24
OK, here we go. Having received advance information about one of tonight's killings tactical field maneuvers by Jack Bauer, this blog strongly recommends that you have a barf bag handy, if not a small wading pool.
Meanwhile, the Chargers-Patriots game, because of poor planning by the so-called "National Football League," is still going on. We will attempt to monitor that also, through eyeholes poked in our barf bag.
UPDATE: If we had any discretion, we would not be viewing.
UPDATE: He grabbed Chloe's butt!
UPDATE: He's gonna blow up the bus with an iPod!
UPDATE: I'm glad to see they did not get rid of the Wooden Dialogue Generator.
UPDATE: Not Los Angeles! What are the odds?
UPDATE: Ha ha! They said "Assad."
UPDATE: Good to see CTU personnel have time for banter during mass terrorist attacks.
UPDATE: Jack looks like a Wookie. ChewJacca!
UPDATE: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not Audrey
UPDATE: Chargers-Pats in OT
UPDATE: Catfight! Nadia left the Jarvis firewall unsecured. That bitch.
UPDATE: Chloe looks like somebody cut the cheese. But this normal.
UPDATE: Once again the United States government has no control whatsoever over the United States.
UPDATE: It was a lot eassier for President Payton when he was playing guard for the World Champion Miami Heat.
UPDATE: "See you, Jack! Don't be a stranger!"
UPDATE: Pats won.
UPDATE: Kumar!
UPDATE: Kumar was going to use Chair Fu on that guy.
UPDATE: Morris knows a little private satellite.
UPDATE: I have a feeling this guy is not taking Jack to Sea World.
UPDATE: The bald guy needs a better accent.
UPDATE: "I'd rather not, sir." We love Chloe.
UPDATE: Just six guys against Jack? How stupid are these terrorists?
UPDATE: Yuck.
UPDATE: Don't you hate it when you're about to cut off somebody's finger and the phone rings?
UPDATE: JACULA!!
UPDATE: I can't believe Kumar will be any good at terrorism.
UPDATE: Beer time!
UPDATE: I am so grateful that the terrorists speak English to each other.
UPDATE: Jack! It's Bill! How's it going, man?
UPDATE: Jack has only been totally 100 percent right every single time in all of the previous five seasons; why on earth should we believe him now?
UPDATE: Handy phone Jack found, huh?
UPDATE: Is that a transponder in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
UPDATE: I'm sure that's covered by the homeowner insurance.
UPDATE: UH-oh... Subplot Alert...
UPDATE: PERIMETER!!!!!!!!!!
UPDATE: "Does this suicide vest make me look fat?"
UPDATE: OK, what happened to Jack's 287 blood-oozing wounds? He must have found a styptic pencil the size of a baseball bat.
UPDATE: Jack has gone Manilow! Assad will show him.
UPDATE: "You'll remember. You have a multi-year contract."
UPDATE: Big deal. My computer erases files all by itself.
UPDATE: Don't mess with Kumar, OK?
UPDATE: "It's not A-med... It's KUMAR!"
UPDATE: There's a conductor on the subway? Is that an LA thing?
UPDATE: Next time, those people will take taxis.
UPDATE: Huh! Jack was right again. What are the odds?
UPDATE: Tomorrow night: "Oh my God."
Good work, everyone. Get some rest. Except for Steve.
Yay! First!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 14, 2007 at 07:59 PM
second
Posted by: Siouxie | January 14, 2007 at 07:59 PM
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JOHN SHMAUR TOWER FLOWER!JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !
Brought to you by JackSack™ (supporting tropichunt.com guy™ in all the right places) and ChloeSack™ (supporting Chloe in her right places...)
Bring it on, Evil Dr. Bashir!
LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 14, 2007 at 08:00 PM
NO! Don't start the show yet! Dinner isn't ready!
Posted by: Wes S. | January 14, 2007 at 08:00 PM
24 countdown checklist:
Wine: Check. Also margaritas.
Dinner: Check. A little pasta, a little salad. All good.
Extra-absorbent undies: Check.
Loins: Girded and check.
Blogpals: Check.
Viewer discretion!!!!!
Bring it ONNNNN!
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 14, 2007 at 08:00 PM
EEEEEK... TEXAS!
Posted by: Rosebud | January 14, 2007 at 08:00 PM
24 countdown checklist:
Wine: Check. Also margaritas.
Dinner: Check. A little pasta, a little salad. All good.
Extra-absorbent undies: Check.
Loins: Girded and check.
Blogpals: Check.
Viewer discretion!!!!!
Bring it ONNNNN!
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 14, 2007 at 08:01 PM
I am oh so back! Jack! I miss you, man!
Posted by: Glow | January 14, 2007 at 08:01 PM
f%%***ng robot!
Thanks, THCguy! *swoons*
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 14, 2007 at 08:02 PM
Wow, that was a pretty evil viewer discretion warning! Eeeek!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 14, 2007 at 08:02 PM
*puts out a round of margaritas, fried Calabash oysters, turns volume up on Fox*
Posted by: CJrun | January 14, 2007 at 08:02 PM
kaboom
Posted by: Siouxie | January 14, 2007 at 08:02 PM
OOooo startin off wiff a bang. I like this season.
How long till a thighshootin?
Posted by: wolfie | January 14, 2007 at 08:02 PM
I'm confused. Is this 24 or Speed?
Posted by: Ann | January 14, 2007 at 08:02 PM
Oh my God!! The carnage has started!
Posted by: Rosebud | January 14, 2007 at 08:02 PM
REd wire to the blue wire, no, no red wire..KABLUEY!!!
Posted by: Jazzzz | January 14, 2007 at 08:02 PM
America under siege: Where Is Jack?
Posted by: Glow | January 14, 2007 at 08:03 PM
weenie # 1 already
Posted by: thylus | January 14, 2007 at 08:03 PM
I'm confused. Is this 24 or Speed?
Posted by: Ann | January 14, 2007 at 08:03 PM
It's not Speed anymore.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 14, 2007 at 08:03 PM
Why wouldn't they let the Mexican guy on the bus...oh wait ... I get it
Posted by: Philintexas | January 14, 2007 at 08:03 PM
Security hassa price... 24.99 plus shipping?
Posted by: wolfie | January 14, 2007 at 08:03 PM
That guy's nickname was "The Biscuit" on Ally McBeal. Hard to take him seriously.
Posted by: Rosebud | January 14, 2007 at 08:03 PM
HEY Ally McBeal Weenie!
Posted by: Siouxie | January 14, 2007 at 08:03 PM
I bet Weenie uses math.
Posted by: Crash | January 14, 2007 at 08:04 PM
Alterna-President Palmer looks all serious-like. Heh.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 14, 2007 at 08:04 PM
history lessen ....oh boy
Posted by: Jazzzz | January 14, 2007 at 08:04 PM
Someone is passing notes in class.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 14, 2007 at 08:04 PM
HEY Ally McBeal Weenie!
Posted by: Siouxie | January 14, 2007 at 08:04 PM
Great, just when I need it most, my browser's glitching
Posted by: Ann | January 14, 2007 at 08:04 PM
President: "But WWDBD?"
WWDBD: What would my dead brother do
Posted by: Glow | January 14, 2007 at 08:04 PM
Evil Dr. Bashir's first appearance! In a newspaper! How lame!
But it featured a good column by Dave underneath.
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 14, 2007 at 08:05 PM
Fervently. Good word.
Posted by: Rosebud | January 14, 2007 at 08:05 PM
whoaaaaa... take one of those posts OUT!
Posted by: Siouxie | January 14, 2007 at 08:05 PM
Is that Chloe's exhubby?
Posted by: slyeyes | January 14, 2007 at 08:06 PM
Morris is just about as snarky as Chloe, isn't he?
Posted by: Wes S. | January 14, 2007 at 08:06 PM
ChloeHot!
Posted by: Glow | January 14, 2007 at 08:06 PM
Hey, that guy died in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake.
Think terrorists will put him on a meathook here?
Posted by: Crash | January 14, 2007 at 08:06 PM
WOAH Chloe has a boyfriend? I thought that was her ex husband. ??? Ah well, at least she's out of last season's sweater.
Posted by: Eponder | January 14, 2007 at 08:06 PM
tazer him!!
get away from my hottie chloe
*growls*
Posted by: wolfie | January 14, 2007 at 08:07 PM
And CHLOE "learned to fit in?" Ohnoes!
Posted by: Wes S. | January 14, 2007 at 08:07 PM
Chloe seems to be well adjusted. Wow. A lot has happened in 2.5 years.
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 14, 2007 at 08:07 PM
good thing she doesn't have her taser
Posted by: Philintexas | January 14, 2007 at 08:07 PM
This anti-robot thingie is getting annoying. Chloe hasn't given a good frown yet. Just a slightly annoyed one.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 14, 2007 at 08:07 PM
YAY. JACK IS BACK.
Posted by: JBismyhomeboy | January 14, 2007 at 08:07 PM
It is her ex-hubby. Guess she's recycling.
Posted by: Ann | January 14, 2007 at 08:07 PM
JACK is alive!! Oh thank God! Chloe is pissed he didn't call her first.
Posted by: Rosebud | January 14, 2007 at 08:08 PM
Chloe is sooo going to taser Baldie!
Posted by: jon | January 14, 2007 at 08:08 PM
get back Jack, and do it again
Posted by: Jazzzz | January 14, 2007 at 08:08 PM
I'm about to taser the blog bot!!!
zzzzzzzaaaaaaappppppp
Posted by: Siouxie | January 14, 2007 at 08:08 PM
This is it!! Jack's back!
Posted by: slyeyes | January 14, 2007 at 08:08 PM
SOB! Jaaaaaaaaacccck! We are here for you Jack! Only a year and a half late!
Posted by: Glow | January 14, 2007 at 08:08 PM
Is this the big Jack reveal? Hoodies at the ready!
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | January 14, 2007 at 08:09 PM
I think the thing is that Jack brings out the worst in Chloe...I bet she goes downhill this entire season...
Look, it's Guantanamo Jack!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 14, 2007 at 08:09 PM
Good dramatic music this year! (Jack looks like crap)
Posted by: Rosebud | January 14, 2007 at 08:09 PM
woooooooo hoooooooo!
Posted by: Siouxie | January 14, 2007 at 08:09 PM
Robinson Crusoe!
Posted by: Glow | January 14, 2007 at 08:10 PM
Robinson Crusoe!
Posted by: Glow | January 14, 2007 at 08:10 PM
Ooh, that chinese guy is marked for death.
MARKED.
Posted by: Crash | January 14, 2007 at 08:10 PM
Obviously the Gillette Fusion razor hasn't gotten to China yet.
Posted by: largebill | January 14, 2007 at 08:10 PM
Jack says: Can I have a hug?
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | January 14, 2007 at 08:10 PM
No speaking? He's gonna have a lot to whisper then repeat in shout...
Posted by: Ann | January 14, 2007 at 08:10 PM
Crash! YaY!
chinese guy is sooooo gettin it in the thigh.
Posted by: wolfie | January 14, 2007 at 08:10 PM
Oooooh! Chinese guy is toast by the end of this day!
BTW, Dave/judi, the blog spam checker is in high gear tonight...it's stopping everything I say for verification. Oh, wait, that makes sense...
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 14, 2007 at 08:10 PM
Maybe Jack will continue to keep his mouth shut!
Posted by: jon | January 14, 2007 at 08:11 PM
This would make Audrey cry.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 14, 2007 at 08:11 PM
NOW then need him...bastids!!
Posted by: Siouxie | January 14, 2007 at 08:11 PM
I'm not sure Jack is feeling like saving the world right this minute.
Posted by: Rosebud | January 14, 2007 at 08:11 PM
*snork* @ ChewJacca
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | January 14, 2007 at 08:11 PM
Poop! I was in the wrong room. Hello all. Green apple martinis tonight. Any I almost tripped up my husband by dragging my laptop and all its wires across the living room.
Posted by: Gretchen | January 14, 2007 at 08:11 PM
oh geez. i hope this means we won't see audrey
Posted by: JBismyhomeboy | January 14, 2007 at 08:11 PM
He hadn't spoken in 2 years! Tongue is tuck to his roof. It's okay, Jack. We just need to start killing, that's all. No need to say a word.
Posted by: Glow | January 14, 2007 at 08:11 PM
"Guantanamo Jack?" Jack would have had more fun at Club Gitmo...
Posted by: Wes S. | January 14, 2007 at 08:12 PM
Don't feel so special, Andy...it's stopping every friggin' thing I say too.
Posted by: Siouxie | January 14, 2007 at 08:12 PM
The blog software and spambot are my sworn enemies this evening! I shoot them in their thighs!
Jack sure looks like crap with that fake beard.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 14, 2007 at 08:12 PM
Shall we start a pool as to when Jack first talks?
First words?
When he says "perimeter"?
Posted by: slyeyes | January 14, 2007 at 08:12 PM
Pound of flesh? I hear Jack's gonna get that for him.
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | January 14, 2007 at 08:12 PM
Screw Audrey.
Posted by: Crash | January 14, 2007 at 08:12 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Posted by: Ann | January 14, 2007 at 08:12 PM
Okay, Silent Jack is starting to creep me out.
Posted by: Rosebud | January 14, 2007 at 08:12 PM
He's been on for a minute and a half and they want him to sacrifice himself? Bastards!
Posted by: Gretchen | January 14, 2007 at 08:12 PM
...And the first word Jack speaks in two years is "AUDREY?!"
Gag.
Posted by: Wes S. | January 14, 2007 at 08:13 PM
Aaaaaaack!!!! Awwwwwdry!!!
Posted by: Betsy | January 14, 2007 at 08:13 PM
Field goal
AssadNE!Posted by: CJrun | January 14, 2007 at 08:13 PM
Ummm...before I do anything, can I have a shave first?
Posted by: Glow | January 14, 2007 at 08:13 PM
poor dude. shit end of the stick.
Posted by: JBismyhomeboy | January 14, 2007 at 08:13 PM
ewwwwwwwww his first word is AUDREY?!?!?!
Posted by: Eponder | January 14, 2007 at 08:13 PM
Awdrey? That's all he can say? He must be REALLY horny to want her!
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 14, 2007 at 08:13 PM
Ditto what Wes said.
*shoots robot in the thigh*
Posted by: wolfie | January 14, 2007 at 08:14 PM
I echo that comment Wes S. GAG ME!
Posted by: Rosebud | January 14, 2007 at 08:14 PM
...With all that scar tissue... Was that Kiefer Sutherland or Jim Caviezel that came back from a Chinese gulag?
Posted by: Wes S. | January 14, 2007 at 08:14 PM
Well Suzy, at this point he'd go for Edgar...been a while!
Posted by: Siouxie | January 14, 2007 at 08:14 PM
Hey, Gretchen! Welcome to Jack/Chloe heaven and spambot hell.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 14, 2007 at 08:15 PM
Wait till he sees Hot!Chloe! You know he'd forget Awdrey immediatement!
Posted by: Glow | January 14, 2007 at 08:16 PM
*Awaits cameo by Amazing Steve*
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | January 14, 2007 at 08:16 PM
You guys started another thread without me!
Posted by: Kathybear | January 14, 2007 at 08:16 PM
Creept silent jack and edgar goin places they shouldnt... ewwwww
*grabs bleach to erase mental image*
thanks siouxie... now im scared to go to sleep.
Posted by: wolfie | January 14, 2007 at 08:16 PM
In mighty good shape for 2.5 years in prison. Must have been one of them there country club prisons.
Posted by: FleaBailey | January 14, 2007 at 08:16 PM
Wonder if he knows that while he was gone, Audrey went to another show that already tanked.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 14, 2007 at 08:16 PM
Hi Suz! It's been soooo long! It's so good to be back here. And here we go again!
Posted by: Gretchen | January 14, 2007 at 08:17 PM