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November 26, 2006


The Potty Hammock


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Do I get to be first?

On the potty, that is.

Let the kid use the regular seat. It will be especially good practice for later in life when someone leaves the seat up and they fall in at 3:00 AM in the dark.

And is the hole adjustable? Thats an awfully small circumference.

What's wrong with good old fashioned Paris Hilton TP???

Wow..This device could be great to use to teach my hubby and son how to aim...Can you order it with red and white rings??

The word "hammock" in the title misled me into thinking that this device was a handy way for the suburban men who inhabit New Yorker cartoons to remain lazily swaying between two trees in their backyards while their wives nag them about shirking the yardwork.

As for the real thing... who'd put this in their pocket? And "The Germs That Live in All Bathrooms" sounds like a really bad childrens' book.

25 Florida Strippers Nabbed
Tampa-area clubs again raided in undercover sting operation

FEBRUARY 3--Florida investigators yesterday returned to the scene of the grind, arresting more than two dozen strippers in an undercover investigation.


My Comment: Where are they now? Hopefully #'s 21 and 23 are not anywhere near Dave's personal belongings. Or the state for that matter.

Florida stripper #23.


Lairbo-That was my thought. Why would someone put this in their purse or pocket.

geez...I hate to nit pick but can't any of these ladies (HA!) spell PROSTITUTION????

and yikes!!! some of those as just NASTY!!!

for the suburban men who inhabit New Yorker cartoons to remain lazily swaying between two trees in their backyards while their wives nag them about shirking the yardwork

ya aren't speaking of yourself, Lairbo, are ya? ;)

and to Lairbo and Lisa, i'd never ever put one of those things in my pocket, either. eeeewwww!

I was going to suggest this as another candidate for next year's guide, but, on second thought, it's probably too useful to qualify:
Sound Effects Telephone

Why would anyone put this thing in their pocket, when they could wear it like a hat?

"What has it got in its pocketses, hmmm?"

Is that a potty hammock in your pocket or did you just sh*t all over yourself?



Sthrngrl: I can neither confirm nor deny that I own a (original recipe) hammock. I can state plainly however that, at present, I do not own a lawn.

I bought mine at Hammocker-Shtinker.

*snork* at Stevie

and Lairbo, does this mean you own a "non-original" hammock, as in maybe...a potty hammock?

a *snork* and a simul, stevie. was it good for you? ;)

If you go get a hammock potty
I wish you a lot of luck
Cos if your toddler kid can't keep it in the lid, well
Your home life must suck

But it's alright now
He'll learn his lesson well
If he still pees everywhere, boy your
House must really smell.

--apologies to Rick Nelson

lol sg. You bet it was. Let's cuddle.

When the statute of limitations has expired on such things, I may reveal why there is a rope hammock (non-potty variety) stashed inside an old-fashioned country road-style mailbox from Iowa on a top shelf at the back of the hall closet in my apartment in upper Manhattan. ISIANMTU. (Those of you familiar with NY real estate can take a moment here to gasp in wonder that I have: a) a hall closet and; b) a hallway.

p.s. Sthrngrl & StvW: get a room, you crazy kids.

You people laugh, but I think they're on to something here. Just wait, next year we'll be seeing the "Air Jordan Potty Pump" at a premium price of $300, closely followed by a Steve & Barry's "Pot Shots" model for only $7.95, imprinted with Stephon Marbury's buttprint! (Yes kids, this is the ACTUAL MODEL that Marbury uses during games!)

Hmm if we search real hard in novelty stores we might even find a few remaindered copies of the "Dave Barry exploding porta-potty." What fun!

ok, we can cuddle, and cuz you're a nice guy, i promise i won't sing.

i'm saving that for DPS. ;)

*waits impatiently for Lairbo's statute of limitations to run out*

Stevie W: Huge Snork.

Thanks, I needed the laugh break.

*back to cleaning the floor on my hands and knees*

And Southerngirl, I hope you have a christmas medley picked out for DPS.

I pity the thief who nabs that purse.

Med, it really doesn't matter - it'll all sound the same anyway. ;)

SG - How 'bout O Come All Ye Faithful?

*off to clean my mind up now*

*off to clean my mind up now*

Med, why the heck would ya wanna do that? :D

SG: It's my semi-annual dusting off the cobwebs day today. Didn't you get the memo?

I might even get out some Christmas decorations -- if I get my shoes re-organized. That's a big job!

The Father of our Country learned his bathroom habits on one of these. What, you've never heard of "George Washington Sloshing the Potty Hammock?"

Folks, I just got back from our current remodel project, and I must admit, my first thought was "Potty hammock? Ooh, like a swim-up bar...saves energy!" Not that I would ever...it's a guy thing...I won't even get into a pool with one. I mean, eeeewww!

bali, you won't get into a pool with a guy?

Would that be swimming pool or cesspool?

With a swim-up bar. Obviously, I've gotten into a pool with a guy. Football. Look at all the money I've won. Wait...what kinda pool?

BTW, if anyone wants to HELP with the remodel, oh, say, to keep my 25+ yr marriage intact, let me know. Because left-handed people always do things SO backwards.NTTAWWT. Except to us Righties.

bali, obviously, i knew what ya meant.

(we have pictures of you and the guy in the pool)

Um, sthngl, those weren't MY bubbles. Swear.

Plus, what, you have sattelite now? Pshaw!

baligurl - I'd love to help you out, but I'm a ytfel.



bali??? exqueeze me but...I happen to BE a leftie (handed person, not politically) and I OD TON OD SGNIHT SDRAWKCAB!!!


WOWSA Annie...psychic left handed simul!

escary...bery escary!

bali - satellite, and video. ;)

and TTTFFFFPPP! is really hard to pronounce.

just sayin'.

Looks like the year's number one Christmas present to me. (And number two, too.)

Well. I'm a rightie, and I consider myslf VERY behind the times. Y'all go ahead, of course...I SO have to bake many pies tomorrah...Man, there is NO recovery...

I know a guy who got one of those Potty Hammocks stuck around his neck. It took 6 firemen and "the jaws of life" tool to remove it. Potty Hammocks are too dangerous.

Most people know the best way to potty train a small child and keep them from falling into the pot is with duct tape. Once the child is done, (and you remember to go back and check on them) you can just throw the tape away. No mess.

Duct Tape is ecological too. It takes 450 years to bio-degrade. That is just long enough to choke a "Sea Turtle."

A Sea Turtle that could run out in front of your car and kill you and your duct taped child..??

*snork* (I think)

*zips in*

LTTG, but I'm a lefty too, and I don't understand why scissors are only made for right handed people!!!

And beside putting the hammock thingy in your purse, wouldn't you have to touch the toilet you were putting it on??? ICK!

Methinks Aangry Repub. needs to look into some Anger Management Classes.

Did you have a traumatic experience with a Sea Turtle when you were a child?

El-No, but I was never duct taped either.

Oh wait, you were asking AR? (Sorry, I wasn't paying close attention.)

Angry Republican: My mother DID use duct tape to potty train me- do you know how awkward it is for me in a public restroom, when i have to bring a roll(of tape)with me? I think i speak for every past and present child when I refer to the fear of falling in and being "flushed away"- I know I'll be first in line to get these for my younger family members- its the most humane way of potty training so far.(PS :vote libertarian)

Sea turtle soup is pretty good. Kinda taste like spotted owl.

Enlighten me, Jazzz. What does spotted owl taste like?

Potty Hammock Marketing Slogan Idea:

We're Number One at Number Two!

And my mom potty trained me with M&M's. I like her method better.

She's still a crazy, old bat though!

Gina Pane should have had your mom, Med. At least her mom should have used the Potty Hammock. Then she would have known that pooping in the Bronx was OK.

DPS: More evidence that the apocolypse is happening now.

Truth is stranger than fiction. People are just, weird. What thought process leads you to THAT?

Reiterating the scentiment of this thread..... ewwwww!

Lisa, you had me blinking there for a moment! ;)

Taste like sea turtle, of course !

Jazzz -- COL. That is: Cackled out loud.

My kids are looking at me weird now. Thanks.

*snork* thrown at "scentiment" ....wtg Med

What does spotted owl taste like?

why, like sea turtle, of course!

yeah, i know, jazzzz said it already, but i thought of it before i read his comment, so i said it, too.

you don't mind, do ya jazzzz?


Calling all smarta$$es:

What do spotted owl and sea turtle taste like?

Rabbit, snake, squirrel,.... varmint!!!


Sioux, you calling me chicken?

I represent resent that remark!

P'haps those pix (of "strippers") of # 21 and # 23 are a bit nastier than usual 'cuz they're guys? ... Merely ... wonderin' ...

and ...

for left-handed scissors, check here ... merely trineta help ...

LOL noooooo...Med!

chicken...as in "tastes like"???

Sioux - Love You! :)

But I prefer Beef. Or (just in case Wyo or blurk happen by) venison, elk, or bear.

Loves ya back, Med ;-)

*passes on the gamey meats though* (sorry cowboys)

oh! spea

oops...pressed the wrong button.


oh! speaking of cowboys...I almost got a new calendar today...Studs in Spurs! woooooo hoooooo!!(my daughter looked at me funny)

No worries - the beef-eaters can't manage to stay up this late...with their cholesterol issues and all. ;)

Kids are so fat these days, do they even need this thing?

Let me be the FIRST to say, "Good morning, Right Coasters! Only 29 1/2 more shopping days until Kwanzaa. What the he!! are you sitting around for?"

More lights! We need more lights, and a fresh fuse for my brainstem! Danger, Will Robinson, danger!

I hope you're all going to watch the Potty Trampoline on... what? Oh, it's the Potty Tampon. No? Wait. It says the Potty Ayche Aye Em Em... Potty Hammock. OK, the Potty Hammock on Extreme Makeover, Home Edition in two weeks. This family's story is heartbreaking. They kid was using one of those flimsy plastic potty training seats and it broke. He fell into the bowl of the toilet and almost drowned in his own urine. Since then, he's been too scared of the toilet to go near it. Lemme tell you, it's hard finding diapers for a 9 year old! Anyway, I hope you'll all watch!

yeah, i want to fold that up and put it in my purse. here you go,[ahem] little darling, here's your portapotty. uh, nah. and, ewwww.


This early? That's not exactly whut I'd term an "eye-opener" ... merely sayin' ...

Or ... mebbe Annie meant these? (As a different sort of "eye-opener"??? NTTAWWT ...)

rut roh!

I think Annie's going into C.L.O. (Christmas Lights Overload)!!!

Good Morning Everyone!

*sets out coffee & hot chocolate & cuban pastelitos (pastries)*

G'mornin' Siouxie ... Tnx for virtual coffee & yummies ... gotta go get some real stuff now, get ready fer werk, and emigration to SoCal ...

Mornin', Siouxie - mmmm, thanks for the coffee.

These comments seem to be especially gross.

Carry on.

Sea Turtles are all "fun and games" until one DARTS out in front of your car.

These potty hammocks are dangerous.

To Eleanor,- I am in anger management. (Every since that last election.) I think it is working out really well. (As long as I have no human contact.)

To Mo Faux,- I have been duct taped to a toilet, many times. It isn't fun.

(PS) I would vote for a libertarian if the right one came along. I read a book by Harry Browne. I agree with a lot of it.

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