake up with a pain
each time you pee
to find you're totally ill, on a watch list
from the CDC!

those little blue pills
you're gobbling today
will make you much more vulnerable
in old new york
if you're gonna make it here
we need to instill some fear
use these to hold your goo, new york!

[Siouxie]

casey's linky

[Siouxie]

LMAO casey! that's funny as hell!!

[Jazzzz]

....so that's what they look like?

[CJrun]

*shriek* @ insom!

[Merely Meditrina]

Weird science, if you can call it that.

For a moment, I thought it was going to be a lame duck d!ck.

[Siouxie]

excellent, insom! lol

[casey]

Thank you kindly Siouxie. I owe ya one.

[Just Ducky]

LOL insom & casey! *wipes tears from eyes*

[pogo]

Excellent as usual, Sir Insom.

[casey]

Glad I can make y'all smile a little. Ever have days when you want a mulligan? I actually had to WORK today, can you believe that? Then, backing out of my drivway about an hour ago, I back into my neighbor's car. I'm dieting and consequently, not drinking but dang if I wouldn't sacrifice a squirrel for a glass of wine right now. Wow, looking back over this post, looks like I already had a whole bottle of whine.

[Siouxie]

some cheese with that whine, casey???

[casey]

Cheddar, please.

[wxgurl]

*zips in with wine bottles and glasses for all, sits out the cheese, sits back and finishes laughing at the posts*

[Lairbo]

Nathan's Famous. Sabaret. That is all...

Subway themes would include: "Express," "Local" and "Service Changes due to Necessary Track Work".

[Siouxie]

You all know it's only a matter of time before The Donald comes up with his own condom aptly named The Trump Tower.

[Clean Hands]

Awww, ((((casey)))). I'm really sorry to hear that. My wife's best friend just got a new used car on Tuesday, and totalled it Wednesday. I hate when that happens!

[CJrun]

Just a fun link, for a change of pace. A bit strangely written, as I guess it was just the response half of a telephone interview. On the upside, there's s3x and camel, though not together. A favorite of mine, the amazing Peter O’Toole.

[casey]

Awww, thanks Clean.

[Lairbo]

Sxie: You just know that Trump's brand would be really shiny, block the view from other condoms and have his name all over it. Or maybe that's just his condos. Hmmm.

Also, Danny, "Irish Spring" Strong enough for a man . . .

[Dr. McCoy]

Sxie: You just know that Trump's brand would be really shiny, block the view from other condoms and have his name all over it. Or maybe that's just his condos. Hmmm.

You forgot to mention that it would be gold, Lairbo, but otherwise you hit the nail on the head...or maybe hit the head with... never mind.

[Siouxie]

Very true, Lairbo & Dr. McCoy. Let's just hope it doesn't include a combover.

[Lairbo]

Trump Brand Condoms: The Gold Standard.

God, I hate myself for thinking that up. Especially since the guy who pitches it to him at the meeting will probably get a raise.

[Christobol]

"Why are there ribs and bumps and strings and angry ferrets on this condom?"

"Because this time, we're doing it Myyyyy Wayyyyyy!"

[Christobol]

*Begins countdown until first lawsuit by a person who gets pregnant / STD while using a NYC condom*

[CJrun]

*snork* @ c-bol.

Lairbo, may I suggest:

Trump Brand Condoms: The Gold Standard Scabbard?

[Meanie the Blue]

Brooklyn Baby Dodgers.

[Lairbo]

"If you can use them here
You can use them, anywhere . . ."

[Siouxie]

great one, Meanie! lol

[Christobol]

Some folks like to get away, they're not gettin' laid in the neighborhood
Hop a flight to miami beach or hollywood.
I'm trollin' for hookers on the hudson river line-
I'm in a new york state of mind.

I get off on the movie stars in their fancy cars and their limousines,
Diddled a bear in the rockies under the evergreens,
But I know what I'm needing and I don't want to waste more time-
I'm in a new york state of mind.

It's never easy for me to get laid
Thinking maybe it's the condoms I use,
And I tell ya, sometimes I just tore out a page from
The new york times, the daily news...

It comes down to quality-and now I see that I've let it slide,
I don't care whether it's chinatown or riverside,
I'll be wearin the new condoms, from the front or from behind-
I'm in a new york state of mind.

I'm just trollin' for hookers on the hudson river line-
cause I'm in a new york state of mind.

[Meanie the Blue]

So, Ho....

[Lairbo]

MtB: LOL.

Cbl: Howling snork. Mr. Joel only wishes he'd written it that way.

[CJrun]

More *snorks* @ c-bol, and Meanie as well!

[Siouxie]

wow Cbol...just wow! LOL

As a true Billy Joel fan, I applaud your version!!!

[Christobol]

thanks all - many laughs on this thread.

i'm off to play in traffic.

i trust you'll all be well protected for your evenings, um, activities.

[Annie Where-but-here]

By, C'bol - stay safe!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Ooops, my bad - stay safe!