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December 31, 2006

BULLETIN BULLETIN TRAGIC YEAR-END BULLETIN

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and by the looks of that photo, becomes one of the Village People

First? And boo hoo? Whatever.

Oops. Lisa beat me to it. :)

Oops. Lisa beat me to it. :)

Will she start wearing panties? Will she stop dropping her kids on the floor? Will she get a brain?

Enquiring minds WANT to know.

Ooooohhh, busy this a.m. -- aren'tcha, Lisa ...

Too bad that Brittwit still doesn't get it, eh?

Village People...lol, lbff.

But she's still hot.

OtU-I'm reading some other online stuff today, so when these were posted, I just jumped on over.

Obviously we live in different worlds. People here don't even know who Paris Hilton is. But they are resourcefull. allow me to explain...

Last night I went out to watch football (he’s got a bigger TV) at my brother-in-law Ralph’s. (Not Jeff’s real name.) Ralph and Alice (not Janice’s real name either) are building a house on their property north of town. However, like all great men, Ralph was able to persuade Alice (who’s real nickname is Bubba) that his huge, three-bay shop building should be built first. While the house is being “built” (to date, there remains little but a huge hole in the yard) they’ve moved into one bay of the the shop.

In the bay next to the one in which they’re currently living, was Jeff’s Ralph’s new pontoon boat. Beside that sits Alice’s treadmill.

The reader (you, in this case) must understand that those of us who live in rural Wyoming must, by necessity, develop many skills for survival. Most ranchers are a pretty fair hand as a plumber, electrician, welder, ferrier, cable guy and mechanic, just to name a few. I noticed two cables running out from under Alice’s treadmill, and attached to the battery on Ralph’s boat. I also noticed that the treadmill was plugged into the wall. Closer examination of the treadmill revealed that Ralph had rigged a generator to the treadmill, thereby using Alice’s energy to charge the battery for his fishin’ boat. Way cool.

WYO, Ha! That's awesome!

So, I have a question for everyone....

Does Paris Hilton stay that the Hilton in Paris when she goes there? Isn't that a little confusing for her?

Snork at Wyo. When Alice shoots Ralph does that mean she gets to bury him in the hole that would be the house?

Year: 2029
Scene: Los Angeles County Courthouse

Judge
You've been charged with indecent exposure, drunk and disorderly behavior, driving a hovercraft while under the influence, public sex with a hologram, a third-rate Mel Gibson impersonation during your arrest and generally being a nuisance and having your head up your ass. Do you have anything to say for yourself?

Sean Preston
My parents are Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.

Judge
Oh. You really can't help yourself, then. Case dismissed. You've been through enough, son.

Whenever she hears someone say, 'Paris, France', I'm sure says, "No, silly, my last name's Hilton!"

Wyo - you're related to the Kramdens?

...only geezers will remember..but it was one of them new-fangled cellphone commercials...

("The Weight")
I pulled out the internet just like a bunch of tubes
Saw a pic of Miss Britney showing tw*t and boobs
Tried to get my eye bleach but the jug it had gone dry.
Opened up the window, let loose a plaintive cry...

"Put some clothes on Britney, put some clothes on please!
Put some clothes on Britney and (and) (and) you don't want that thing to freeze! "

She ditched that Miss Paris,won't go to clubs or malls.
She called up old Satan, he won't return her calls!
Two kids by K-Fed, she's suffered quite enough
For Christmas I hope she got a big old furry muff!

(chorus)

Two-thousand six is gone, good riddance is all I say
I don't wish Miss Britney ill, just wish she'd go away!
Stretch fifteen minutes out, till it somehow seems like years.
Make young girls go outside , forget to clothe their...ears.

(chorus)


Ah, Brit, I didn't think it was possible to give trailer trash a bad name...

And KevFed has been great for her image.

Brit, baby look inward. Where ever you go, there you'll be.

Oh Dave, nothing personal, but I can't be seen in public juggling prepubescent dingos with you anymore.

Apparently it could hurt my image, in the event I get one.

We can still type on the same internet, though.

Nice, insom. But what commercial? I know "The Weight," by the Band, of course.

Cbol, Dave says the prepubescent dingo ate his internet.

Brit - news flash for ya, hun.....we were questioning your parenting skills WAY before you started hanging with Paris.

Right casey, I mean, how CAN she hurt her image after K-dumb @ss

CJ.......you there?

who declares an end to a friendship, seriously? do real humans do that?

Hey Jazzzzy, you and Mrs. got big NY plans?

Hey to you too, Judi. Have a safe and happy celebration! Say hi to Walter.

Hey bali....funny story.... I did spend the first 20 yrs of my life in a trailer, but vow never again. NTTATWWT, I've just done my time. Anyway, the other day I was waking a girl up from surgery with the good drugs still in affect, when she tried to focus on me and said..."So, what trailer park do YOU live in?" I guess you can take the boy out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the boy! I still laugh about that one.

Judi, that's an easy one to figure out. No, humans do not do that. Brit is not human.

Jazzzz, I lived in one too, when I was in college. Before I realised they're tornado magnets. It's concrete and rebar for me these days.

casey, I'm on call, so my plans are to NOT go to the horsepistol if possible. I just got home from fixing broken bones on a guy whose blood alcohol was 0.26 (3 x's the legal limit) he topped that off with some cocaine and canibis, then thought riding his murdercycle real fast in the rain would be fun. I was not amused. You can't kill those people.
ALERT! I saw where tonight between 12 and 3 a.m., 77% of traffic deaths are alcohol related. 77%!!!!

steve w. - wikipedia says 'the weight' was used for a cingular/at&t wireless commercial ...i remember it as one where a guy was driving a long way to see his girl or something like that...

Gee whiz, Jazz, how awful! I agree that those kinds of stupid just cant be killed. I work in personal injury and see the inocent victims of that kind of idiocy all day long.

I'm going to a party, and even tho it's only 5 minutes away, I've got a DD. My momma didnt raise no fool! Well, she did, but that's my brother.

The party I'm going to is really only about 5 minutes away thru the woods and I sometimes ride one of my horses very near the house. I thought about riding on over, but my friend doesnt have a hitchin post, so I thought I would ride in a car instead. I think you can still get killed or arrested on a horse.

judi - humans don't do it, at least after they've left junior high...which is where La Spears is stuck emotionally...nowadays, instead of passing notes in math class, she leaks stuff to the tabloids.

I'm going to a party, and even tho it's only 5 minutes away, I've got a DD.

no comment, I know what she really meant.

"she leaks stuff to the tabloids."

It was probably Sonia Muckles' last official act.

Shame on you, WYO, for reading my mind and being keeper of the pix.

casey.....Have fun, and be careful. Celebrate for me!! I'm off tomorrow though. I love horses. Don't have any (yet) maybe someday. Would you call this rambling?...............I thought so.

Alas, the mind of a man-of-the-male-type gender is not a complex thing. Resourceful, maybe, but not complex.

Insom - good job (albeit I'm about an hour LTTG) It's pi$$ing rain here in ATL, so I'm cleaning my office today. I may have found Hoffa and my 1972 W-2 form, but the dust is so think I can't tell.

*snork* Pogo....Hoffa in da office. Who knew?

But now, she's apparently running around Scottsdale with Matt Leinart, who was previously linked to Paris Hilton, but now has a baby mommie and is engaged to be married.

why do you know this brad?

two more hours to place your bets on whether i get stood up or not. odds are heavily against me.

Leinart used to qb at USC - he had a fiancee then, I think the same one who has the baby now.

insom - "The Weight" used to be one of my favorite songs... I love the Band....

ugh...why am I so tired today?

I pity da fool, CG. anyone that stands you up, must have dain bramage.....Or will have after the manly bloglets have a "talk" with them.

thanks jazz, i'll be sure to turn him over to ya'll should he fail to make good on his promise. i know i'll be thinking very strongly, bad thoughts about him. i'm going to see sister hazel regardless. they'll be part of anderson cooper's countdown where they show bands all over. look for me. i'll be the one without a date!

crossgirl - if you get stood up, it's because he's intimidated by successful women, so you're better off without him. However, if you'd like, we ARE available to dogpile on his email addy.

Blog-sistahs unite!

I'm with Jazzzz where CG's concerned. There are some really stupid men out there.

speaking of horses and drunk riding, we had a city cop get in trouble several years ago for riding his horse into, not up to, the local bar. not barn. i would have loved to have been there.

CG - I have at least seen your eyes at Wyo's gallery. Unless you have a personality like a cactus, I can't imagine you being stood up. If I weren't an old married geezer who smells like dogs and livestock a lot, I'd take those eyes out just hear the mind behind them.

*unites!*

crossgirl, I agree with Annie. If he doesn't show up, he doesn't deserve to be hanging out with you anyway.

Happy New Year, everybody! I will never declare an end to my love for you people.

Hey, look at that! Right back on topic. :)

Sorry, guys, I gotta do this...

Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "This cop has been tailing me since I made a U-turn 3 blocks ago. Would you please get him off my back?"

In Without Knocking

yet more evidence that men are resourceful but not complex.

Wyo - We haven't done anthing like that in about 30 years. Well, 20 anyway...

*snorks* for annie's joke.

hugs all around for all of you. i didn't come on for ego stroking, but it's nice!! i actually have a great personality, if just a tad a bit off. it's been a weird year. hopefully this new one will be better. merry happy new year with hugs and kisses to all!

adendum: hugs and kisses for all 'cept paris, britney and their ilk.

crossgirl-They bought an "ilk" now? Animal Control should really step in there. (tee hee sorry)

ps cg-we love your personality

The day started so wonderfully, with Dave's reflection of 2006, and we have already sunk to the depths of Twitney and Shillton.

*sighs*

(((((my blog family)))) Thanks for the laughs, and Happy New Year.

Oh, and Judi - I confess I did publicly tell someone they aren't my friend anymore....... with a divorce decree. Does that make me bad or juvenile?

Wyo, you are a bad, bad boy. I LOVE IT!

Snorks and hugs to all y'all!!!

CG, I'm with you, I don't come here for ego stroking but dang, it sure feels good!

Me and you CG, we're gonna conquer the world in the new year!

early toast with casey! *clink*

*Pop** opens a bottle of veuve for the blogettes.

Champagne, anyone?

Jazzzzz, yes, I'm here. 35-24, Jags gettin' whooped. Asparagus ready, potatoes would be more ready if I had turned on the correct burner. I've gone through half a bag of hardwood lump charcoal, waiting to put the ribeyes on. *stoopid fancy stove with no burners and silly circles to place pots on*

CG, I pity the fool that leaves you hanging! I'll be right over as soon as these taters are done.

Thanks, Med. Just a sip. That stuff can be painful in the mornin', and we have to help move some sheep.

I have a lovely 6-pak of "Festive Ale". Anyone?

CJ - I don't see the fat lady singin' yet. We just fumbled. :-(

you lost me med. if this is about the bucs, the fat lady is crying....

the answer to anything to do with champagne is yes!

and thank you cj, although don't think it's escaped my notice that you live closest to me but share your crabs with all the other blog chics!

pictures pogo putting little sheep beds and tvs and such into a uhaul.

*snork* at cg's "sheep beds and tvs."

(not tryin' to stroke her ego, but it made me laugh out loud.)

The sheep have to do their own packing. They have a nice set of worsted wool suits alerady packed. The tour guides.

CG - Me and CJ's teams are playing: JAX and KC. And its a nail biter, both teams have had tough seasons and HAVE to win today for a snowballs chance at the playoffs.

I love Paris every moment,
Every moment of the year,
I love Paris,
My, oh my, do I love Paris,
Unless I'm Britney Spears.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! :* :* :*

already, dammit!

i caught up med. you wrote cj and i read cg. it's all making sense now.

pogo - border collies rule! And tell those sheep to put some clothes on.

omg, he's here! nite ya'll happy new year!!!

Annie - That's Gus. (I'm the one on 2 legs).

Hey where did they go,
Britney has no shame.
Her panties are no-show,
Splayin' a new game,
Whistling and a thumping hey, hey
Tripping and a bumping
In a misty drunken fog well
Your brain is sumthin' and you're
A dumb-@ss blonde,
You're a dumb-@ss blonde.

Whatever happened
Madonna and J-Lo
They weren't no Einsteins
Butt better bimbos,
Hanging out with Paris,drinking,
Saying it's all K-Fed's fault,
Slipping and sliding
Goin' to the White Trash Ball, and you're
A dumb-@ss blonde,
You're a dumb-@ss blonde.

Do you remember when you couldn't sing,
Sha la la la la la la la la la shoot me now.

So sad to see you play,
Now all I can do is moan.
I saw you just the other day,
My how fat you have grown,
Toss a highball back there, bored,
Toss a baby on the kitchen floor,
Ovulating with the white trash
Who knew that you're so dumb and you're
A dumb-@ss blonde,
You're a dumb-@ss blonde.

Do you remember when you couldn't sing
Sha la la la la la la la la la shoot me now.

Annie, I don't think you'll be replacin' James Brown, but that was pretty good.

and Yay CG!! Have some fun!

brava Annie!!!!

OK ... merely so I don't fergit later ... Happy New Year (Gregorian Calendar) to all the bloglits ...

(I've got a sippin' amount of Glenlivet waitin' fer the right time fer me to enjoy it ... this could be a long evening ... Xcept, MB(RH?) reminds me that we usually don't make it past 9:30 p.m. ... )

Well, I know it’s late in the week (of The Blog’s vacation), but I guess because it’s New Year’s Eve, my mind naturally turns to high jinx. So, I’m thinking that in the time we have left before Dave gets back we should all see how much trouble we could get into.

We could initiate the high jinx plan after our New Year’s Eve festivities by first discussing, the nature, height, duration, and quality of the high jinx; formulating a committee to strategize (and figure out if "high jinx" should be hyphenated). And finally, implementing a full-scale high jinx attack of some kind.

Or…we could just play this.

Either way, Happy New Year to my favorite bloglits in the world.

AWBH: Excellent song. Just excellent. Oh, and *snork*


Lisa, I have been playing the game now for 10 minutes! What an anit-productive way to spend my work time. Too fun!

*runs in for a min...have to get ready for my new year\\\\\\\'s celebration with the girlfriends*

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!! Have a safe and wonderful time and I\\\\\\\'ll see ya\\\\\\\'ll Next Year!!!


*clinks* a toast to each and everyone of you...

*falls over drunk*

*hic*

are we there yet?

*takes back all her \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s*

so sorry.

Happy New Year, Y'All! Been out on a date with the Mr., we met on a blind date on NYE and got married 4 months later...still together 25 years and 4 kids later! Having a NYE party later, so I'm cooking like crazy! Lime tquila chicken wings, anyone?

Back....Had to go to the #@*&*#^%$.......^%$#*^^&$%^&.....$#%@#$*&%...hospital.!!. $#&%$#% it!!
Just caught up on the blog, *snorks* to all.
1) CG .... we ain't trying to stroke your ego, just callin' 'em like we see 'em
2) AWBH .... love the horse joke
3) pogo.... we have a border collie also, they do rule!
4) CJ.... *grumble grumble grumble* dang Jags
5) Wyo, Siouxie, LBFF, OtheU, and all the rest...just so you don't feel left out

Huge New Year's SNORK @ Annie!

Along the lines of productivity enhancers, I offer this

Happy New Year to ALL you wonderful bloglits! Hope 2007 will be the best year ever!

Most excellent ditty, Annie. Most excellent.

Jazzzz, so sorry for your return to the house of insanity--er, hospital.

*tosses Jazzzz a non-alcoholic gumball*

Pogo, your border collie looks just like mine--I haven't seen too many brown & white ones. Perhaps you, Jazzzz, and I should form the Bloglits With Border Collies Association.

Oh, Jazzzz, I hope you don't see death this nite. We're thinking of you.

CG, I'm so glad he showed! Have fun gal! I'm ready for my party, just waiting on my driver!

To all the rest of you.....I heart you so much and I can't wait till spending the next year with you!!!

CG, question: I know you work with found objects. I have lots of stained glass remnants in 5 gallon buckets. Does that count as "found"? I love your work with glass and thought I would offer to donate my leftovers.

Blondes.
Dames, blondes.

JustDucky...my border collie is brown and white too!!!! *eerie music plays* I'm in for the DBBBCA

Wow, Jazzzz, I hear that eerie music!
*looks around for Rod Serling*
Quite a coinkydink, as we say at our house. Our bc is a nine-year-old male. When the kids were younger, he'd follow them when they went upstairs, nipping at their heels. Quite the child herder. Did a much better job than I did.

And the non-border-collie-owning members of the blog can be called Bloggers Without Borders.

snork @ JD for "Bloggers w/o Borders!"

My lab/border herds us, too. A cold wet nose behind the knee - just what I need.

Happy, happy Nude Year, everyone!!

A loud end-of-the-year *snork* to JD. I would be a BWB member, but have cats to donate for herding practice.

Hamm, that's just fine. My dog's tired of herding his own cat.

I could be a member of BWB, and also a member of BWW (Westies) ... but that doesn't have the same amusing quality to it ... merely sayin' ...

Merlely hopin' that BWB doesn't get construed as Bloggers With Boogers ... eh?

*snork* at OtheU! But if the schnoz fits...

Can I add my Coonhound mix and Weimey mix to the BWB group! The Weimey mix seems to be mixed with some kind of herding dog, as he likes to herd the Coonhound (who is twice his size) and any small children he sees into a little circle!

BTW, thanks for letting me sneak into your happy blog world! It is a wonderful diversion from weather watching at work!

....she had decided not to be seen in public with her - she said it wasn't personal.

How is that not "personal"?

---- or are we talking about canine bloodlines now?

BWB does not discriminate, wxgurl. Your hounds are welcome.

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