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November 10, 2006

WHY WE NEED GUYS

Guys are pioneers.

(Thanks to Jay Drew)

Comments

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Paging Dr. John.. Paging Dr. Elton John...

I think his friends got a bang out of that. (ugghh)

this does not shock me...guys light their farts...it was just a matter of time before that wasn't enough!!

i hope that he managed to remove himself from further contributions to the already-screwed-up gene pool.

Interesting that on the same page it stated

"Blair warns of 'long, deep struggle' against terrorism"

Is this perhaps the same video that made the rounds back in the spring?

One way to get his rock(et)s off. get him a job at NASSA.

Hope he had a real blast.

At first reading, I thought it was a Black Cat Thunderbutt Rocket!

call the darwin folk this dude he ain't no joke you know i think his pooper's broke yo, did you see all that smoke? now he's got an i.v. pumping and his head is surely thumpin you know he drank alotta sumpin' (i wonder how he's dumpin'?) talk about a plan that backfired - you know that he's retired form all them stunts jackass inspired he's got dubious fame aquired
from the internizzle
what's up my blizzle?
video on the internizzle
rectum? almost killed him for shizzle

This is the one Chaz.

Rectum? I guess it wrecked him.Blew him all to Bejesus.

I must say, everyone is in FINE form today! 'Specially C-bol, Insom and Mud!

Fire in the hole!

*snork* at Annie and Mud

jackass? now he's a 'lackass'!

*rimshot*

This one is much better.

"Let's not forget these are explosives. They come with specific instructions about how they should be used."

Yeah, the problem is that they don't have instructions on how they're (not there) not supposed to be used. Use as a suppository would go on that list.

Thank God they're busy passing laws to protect us from fireworks. My gosh, until the Almighty Government told me otherwise, I thought it was perfectly safe to shove explosives up my butt and light them!

Nimrods like this - and the nanny-staters who coddle them - are making it impossible for those of us who are responsible about how and where we blow things up to continue to pursue our chosen forms of entertainment.

Yeah, gimme gumball. One of those Atomic ones if you've got 'em.

At first I thought the headline meant Elton John was putting things in his rear. Well, yeah.

I'm speechless...well, almost..

You'd think a soldier would know this is NOT the right place to store ammunition...let alone light it.

Also, if he becomes a doctor later and he suggests a Black Cat Thunderbolt enema, get a second opinion.

(passes CH a gumball, though he really doesn't want to know where the idiot keeps the atomic ones)

Which idiot, bookworm? :-)

Dave, by "Pioneer" you, of course, mean "Idiot" right?

He packed his arse that night, pre-light
At the bonfire, dropped his pants
And he thought he’d be high
Doin' the Black Cat dance

He lit the fuse and then
The Cat blew up
Imploding in his butt
The young Sunderland pup

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time
Till he heals and sits down on his behind
He’s not the man he was when he came home
Ah, no no no
He’s a rocket man
Rocket man
Burnin’ out his fuse
Out there alone

Top notch, ducky!

He took that song "baby light my fire" a little too literal. Mud - feel free to create an entirely new set of lyrics should you feel the need.

He came home a private first class
He stuck fireworks up his ass
The explosion so heinous
They found half his anus
In Maine and the other half, Mass.

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Girl, I couldn't get much higher
Come on baby, light my fire
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire

The time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the mire
Try now we can only lose
And my a55 become a funeral pyre
Come on baby, light my fire
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire, yeah

I see a lawsuit here...I highly doubt the warning label on the rocket says not to launch it from your buttocks.


This reminds me of a bit that I just re-read (maybe in Dave Barry's guide to money?) from one of Dave Barry's books.

It was about a fake commercial about getting rich in real estate, and the guy (Earl?) was saying how he used to light a rocket right around there as the "fart of doom", only one time it went off wrong and burned him pretty badly.

Come on mud, you changed only one word.

After eighteen long months in Iraq
The soldier was finally back.
Infernally celebrate?
Eternally celibate.
Poor guy blew away most of his sack.

CH--nobody here, I swear! I mean our soldier idiot...or perhaps one of his buddies who encouraged him.

If a fool blows off half of his rectum
And you find the parts, do you connect 'em?
It's a doctor's dilemma
A moral problema
Cos he'll do it again, if you let 'im.

He thought it would be kinda neat
To blow sparks from his ass in the street
But he misread the meter
Lost part of his peter
So they're calling him Piccolo Pete.

*double snork* at stevie

Pity, what? Right up until that moment he was a perfect arsehole.

Fire is a burning thing
and it makes a firey ring
makes a colon's pyre
My bum turned to a ring of fire...

My bum turned into a burning ring of fire
I went down,down,down
and the flames went higher.
And it burns,burns,burns
the ring of fire
the ring of fire.

The smell of burning meat
when fire and stupid meet
I played with bombs like a child
oh, but the fire went wild..

Good one, ebl (not to be confused with obl).

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