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November 19, 2006


Thanks to those who came to see the Remainders Saturday evening. We had an unusually random show, even for us. If you could watch Daniel "Lemony Snicket" Handler perform his accordion version of "When Doves Cry" or Andy Borowitz perform "Steppin' Stone" and not wet your pants, then you need a  urologist.


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And if you couldn't, then you need a dry cleaner.

Maybe that's why Sioux filmed her lap.

sorry, Sioux, couldn't resist that one.


What if we needed a urologist anyway? Would it have made our conditions worse if we had been able to go?

Er..yeah...I think that sounds right. 8)

hands tropic some cranberry juice. just in case.

Now if the Remainders had just kept Nils Lofgren, "When Doves Cry" could have been an accordion duet.

I was hungry, thirsty, and completely blew the Daniel Handler name, not bothering to pull out my cheat sheet. Andy Borowitz was also very good, but Handler wet the crowd's trousers with his back-up vocals on Kathy's 'country song,' an ode to middle age women losing all control in the presence of a 20-something hunk (his favorite was 'Hormones!,' long after that verse was over). And his tango version of 'When Doves Cry,' on the accordian was mind altering!

Speaking of 20-something hunks, the opening act was John, the juggler. He was wearing a pirate bandana during the book-talk, earlier in the day, and Siouxie was saying [to herself] 'hot damn, CJrun's supposed to wear that pirate thing and he's apparently a freakin' hunk [but she said it in Cubanenglish]. He had the world's largest plunger:


This is what he did with the plunger:


Good times!

btw, CJ, glad to see you're man enough to wear pink.

I caught a little h3ll for this.

Wow, sorry I missed it.

Why can't they plan these events to center around me? You know, like the universe does.

For those of us who've figured out that Dave has written a book, the New York Times Book Review presents:

Also Selling
16 THE BANCROFT STRATEGY, by Robert Ludlum (St.Martin's)
17 WHAT CAME BEFORE HE SHOT HER, by Elizabeth George (HarperCollins)
18 THE GODFATHER'S REVENGE, by Mark Winegardner (Putnam)
19 FINDING NOEL, by Richard Paul Evans (Simon & Schuster)
20 ROAD OF THE PATRIARCH, by R. A. Salvatore (Wizards of the Coast)
21 THE ROAD, by Cormac McCarthy (Knopf)
22 DARKFEVER, by Karen Marie Moning (Delacorte)
23 HOME TO BIG STONE GAP, by Adriana Trigiani (Random House)
24 MOTOR MOUTH, by Janet Evanovich (HarperCollins)
25 WHAT IS THE WHAT, by Dave Eggers (McSweeney's)
26 CHRISTMAS LETTERS, by Debbie Macomber (Mira)
27 SHORT STRAW, by Stuart Woods (Putnam)

Only 12 more places to go and he's once again on the Best Seller List!

Excellent photos Cj. The juggler must be why Siouxie kept going down to the tiles. Thank God it wasn't a mime.

Nice juggling. I can only juggle 3 clubs, and I don't think I could manage a plunger.

I can't juggle three clubs, but I've visited as many as four on a Friday night.

Tangential, I know, but when exactly did the phrase "to pee in one's pants" morph into "to pee one's pants?" And why?

That thing could unclog one heck of a toilet.

I thoought it was a dijiree doo.

Since Sio had to change out the batteries in her camera, twice, I bet she has many shots of John, the Juggler that she is keeping to herself. I suspect that when the SB is in charge, they will get posted. Very skilled, personable, and a good-looking guy. His act made all of the difference in keeping the youngsters fascinated. To my mind, this was a very 'family' event. Dave may have wondered about the lack of non-light beer, but for the rest there was no beer! And if you think a RBR show @ 5:30 means 3:30 is a good time to hit a cafe or somewhere, outside of the Fair, to get a beer, you have never met Sio!. In Sio-land, 3:30 is 4pm and 4pm is time to grab the front row. ISIANMTU! There were still tileworkers laying the patio that they would eventually erect the stage atop. No matter! The good news is, that gave me a chance to go do more book shopping and I picked up a biography of John Adams and somethingorother for AWBH. [why is there 2-ply tp all over my truck?]

CJ, your purchase for Annie made my day. Wish I could have been there to be part of it.

Oops, on a previous edit, I cropped Daniel Lander out of the shot; this is him on the accordian:


Triple oops: Handler, not Candler, and not Lander! [jeez]

sometimes CJ's mind tends to meander.

Is that Slander?

can't wait to see CJ hand 'er Slander

OK, dat's enough.

any more would be blander.

BTW, Wyo; you may have addressed this in an email, but I had an extra copy of the new Christmas book with your blog and real name, on a post-it note, for the Blog to sign. The scoutmistress correctly pointed out that we didn't know what book you wanted signed, so your's went to a buddy's grand daughter, instead. I was just gonna ship it as a surprise [like an electric, remote-controlled fishing boat], instead, but some people are planners.

so close, but yet so far. Thanks for the thought, looks like Siouxie's gonna hook me up on the 28th.

*reminds self to become a planner one day.*

Crapcam Photos & Crap Cam Videos

Password: susy

DISCLAIMER: You know when, at a world famous rock concert, the camera person pans to the audience to catch their enthusiasm? On the video clips shown here, the part of the enthusiastic audience is played by Siouxie's foot, knees & kazoo yielding hand.

Thank you

Dave is right! Handler's "When Doves Cry" was a highlight. The artist formerly known as a weird symbol would have been proud! As was Borowitz' angst-filled "Steppin Stone".

*wet her pantaloons*

Sio, fabulous job with the pix. Other bloglits, a couple of things:

1] in "attempts a modern song," that's DB's son Tom in the green shirt. And, yes, as near as I could tell, that's exactly what it looks like on his shirt.

2] Aaron Ralston, guest keyboard player, was only using one hand, as we might interpret it. His other hand was prosthetic, a hook if you will. Two hooks, really, as he spread them for chords. That's the fellow from the hiking incident awhile back that got one arm trapped under a boulder. He traded that one arm for a chance to get back to civilization, so he could make his debut with the RBRs!

Tremendous pics & vids, Siouxie and CJ! Two thumbs up!

*imagining siouxie launching a wad o' wet pantaloons at the band, watching it fly through the air like a wounded duck, and land with a "thwack-splat" at Dave's feet on the wooden stage, spraying droplets in all directions including the cautionarily-marked "splash zone" of the first three rows.*

wounded duck????!!!!

pssst...CJ..it's Rob

Thanks for the book! I'll email you with my address. You didn't have to get that...but I'll definitely enjoy it. Your pics were awesome too! It was a total pleasure meeting you. (even if you weren't the hunky juggler - yer's still quite the hunk.)(Botero Woman seemed to like you quite a bit....just sayin')

I don't know of a woman in the place, who can say that she wasn't totally charmed by Mr. Handler for putting his personality right out there. Mr. Blog, although you were so upstaged by him (admit it Dave, there were more than a couple of times that you couldn't sing because you were snorking at his antics!), he is most definitely keeper for the RBR.

Having said that, Mr. Blog, will you still sign my copy of the Xmas novela, that nobody knows about, at B&B? Pretty please.

CJ, I'll take care of the Hiaasen book for you at his 12/14 sisgning at B&B.
Siouxie, as CJ fell apart, w/out your guiding hand, in getting the smoldering Hiaasen photo, perhaps we can get Mr. H. to give us a smoldering look at that signing

EC, first let me say it was a pure joy to meet you. And to think we only live 10 blocks apart!!! We will definitely get together again. Thanks also for getting us those front row seats!

We'll make sure to get the 'look' from Mr. H. CJ tends to be a bit shy about asking for pics & smoldering looks...it's a GUY thing!

Siouxie, everything you said right back atcha.

Yeah, methinks that Carl is much more likely to camp it up for you & me (being of the female gender) than CJ. Not that CJ isn't a sweetie, but he's still a guy; makes a difference...

Both of you, chk yr e-mls pls.

So, for the Blog trifecta, I get Daniel's name wrong twice and screw-up Blog Jr's. THAT's why nametags.

EC, I may take you up on the Hiassen signing. There was no way to hang out in line at his talk and make it back to the Patio @ 11, for Hall. Besides, Hiassen filled Chapman and Hall was part of a panel of 4 at the Patio with a modest crowd. I needed my EC/ Sio wingladies, as I had a pile of Hall books, bought one of the other panelist's books, but it was like opening the door to 4-kids on Halloween and only giving candy to two; between the three of us we may have amused all of them!

Travel note: the only difference between the low heat and hi heat settings in my room is the amount of cold air blowing out of the unit. I am huddling near the cooling fan on my laptop and think I may put on all of the clothing in my suitcase, as I'm too pooped to change rooms. I know it's only down into the 50s, but the 50s is definitely sweater weather. I know! Maybe I'll burn the book I bought for Annie! I could always go down to the truck and dig out my wetsuit, which will keep me warmer and help when the fire sprinklers come on.

stevie, I thought of that but seeing as Mrs. Blog and the little Blogette were there...I decided against it. They had plenty of undergarment with "The Ladies" brassiere.

EC, Carl will definitely camp it up for us. I need to get a sexy pink camisole like yours.

CJ, you did GREAT making our nametags!! Not only did we look like complete dorks bloglit fans...but we stood out from the rest of the RBRs geezer groupies!!!

stevie, I know that is seems incredible but we all really did behave ourselves... that is, except for Siouxie wounding our Hooters barmaid. Ya' see Siouxie, not everything that happens in Miami stays in Miami...

EC!! I was hoping no one would mention the little incident involving me burning injuring our barmaid!! sheesh!

Ladies, whatever floats your boat. Perspective from a guy of the male gender, if you ever want Hiassen to give you a smoldering look, mention the County Commission or OJ Simpson. He has ready humor, having seen most of it all, but appears to save his smoldering look for base corruption. *rubs hands in front of laptop fan*

And don't forget those multi-hued kazoos, Siouxie. What would we have done without CJ bringing them, except perhaps look like normal folk?

Oh fellow bloggers, we did score authentic RBR kazoos as souvnirs. Arencha' just green?

Oh no Sioux, I'm sure that Rachel wants you to say "I'm Sorry" one more time - this time into cyberspace.

Throw an e into souvenirs.

I don't think that we mentioned that judi has some kind of moves, people. The woman CAN dance.

That's my report. Tomorrow...

I'm sooooooo sorry Rachel!!!

Oh! And Travel Update for Annie, whom may appreciate this when she wanders in at midnight:

Miami is..., just Miami. Therefore, as Interstate 95 ends at Exit 1, by definition, the end, Exit 1 comes before Exit 2, they never tell you about Exit 2 [my hotel], and as Exit 1 approaches, there's Exit 2, [a left exit!]. Then there's a second Exit 1, for good measure, should you want to take the wrong Exit, twice. Since I knew where my hotel was, I wasn't particularly bothered. I knew I just had to make my way from the wrong Exit to 100 4th Street, SE. Which is how I wound up in Brickell Village. That will be very funny to people from down here, as Brickell Village is a private island, not near my hotel. I persevered, found where I needed to be, swooped in, and was screwed! I could see where my hotel should be, but, but, rivers and bays and oneways; you can't get there from here. Down to the end of yet another blind, dead end I found it! No, not my hotel: Villa Magna. There I was, at a dead end facing nothing but a fence, with the Villa Magna poster. And no matter where I looked, I couldn't find a button to close it.

YES! EC...Ms. judi can boogie...I almost took a pic but she'll just ban me from the blog...so I didn't!

Another noteworthy item: Mrs. Blog can sing! I think she'll be a great addition to the RBRs from now on...as will the little Blogette(with the "I can't believe my parents made me do this" look on her face...it was priceless!!)

Sweet times, Dave & The Blogs, RBR & bloglits - way to go! Thanks for doing the great photos & videos, Siouxie.

*RBRs gotta take NYC by storm, one-a these days*

CJ, I told you...I'm the biotch from HELL when I drive around Miami...there's not logic to it...just something we deal with.

Thanks Meanie! Don't believe what The Blog says about the RBRs being bad...they are GREAT! He's just being modest. They really did put on an awesome show for us and truly ROCKED!!!!

Oh! I completely forgot about Sio taking down our bartender! Sio was incapable of saying anything but, 'I'm so, so sorry,' for the next hour. Mind you, this was a sassy gal from Trinidad, that eventually leaned over the bar and stared at Sio, saying, 'it is NOT a problem!' So Sio said she was sorry only a few more times.

So, somehow the conversation got over to cooking breakfast and Rachel [bartender] told us her secret for making scrambled eggs, which she explained she will never tell anybody. As she walked off to take care of other customers, I pointed out to EC and Sio that Rachel wasn't doing a very good job of not telling her secret for scrambled eggs. They expalined to me that, since none of us were having breakfast with her, the secret was safe. I suggested to them that they should speak for themselves. And they LAUGHED at me! And, please notice, no endless apologies from Sio for bursting my fantasy. *note to self: no one takes you seriously with silly pirate doo-rag on your head*

silly cj, put down the beer if you want to warm up.
after reading your driving directions i'm pretty sure it's a good thing i didn't come down there, i'd still be circling the block trying to find the book fair. it is cold. i had to turn on the heater.

Thanks for the fabulous photos and the videos. It was almost as good as being there! Someday I hope to be. What a hoot! Hopefully CJ is asleep and not frozen solid. Niters.

"...except for Siouxie wounding our Hooters barmaid."

ec, it's probably alright. I hear those girls bounce back pretty well.

Thanks to Siouxie and all from the other side of the continent that couldn't make it to Miami!

AWWW CJ! you know I didn't laugh at that! In fact, you and Rachel woulda made a cute couple ...being from Jamaica and all ;-)

LOL, stevie...

Alan, glad you enjoyed 'em.

*sets out coffee & donuts*

Happy MONDAY!!!

mmmmmmmmmm donuts!

Wait a minute! Dave has a new book out?

stevie, I too am sure that Rachel is able to bounce back quite nicely. She was very feisty & an exceptionally lovely girl. I did notice that the 2 pettiest ones were behind the al fresco bar (where we were), in order to keep the business out there; so that other folks cruising the mall could see that the joint always looks busy. When you're in the hospitality industry, you notice things like food stations & bar set up logistics.
*yawn, boring to everyone else*

Siouxie, I'm not so sure that the little blogette had the "I can't believe my parents made me do this" look on her face... as much as the "Daddy, you are so going to pay for this, when I'm about 13, 14" look.

I think you've got a point there, ec...payback.

Always has been & always will be a b!tch.

that looks like it was so much fun!!!!!!!!

/pouts because I didn't get to go...

btw, "Proofreading Woman" sounded kinda Jimmy Buffettish (on crack) to me. Dave's ode to Judi?

Okie, it WAS a bit Buffettish...not sure who it was written for though. It was FUN!

Sio--I love the photos! And thank you so much for taking a "smouldering" picture od Dave. Is it just me or does he look like he was just informed all the toilets are the low flo variety?

*Also. Yippee! He got my package!* Snork.

Cheryl, you're very welcome! I think that was the best he could do with such short notice. When I gave him the baggie he's like...cool! I can actually USE these! LOL

***quick note on the crayon: He started signing in pen and when I remembered and gave him the crayons he wrote "This part is in crayon" ***


Sio--I can't wait to see what he wrote. ;-) Someday my kids will come across my collection of books signed in crayon and think what the hell?

Thank you so much! Dave is a v. good sport! Herman Wouk not so much.

Tried to make it to the RBR gig, but after walking the fair all day dressed as Robin Hood, (only half of the people who approached me knew that, I got called Peter Pan a lot), I was too tired...

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