THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN NO PROBLEM IF SHE HAD PUT IT IN A ONE-QUART ZIP-TOP CLEAR-PLASTIC BAG
(Thanks to Jennifer Oldham)
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(Thanks to Jennifer Oldham)
They found Baby Jesus! All 32 of him!
(Thanks to Siouxie)
VAGUELY RELATED UPDATE
(from many alert readers, and posted by the s.b.)
POSSIBLY RELATED POSSIBLE REPOST
(ditto)
"Sword-Wielding Santa Vandals" would be a bad name for a rock band.
Related story here, featuring hardcore video of Frosty, Pooh and, yes, Tigger.
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
Key Quote:
In the show 24, Jack Bauer calls his office to get plans and schematics for various buildings. Once these files have been transferred from outside sources to the agency's mainframe, Jack asks to have them downloaded to his PDA. And -- miracle of miracles -- the files are readable without any workarounds. (And download is far faster than is currently possible on the U.S.'s miserable mobile networks.)
What this so-called "expert" apparently does not realize is that the person sending the files to Jack is no ordinary office worker.
...for the Squid-Inspired Vortex Generators.
UPDATE: Whoops. This doesn't seem to be working.
UPDATE: Whoops. Maybe it is.
Or is that a scorpion in your jeans?
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
It is out of control.
And not just in Michigan.
(Thanks to Lawnmower Racer Vinny)
Britain is running out of rhubarb.
(Thabks to DavCat14)
Give the most precious gift of all: an alligator head with original tag.
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
(Thanks to Siouxie)
...quite like this.
(Thanks to Scott Tucker)
This blog also spent a fair amount of time on hands and knees.
(Thanks to garnetwhyte)
...give the gift of whale vomit.
(Thanks to Geoff Butler)
(Blame Occam's Lady Schick)
(Thanks to Kaf Aleni)
...if we know what's good for us, and we think we do. Thank you.
(And thanks to Eleanor)
(Thanks to Valerie)
(Thanks to many people, with Ms. Wheezer first)
(Thanks to PhilinTexas)
Do not even think about clicking here.
(Thanks to Onterrible and Nick Burns)
for Squid Juice.
(Thanks to RussellMc)
(Thanks to Gary Meier)
On today's menu: The Arachnideer.
(Thanks to many people, first among them marva mauthe) (Really.)
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
(Thanks to CoastRaven)
I am getting sick and tired of hearing this guy Tancredo go around calling Miami a "Third World country." Listen, bud: We are a first-world country, and don't you forget it.
I'm sorry they rescinded his invitation to come down here. I think we should have let him come down, then confiscated his passport.
(Thanks to Michael Thompson)
(Thanks to Just Ducky)
I apologize for the lack of posting, but this morning I gave a commencement address at the University of Miami. Among those at the ceremony were UM graduate Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, a funny and extremely large man. I discovered that every time I mentioned him in my speech, the crowd would cheer. So whenever there was a lull, I'd just turn to him and go, "The Rock!" And there would be cheering. To his great credit, he did not pick me up by my neck and shake me like a large robe-wearing maraca.
Dorks Read Vows....
(Thanks to KC Steve)
(Thanks to Jon Harris)
(Thanks to Steve the 24 Guy)
UPDATE (thanks to Cheryl Howard): Maybe they were looking for a bomb.