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November 30, 2006


Lovell pointed toward the unnatural shapes in Conatser's jacket and pants and said, "You've got something."

(Thanks to many people, but first to Cathy Seidenberg)


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With a song in his heart and a solid-body in his pants.

Does this Fender make my bumper look big?

What can be said? First?

dangit!! Cathy was quicker than me!!

I wonder if that music store sell organs:
"Hey, pal, is that a Korg in your pocket or are you just happy to B#?"

stevie - as a UCLA attendee, you should know by now that you're never FIRST.

Borrowing Annie's line and rearranging it a little:

"Is that a solid body in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"

I am when I want to be.

*clunks Annie & stevie upside the head with a Dolphin's helmet*

Stop it you two!! sheeshhhhhhh!

"He made a statement saying he needed the property because he needed to make ends meet."

Ethics much? Bleh. This guy's clearly on a track to re-offend. Throw his butt in jail.

I guess he was wearing a G string.

i just love a man who can fill out a pair of jeans.

Someone should tell him that Santa and Santana are watching.

*snork* @ AWbh

LOL Val!

Nothing like sitting around strumming all day.

Awright, annie. I'll give ya one for the Santana crack.

This reminds me of why I dont date anymore...I had this very same conversation with my last date.....

"Hey what have you got there?"


*Pointing toward the unnatural shapes in his pants* "You've got something."

If this guy got together with the last guy, they could steal a violin and bow.


*snork* @ Val!

Now, now, don't fret, Stevie. Yule B first string someday.

Later in court: "You are the magistrate, and I did steal."

for judi (and cheap guitar enthusiasts)-

I think we should go easy on him on A Chord that he was trying to make ends meet.

Clifton, don't you take my Epiphone away...

Annie, I like guitars...but I'm NOT cheap!

*send Siouxie a Breedlove*

He was a big baby. When he was caught he cried "wah wah!"

So when the perp removed the guitar from his pants, he was stratocastrated???

I gut nuthin.

I like guitars, too...and I AM cheap.

And easy.

I'm so ashamed.

*hugs Cheryl*

*strums her new geeetar*

judi, judi - i sent this in yesterday, and last nite even keith olbermann was talking about this bozo!! let us not fall behind in loudly citing dumbos!! [or is that dumboes?] anyway! we must remain on the cutting edge!!

*snork* @ Punkin.

queensbee - I sent keith olbermann AND Bozo in the day BEFORE yesterday.

I'm a pickin'...

And I'm a grinnin'...

5 blog bucks to identify the reference.

Punkin gets a *snork* for effort.

Is that a Gibson in your pants or are you just happy to see Mel, Sugart!ts?

Johnny Cash?

What's hmmm...yer pickin' yer nose and happy about it for 5 blog bucks, blurk?

Some terms of endearment really stick in one's mind, don't they?

blurk: HeeHaw

What's for supper?

Buck Owens and Roy Clark

Dingdingdingding...we have a winner, markhh!!!

Roy Clark and Buck Owens.

And Punkin!!!


Here I was thinkin' "The Joker" by Steve Miller. (But don't call me Maurice.)

I was going to say "Beavis & Butthead."

Something in the way he bulged
Attracted Clifton Love's attention
Something in his gait divulged
That he would be thievin' now
Prevented from leavin' now...
Dum dum dum, dum dum dum.

yay stevie!!!

When he was walkin', do ya' think he was pickin' & grinnin'?

You beat me to it, stevie. Good job!

Bulge me, Fender
Bulge me sweet
Never let you show.
You will make my band complete
And I need you so.
Bulge me, Fender
Bulge me, do
Let's make people dance.
So my Martin, I stick you
Deep inside my pants.





Girl, you taught me how to hurt real bad
And fill my pants with loot.
And showed me how to hide the stuff I'd gain.
Another lesson 'bout a naive fool
Who came to Arkansas
And found out that his eyes
Go blind with pain.

Now it's guitars, cateracts, hillbilly stupid
Painful, painful pants that I wore home
Yea, my guitars, cateracts, hillbilly stupid
The only things that keep me hangin' on.

Bravo, Annie!!!!

Yay, stevie!
*Props up Siouxie.*

"Oh Morgan,
You came and you took without payin',
But your bulge gave you away,
Oh Morgan!"

Wooooo stevie w...Ms. J just bought me a spankin' new Martin for our anniversary......SWEET !!!

"He made a statement saying he needed the property because he needed to make ends meet," Wahls said.

This is one of those statements that, in the light of day doesn't make sense, but at the time completely justified theft.

*shaking head, rolling eyes*

*gets dizzy, falls down*

Punkin, I'm not in a state to deal with a Manilow earwig right now. That was cruel.

cornfucuis say: to make music in your pants, one does not need a guitar .....

A young man named Morgan Conaster
Whose bright idea turned to disaster
Down his pants stuffed a Dean
Tried to get away clean
It's too bad he couldn’t walk faster.

Well done everyone!!

oh and thanks Annie!!

everyone except PUNKIN!!!!


*passes bleach to Siouxie*


If the thief had been a woman:

"A girl who just wanted a Fender,
Knew no one had money to lend her.
Almost got away scot free,
Til the owner, who thought she
was hot, found out he couldn't bend her!"

LOL ok...you've redeemed yourself...

Thank you, thank you very much......

Hey Siouxie - If you post now, you can be 69 again!


Man, it's getting harder and harder to admit I'm from Arkansas....

And I've been to DeQueen. Trust me, this guy could be mayor.

Speaking of 69, I note the guitar body was above his waist, whereas the neck and head [stock] were below. OK, I got nuttin'...

Except! I just received a package in the mail from Gillette that has a razor in it with ...[wait for it]... 6 BLADES! *testosterone/ adrenaline rush, followed by facial hemmorhage*

CJ, don't worry. I can sew you right up!! ask CH! I'm getting better after my uh...one patient.

Off topic for CJ:
Did you send the Hiaasen book?

Why is it Gillette gives a guy 6 blades when us girls with the Gillette Venus are still stuck with 3?

I think the engineers at Gillette outta get their next shave via a wax job. Teach them to not overlook the bikini shave. Ahem.

*steps off soap box*

acccck Cheryl! how right you are. Bikini stubble. OUCHIE!

*applauds Cheryl H*

Yeah, guys get 6 blades to shave a few square inches of face, while we have a measly 3 blades for two whole legs!!! Not to mention OTHER parts!!!

*relinquishes soapbox*


*Jealously eyes Cj's new razor*

Sounds like some of us gals have Venus-envy.

*snork* at AWBH

LOL Annie!


OK, ladies, I will forward your comments to Gillette. The current model has blue trim, but I am sure they can make the in pink, for gals, or green, for envy!

PS: Blade # 6 is on the reverse side from the basic mowing mechanism, for "tricky places." Ouch!

Oh, ec: No, I read it instead. I will send, shortly [thanks].

pssst....Siouxie...get the hot wax from the other thread...looks like CJ may need some.

good thinking, Annie!


This may fall into the TMI catagory, but what the hell - you people already know EVERYTHING about me (or you will in a second):

I guess it must be because I am of the extremely waspy english variety, but I have no need to, ah, landscape "down there" as my topiary seems to know it's bounds. Hot wax has never even waved in that general direction. And it's all blonde anyway.

*hopes women of mediterranian descent do not hurl sharp objects at me*

Oh Punkin...we have missed you!!

I believe we have already covered the landscaping preferences here.

Jes one of life's evil coincidences, Punk; gals descended from Viking pillagers live in climates where they wear the most clothes, those from the Mediterranean pirates wear thongs as outerwear!

Poor CJ - the @ss is always keener on the other side.

Got sidetracked at the sidebar concerning the guy who tried to put his wife in the oven...

Ahem. How can so many have it so wrong?
Under the category of too much information:

CJ. Those of us that are directly descended from Vikings come from places like Norway. Norway is cold. And so thusly mother nature has blessed us with an exterior coat of fur as it were. Its just not as dark.

Punkin is clearly descended from some other stock. I'm guessing giving them ample bazoomage and a natural brazillian hair line, maybe porn stars.


This evening's thread checklist:
Razors? check.
Hot Wax? check.
Scalpels? check.
Calendars? Hey! Where're the darn calendars?!

CJ - they're back on the naked men thread. My personal fave is the one I posted at 06:39 PM for blurkie.

*snork* I looked at them earlier: They're Real and Spectaular!

That story was fun to follow as I have some gator moving I was contemplating. Staff meeting this morning, I threw out the 'anybody wanna help?' An anxious taker was disappointed when I explained, 'Hell no, you can't shoot them!' Now that he's gotten used [?] to that and us swimming with them and capturing them, as long as they are cold, he will read this and know they're not THAT cold. Dang! And I was pretty sure I could swim faster than him!

Okay, let me get this right. Cj, am I to understand that you are planning on catching a real live gator?

CJ - devil take the hindmost.
In other words, if you waxed the hair off, you'd be slicker and swim faster.

more HOT WAX???? just askin'

CJ, I'm worried for you. Have you already forgotten this earlier thread ?

Although, I'm sure you won't be smokin' crack.

More hot wax for Siouxie.

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