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December 30, 2006


Champagne sabering.

(Thanks to my son)


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How do I open the champagne cold? My saber won't fit in the fridge.

"Don't do it warm unless you want to have an orgasmic spray," he said. "The colder the better"

I prefer it warm BECAUSE of the orgasmic spray. Is that so wrong???

hehehe, I'm leaving in 20 minutes to go to a champagne tasting. I'm gonna practice my sabering! WoooHoooo!

Here's to you Annie! CHEERS!

Will that work with a bottle if Diet Mtn. Dew?

*pictures Uma Thurman in her Kill Bill outfit*


Hey, casey! Have a wonderful new year! I just rescued my neighbor's ADHD (registered!) pug dog, who was loose (again). Now she's running amok in my house with my 2 maniacs. I'm sitting here waiting for the sound of broken glass....

2 things to remember -
1. champagne - cold
2. whip cream - body temperature

3. lots of batteries

um..for the Christmas toys, of course. for kids. really.

*hiss of sucking air through teeth*

Yikes, good thinking, Annie. (Or is that the voice of experience?)

"That IS Hanzo steel"

Annie, can I send you MY two wackos.

oh and my dogs too.

Random observations...
-The people in the 3rd vid are watching Jeopardy but I can't read the question.
-I'm tired of this anti-American, French attitude of superiority. (Note subtle placement of frog in the 6th vid).
-The guy in the last vid looks like he's about to self-circumcize. Definitely NOT poifect.
-I must be the only dork who actually watched them all.

OT - Omigosh, that dog! She's insane - running thru the house, over the sofa, thru chairs, into our scottie dog....since she's a pug, she'd then keel over and hyperventilate because her nose is too small, so I thought she was gonna flatline right there.
Siouxie, I'll pass on your generous, 'kind-hearted' offer.
*pours another Irish coffee....*
*gets back to sharpening glass saber*

Nope, Stevie, I watched all of them, too. Looks fun but I don't think I'll try it. On second thought, I wonder if this would work on an Arrogant Bastard.

After reading that I feel tingly all over.

hmm ok dorks I didn\\\'t watch \\\'em.

*grabs those \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\s*

(My partner just yelled "Better not! It would make me cry!" in my ear. AB is his favorite beer.)

I'm selling \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s. Anybody need some \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s?

Scott - yes, that's the voice of experience, or more aptly, the shriek of experience...at least half an hour out of the fridge with the cool whip.

also selling '''''''''''''''''''''s!!

Medical Advice:

In case of swallowing glass, eat asparagus.
Fibers will wrap around sharp edges & facilitate a smooth transition....

(I personally think they just tell you this to keep you distracted while your intestines are ripped to shreds. Still better than Barry Manilow)

Notice they're all guys? I wanna meet a chick who can open a potent potable like THIS.

very funny Jazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

stevie - your potables are a bit too potent today - "The people in the 3rd vid are watching Jeopardy but I can't read the question."

you can't read the question or the answer?

regarding your Toohey's vid - I can do that, but only with the twist-off ones. The REALLY hard part is making mixed drinks.... ;)

Has anyone seen those Korbel commercials? I'm find them to be inexplicably mesmorizing.

Punkin-Is that a true fact? About the asparagus? Good to know.

stevie w.......do you have her name?

"Orgasmic Spray" WBAGNF one of my college girlfriends.

Oops, did I type that out loud?

"I can do that, but only with the twist-off ones."

Oh reeeeeeeaaaaaaally, annie?

"The REALLY hard part is making mixed drinks.... ;)"

That's what you need a man around for.

AWBH.....shaken or stirred?

Lisa, True fact! (Only suggested for tiny slivers. If you bite off a chunk, better get help) Also works for dogs who may have swallowed glass. (Cats don't eat the asparagus too good)

This has been a pubic service announcement.

OT, but for those of you kind enough to ask me for a pic a while back, I have finally gotten up the courage to post THIS.

Ladies, the line forms at the left.

Girls! stand back..he\\\\\\\'s MINE!!!!

Steve, um, has anyone suggested adenoid surgery?

Siouxie's been sniffing glue again, girls....let's go get her...

so steve w.....you work out?

"do you have her name?"

It's all a blur, jazzzz, btu what keeps coming to mind is Orgasmic Spray.

Punkin, it s stevie and that hot video - im still woozy!

stevie - all I can say is, where the he!! are my batteries?

Annie, that is why I mentioned earlier, the need for batteries.

Lol, annie. just play me on a repeating loop and I'll go all night long for you.

Then you tube, uh, too, sxi! I missed your battery reference.

Siouxie - I know the only attractive guys in Miami are married or gay (or geeks), but HANG ON! I'm sending you a LUMBERJACK straight from the Maine woods!

('Course, he's blazing his own path down the appalachian trail, so you may just wanna get fresh batteries til he gets there)

wooohoooo a manly man! in one of those hot plaid shirts?? You ARE my BFF, Punkin!!

about the batteries...not to worry. Got plenty.

A brief break from cooking duties, to post this shot of ShyJan, Cousin Sue, and CJ. ShyJan [blonde] is in bug trouble because Sue has been on vacation, alone, for 4 days. That means Jan has been surfing too often and Sue about threw something at me when I pulled out the laptop. More later, when it's safe!

CJ, I see you guys are making \\\"Pink Elephants\\\" (from the HUGE Pepto Bismol bottle in the corner).

1 part Pepto
6 parts vodka
you will be seeing those pink elephants after that.

GREAT picture! *waves to ShyJan & Cousin Sue*

In reference to the belly button bottle opener, some of us can do that well. That is why Mr. wxgurl asked me to marry him all those years ago! Of course, he can tie a cherry stem in a knot with his teeth.

*waves to ShyJan, CJ and Cousin Sue*

Pass me a Pink Elephant! I have a long evening of weather watching at work ahead!

"he can tie a cherry stem in a knot with his teeth."

Oh, sure, but does he know anything about Japanese anime?

CJ, how is it that you keep finding yourself as the only man in the company of multiple female bloglits? Kudos, and drink up, all!

Not sure he knows much about the anime, but he does do windows!

wxgurl, I cant do the belly button/opener but I knot the stem.

*Mixes up Pink Elephants for all*

I figure we must all have one talent or another, mine just all involve my drinking days of college!

I would love to try the champagne opening trick, but my family doesn't trust me with sharp objects anymore...

*sigh* i dedicated a greater part of my 20's to trying to tie a cherry stem. i never managed it. probably why i'm still single.

wxgurl - square knot or slipknot?
(If it's a double-loop bowline, I may have known him years ago.)

I KNEW I shoulda gone on to Eagle scout.

crossgirl: try the bottle opening trick instead!

Annie, just a simple square knot, I didn't set my sights too high on that one!

Stevie: he never made it to Eagle scout...just had a lot of free time on his hands!

Thanks for the pink elephants Siouxie...May I have another!

Forget scouting. it just takes practice.

OK just saw the shoes, and the comments on the shoes, and I've decided to get Mr. Wxgurl a pair of those for our anniversary...Now he can do more than just windows!

*mixes up another batch of Pink Elephants*

Cherry on top??

Perfect practice makes perfect. I'm willing to sacrifice myself for the good of the blog. Just the kind of guy I am.

You go Jazzzz....We're rooting for ya!

Wow! That reminds me of the time that Dave, Michelle, Beth, Jeff, and I were smuggling gelding chipmunks out of Des Moines in an RV when all of a sudden...*looks at "Over 25 hours without pissing off Dave's wife" sign*

Never mind.

*posts 'snork' @ c-bol sign*

Here's a question. If you could find a way to put a mentos in a bottle of champaigne, would that become a WMD? Would you have automatic membership on the UN Security Council?

Here's another question. Why do I always want to throw an extraneous "i" in the word champagne? As if the silent "g" isn't enough?

C-bol You mean like the mento would become a projectile? mebbe so(credit to OtU)

On a similar thought...One thing I know for sure is you should never, EVER just pop one of those Airborne(tm) cold-prevention tabs into your mouth before reading the instructions on the package.

just sayin'

I was thinking, if you invert the bottle, you could use the propulsion to send an average yak to the moon. Which, if I'm not mistaken, is the minimum requirements for a WMD. Or maybe that's a WYM. Either way, I think you should get free soup for life.

Lisa - is there a good science fair project story involved with the Airborne (tm)?

c-bol - a silent 'g' is never enough. A loud 'o'...now you're talkin'.

On your way outta Des Moines, you were headed for Champaign, Illinois to start your own gelded chipmunk pictorial a la the famous French artiste. Unfortunately, you were baroque.

OMG Christobol - I snorked so hard, Champagne came out my nose!

wxgurl-ah, yeah that's right...it was a science fair project. uh huh.

omg - Urbana just came out my nose!

annie-that sounds painful

it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't tied in a slipknot.

OT Booger Meet-up Update

We feasted on shrimp, crab claws, and asparagus with sesame seeds sprinkled over it [very good!]. The crab claws weren't because we couldn't afford the more expensive crab breast meat; heah abouts, we has large crab claws. ShyJan's cousin Sue didn't always know when I was messing with her. During this story, all I had to do was ask her "Just how big was that bee swarm? and she would do this.

Full bellies and sunset. And now, to wander off and see what you folks did today.

So iffin' I get the crabs, they have claws? Man, that'l keep you honest.



I have a cousin who lives there ... I wuz thinkin' it, but you posted it!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(I don't think she does the knotted cherry stem, tho ...)

Many *snorks* to all, whereas Annie just made me giggle all the way into the kitchen with 'twist-off only.'

Take 251 bottles of Diet Coke, add 1500 Mentos, and stand back:

OK, spam monster won't let me post the link in a regular form, so cut and paste this one:


PB’s link

Hey - Just watched Gerald Ford's funeral....Cheney gave an excellent eulogy. Damn him. Takes away from my dispising of him.... I'm sure it will pass, though.

Wassup here????

Oh - and all in favor of blowing up the spam-bot, raise your Mentos ™!

thanks CJ. Please note that if you want to attempt the non-twist-off type, or even the pull-tab type, your belly button must be an outie.

Donkey, CJ :)

I want a Diet Coke fountain at my next party! Think we can set that up?

Bumper sticker on a twin's car:

My Other Belly Button Is An Audi

I SO want to read this thread but if I don't go to bed I won't get up on time (3am) to catch my plane to beautiful, sunny Florida.

Happy New Year to all and when I get back I want to see a totally burned out Bocken. (Blurk -- are you listening???) That's all I want for the New Year. Oh, and maybe hit a jackpot on the booze/gambling boat out of St. Pete.

Best wishes to all for a fabulous 2007.

PB - boy, talk about yer orgasmic spray there at the end!

Good thing those guys are wearing white lab coats. Otherwise I might not take them seriously.

And when Mentos are outlawed, only outlaws will have Mentos?

Mentos Gone Wild

Why not slip a few Mentos into the drain on the soda machine at the local eatery? Every time someone overfills, it'll foam up like Bush with a multi-syllable verb.

That would be a gas, Annie..... ;)

Annie, please quit disparaging our trained chimp. This one walks better than some of our previous models.

punkin-I'm in on the bot thing

ubetcha-Have fun!!! Win lots o' money.

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