THIS WOULD BE NO PROBLEM IN THE U.S., AS LONG AS IT WAS INSIDE A ONE-QUART, CLEAR-PLASTIC BAG WITH A ZIP-LOCK TOP

Comments

[Ford79]

That's all I need for a good time: a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and the Thou.

[Heinrich the Rat]

Or it could be assembled from a few thousand ziplock bags after being cut up...

Just a thought.

[OtheU(manity)]

No pix?

KEY QUOTE: ... The one-metre-long sculpture in the Number 2 Terminal ...

Um ... shouldn't that be in the Number 1 Terminal?

[wickedwitch]

having once been married to a half-japanese man, i guess a 1-meter penis would be a "giant" to them. i was thinking we were talking "giant" in American terms. sorry, my mistake.

[Ford79]

Wow. My first first, and I wasn't even trying.

[OtheU(manity)]

WTG F79!!!

[crossgirl]

wonders if trojan makes ziploc baggies.

[estrogen centrale]

"stirred up controversy among some foreign visitors and flight crew, who have demanded its removal"
Sounds like plain old penis envy to me

“saying it is an offence to female visitors and flight attendants”
Did anyone bother to ask any of the women. I don’t find art in pubic, oops, public places offensive.

“many Japanese visitors pose for photos with the airport's sculpture”
Make room for ec in the photo, guys!

[Leetie]

How exactly do they "use" it to "tamper" the female mountain god who "unleashes" mudslides? Stick it in a cave?

[angene15]

And where are the pictures?

[mudstuffin]

"the Thou tribe has been using the giant wooden penis to tamper the female 'mountain god,' who can unleash rock and and mudslides."

I know all about "uleashing the mudslide" IYCMD, but what is "tamper"? Anyone?

[Yellow Rose of Texas]

WTG Leetie and EC! DID anyone ask the WOMEN?

[J. Bobbit]

Just leave it where it is, d@mmit!

[OverlookstheRyman]

Mud - to tamper is to "meddle with". Tamper can be good or bad, depending on the tamperer and the tamperee.

[Stevie W]

Hey ww,

"having once been married to a half-japanese man,..."

Was he a siamese twin? (Glad the surgery went well).

[Stevie W]

So women of the Thou tribe worship the penis? How do I convert?

[Clean Hands]

Trying to find a photo (what the heck kind of journalism is this, anyway???), I came across the following Taipei penis-related story.

A pattern seems to be emerging...

[Beppie]

Believe me, the female mountain god would probably much prefer a giant chocolate bar.

[mudstuffin]

if your thing is like a thimble (Yeah!)
yo, stupid, keep it simple (Yeah!)
get you a phallic symbol (Yeah!)
a meter long and nimble (Yeah!)

you take that wooden rocket whip it out of your pants pocket and you plug in the socket of that sexy mountain goddess you got tamperin' on the brain and its drivin' you insane you know you can't stand the pain till the clouds release the rain and make mud - mudslidin, baby

well you got your giant pecker its a meter long home wrecker go to the mountain and inject her she'll be givin' you a lecture about losing weight and drinkin' beer get some exercise get off your rear lay off them cheet-ohs that you hold dear tell that mountain woman you don't want to hear it you got to tamper - tamper that witch - give her all you got so you can satisfy that itch she say she loves you - yeah, that's rich - show me that you love me (no I didn't say "bitch")

lets make mud - do the mudslide baby

[KDF]

The Thou tribe said some Japanese also worship penis sculptures as a symbol of fertility

Wow. A penis as a sign of fertility. So subtle, that symbolism! Glad they explained it.

And Leetie, you made me *SNORK*

[Punkin Poo]

I must be in a depression, because normally I'd be all over a giant penis...

[wickedwitch]

stevie w- sorry to confuse and amuse. he was japanese and french. in the area of the groin, he was mainly japanese. make the picture any clearer?

[Clean Hands]

Gee, WW, if some of the classic Japanese porn art I've seen is any indication, he must have had a Thou-sized endowment, then. :-D

[Meanie the Blue]

Some foreign crew members and flight attendants refer to the sculpture as 'The Thing'

*SNORK*

I wonder if they also call the man in the White House "President YouKnow".

[ron]

Mornin Punkin.

11th commandment.
If Thou does not erect thy giant penis in front of a transgendered female mountain God mud will fly and the heavens will become dark and bleak making airports obsolete.

[wickedwitch]

classic Janaese porn is WAY larger than life. a result of much wishful thinking. sorry to ruin it for you. you know how they exagerate the size of the eyes in anime, that's pretty much the same deal for their porn.

[Blondentropy]

Oh, Sure! The mountain is cranky, give her a giant penis.

I'm guessing the Thou is a patriarchal society?

I'm with Beppie on this one!

[Beppie]

Yeah, not like American porn, which is all about realism.

[Clean Hands]

LOL WW. Kinda like John Holmes is not really representative of the average American male? Say it isn't so!!!

In my continuing research, I also came up with this entry, which is terrifying on so many levels that I cannot even begin to embrace them all...

[insomniac]

so their eyes are bigger than their...nevermind...

sings "You don't bring me mudslides anymore..."

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

"Some foreign crew members and flight attendants refer to the sculpture as 'The Thing' and have posted the photo of it on their websites"

The found it offensive, yet they posted pictures of it on their websites? Yeah, that makes sense. *eyeroll*

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

The They

[Clean Hands]

*SNORK* @ insom!!!

LBFF, I'm highly frustrated by that quote, because I'm coming up completely empty in my quest to provide y'all with a photo so that we may judge the true offensiveness of the sculpture in question.

[wickedwitch]

thanks ch, i really didn't need to see that first think in the morning. come to think of it, i never, ever want to even think about seeing it again.
insom and beppie - almost everything is bigger than their...nevermind. sorry, didn't mean to go there. but, since i'm there anyways, there is a handy little thing being manufactured by a japanese firm- it's a miniature magnifying glass and tweezers all in one handy little case.

[Siouxie]

*joins the chocolate-craving-pmsing crowd*

PUHHHHHLEEASE!!

Get that giant thing away from me and gimme a Big Mac & choc. frosty!!!

[Siouxie]

uh...hmm...Good morning too ;-)

dunno what came over me...coffee anyone?

[Meanie the Blue]

What gets me is the holier than Thou attitude of some of these "offended" people.

[Clean Hands]

Another find, this one not at all up to the terrifying standards of the last one (sorry, WW), but in its own way, deeply puzzling.

[Meanie the Blue]

Sorrye, CH, but I wasn't able to idaentifae aeny gieant penae in yaer linke.

[Clean Hands]

Clearly getting closer; we have a photo of Taipei sculpture. However, Google was fooled by the description of the third item on this page, which has me crossing my legs tightly and running for Back button...

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

*snork* @ punkin

crossgirl-Would that be with or without ribbing?

CH-It's gotta be out there, but sometimes people's personal sites don't come (NPI unless you think it's funny) up on a google search. But don't worry, we'll just have a moment of silence and zen-like visualization. Hmmmmmm.

[crossgirl]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[blurk]

If they remove the sculpture will I have to give back the modeling fee I was paid?

*aaaannnnndddddd....let the groans begin*

Mornin' everyone. :P

[crossgirl]

grooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn

[Siouxie]

Leave it to a buncha male tribe dudes to erect (har!) a giant dick. Sureeee they say it's to 'tampon' the female biotch god but we all know it's all wishful thinking on their part.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm......

*snork* Silly Blurkie!

Hmmmmmmmm........

[Siouxie]

Morning *groan* blurk ;-)

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

*after several moments of visualization, suddenly wishing husband were not out of town on business*

[estrogen centrale]

No, you absolutely do not have to remit the modeling fee. Artist's interpretation, dearie, artist's interpretation.

[Siouxie]

*sends Lisa a vibrating soap w/extra batteries*

yer welcome ;)

[Clean Hands]

Morning, blurk. I ain't touching that with my ten-meter pole...

Tribal, Siouxie? Hardly! Did you know that many Roman towns were decorated liberally with phalluses, during the height of the Roman civilization?

In truth, our modern aversion to depictions of the phallus is the historical oddity. But then, American culture is so mixed up about ANYTHING having remotely to do with sexuality that it's not that unexpected...

[blurk]

*SNORK* @ Clean

AHahahahahaha

[wickedwitch]

CH - it's like my good old mom used to tell me - "if you've seen it before, it's nothing new; and if you haven't seen it before, you don't know what it is, so it's stupid to get offended". war is offensive, death is offensive, but large phallic symbols, come on, get a grip. nevermind, just nevermind.

[crossgirl]

maybe we need a giant statue of a vibrating soap.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

;-)

[Siouxie]

WEll yeah CH, all throughout history man has been obsessed with his genitalia ;-)

Here in American as well...look at the Washington Monument and Trump Tower ;P

[Siouxie]

*grabs that extra 'n'*

[Clean Hands]

I've got it!!! A giant vibrating penis soap!

I'm going and filling out my NEA grant apps right now!!!

[Clean Hands]

Only makes sense, if you think about it, Siouxie. I mean, if scratching your nose felt that good, we'd have giant statues of noses littering the landscape.

[estrogen centrale]

Sioxie,
And the Transamerica & Empire State bldgs...

[Siouxie]

Unless it's made out of chocolate, it ain't gonna tamper the bitch god from hell during those difficult days of bloating & cramps, CH...just sayin'

[blurk]

*snork* again @ CH

Ya gotta stop!

[estrogen centrale]

Add a "u" pls.

[insomniac]

"objects on runway may be larger than they appear"

[Siouxie]

exactly, ec!

Figures this was and continues to be male-dominated world...

Only monument I can think of vaguely relating to the female body are The Grand Titons...and that was GOD's work (she's awesome)!

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Siouxie-good point!

[Clean Hands]

Doesn't a Mudslide involve some chocolate, Siouxie? :-D

[Punkin Poo]

Ya know, Mr-Big-Shot-Blog-Pants sure makes it dang near impossible for us to comment on his posts in a gentlemanly fashion when all he posts is peniseses and poop.

*feels her talents for witty comments about formal dinner settings and tax codes are wasted*

[Siouxie]

and vodka ;P and they're YUMMMMYLICIOUS!

Why do you think this female god kept from giving the dudes the mudslides huh?? wasn't cuz of the giant penis.

[Punkin Poo]

I got the mudslides once in Mexico.

(Do NOT drink the water!)

[Clean Hands]

*SNORK* @ Punkin!

[Siouxie]

ewwwie, Punkin...that's NOT the mudslides I was referring to.

Although I have personally never had a problem drinking Mexican water.

[Jazzzz]

I see it's a scale model.

Mud... they said "Tampax™", not tamper.

stevie w...sad story...They were Siamese (co-joined) twins born apart and had to be joined back together.

[Meanie the Blue]

Maybe this can cover a variety of cravings.

[Siouxie]

YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[crossgirl]

ch, go ahead and apply for your grant, i'd be willing to try it out, bloating and cramps be damned.

[crossgirl]

thanks meanie, i hear the big ones really satisfy.

[Chaz]

i hate coming in late to a party...I will wait for next one

[Siouxie]

crossgirl, we're talking about chocolate right?

Size definitely matters...

[crossgirl]

ummm. yeah, siouxie. chocolate. yup. the more you get, the more satisfied you are, right?

[Siouxie]

yep...deeply satisfying chocolate is...

*channeling Yoda*

[Clean Hands]

Personally, I just like to have a steady supply, of high-quality chocolate.

[Stevie W]

"he was japanese and french. in the area of the groin, he was mainly japanese."

So no luck at making a mountain out of a molehill?

[ron]

Didn't Mae West say that size didn't matter unless you were using it?

And not really this genteel.

[Jazzzz]

huh?

[Stevie W]

Good long one, mud, and multiple snorks to p-poo, inter alia.

[Clean Hands]

Further research caused me to come across this tidbit, from which I will quote at length (har, har):

In Los Angeles, a Boeing 747, which weighs 875,000 pounds, was attached to a harness split into 20 lines. At the end of each of these lines was supposed to be the penis of a Taiwanese man. The team's coach, Tu Chin-sheng, said the group, who plan to aim for a world record, have practised quite a bit. For example, three of the men's penises lugged a truck with 100 passengers three metres in a Taipei square. The Guinness Book of Records, who invited the team to fly to the US for the challenge, recently yanked their support, so please let the team know if you are interested in sponsoring the attempt.

This is part of a martial art known as Nine Nine Magic Art or, more popularly, "penis hanging". The art is supposed to enhance general health as well as virility.

I'm starting to think that, in comparison, Americans' attitudes about their penises ("penes?") are downright healthy.

[Beppie]

Thank you Blondentrophy!Some women might be afraid to admit that, but they are all thinking it! We must have posted at the same time, so now my comment makes me look like I was cranky myself and ignoring you. Sorry!

[muffles]

...who can unleash rock and and mudslides. "

Well this reporter sounds a little nervous about the mountain goddess, if you ask me.

[Jazzzz]

Clean ....if you haven't tried Bissingers, there may be none better. Ms Jazzzz ( officially addicted to chocolate) swears by it. She says another popular chocolate, we shall call "Dagiva" is no comparison. Try Bissingers.com. They ship to your door in insulated packages. No, I don't work for them, I'm just sayin' Ms Jazzzz is REALLY happy when she uhhhh..gets some. *wink wink*

[wickedwitch]

stevie w - not even with the magnifying glass and tweezer combo.

[Siouxie]

Jazzzzie - when it comes to chocolate I, personally, am not picky...gimme a good old Hersheys™ bar and I'm good and happy ;)

[Jazzzz]

Yanking there support? I pretty pricky picky about who yanks on MY support.

[Jazzzz]

yeah, yeah I know THEIR!!!!!

[wickedwitch]

thanks Jazzzz - i now know what all the ladies on my chrismas list are getting. i'm afraid that i was salivating on my keyboard just cruising bissingers web site. there goes another diet!

[Clean Hands]

Chocolate doesn't go the trick for Mrs. H - she's worried about her weight, silly woman - but I might have to lay in a supply for myself. :-D

[Jazzzz]

Ms.Jazzzz says the sugar free Bissingers is as good as the "hard stuff"

[Clean Hands]

Okay, good to know. I might have to give it a shot. :-D

[Siouxie]

*would say something about all this talk about chocolate is making my mouth water but I won't*

Lunchtime!

[Matt]

Sure, its a meter long, but does it have proportional girth?

And by the way, after some of the "things" I saw in shop windows on Bourbon Street a couple of years ago, one meter isn't that big.

*Still in therapy*