MORE-THAN-WE-WANTED-TO-KNOW NEWS ITEM AND HEADLINE OF AT LEAST THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to Brian Smith)

Comments

[Art Vandelay]

Yeah I bet the Fire dept. thought the ER was a better idea.

[Art Vandelay]

Also FIRST

[bookworm]

Did the handle go in first or last? Never mind, I don't really want to know any more than this.

And why was it only SUSPICION of indecent exposure? Was it or wasn't it?

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

♩♫♬♪♫
He shove up the owl to swallow the gerbil
That wriggled and giggled and tickled his rectum
♩♫♬♪♫

What?
Awl?
That must have hurt going in.

[ubetcha]

♫♬♪♫ Awl of me, why not take awl of me . . . ♫♬♪♫

[adam]

come to find out he had a phillips up his nose and flat edge in his ear.....almost a complete set

[ubetcha]

*confident above song is too old to cause earworm to many*

[judi]

lol @ ubetcha

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

The song originally came out before my time, but I did see the movie.

Backinbowl. Backinbowl.

[leemedia]

... walking around naked is obviously not indecent in Calif.

[ubetcha]

Thanks, Judi. I was pretty sure you'd know it, probably in bari.

[Punkin "not one to talk" Poo]

I hope he got it awl out.

Oh, and I've heard of tree-huggers, but tree-f@#kers....???

[Suzy Q]

Ohmyfreakingawd!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Because I want my body back. And I want my freedom and my privacy. And most of all, I'd like to be able to take a leak without being fondled.

Good thing Roger wasn't this guy or he'd have had Edwina fondling him all the time.

[crossgirl]

i'm pretty sure that as he was concealing that screwdriver, he wasn't considering it a weapon.

[blurk]

*blurk arrives at scene*

Um...c'mere rookie, you can handle this.

[ron]

The guy was arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure.What the hell would it take to be sure?

[sthnbelle]

ubetcha, I'm not too far past my 5th 29th birthday, and I hadn't heard or thought about that song in many many years, THANKYOUVERYMUCH!!!

Does this qualify me for a seat on the geezer bus?

Wanders off softly singing...she swallowed the bird to catch the spider......

[insomniac]

he was paroled from prison the week before...

i guess his anal cavity felt lonely...

or he was awlditioning for the 'yanker homemaker'

[Josh]

A$$hole.

That is all.

[Brainy Jello]

Unsure about what to do, police called for a fire engine.

That never works for me.

[ron]

Y'awl come y'awl come y'awl come to see me if you can.

[MareBear]

I'm coming just a bit late, but what do you suppose they did with the awl? And how many pairs of latex gloves did the authorities fgo through?

[MareBear]

That would be "go."

[Annie Where-but-here]

gives new meaning to 'phillip's head.'

[ron]

I'm disappointed in the fire truck boys.They had a chance to administer an enema that old Guiness would have been proud to write up.

[mudstuffin]

The loveliness of Paris seems somehow sadly gay,
The glory that was Rome is just another day,
I've been terribly alone and forgotten in Manhattan,
I'm going home to my city by the bay.

I let a fart in San Francisco, high on a hill I long to be
To be where little cable cars climb halfway to the stars.
The hand tools in my derierre, I don't care.
I love to wank there in San Francisco, above the blue and windy
sea,
When I come home to you, San Francisco, my crazy moon will
shine for you.

[queensbee]

oh mud, i just snorked loud enough to be heard in the next cubby. and to think i was gonna write a parody of 'if i had a hammer....' wild applause!

[Annie Where-but-here]

*snork* at mud. I remember when I first saw your name on the blog. I um, misinterpreted it.

What did they say to get the tool out?

"Y'awl come back now!"

[Wally Ballou]

Aaargh! - thanks for the earworm. At least it replaced the old Jack Benny theme song that has been infecting my noggin lately (how's that for geezin'? - and I'm not quite as old as Dave)

Can it be the trees
That fill the breeze
With rare and magic perfume?
Oh no, it isn't the trees - it's love in bloom.

[mudstuffin]

So, Annie, you're saying you thought I might occasionally "lose a tool" myself? NTTAWWT

Nah, I understand the misinterpretation, and I don't help matters with my apparent obsession with snakes in the backside, etc. Also, I realize that writing poetry is not as manly a pursuit as, say, shooting things or making cabinets, and I confess to being deliberately ambiguous on the topic just for the hell of it. But your old mudder is just as straight as they come, and too old and too homely to change that now.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Sheehan went quietly afterward, without explanation.

Well sure, when they took his awl out, he was spent.

So to speak.

[Meanie the Blue]

Awl your base are belong to anus!

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

OMG!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Meanie - NTTAWWT...pain, perhaps, but nothing wrong.
Plus - a 'mudder' could also be a plaster/drywall guy, or a racehorse that goes well in the mud. So you had me thoroughly confused...and still do.

[CJrun]

No more, thank you, I'm awl full.

[Dr Earwig]

♫♪♫ Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, BANANAPHONE! ♫♪♫

There, the earwig is gone. But is the cure worse than the disease?

[Awlton John]

Rectum, damn near killed 'im.

[estrogen centrale]

I don't know... I think I'll wait until it goes Santaria sale. Then they'll throw in the stickpins for free!