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December 12, 2006

NUTRITION BULLETIN FROM MARS AN EXPERT

Soy is making our children gay.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

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Of course it does. Who else would eat tofurkey?

This comment has been edited for content.

The #1 cash crop in Illinois is soy beans. Does that mean we are really, really happy?

I just wonder if he has done a lot of research on this? Why do I get the feeling that it is just an opinion based on some lose facts?
Just saying.

I can't believe I saw a pic of Chuck Norris next to this article. Chuck needs to roundhouse kick this guy straight back to his cave. Yeesh.

That should have been headed "A Word from the Wacko Front" because that guy is.

Soybeans are grown in fields. Ferris wheels area also set up in fields. Coincidence?

Oy.

What a load of dog squeeze.

Hug me.

So all those bulls that are fed on soycake have a latent desire to wear ascots and listen to Judy
Garland tapes???

"James Rutz is chairman of Megashift Ministries and founder-chairman of Open Church Ministries."

Megashift? Methinks Mr. Rutz has some personal gender defining issues that should be addressed.

"How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works." (From Dr. Strangelove)

Personally, I'm sticking to grain alcohol and rain water.

Yo soy un hombre sin juevos...

"Unfortunately, when you eat or drink a lot of soy stuff, you're also getting substantial quantities of estrogens."

Boy, I'd sure like to see his documentation on that one. Not many plants are capable of producing animal hormones.

Holy Crap! This explains everything!

Wait...no it doesn't.

Wow. Magical gay beans. Incidentally, did this guy check to see if the rate of homosexuality is higher in China and Japan, where they have been eating soy for thousands of years? (It isn't, by the way). Do olives have the same effect? If not, how do you explain the ancient Greeks? What a load of lunacy. I also find it amusing that he uses 'deviant' as a synonym for 'bad.' Incidentally, is there a lesbian bean? I've heard a few people are looking for one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl7qQ3CGLDc

I had some soy sauce on my rice and hey, I feel like well, pull my finger....

For the record, in spite of my moniker, I do NOT consume mass quantities of soy.

Eat soy, Sr. Steve, and soon you will have juevos, and itty bitty cojones.

Soy, shmoy. It's tofu ya gotta watch out for. And carob. I hate that stuff. Grrr. I am many, etc.

God loves soybeans too!

So, wouldn't soy milk help with hot flashes? I mean, besides bathing in it?

It is absolutely true that soy contains natural plant produced estrogen. My DH and I have been told about this from several sources, including health food stores and doctors (and my Dh no longer puts soy milk on his cereal) We were told that it can cause breast growth is men. (AKKK~!)

But as for making one have homosexual tendancies? I think that is a stretch...most of the guys I have seen with man-boobs are heterosexual and attending sporting events.

Blondetrophy,
... and shirtless with a letters painted on their chests, right?

Gratuitous soy and estrogen info: "Soy contains estrogen-like compounds, not estradiol. The plant sources of estrogen in soy are weak estrogens, approximately 1/1000th the activity of synthetic estrogens."

Yikes!
I wonder what the effect of so many nuts is on society?

so do i want plant estrogen from soy milk or cow progesterone from normal 2% milk? i'm confused! perhaps we should all just drink coffee.

What's with the "if he is a she," comment? And why is it "worse" for a boy to delay reaching puberty than for a seven-year old girl to reach menarche????? This guy's not only loony, but is trying to parade as macho. Trying really hard. Bleaah.

*FINALLY home and able to post*

and a HUGE **SNORK**@ stevie!!!!

pssst...it's 'huevos'...

Glad to see the pertinent points had been covered. Boogers!

How long 'till Ted Haggard blames everything on the soy mochas and tries to re-enter public life?

Is that why it's called pasta e fagioli?

Siouxie, a Columbian friend of mine referred to 'em as huevas - said it was more insuling as a feminine noun. ;-)

Stevie W - those aren't soy beans; they're chick peas and kidney beans in the pasta e fagioli.

And, no, she wasn't referring to my personal huevos. Just to be 100% clear about that.

Good thing you cleared that up CH!

(btw - I left you a technical email on your MySpace).

*has a rrreeeeaaaalllll hard time believin' that soy milk would stop me from likin' wimmen*

Just sayin'

Hey blurk! missed me?? I know you did!!

isn't it odd that I've been having 'blogging' problems since that little hot waxing incident???


hmmm???????

*remembers to call his buddies @ NORAD and thank them for "technical support"*

BTW, RE: my 5:40 post:

Long "i" or short "i", pronounce that either way you'd like.

hmmm very clever, blurk...

I'll get ya back *EG*™

you lik wymen?

Speaking of corrections to earlier posts: at 4:49, I meant "manly". Must not be getting enough protien.

"those aren't soy beans; they're chick peas"

Med, isn't that the guy's point? That they're CHICK peas?

Siouxie, you meant what I knew.

I've been meaning to put together a T-shirt for cretins like this... so that they may proclaim themselves as proud members of the Tinfoil Hat Brigade. May get around to it tonight.

Watch the news for this fellow -- he'll probably show up in a hotel room with a little boy someday, IYKWIM.

Nuttin' wrong with womyn... as long as I can watch.

Oops, did I just type that out loud?

Only kinda huevos I know anything about ends in rancheros. Pass the Tobasco.

CH, thanks for the email...I hope something works itself out. I agree it's a prob with typepad and I've already emailed their support staff (wherever they may be...Pakistan...Saskachewan...) I'll check with our network as well...I haven't changed anything. I'm GOOD here at home.

Siouxie, define "GOOD" please. We're all listenin'.

I'll pass on the likin of wymen...thankuverymucho...and the SOYcrap.

(nttawwt)

Well, we can be pretty sure that the puppies are running free, right? ;-)

hmmm..lets see blurkie...I'm laying in bed...all comfty...bra's history...soon will be having a glass of vino...

yep..i'm definitely good ;-)

how well you know me, CH....first thing that goes...and I KNOW I speak for most of my fella blogbabes...

On that note, I'm off. I'm gonna go home, get out of this uniform and then...
put on real people clothes and go to blurkette's Christmas program at school.

I live such an exciting life.

have a good time...

we all have exciting lives here ;P

OMG. So THATS what the teletubbies have been eating! It all makes sense to me now... No wait. It doesn't.

Stevie W - Duh! But I can tell you that chick peas are not edamame!

Being lactose intolerant and raised on soy, I want to know who I should sue. All this time, I thought I was straight, when I am really a gay man trapped as a chick pea.

Sioux - I am texting you a cocktail. Welcome home.

awww Med...and FINE chick pea you be!!

wooohooo...thanks!! I need that cocktail...

LOL Cheryl & the Teletubbies (gnfa KIDS b?)

Sioux, glad to see you're back "in."

What'd I miss the last couple of days?

(besides blurk.)

Siouxie, are juevos what jewbans have?

hey Wyo! well I'm IN from home...I still can't blog from work. I'm working on it...I'd hate to miss all the daily fun and actually WORK.

hmm good question, Scott...not being a jewban or cubish myself...sounds like it could be.

jew-evos

Cocktails?? Yes please!

Me & a Kids band--snork. I'm so looking forward to a vacation. I'm too busy to even goof off.

I miss everyone. *waves*

Soy. The reason for China's low population.

just wonderin' if they raise a lot of soy beans 'round San Francisco.

*Puts in a call to the Brokeback County Weed and Pest Dept.*

Nah, Wyo, 'beans are grown in the midwest like my native Iowa. Garlic and artichokes are the big crops just south of SF.

Ah, yes, the Gilroy Garlic Queen. :-)

a certain Japanese super-hero would beg to differ...

Now, if they only grew melted butter down there in Gilroy!

"I'll get ya back *EG*™"
Siouxie

Noo! Now I have a mortal enemy, and she already trademarked a catch phrase.

PS: There's something Rutten about Rutz. Maybe it's the soy.

*waves from the Gilroy area*

I must say, I love how this went from soy causing homosexuality to Gilroy and garlic.

Hey, NPE, do they grow melted butter down there 'cause I'm thinking that's all you're missing.

"Research is now showing that when you feed your baby soy formula, you're giving him or her the equivalent of five birth control pills a day."

Does this mean we can dump the Pill and just drink formula instead?
Do the drug companies know about this?

No no no Edgar! That was meant for blurk, using his trademarded *evel grin*. No mortal enemy here ;-)

and his trademarKed *evIl grin* too...damn I can't type tonight.

Soy is feminizing....

As a guy, I can only say: do these veggie burgers make my butt look fat?

A DEVIL FOOD IS GIVING OUR KIDS HALITOSIS
By: Jaime Putz

There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular.
Now, I'm a regular guy, a fanatic who seldom steps into his kitchen unless it's to get a beer. I state my bias here just so you'll know I'm not anti-stinky.
The dangerous food I'm speaking of is Gilroy Garlic. Garlic products are pungent, and they're (not their) all over the place. You can hardly escape them anymore. I am not making this up. Once my mother in law made me back down the stairs during a family get together, threatening me with a bacon-wrapped garlic clove on a toothpick.
I have nothing against an occasional garlic snack, or a sprinkling of garlic salt behind the ears. Garlic is nutritious and contains lots of good things. Garlic is reputedly useful in warding off vampires. Unfortunately, when you eat or drink a lot of garlic stuff, you're also getting substantial quantities of a substance known as ‘terribly smelly stuff’.
At the extreme, a word with which I am not familiar, the damage can be fatal.
Garlic is asphyxiating, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis. The rejections faced by a boy whose breath causes a girl to immolate will shrink his nethers. Clearly, the Devil Food.

*loves garlic* I prefer it roasted with olive oil.
Melted butter goes better with a 100 year old lobster, fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Hey, why ya all standin over way over there?

Yes, Cheryl, but garlic butter goes *real good* on an artichoke.

Cheryl, I got your back! I'm standing over here anyway.

"Research in 2000 showed that a soy-based diet at any age can lead to a weak thyroid, which commonly produces heart problems and excess fat. Could this explain the dramatic increase in obesity today?"

Somehow I don't think that the morbidly obese are eating a lot of tofu...

So it sounds like soy will make a female more feminine, right? :)

I eat tofu all the time and I'm perfectly fine.

*innocently bats eyelashes*
*forgets everything I know about internal combustion engines*
*polishes fingernails and fusses about chipped nail*

I've never tried Garlic butter on an artichoke, I've always had them with aioli. Sounds great though, I'm game.

Cj--thanks man. Roasted garlic?

Fava, don't you make my four-year-old son gay.

Phhhhhhhhttttttttt!!!!!!!!

Homosexuality is NOT increasing -- the percentage has been and is stable across all populations (if there seem to be more, maybe it's because we feel more free to come out!).

And what about the evidence that we are BORN that way?

Sorry, I find it difficult to be funny -- it's bad enough putting up with Rush, not to mention Brittney and Paris denying a affair like it's something to be ashamed of (not saying that they can't say it isn't true if it isn't true, but please don't act like it's an insult!)

Rant over,

Sincerely,

The token vagitarian

Hey Amer! gumball?? I promise there's no tofu in it!

here...chill with a latte and croissant ;-)


*sets out the coffee and tofu-less donuts*

Good Mornin!!! since I probably still won't be able to post from work may I wish ya'll a great day!!!

adds a liberal dollop of soy milk to the coffee.
i feel pretty, oh so pretty, i feel pretty and witty and gaaaaaaaaaaaay!

"P.S.: Soy sauce is fine. Unlike soy milk, it's perfectly safe because it's fermented, which changes its molecular structure. Miso, natto and tempeh are also OK, but avoid tofu."

Well, he's got that part about tofu right. And glad to hear that Kikkoman is not 'deviant'.

Reminds me of the Far Side cartoon with a coupla lions gagging over the dreaded Tofuti beast. Anyone see that one?

Oh, and check out the Bocken. I'm very suspicous. Kamera 1 looks like it is daylight, but Kamera 2 looks like it is dark. I smell a goat, er I mean a rat.

Morning all!

Warning to Gay Men and Hetero-femmes

Stay the hell away from beef jerky.

Hey Souixie,

A latte and a chocolate filled donut would definitely improve my mood. I can't be too much of a hetero-femme -- NTTAWWT -- because I love chocolate too much. That's definitely a very feminine sort of thing!!! (Not stereotyping-- I think there are legitimate hormonal reasons for this.)

Actually, now that I think about it, I can hear the religeuse calling from next door (one big chocolate cream puff with a little one on top and a frilled white creamy collar -- faintly resembles a nun.

They are DECADENT!

amer - you have that stuff within walking distance and you aren't over 500 lbs. i'd be camped out on their doorstep. can't help it, and i'm using the hormonal, genetic, global warming excuse... which ever one is most politically incorrect this morning. i'll bet they even have great coffee to wash those glorious calories down with. this is not decadence, it's the basic food groups.

Irish Coffee is the perfect food. It contains all four basic food groups: caffeine, alcohol, sugar and fat.

sides with WW on the food groups. Wondering what a latte-filled donut would be like. (a real timesaver?)

I've long held that the four food groups are Pasta, Chocolate, Beef and Beer. Then some jerk decided we should have a pyramid. Everything is getting way to complex. Next thing you know, they'll be tellin' us Pluto's not a planet!

stop, stop, my head is going to explode. i had a 'sensible' whole wheat bagle and plain black coffee for breakfast this morning in an effort to get back to my fighting weight. no more teasing, i can't take it. just the thought of a latte-filled doughnut or a cream puff and my willpower is starting to crack.

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