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January 27, 2007


We welcome you.


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What a Super column, Dave! And FIRST to say it was a pleasure being in the audience at the Paramount Theater last night! *Continues wild applause*

Just Ducky -- Hey, thanks for coming. That was an excellent audience.

well hell, if there's heroin in the crabs i may have actually discovered seafood with legs that i'd like!

will the blog party be at siouxie's, judi's, or ec's?

I am so glad you enjoyed your visit! We had a TERRIFIC time. I waded through the crowd afterward to try to say hello, but the stagehands told me you had already left. *Sniff* Maybe next time you're here--hope you come back soon!

Llol (the extra "l" is for "literally")! Vintage Dave.

Dave, ya still got it.

So Dave, you're (not your) a HUMOR writer? who knew!

Note to self: Never, never, never piss off Dave.

or...who knew???

or p!ss ON Dave...

*Note to self: Start using "Tancredo" in place of %$^&*.

as someone who is so old i remember when super bowls were blacked out in miami (i heard that joe namath was something!), i would just like to say...uhhh... booger!

slogan: miami -third world, but first-rate!

let me just begin by saying that I am not related to, living near, and in fact have never hear of anyone named Rep. Tancredo. I also have never heard of the Pennsylvania Hotel.

That being said, excellent column. Makes me way go go right out and return my purchase tickets to the lovely city of Miami. Unfortnuately, I will be doing my hair that weekend. Perhaps in 2010...

I know everybody on this Blog to be a friend. Please understand that Dave is nutts and I would never use the Miami airport, always Ft. Lauderdale then plan your day. Next week, until Thursday, I need to borrow the crosswind runway in Ft. Lauderdale. Please. I am capturing and moving tortoises until Thursday, please. I am begging you, this is what I need to do. I have to clear the runways by Thursday morning, but I'm chasing a chlorlinated solvent on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Not my choice. Please.

also makes me want to learn to type, and read.

make that want to, and unfortunately, respectively.

CJ- I'm a little slow. Perhaps if you were a little more specific there in step three (tortise/chlorinated solvent)....

CJ, I promise I will get off the runway by Wednesday at the latest.

Hey, CJ, it's hot dungeness crab sandwiches on rye for dinner, want one?

I obviously missed the gumballs being passed out

You & me, Jazzzz; we were too busy singin' on the snake/rats thread.

I know this is technically my blog, but sometimes I have no idea what the hell is going on.

The critters I'm working with are protected and I must find them, talk them into their new home, then be out of the way by Thursday. Please wish me luck.

Dave, just pull up a chair and enjoy. In a confused sorta way.

Like a realtor?

Neither do we Dave. That's why we love it!

It makes more sense when you are drinking..... just sayin'.

That must be the stupidest post, ever. I chopped it. The point is, the Ft. Lauderdale airport, I need on Wednesday. Worst case, I need a bit of Thursday morning as well. Please.

Dave, this is completely off topic sort of.

Miami must be the capital of I spas. I imagine there must must be places that sell baths in Goat blood or other such desirable substances.

CJ, I have no idea what you are talking about. But neither does Dave, so I guess I'm in good company.

CJ, please, please tell me you did not drink the Chlorinated Solvent again.

(Battle Hymn of the Republic)
Miami's girding down and hunkering; it's a week till Super Bowl!
There's tickets still available (you don't really need a soul.)
With lots of lovely women you can wheedle or cajole.
Just bring those tourists on!

Land that's scorned by Tom Tancredo
Land of old guys in a Speedo
Some retired wiseguys name of Vito
Will take those tourits on!

Miami's storied airport can accomodate you all
Though Adam and Eve have been in line since just after the Fall.
Your mortgage will get you coffee, as long as it's a 'small'!
Just bring those tourists on! (chorus)

To those who are Floridians, tourists are hard to take
They complain about the heat, they don't like the well-done steak.
Just think after the Super Bowl, it's days until Spring Break!
Keep bringing tourists on!

Excellent as always, Insom.

CJ - are you capturing tortoises at the Ft. Lauderdale airport, or chlorinating runways? Please be more clear when using subjuncted adjectival participles.

*snork* at insom

Dave, we don't know what CJ's talking about either. Just (please) don't make eye contact with him (please) and you'll be fine (please).

There once was a Rep named Tancredo
Who couldn't tell his @ss from his elbow.
He dissed Miami,
Perhaps jealously,
'Cause he's snowed in and frozen at zero.

Good lord, is this Detroit?

CJ: As long as I get the runway by 10:00 AM sharp on Thusday; I'm translevitating my pythons then.

Cheryl - you take that back right now, or I'll cut you.
(sorry - just getting caught up in the momentito)

CJ - I forgot - I'll need the runway at 9:30. My boas are debarking for Bermuda.

You had your boas debarked? I'm calling ....no I'm not...

*applause for insom; snorks for Annie, Cheryl, and Suzy*

Insom, you're killin' me!!

love you guys.

* holds lighter aloft for insom*

I will try, but I am just a goofy guy. I have been fighting this project for a year. Long before my company made me biology guy, I have been fighting this project.. I have no choice about what will happen next week, but I believe an amazing thing will happen. I will win. And we will open the runway before the Superbowl. We will win! But first, somebody lied about a chlorinated solvent. I think they are liars, and I will go after them when I have time, but they make stuff up! The single thing I tell the people that work with me, is don't make stuff up. Busy week, but I have to collect soil and groundwater samples to keep myself out of court. There is actually a chlorinated solvent bad place, that I think never leaked. Everybody is wrong, at the moment. Having a sounding board like the Blog helps me do this, and thanks. Love yall!

For those who are SOUTH of the Mason/Dixon line:


Oh I wish I was in so grand Miami
Old timers will never ram me
SuperBowl! SuperBowl! SuperBowl! Ain’t it grand!

In Miami we’ll party on in
Clubs until the early mornin’
SuperBowl! SuperBowl! SuperBowl! Ain’t it grand!

Oh I wish I was in Miami
Jose, Jose!
From Disneyland I’ll drive; my hand
Will give the valet my key
To stay, to stay
To stay down in Miami!

CJ - Oh my.

Wyo! Long time no see!

Dumbo, Tancredo-o-o
(Winter come and he frozen in snow)
Duh, he say duh, he say duh, he say duh,
He say duh, he say duh-uh-uh-o.
(He's so dumb that he shoulda stay home.)

Colorado is a where he from,
(He's so dumb that he shoulda stay home.)
Says Miami is a 3rd world slum!
(He's so dumb that he shoulda stay home.)

Come, Mr. Tancredo, tally your IQ points
(Duh, he's dumb and he shoulda stay home)
Come, Mr. Tancredo, tally your IQ points
(Pick his brain with a fine-toothed comb)

It's six point, seven point, eight point, Lunch!
(Duh, he's dumb and he shoulda stay home)
Six point, seven point, eight point, Lunch!
(Picked his brain but it's frozen foam)

Duh! he so du-u-u-u-umb
(Winter come and he frozen in snow)
Dumb, he so dumb, he so dumb, he so dumb,
He so dumb, he so dumb,
Duh, he's dumb and he shoulda stay hooooome!

He did drink the solvents, didn't he? Poor guy.

Cj, at least the solvents weren't BROMINATED, Ha ha, get it.

or fluoridated, which would turn 'em communist!
(snorks at all the tunesmiths!)

OMG, you people are talented. even annie.

ok, especially annie.

loved, "He so dumb and he shoulda stayed home."

gotta go play pool wit da kids, catch you all tomorrow.

Have fun, Wyo! Who usually wins?

so now we've got brominated fluorochlorocarbons??
gosh CJ, we'll have to put a light-meter on you to see if you start glowing. Better wear your haz-mat suit.

Thanks, Wyo.
Actually, mm, CJ has a haz-mat bandana with a foil top. Please.

Sorry about that, bloglits. I just couldn't be more mad, as a scientist.

When all is said and done, I have to swim with sharks and they are real. I just don't have much respect for modern college professors. My major professor [which means the person that pitched my Master's degree to his group], waffled, then said yes. So, apparently. I have a Master's degree in Marine Biology. And a carpet that needs cleaning. Best to all, but I work for a very rough company and there is only one good kid coming up. He wonders over to my office almost once a day; I see the stunned look in his eye. We cleaned up the hole that is the Trade Center, that was us. I study bombs for a living and my father, well he was what he was.I grew up in Laos, where American soldiers weren't allowed to go. An amazing place to be after the Thet offensive in 1968. Best.

and have fun Wyo, check in soon, and *snork* at all of the lyricists..

Annie, I almost had a major *snork* accident when I was attempting to take a sip of wine while reading your post! Please.

standing applause for all the songs!!

why did cj cross the runway?
to get the tortoise to the other side of the chlorinated solvents which might not be there.

yeah, i'm still humor impaired but feeling better.
dave, none of us know what's going on. ever read alice in wonderland? welcome to the tea party!!

Tom Tancredo = tomcat drone

or....rat condom et



crossgirl, so glad you're feeling better!

*ronks* @ Jazzzz!

*snork* @ Ducky's "ronks"
et Jazzzz's rat condom

thanks ducky.

I'm so confused.....

but that could be due to the fabulous wine and AMAZING tenderloin I just filled up on...


CJ, still seriously confused. But brominated solvents WBAGNFA stupid chemistry related band, like the guys who invented the gringard reagent song.

*still in a musical frame of mind*

Ode To Miami Beach Parking Attendant
(Think Nancy Sinatra)

You keep saying you got parking for me
A space right in front, but confess
You been filling spots you shouldn’t be filling
And now someone’s Escalade sits in your best

Well this coupe is made for parking
And that’s just what I’ll do
Juan, on this day
This coupe is gonna park right over you.

Great column, Dave!

CJrun, the more I read what you said on this thread, the less I understand it :) Which is probably a good thing.

OT - no wait, there seems to be a lack of topic.

Does anyone know anything about contract publishing?

Ducky!!.....That was mahwalus

*snork* at all yall.

Honest truth, my father was from Texas, but a ridiculously good father, so nobody asked.

When I was in college, I just tried to hide that my name was Johnson. When I joined the Marine Fisheries Service, I met the part of my family that lives in Seattle and Bremerton. Apparently, that was the thing my Dad was trying to keep me away from. As best I understand it Uncle Ray, my father's older brother, came to Seattle in the 40s, captured my father, and took him back to Texas. After the first time Ray walked, all the way out of Europe, from a POW camp. Ray walked out of Europe, twice, on his feet. He was [he passed away, 2-years ago], one of those people.
There is nothing I could ever do that would be beyond Roy, or Ray.

Ray walked all the way out of German prison camps, twice, to the Atlantic, used to look over at me and say "Buy them books and learn them nothing."

Well, that's what Uncle Ray said, and that's the truth. It's the best I can do not to embarrass these people. I am such a pussy. Fortunately, you are what you eat.

Dave, great column! They keep talking about building a "comet" from Orlando to Disney. If our experience is anything like Miami's, it will probably end up over at the Cape.

*sending up fireworks for all the talented bloglits*

Why, thahnk yew, Mistah Jazzzz!

There are some seriously talented lyricists here! Also, some mad scientists (CJ, I fall in that category). I went into weather because I can't write, can't sing, but can chase a good tornado (or a bad one as the case may be!)

*Mixes margaritas for all the great songs!*

Cjun, normally I wouldn't recommend this to my worst enemy, but desperate time call for desperate measures. You ever think of taking a Break?


CJ, I am a speed reader. To summarize. "When I was in college, my name was Johnson."


Cheryl, I am not going to touch that one with a ten foot blog pole!

*tries to decide if CJ's reference to his father insulted Texans*


*retreats back to Couch of Confusion*

One word Ducky, dienophile.

LOL, CJ. You are what you eat huh? Would that make me a...no. Just no. Just so you know, Mr. m hated his thesis advisor, too. Must be a class phenomenon(with thesis advisors, not us.) The most felicitous of vibrations are emanating your way for the beginning of next week, Fuc% the Superbowl. *loud gasp is heard*
Well OK, felicitations to the superbowl, too, after CJ finishes. ahem.

*watches Edgar's reference sail far over her head*

I dien understand, Edgar. Are we talking molecules, here?

mm - Apparently, none of us are big Bowl fans, as the topic died harshly within the first few posts.

Great column, Dave! I was LingOL!

When is Atlanta on your strumpeting/Remainders/(insert random verb here) list? The Pontiac RBR concert was one of the most fun things I have ever been deafened by!

This thread is mental. Too mental.

Well as a matter of speaking a dienophile is a kind of molecule, but I was using the term metaphorically, as a sort of cryptic imprint of life, liberty, and the pursuit of the esoteric.

Wow that was ridiculously dense and meaningless. I should be an art critic.

I know this is technically my blog, but sometimes I have no idea what the hell is going on.

I was just trying to think of a metaphor that would get through. Se dienophiles attack dienes and form six membered rings.

Whoa *head spinning*, way too much thinking here tonight!

I have to leave for yet another 5 hour drive to Kansas City in about 1 hour....wish me luck staying awake!

No Annie your blog is clear. But give me a second.

The best thing about the Super Bowl is that Spring Training starts the next week.

Edgat, I'm going back and taking a look. I really liked the look of your site.

Meanwhile, I am a permanent basket case, since I hit Bremerton back in the 80s when I was a kid. My cousin there is in a wheelchair. My father was 24. His older brother was 28 and brought a B-29 to pick him up and they flew back to Texas. They dropped the bomber to the deck, according to the cousins I have out there and threw whiskey bottles at rabbits. Back during WWII, Korea, and Vietnam, what somebody was allowed to say was different.

Uncle Ray picked Dad up in Bremerton, in a B-29, they flew across the country, tossed bottles of Jack out the windows, and agreed to disagree.

wxgirl - Be safe. I am sure YOU know this, but the wind is howling!

CJ has been spending way too much time hanging out at Superfund sites.

Just talked to hubby in KC, and he mentioned the wind was crazy! It was 65F here in Oklahoma yesterday, and yet I woke up to snow this AM! Thanks for the update Med...I'll call if I get done with the house fixin'....I'm thinking good coffee!

wxgirl - Just be safe. I35 is a long, dull, mind numbing drive under the best conditions. Bring the espresso laced donuts.

Mary Poppins could be here in an hour with these winds.

Punkin... Beef?

Wow, wxgurl. I thought northers were only myths and legends.


What a roaller coaster ride. First I read Ridley's column and cried.

Then I read Dave's column and cried. From laughter.


Several years ago, I was on a flight to Miami that had a layover in ---- wait for it ---- Ft. Lauderdale. Then we had an 8.5 minute flight to Miami. I think we may have actually reached an altitude of 60 feet en route to Miami.

Awww...I am beginning to hate I-35...only people on it this time of night will be truckers and drug traffickers (can't spell...this is why I am a scientist..)

Northers? If you mean crazy weather extremes, the midwest is the place! I used to think the weather was strange in KC, but Oklahoma takes the cake...For all you trivia lovers: Nov 11, 1911, both the record high and record low were set in Norman OK.

Hey if I call two more times, I can be the hundredth caller.

Miami sounds just like Johannesburg with an ocean, oh! and hot babes.

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