WHILE WE WAIT FOR CORNCAM SEASON
(Thanks to annette gaudreau)
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(Thanks to annette gaudreau)
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First string cheese?
Posted by: Stevie W | December 29, 2006 at 11:33 AM
Technology is a blessing for us all!
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 29, 2006 at 11:34 AM
It's 10 pm. Do you know where your cheese is?
Posted by: Stevie W | December 29, 2006 at 11:36 AM
"Cheese the Boss" with Tony Danza and that woman with a Z in her name.
Posted by: Stevie W | December 29, 2006 at 11:37 AM
Maybe they'll burn the cheese...
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 29, 2006 at 11:38 AM
How many disappointed browsers have mistyped "porn cam"?
Posted by: Christobol | December 29, 2006 at 11:39 AM
Judith Light
Cheese?Posted by: Siouxie | December 29, 2006 at 11:39 AM
better than cutting it, Hammie...no?
Posted by: Siouxie | December 29, 2006 at 11:40 AM
"You realize you're masturbating to corn, right?"
"Yeah. That is one fertile crop right there."
Posted by: Christobol | December 29, 2006 at 11:41 AM
Just for the record:
Thanks to Siouxie for pulling Judi out of the strip club! Otherwise we would not be able to view the wonderful corn and cheese!
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 29, 2006 at 11:41 AM
LOL Cbol
Posted by: Siouxie | December 29, 2006 at 11:42 AM
Judith Light . That's it. Like I said.
C-bol - ha ha ha corn porn, corn pone, cheesecake, etc etc etc.
Posted by: Stevie W | December 29, 2006 at 11:43 AM
True, Siouxie. Cheese cutting is an artform best practiced by professionals.
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 29, 2006 at 11:43 AM
nope, after great deliberation, i've decided i'd rather watch paint dry. or hair grow.
Posted by: wickedwitch | December 29, 2006 at 11:50 AM
"Honey, turn off the computer and come to bed, why don't you?"
"In a minute. You know, I really think the Hayseeds are using G9176 Fertilizer Management on their no-till corn crop this season...I really do."
"And you ask me why I save the cobs. Whatever, take your time."
Posted by: Christobol | December 29, 2006 at 11:54 AM
WW. Here you go:
http://www.watching-paint-dry.com
http://www.mightymouse.net/album/watchsidshairgrow/
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 29, 2006 at 11:55 AM
Cheddar? I hardly know her!!
/hubba hubba
Posted by: Otis Wildflower | December 29, 2006 at 11:56 AM
Gouda one, Otis.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | December 29, 2006 at 11:58 AM
cobs...um...a little rough
Posted by: Siouxie | December 29, 2006 at 11:59 AM
thanks hammie, since i have no social life, i've now found my new hobby. you are such a life saver.
Posted by: wickedwitch | December 29, 2006 at 12:04 PM
Oh good. Now I have a plan for New Years Eve.
Posted by: slyeyes | December 29, 2006 at 12:09 PM
"No problem, Ma'am."
*Tips hat and rides off into sunset*
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 29, 2006 at 12:09 PM
Hammie, truly fascinating sites.
*will bookmark those to watch along with the boken*
Posted by: Siouxie | December 29, 2006 at 12:11 PM
um...sunset's the other way, Cowboy Ham...
Posted by: Siouxie | December 29, 2006 at 12:13 PM
Oh, uh, sorry...
*Need to get a horse with GPS*
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 29, 2006 at 12:15 PM
"And you say the miracle occurred right around 3:56am?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Please describe it."
"Well, I was watching the mold form there on cheddervision, and suddenly it took the shape of what I imagine a mole on the Virgin Mary's right elbow might have looked like, if she'd had one. A mole that is. I'm sure she had a right elbow. Anyway, then it changed back into just an irregular shape."
"Amazing."
"Yep. And to think I could have missed it if my husband had had his way. He wanted to watch the stupid corncam!"
Posted by: Christobol | December 29, 2006 at 12:15 PM
By the way, I really want to compliment the bot for efficiently verifying my humanity EVERY FREAKING TIME I POST!
That is all.
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 29, 2006 at 12:17 PM
IMO, cheese worth watching.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | December 29, 2006 at 12:18 PM
the bot is aware of all of your nefarious activities hammie, that's why it singles you out. it never bothers me.
Posted by: wickedwitch | December 29, 2006 at 12:19 PM
Hamm, swettie, the bot checks all links. You're Hammond Rye, which is very close to sausage links.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | December 29, 2006 at 12:20 PM
whoa - 'sweetie', not 'swettie.' I don't know you THAT well!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | December 29, 2006 at 12:21 PM
I wonder when someone will set up a live cam of a pot of boiing water. My grandmother used to say a watched pot never boiled but I've never thought to put it to scienific research.
Posted by: Cheryl Howard | December 29, 2006 at 12:23 PM
Hammie, I was FINE this morning till I posted one too close to the other...and BINGO! EVERY FRIKIN TIME HERE TOO!
*wonders if we could get the bot interested in cheese..or paint...or hair*
Posted by: Siouxie | December 29, 2006 at 12:23 PM
*Takes deep breath. Mops swett off of forehead.*
Thanks, I feel better now.
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 29, 2006 at 12:24 PM
"Jake, I just don't know if I'm ready to do that..."
"Awwww, come on Lurlene! Everybody's doing it."
"What if someone saw us?"
"Who's going to see us? We're in the middle of a frikken corn field, for crying out loud!"
"Well...okay."
*two hours later*
"Lurlene! Glad you're finally home! Get in the truck, we gotta go down to the hospital."
"Why?"
"Grandpa passed out! Apparently he was watching his corncam, the way he likes to spend his evenings these days..."
Posted by: Christobol | December 29, 2006 at 12:32 PM
LOL @ Christobol!!
You're on a roll this morning. :)
Posted by: Zoodle | December 29, 2006 at 12:42 PM
C'bol - that's known as 'cornication.'
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | December 29, 2006 at 12:44 PM
Or, perhaps, 'shucking.'
Posted by: Just Ducky | December 29, 2006 at 12:50 PM
"You know, honey, I'm really glad we upgraded to dsl. That cheddervision was just killing me on dial-up."
Posted by: Christobol | December 29, 2006 at 12:51 PM
i watched the corn cam but the picture was too grainy...
and wasn't one of the first webcams a pot of coffee, that the programmers down the hall didn't want to get out of their chairs to check?
(yes, check out 'history' here )
Posted by: insomniac | December 29, 2006 at 12:51 PM
Was Jake plowin' the lower forty?
Posted by: stevie w | December 29, 2006 at 12:53 PM
*meanwhile, at Kraft*
"Wilson, you had something you wanted to add to the agenda?"
"Yes sir! I think we should launch a website where people can watch mold grow on our swiss cheese."
"That's the single dumbest idea I've heard all year, and that includes Johnson's plan to run an ad of Britney Spears eating Cheeze-Its while conceiving another child."
"But cheddarvision has been a big hit!"
"Yeah, but that's cheddar. It's the most popular cheese in America. Nobody's going to watch mold grow on swiss."
Posted by: Christobol | December 29, 2006 at 12:55 PM
So apparently now someone does care when jimmy cracks corn.
Posted by: MrFisher | December 29, 2006 at 01:00 PM
Scandal Rocks Midwest!
Des Moines, IA - Web surfers all over rural Iowa were shocked to learn that portions of the video they had been avidly viewing, and in many cases, recording, were not from a corn field.
Investigators at Eye-Witness 8 learned that several sequences were, in fact, images of seedling okra. Web masters explained that they had simply been trying to replace "some of the boring parts" of the early corn development, but many feel hurtfully duped.
"I don't think I'll ever watch corncam the same way," said Gene Porknipple, choking back a sob. Then he went back to his favorite daytime hobby of trying to guess the color of the next car to pass his house. He lives on a dead-end farm road, and is still waiting to see whether his guess from April of 1974 was close.
Posted by: Christobol | December 29, 2006 at 01:05 PM
*snorks* @ JD & MrFisher!
um....were we watching mold grow on Twitney?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | December 29, 2006 at 01:07 PM
Annie- on her tulips?
Posted by: MrFisher | December 29, 2006 at 01:09 PM
*snork* at Gene Porknipple!
Posted by: ubetcha | December 29, 2006 at 01:14 PM
another *snork* @ MrFisher...happy new year to you, sir!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | December 29, 2006 at 01:15 PM
*at corncam hq*
"How'd it go last night?"
"Fine. Those damned aliens came back, but I was able to completely delete all the footage of them forming their stupid crop formations before it streamed out to the web, so viewers weren't interrupted in their corn enjoyment."
"Nice work."
Posted by: Christobol | December 29, 2006 at 01:16 PM
If we put the swiss cheese on the boken...we'll watch.
Annie, Twit's twat hasn't had a chance to grow mold with all that airing it out and stuff.
Posted by: Siouxie | December 29, 2006 at 01:16 PM
LOL Cbol & Mr. F.
Posted by: Siouxie | December 29, 2006 at 01:18 PM
Ugh. Brain bleach, STAT. Thanks for dragging that stubbly field of nightmares into this conversation, y'all.
Posted by: Clean Hands | December 29, 2006 at 01:25 PM
Stubbly Field - wasn't he a game show host in the sixties?
(C-bol, again with the hilarity!)
Posted by: Stevie W | December 29, 2006 at 03:28 PM
Re: C-bol's "Scandal Rocks Midwest!"
I remember they already made a movie about this.
CapriCORN One.
Har har har har
Posted by: Stevie W | December 29, 2006 at 03:31 PM
Poor Gene Porknipple,
you would think he'd learn by now.
Corn don't grow on trees
Posted by: DustyKornphartz | December 30, 2006 at 02:14 AM