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January 14, 2007


OK, here we go. Having received advance information about one of tonight's killings tactical field maneuvers by Jack Bauer, this blog strongly recommends that you have a barf bag handy, if not a small wading pool.

Meanwhile, the Chargers-Patriots game, because of poor planning by the so-called "National Football League," is still going on. We will attempt to monitor that also, through eyeholes poked in our barf bag.

UPDATE: If we had any discretion, we would not be viewing.

UPDATE: He grabbed Chloe's butt!

UPDATE: He's gonna blow up the bus with an iPod!

UPDATE: I'm glad to see they did not get rid of the Wooden Dialogue Generator.

UPDATE: Not Los Angeles! What are the odds?

UPDATE: Ha ha! They said "Assad."

UPDATE: Good to see CTU personnel have time for banter during mass terrorist attacks.

UPDATE: Jack looks like a Wookie. ChewJacca!


UPDATE: Chargers-Pats in OT

UPDATE: Catfight! Nadia left the Jarvis firewall unsecured. That bitch.

UPDATE: Chloe looks like somebody cut the cheese. But this normal.

UPDATE: Once again the United States government has no control whatsoever over the United States.

UPDATE: It was a lot eassier for President Payton when he was playing guard for the World Champion Miami Heat.

UPDATE: "See you, Jack! Don't be a stranger!"

UPDATE: Pats won.

UPDATE: Kumar!

UPDATE: Kumar was going to use Chair Fu on that guy.

UPDATE: Morris knows a little private satellite.

UPDATE: I have a feeling this guy is not taking Jack to Sea World.

UPDATE: The bald guy needs a better accent.

UPDATE: "I'd rather not, sir." We love Chloe.

UPDATE: Just six guys against Jack? How stupid are these terrorists?


UPDATE: Don't you hate it when you're about to cut off somebody's finger and the phone rings?


UPDATE: I can't believe Kumar will be any good at terrorism.

UPDATE: Beer time!

UPDATE: I am so grateful that the terrorists speak English to each other.

UPDATE: Jack! It's Bill! How's it going, man?

UPDATE: Jack has only been totally 100 percent right every single time in all of the previous five seasons; why on earth should we believe him now?

UPDATE: Handy phone Jack found, huh?

UPDATE: Is that a transponder in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

UPDATE: I'm sure that's covered by the homeowner insurance.

UPDATE: UH-oh... Subplot Alert...


UPDATE: "Does this suicide vest make me look fat?"

UPDATE: OK, what happened to Jack's 287 blood-oozing wounds? He must have found a styptic pencil the size of a baseball bat.

UPDATE: Jack has gone Manilow! Assad will show him.

UPDATE: "You'll remember. You have a multi-year contract."

UPDATE: Big deal. My computer erases files all by itself.

UPDATE: Don't mess with Kumar, OK?

UPDATE: "It's not A-med... It's KUMAR!"

UPDATE: There's a conductor on the subway? Is that an LA thing?

UPDATE: Next time, those people will take taxis.

UPDATE: Huh! Jack was right again. What are the odds?

UPDATE: Tomorrow night: "Oh my God."

Good work, everyone. Get some rest. Except for Steve.


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Yay! First!



J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by JackSack™ (supporting tropichunt.com guy™ in all the right places) and ChloeSack™ (supporting Chloe in her right places...)

Bring it on, Evil Dr. Bashir!


NO! Don't start the show yet! Dinner isn't ready!

24 countdown checklist:

Wine: Check. Also margaritas.

Dinner: Check. A little pasta, a little salad. All good.

Extra-absorbent undies: Check.

Loins: Girded and check.

Blogpals: Check.

Viewer discretion!!!!!

Bring it ONNNNN!


24 countdown checklist:

Wine: Check. Also margaritas.

Dinner: Check. A little pasta, a little salad. All good.

Extra-absorbent undies: Check.

Loins: Girded and check.

Blogpals: Check.

Viewer discretion!!!!!

Bring it ONNNNN!

I am oh so back! Jack! I miss you, man!

f%%***ng robot!

Thanks, THCguy! *swoons*

Wow, that was a pretty evil viewer discretion warning! Eeeek!

*puts out a round of margaritas, fried Calabash oysters, turns volume up on Fox*


OOooo startin off wiff a bang. I like this season.
How long till a thighshootin?

I'm confused. Is this 24 or Speed?

Oh my God!! The carnage has started!

REd wire to the blue wire, no, no red wire..KABLUEY!!!

America under siege: Where Is Jack?

weenie # 1 already

I'm confused. Is this 24 or Speed?

It's not Speed anymore.

Why wouldn't they let the Mexican guy on the bus...oh wait ... I get it

Security hassa price... 24.99 plus shipping?

That guy's nickname was "The Biscuit" on Ally McBeal. Hard to take him seriously.

HEY Ally McBeal Weenie!

I bet Weenie uses math.

Alterna-President Palmer looks all serious-like. Heh.

history lessen ....oh boy

Someone is passing notes in class.

HEY Ally McBeal Weenie!

Great, just when I need it most, my browser's glitching

President: "But WWDBD?"

WWDBD: What would my dead brother do

Evil Dr. Bashir's first appearance! In a newspaper! How lame!

But it featured a good column by Dave underneath.

Fervently. Good word.

whoaaaaa... take one of those posts OUT!

Is that Chloe's exhubby?

Morris is just about as snarky as Chloe, isn't he?


Hey, that guy died in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake.
Think terrorists will put him on a meathook here?

WOAH Chloe has a boyfriend? I thought that was her ex husband. ??? Ah well, at least she's out of last season's sweater.

tazer him!!
get away from my hottie chloe

And CHLOE "learned to fit in?" Ohnoes!

Chloe seems to be well adjusted. Wow. A lot has happened in 2.5 years.

good thing she doesn't have her taser

This anti-robot thingie is getting annoying. Chloe hasn't given a good frown yet. Just a slightly annoyed one.


It is her ex-hubby. Guess she's recycling.

JACK is alive!! Oh thank God! Chloe is pissed he didn't call her first.

Chloe is sooo going to taser Baldie!

get back Jack, and do it again

I'm about to taser the blog bot!!!


This is it!! Jack's back!

SOB! Jaaaaaaaaacccck! We are here for you Jack! Only a year and a half late!

Is this the big Jack reveal? Hoodies at the ready!

I think the thing is that Jack brings out the worst in Chloe...I bet she goes downhill this entire season...

Look, it's Guantanamo Jack!

Good dramatic music this year! (Jack looks like crap)

woooooooo hoooooooo!

Robinson Crusoe!

Robinson Crusoe!

Ooh, that chinese guy is marked for death.


Obviously the Gillette Fusion razor hasn't gotten to China yet.

Jack says: Can I have a hug?

No speaking? He's gonna have a lot to whisper then repeat in shout...

Crash! YaY!

chinese guy is sooooo gettin it in the thigh.

Oooooh! Chinese guy is toast by the end of this day!

BTW, Dave/judi, the blog spam checker is in high gear tonight...it's stopping everything I say for verification. Oh, wait, that makes sense...

Maybe Jack will continue to keep his mouth shut!

This would make Audrey cry.

NOW then need him...bastids!!

I'm not sure Jack is feeling like saving the world right this minute.

*snork* @ ChewJacca

Poop! I was in the wrong room. Hello all. Green apple martinis tonight. Any I almost tripped up my husband by dragging my laptop and all its wires across the living room.

oh geez. i hope this means we won't see audrey

He hadn't spoken in 2 years! Tongue is tuck to his roof. It's okay, Jack. We just need to start killing, that's all. No need to say a word.

"Guantanamo Jack?" Jack would have had more fun at Club Gitmo...

Don't feel so special, Andy...it's stopping every friggin' thing I say too.

The blog software and spambot are my sworn enemies this evening! I shoot them in their thighs!

Jack sure looks like crap with that fake beard.

Shall we start a pool as to when Jack first talks?

First words?

When he says "perimeter"?

Pound of flesh? I hear Jack's gonna get that for him.

Screw Audrey.


Okay, Silent Jack is starting to creep me out.

He's been on for a minute and a half and they want him to sacrifice himself? Bastards!

...And the first word Jack speaks in two years is "AUDREY?!"


Aaaaaaack!!!! Awwwwwdry!!!

Field goal Assad NE!

Ummm...before I do anything, can I have a shave first?

poor dude. shit end of the stick.

ewwwwwwwww his first word is AUDREY?!?!?!

Awdrey? That's all he can say? He must be REALLY horny to want her!

Ditto what Wes said.
*shoots robot in the thigh*

I echo that comment Wes S. GAG ME!

...With all that scar tissue... Was that Kiefer Sutherland or Jim Caviezel that came back from a Chinese gulag?

Well Suzy, at this point he'd go for Edgar...been a while!

Hey, Gretchen! Welcome to Jack/Chloe heaven and spambot hell.

Wait till he sees Hot!Chloe! You know he'd forget Awdrey immediatement!

*Awaits cameo by Amazing Steve*

You guys started another thread without me!

Creept silent jack and edgar goin places they shouldnt... ewwwww

*grabs bleach to erase mental image*

thanks siouxie... now im scared to go to sleep.

In mighty good shape for 2.5 years in prison. Must have been one of them there country club prisons.

Wonder if he knows that while he was gone, Audrey went to another show that already tanked.

Hi Suz! It's been soooo long! It's so good to be back here. And here we go again!

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